Reviews with content warning for Infidelity - My Policeman

Let me preface this by saying, I did pick this book up so I could read before the movie came out because of my boy Harry.

This book is complicated for me, with characters who are extremely complicated. It's a very sad and tragic story. It's hard for me to completely like or dislike any of them. They all have their strengths and huge flaws. I finished the book and thought "...that's it? that's how it ends?"

I hurt for both Marion and Patrick. I actually really disliked Tom. For using Marion, who is seemingly was so blinded by love she would do anything for Tom, even when he didn't deserve it. And for not allowing himself to be true to himself, and be fully with Patrick.

I almost wonder if that's the exact reason he chose to marry her. He knew she was in love with him. Maybe he always knew, sensing her infatuation in their younger years. It wasn't fair to anyone involved. He loved Marion platonically but he should've at least tried to show he cared for her. He must've to some extent if he married her? Cut to the part where he finds out Patrick has been arrested and he has the nerve to break down to her. He never had the courage to tell her his true feelings, and yet I guess he suspected she knew? I hate how he gaslit her anytime she stuck up for herself. It was so infuriating. He was way too concerned with the proper way of doing things, his job and reputation and not the people in his life.

I think they were all pretty selfish in different ways. Patrick, for being the 3rd wheel in their marriage, full well knowing here's a woman who genuinely loves her husband and here you are having a secret relationship. Marion, for not leaving Tom and allowing herself to move on - instead writing the dreaded letter that ruins everything and hurts everyone. That was unforgivable. I'll never understand why she couldn't work it out with Tom or just leave him. And Tom, for unfortunately using both people for his own needs.

Heck! Tom should've married Julia then it could've been a Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo kinda situation. An understanding between them all to love whom they wanted in private. I sensed she was also queer and even rooted for Marion to have feelings for her.

I am really excited for the movie because I think it will portray Tom and Patrick's relationship better on screen. That's the one thing that confused me is I didn't expect this to be so much of Marion. I wish we got to see more from Patrick.

Content Warnings

raphaela's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

The last 50 pages broke my heart over and over again. We all know I would have never picked up this book without H, just because I’m a sucker for fantasy and happy endings. But I enjoyed this so so much, not only because it is set in Brighton but because it is such a heart wrenching story told absolutely beautifully. I will think about this one for a long long time.

Content Warnings

itsocchiolism's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

***** FULL OF SPOILERS****

Nothing is black and white in this book. Not a choice and not a relationship or dynamic between anyone. Everything is just complicated and painful for everyone.

It’s not “you hurt me and I hate you” , it’s more “you hurt me & I understand why you did it, but I still have a right to feel betrayed and angry. And I love you and I don’t know how to stop doing that, how to leave or how to fix this”

It’s “I know that you wish that I was braver, and that you tolerate the crumbs of love I give you, but I’m scared. And I know you deserve better but I’m here and I hope you can share me”

It’s “I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life, even if it means becoming close with someone & using her for our advantage. I don’t want to hurt her, nothing of this is her fault, I don’t wanna ruin her pride but at the same time I will do anything to be with you”

These characters felt so human. They are selfless and selfish, they are kind and ruthless, they are loyal and not. All at once.

Marion made a terrible choice when she decided to send that letter, if she would’ve known how dangerous the situation was she would’ve never done it because she didn’t want to risk putting Tom in danger. She knew how much Patrick meant to Tom, and she knew that hurting Patrick would hurt her husband as well. I found myself very frustrated with her in several parts of the book, but I think it’s just encompassing the bigger theme that is a woman’s place in society. At the time Marion admitted that she wouldn’t know how to leave Tom. It’s only at the end that she realizes that leaving is the only thing that she can do. That she has lost so much time, and she’s been a fool, and she can do it on her own- she can leave. She finds that self respect that she should’ve so much earlier on. But only after taking care of Patrick and doing everything that she can to forgive herself and earn their forgiveness. While at the same time letting them be happy by removing herself from the equation, and hoping that they can be alone together at the end.

It’s upsetting to me to see everybody bashing Marion so ruthlessly. Yes she did an awful, terrible and maybe even unforgivable thing, but where is the empathy for this woman, who is suffering the betrayal of her life? Try to put yourself in her shoes. You married the presumed love of your life and you become friends with his friend only to find out years later that your husband is actually gay, doesn’t romantically love you, and is definitely having an affair with his friend. Someone you have dined with, and gone to the theater with, & and on vacation and has been a huge part of your life for years. And not ever receiving an apology from either one of them.

Patrick and Tom are not guilt free, they are not innocent. they both took advantage of Marion. Tom by marrying her so he would be in a good societal standard, all while having a secret life and a love affair with the man he really loved. And Patrick also took advantage of Marion & in the security that she brought to his relationship with Tom.

I would say that ultimately it’s society‘s fault for the way that they misstreated queer people back then. That Patrick and Tom did what they could to do to stay together and to keep that sliver of happiness that they found with each other. And that Marion was just trying to save her marriage.

it’s no one‘s fault which makes this story so tragic.

I like to think that if it could’ve been avoided, Tom would have never married Marion. That him and Patrick would’ve been happy together and Marion would’ve moved on from her little crush on Tom and she would have found a husband that was fitting for her and it all would’ve worked out. but that’s in a perfect society, which is not the case here. so again I will reiterate that even though they all made mistakes they were doing what they thought was best.

I do wish we would have seen Tom’s perspective, I inferred as much as i could about his character, but it was a bit hard because we only saw him through the eyes of two people that were deeply in love with him. I think we don’t really get to know the character at all, it was more of an image of how his lover and his wife perceived him.

All the characters made terrible choices, they all had their reasons, their motives, and I can see each of their sides and stories. I think it was a beautifully told story, I loved the writing, the imagery, the feelings that it evoked in me. I felt protectiveness over them all in spite of everything, I wanted them all to be happy and find joy and peace with themselves.

Content Warnings

potatocomlegas's review against another edition

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sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

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