You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.5 stars. Unique, flawed, first person point of view of a transboy. While J's story is moving, at times he comes across as a complete asshole. He pushes away the people who can help him, ostracizes himself from the people who love and struggle to understand him, and elevates himself (in his mind) to a status far above the people in situations similar to him. Overall, this book is a glimpse into the life of a teen who is struggling to answer the age old question: "Who am I?"
I don't really have much to say about I Am J. I read it and was interested by it, but it didn't have much impact on me. At the beginning of the book I felt hopeful and thought that I would really like it, but I didn't connect with any of the characters throughout the story. J was a perfectly fine main character and didn't come off as cliched or one-dimensional, but I just didn't have any connection there. They story moved kind of slowly for my tastes and I felt like I was waiting for something to happen that never materialized. I didn't dislike it, but I didn't love it either.
I read this book because of its unusual protagonist: J identifies himself as a boy mistakenly born into a girl's body. Though he has always known this on some level (and resisted the outside world's desire to misinterpret him as a lesbian), his world opens up when at age 17 he discoveres the concept of transgender, and that there is hormone therapy and a whole community of people experiencing the same thing. He becomes determined to get a testosterone shot, even though it requires parental permsission and seeing a therapist. He enrolls in a more GLBT-friendly school and sets about disclosing himself to his friend Melissa (whose side story is a good one as well -- she is a dancer and a cutter), his parents, and even his new girlfriend Blue.
This was a hard book to put down! I really got attached to J; his voice rang true in a very simple, take-things-as-they-are kind of way. I was reminded of when I read teen books when *I* was a teen, and took them at face value, without stopping to evaluate pacing, writing style, and characterization. There was just something quiet and effortless about the author's treatment of this under-represented subject and winning protagonist.
Includes an author's note and list of resources.
Favorite quotes:
"It was the only reason J could appreciate being born female: girls like Melissa -- well, actually, only Melissa -- let J in on their secrets, their biggest plans, their most frightened, sad places. Melissa let J see how smart she was. Other girls, of course, rejected J, saw only the most superficial aspects of him -- the way he was so butch and tough-looking -- and they'd run away, thinking he was a freak or a dyke or both. Something predatory, something hard and impenetrable. They'd never know, as Melissa knew, that J was a photographer, that he loved the interplay of light and dark and finding the wavering balance between them. They'd never know how gentle J was, and how scared, how he wanted to do the right thing but often couldn't. They'd never know how confusion and cruelty change people, make them hard -- the way the deepest cuts make the toughest scabs."
"How can I explain myself to you if I can't explain myself to me?"
"Madison was right, [the paintings] were all blue, but J hadn't known there could be so many shades. There were night blues and day blues, cruel-looking blues, the blues of water, and the blues of sun-beaten wood porches."
"The hormones made them think somewhat magically, because they knew they were changing themselves..."
"Art is the lie that tells the truth." --Picasso
"J tumbled down a few stairs inside himself."
"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." --J's swim coach
"J had decided to view his classes, and his classmates, as an anthropological study. He would be the neutral, silent monitor sent to observe a strange planet of noisy misfits."
"For Manny, J was just a blank wall for him to splat his rage against and see what it looked like hanging there."
"The support group wasn't like findng a home, exactly, as Philip had espoused, but more of a garage next to the home -- somewhere kind of offset and funky, where you wanted to hang out and explore what was inside."
"J felt as if he were at the edge of one of his construction sites, staring at the deep hole in the earth that always came before the building. People forgot about the excavation once the building went up, once the shiny windows and elevators and rooftop terraces made the edifice seem so permanent, so entitled to its height and stature. But beneath the building was still the deep cut in the land that allowed for its growth..."
"What all of these real people share with J, and what they have taught me, are the ways that anger and pain implode when one's internal reality collides with an often unforgiving outside world." --from the Author's Note
"when we're lost in the madness, kindness is wisdom" --from the Acknowledgements
This was a hard book to put down! I really got attached to J; his voice rang true in a very simple, take-things-as-they-are kind of way. I was reminded of when I read teen books when *I* was a teen, and took them at face value, without stopping to evaluate pacing, writing style, and characterization. There was just something quiet and effortless about the author's treatment of this under-represented subject and winning protagonist.
Includes an author's note and list of resources.
Favorite quotes:
"It was the only reason J could appreciate being born female: girls like Melissa -- well, actually, only Melissa -- let J in on their secrets, their biggest plans, their most frightened, sad places. Melissa let J see how smart she was. Other girls, of course, rejected J, saw only the most superficial aspects of him -- the way he was so butch and tough-looking -- and they'd run away, thinking he was a freak or a dyke or both. Something predatory, something hard and impenetrable. They'd never know, as Melissa knew, that J was a photographer, that he loved the interplay of light and dark and finding the wavering balance between them. They'd never know how gentle J was, and how scared, how he wanted to do the right thing but often couldn't. They'd never know how confusion and cruelty change people, make them hard -- the way the deepest cuts make the toughest scabs."
"How can I explain myself to you if I can't explain myself to me?"
"Madison was right, [the paintings] were all blue, but J hadn't known there could be so many shades. There were night blues and day blues, cruel-looking blues, the blues of water, and the blues of sun-beaten wood porches."
"The hormones made them think somewhat magically, because they knew they were changing themselves..."
"Art is the lie that tells the truth." --Picasso
"J tumbled down a few stairs inside himself."
"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." --J's swim coach
"J had decided to view his classes, and his classmates, as an anthropological study. He would be the neutral, silent monitor sent to observe a strange planet of noisy misfits."
"For Manny, J was just a blank wall for him to splat his rage against and see what it looked like hanging there."
"The support group wasn't like findng a home, exactly, as Philip had espoused, but more of a garage next to the home -- somewhere kind of offset and funky, where you wanted to hang out and explore what was inside."
"J felt as if he were at the edge of one of his construction sites, staring at the deep hole in the earth that always came before the building. People forgot about the excavation once the building went up, once the shiny windows and elevators and rooftop terraces made the edifice seem so permanent, so entitled to its height and stature. But beneath the building was still the deep cut in the land that allowed for its growth..."
"What all of these real people share with J, and what they have taught me, are the ways that anger and pain implode when one's internal reality collides with an often unforgiving outside world." --from the Author's Note
"when we're lost in the madness, kindness is wisdom" --from the Acknowledgements
This is the 2nd book I've read in which a main character (THE main character) is trans. FtM and thoroughly engrossing. While I don't know that I liked J as a person or would have hung out with him, I really grew to care about him and his journey by the end of the story. Plus the inner workings of a teen trans mind was handled really well (I think but then I have no trans experience).
I'd highly recommend this book, especially if you know anyone who is transitioning. It might help you understand how they feel.
I'd highly recommend this book, especially if you know anyone who is transitioning. It might help you understand how they feel.
There's a time in every person's life when they aren't quite sure who they are. For some, this is a time of finding the path they will travel in life. Come along with J on a journey of self discovery.
Beam, C. (2012). I am J. New York, NY: Little Brown Books.\
This book would be a good one to display as part of a unit on inclusion, anti-bullying, or during a LGBT pride week.
Booklist starred 12/01/10
Publishers Weekly 01/31/11
Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books starred 02/01/11
School Library Journal 02/01/11
Horn Book 03/01/11
Teacher Librarian 02/01/12
Kirkus Reviews starred 02/01/11
Wilson's Senior High School 10/01/11
Beam, C. (2012). I am J. New York, NY: Little Brown Books.\
This book would be a good one to display as part of a unit on inclusion, anti-bullying, or during a LGBT pride week.
Booklist starred 12/01/10
Publishers Weekly 01/31/11
Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books starred 02/01/11
School Library Journal 02/01/11
Horn Book 03/01/11
Teacher Librarian 02/01/12
Kirkus Reviews starred 02/01/11
Wilson's Senior High School 10/01/11
J was born a girl (Jennifer), but has always felt like a boy. At the age of 17, J feels betrayed by his body and his best friend, Melissa, after an awkward confrontation that leaves J feeling alone and confused. His parents are not helpful; his father is often absent and his mother has trouble accepting the fact that J does not want to be a girl. In order to find peace of mind, J decides to drop-out of his high school and enroll in a special high school for gay and transgender teenagers. He also makes the decision to begin testosterone treatments, but unfortunately he cannot receive the treatments without parental consent since he is under 18. Despite his disappointment in having to wait for testosterone, J is encouraged by a number of helpful characters he meets during his time of transition, and learns to never give up on his quest to find himself.
Readers of young adult fiction may enjoy this coming-of-age story. Universal themes including the yearning to be accepted by friends and family, self-realization, and occasional heart break are present in I Am J. It is also a book that may be useful in teaching populations about transgender issues, or helping transgender youth find a relatable character in J.
Readers of young adult fiction may enjoy this coming-of-age story. Universal themes including the yearning to be accepted by friends and family, self-realization, and occasional heart break are present in I Am J. It is also a book that may be useful in teaching populations about transgender issues, or helping transgender youth find a relatable character in J.
challenging
funny
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I'm always looking for YA with queer protagonists to recommend to my high school students, and this book leaves me really on the fence. By the last page, I'd say the story is pretty affirming, has a nice coming-of-age arc, and shows a diversity of reactions to a trans kid coming out, all of which characters exhibit growth over the course of the novel. But. The first third of this book is just a torturous reading experience -- every moment of the narrator's life is basically agony. While I don't doubt the truth of that pain for some teens, I don't know that I'd want to hand a struggling kid this book and have to cross my fingers that they made it to the part of the book where J has any glimmer of hope or happiness. There's also a fair bit of misogyny and homophobia in the first act that just sort of slips away, never ultimately to be challenged or reckoned with, which is too bad, because those would be rich topics to tackle through the eyes of a trans boy. Overall, though, I sped through I am J in three days, and don't regret it.
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated