Reviews with content warning for Panic attacks/disorders - This Is Why They Hate Us

Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

This Is Why They Hate Us by Aaron H. Aceves

11 reviews

suzreadsalot's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

“So when are you coming home?”

Who gave Aaron the right to make me cry like this. Queer coming of age stories just hit different when you’re a 30 yr old who’s still figuring their ~~shit~~ out apparently.

tldr– I adore everything about this book and you (everyone) should read it and cry with me)

Sometimes it feels like the teens in YA books are polished up to the best versions of themselves but not here. Quique is a chaotic mess. He does messy, teen things. He’s real and unfiltered and it was beautiful.

I’ll never understand how people can say they can’t find anything to relate to in books about people different to them because even though I’m white, it felt like I was looking in a mirror. So many parts of Quique are also parts of me. Growing up in a working, lower class family and dealing with the struggles and mindset that creates. Struggling to find yourself while also measuring yourself up against [literally] everyone you see.
But the most relatable was his struggle with his mental health and learning to recognize when you need to ask for help. It took me a lot longer to figure out than it did for him.

I love how friendships were portrayed and how platonic love with his friends was just as important as his want/need for romantic love and lust.

I was worried I wouldn’t be able to fall in love with Saleem since he isn’t present for a good amount of the book but I did. He showed up and stole my heart.

I do wish we had been able to have a little bit more time with saleem

and be able to see them fall in love a bit more

but that might just be because I love them so much

Content Warnings

annamay1021's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

Content Warnings

bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

disclaimer if you’ve read other reviews by me and are noticing a pattern: You’re correct that I don’t really give starred reviews because I don’t like leaving them. Most often, I will only leave them if I vehemently despised a book.

I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. Everyone’s reading experiences are subjective, so I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not, regardless if I add stars or not.

Find me on Instagram: @bookish.millennial or tiktok: @bookishmillennial

My friend Jillian recommended this and I’m so glad she did! I thought this was a beautiful explorative coming-of-age, romance & slice-of-life piece of teen fiction. 17-year-old Enrique “Qique” is exploring his bisexuality during summer break, and I am here for his messy, confusing, quick-paced ho era (affectionate!!!!)

His relationship with his parents is so sweet, and I adored the dynamic he had with his Afro-Latina best friend Fabiola, who is also bisexual! Fabiola is chasing after thick-thighed Molly, while Qique has a few contenders!

Manny — Latino tough guy exterior but sends major sexual tension Qique’ away
Tyler — white guy who shows off his package via basketball shorts & is the talk of the town; also a huge stoner & other characters call him a “wanksta”
Ziggy — buttoned-up Black student body president from school who he feels *vibes* around but everyone comments “I didn’t think he liked boys”
Saleem — his devastatingly gorgeous, short Palestinian king, his unrequited love, pining so passionately for, long time crush and best friend
Lauren — meets her at a county fair or amusement park in a group setting

What I enjoyed most about a lot of Qique’s interactions with all of his potential love interests us that he didn’t have to continually “come out” to his love interests. For the most part, they didn’t talk about their sexualities, which felt authentic to how things unravel when you’re a teenager. I also was so proud of Qique for recognizing what kinds of dynamics worked for him, how hanging out with certain people made him feel, & what he truly wanted & was searching for in these experiences.

I think Aceves did a fantastic job of layering the sex scenes in this book with commentary and introspection as to what was coming up for Qique each time. Nothing is explicit; this isn’t smût, but books like this are important for teens to investigate their own sexuality, because let’s be real. Teens are fucking. Let’s not pretend we were born yesterday. It’s important to name these feelings as they’re experiencing them, and to read about characters figuring it out as they possibly fumble through it!

Lastly, the mental health representation was immaculate — to pretend adolescence is a fever dream of solely joyful times is to deny the human experience lol. I felt for Qique so badly! I am so glad there was talk therapy in this book, and how Qique recognized that maybe he still needed these types of guided conversations. The way medication is introduced and not demonized was wonderful too.

All around, this was an excellent book and I highly recommend it to all ages, but damn, I wish I had a book like this when I was fucking at 17.

Quotations that stood out to me:

Let’s do the things that will lead to us becoming the people we want to be.”

My best friend is kind of a big deal when it comes to social media. She posts everything from political opinions to astrology memes to thirst traps to comments on her celebrity crushes’ thirst traps to analysis of her favorite shows to thoughts on the Afro-Latina experience, and has gained an almost cult following along the way. One time she posted a video of us together with the caption Me and the baby daddy, and I started getting vaguely threatening DMs from hot girls with septum piercings.

It would be so much easier not to feel anything for anyone at all. The problem is I feel so much.

“Because boys are the worst. If I could choose not to be attracted to them, I would.”

I grip my phone so hard I wonder if I might actually crush it. I did it. I’m amazing. A true queer icon.

It’s funny how everything’s a double entendre when you’re living a double life.

I’m done with people. People are exhausting. Sure, they can be fun sometimes; they can “open you up to new experiences” or whatever. But the anxiety leading up to spending time with them and the emotional drain afterward make them not worth it.

I want a person to demonstrate that it’s possible to love me, no matter what. And those three words are so important: no matter what. I want someone to love me unconditionally. I want to be certain that nothing I could ever do would make them stop.

(And yes, the official name of a group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope. I found that out a year ago after fact-checking a Simpsons episode that claimed a flock of crows is called a murder. The show writers were right, and I’m glad to say there are plenty of strange collective animal names. A squad of flamingos is called a flamboyance! How wonderfully gay! A clique of frogs is called an army! Who are they fighting? I don’t know, but I support them!)

I don’t know. And I shouldn’t care. Because this is exhausting. I’m tired of being envious of people. It’s a never-ending list.

They are living, not just surviving. And I hate them for it. And I hate myself for hating them for it.

It always happens in the summer. People are supposed to get sad in the winter, but for me it’s always the summer. There’s too much time. Too much time to think. Too much time to feel. I

Here’s the thing about therapists: I always know what they’re gonna say. I know how I should be, how I should feel, what’s “healthy behavior.” But there’s a reason I don’t always go in that direction. When you’re poor and overworked you don’t go to the grocery store after your shift ends to shop and then go home to slave over the stove, even if that’s the healthier, more cost-efficient option. When you’re poor and overworked you go to McDonald’s, and even though you already feel guilty for ordering a large Big Mac meal, you throw in a strawberry shake because there’s a chance that fucking ...more

So often I blame myself for being lazy and dramatic, and while I’m sure I can’t blame everything on my mental illness(es), I just don’t want to be making it all up.

I’d rather not die after finding out how much there is to live for.

There’s a tension between us now, unmistakable and unwelcome.

You internalize an idea about yourself and it starts affecting how you act and you end up with a self-fulfilling prophecy. So I’m constantly doubting my attractions, my actual feelings. I’m gaslighting myself. Because the message I’ve gotten about guys who like guys and girls is that we’re faking, that we couldn’t possibly be attracted to girls if we’re attracted to boys. Bi girls get the same thing, but for them it means they’re perceived as straight and for us it means we’re perceived as gay.

Is this what those guys on the app meant when they put “not into drama” in their bios? They don’t want someone who will call them out on their bullshit? Who demands to be treated like a human being?

I hate that prejudice is a factor when it comes to my love life. I hate that it makes it seem like I see women as a second choice or a backup plan or a consolation prize when I could very well meet a girl one day who makes me redefine love. I want to be free. I don’t want to consider what people will think of me when it comes to what I want. But that’s not life. At least, not for me, not at this point in time. I hope eventually I find the courage to follow my heart when I need to, wherever it takes me.

Thinking about the fact that so many people have used religion as a way of making people like me and Saleem hate ourselves is crushing. But then I think about my parents (who still love me) and how no one group is a monolith, that no matter what your religion is, you can still choose to love others.

I don’t deserve to feel shame, to feel lonely, to be treated like a sex object, to be ignored, to be someone’s experiment. I definitely don’t deserve any of that. And I’m glad I know that now. It’s a feeling I hope doesn’t leave me for the rest of my life.

It’s not ideal, not anywhere close to that, but we make it an enchanted life. We bisexuals are, after all, mythical creatures.

I feel the weight of it, and it hurts. But I stop blocking the fear. And with it comes everything else. Joy and sadness and exhilaration.

Content Warnings

tkhenry99's review against another edition

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3.0

3 stars is probably generous

the writing is really weird and cringey a lot of the time. there are random scenes that almost make it feel like the author is tackling too much (like when quique reflects on his “dad bod” for the first time, or the accidentally arranging a hook up with a teacher thing, or the crazy/psycho commentary).

the way quique repeatedly outs several characters was also just. not it. and for some reason randomly reflects on how he doesn’t want to out someone in the middle? as if he hadn’t been doing that all along?

also, quique probably should’ve been ✨institutionalized✨ for suicidal ideation with a plan…. multiple times….. especially at the end…..

Content Warnings

fourofclubs's review against another edition

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challenging dark inspiring

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

This book is not what I expected it to be. You should definitely look up the trigger warnings before you go into it cause it start with a lot more serious subject matter than I expected which I didn’t mind but I wish I knew before going in. Dix book is also very very sexual and definitely hyper sexualizes The bisexual main character which I really disliked. He literally hits on his 31 year old teacher. I think this book could be good for someone who needs help processing their coming out journey but I also think that it leans into stereotypes that I don’t necessarily agree with. The last sentence of the book is amazing but I feel like some of the writing is kind of immature. The entire plot of the book is the main character having sexual thoughts about other people and the main love interest his friend. It’s just not my thing

Content Warnings

wenwanzhao's review

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challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This is the kind of awkward, raw, and somehow still lighthearted queer YA novel I don’t think we could’ve gotten a few years ago. What I found most attractive about This Is Why They Hate Us was the premise, the harem concept just isn’t used enough, even though it has a lot of potential. I think this book really accomplished what it set out to do, and I found myself pretty attached to Quique by the end (despite him being a 16 year old mess). Yes, I did find it a bit difficult to get into, and I have grown enough to cringe at how teenagers think, but I think TIWTHU is a worthy YA read.

Content Warnings

pey333's review against another edition

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emotional funny

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

raiynnn's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Content Warnings

imstephtacular's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

patricktreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

This book was everything. It gave me “They Both Die” vibes without both of them dying. That intensity was there and the pain was definitely felt, but also the joy. I also loved that we had the middle eastern representation. You don’t get to see that a lot in LGBTQ+ stories.

It should definitely have content warnings in it though because some of the topics can get very dark.

Content Warnings

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