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I LOVED this book. This is the book I needed as a teenager. This book is so important. There is finally a character that understands exactly what I was feeling when I was growing up. I knew things were off, I knew that I was different, but I knew I wasn’t gay. I also have/had anger at being called gay. It dismisses my identity. I am not a gay man. I am not a lesbian. I am transsexual. That is something that J battles with. It can easily be read as being homophobic, but it makes perfect sense in this case. J is not saying being gay is wrong or bad, but he is tired of his identity being erased and assumed by others. To this day I still get mad when I am called gay. Most of my friends are gay and wonderful people, but I am not gay. I am not straight either, which is another thing J had to battle with. He knew he liked girls, but he was learning so much about the queer community that it overloaded him. He didn’t know how to identify. I have yet to see a book that captures these feelings so perfectly. I was sad to see so many reviews rating this book poorly for being homophobic. I can see where it is read that way, J is pretty disgruntled about being labeled a lesbian. There is that possibility for homophobia.
J not only has to figure out coming out to his family and friends, but he has to deal with a best friend that is leading him on and his first real romantic encounter with someone who doesn’t know him. The scene with Melissa, when she is asleep, is pretty damn creepy. From the way the rest of the book goes, I started to doubt that Melissa was asleep. She was very manipulative and controlling. She often used J for her own advancement, treated him badly, and was just overall a bad person. Do I think this excuses J’s behavior? No. He should never had made a move on someone like that. He did not have her consent. Does he learn his lesson? No. He is pretty ignorant that what he did was wrong, which fits a straight cismale pretty well. It also fits many people who don’t see consent as valuable (I can tell you stories about asexual people who claimed since they were asexual it wasn’t sex so they didn’t need permission and their victims who didn’t know how to handle it). Will this behavior be corrected as J gets further into the queer community? Probably not. There are a lot of consent issues with the queer community, especially the gay male community. There is a problem of consent in every community, to be fair.
The feelings J has as he is coming out, the way the feeling of being called by his birth name/dead name, the way he feels when he is called she or daughter. It is all so perfectly written. It is like Beam wrote about me at 15. I was an angry mess. I was trying everything I could to transition, but couldn’t handle the wait. J may have been older, but in trans years we were the same age. J had Zak, I had Tony (sorry, not sorry for name dropping). J was much luckier to have the option of going to a queer high school. New York has one of the few schools for queer youth in the county. J had a lot more access to transitioning that many other trans people do. Transitioning for him was pretty easy. He had some hurdles, but they were possible to get over. People in Kansas, for example, have the added hurdle of finding a therapist that will do therapy and then trying to find a doctor who prescribe hormones. In California, it is an informed consent state. You just have to say you are aware of the risks and you have started hormones. It is that easy. So everyone faces a different battle, but one thing I have found that is consistent is that the first T shot, if done by a medical professional, is done in the butt. J is the only one I have heard of getting the shot in his leg. The leg is where a lot of guys self-inject. So it isn’t dangerous to do it there or anything, but it would have been much more intense if it was done in the butt. J would have had to face body image issues more to expose himself like that. It would have added more depth.
I can go on forever about how I feel about this book and still just be focusing on J. Beam obviously knows what she is talking about. I am thankful she is helping kids like J, kids like who I was. The world needs more Beams and Tonys.
I LOVED this book. This is the book I needed as a teenager. This book is so important. There is finally a character that understands exactly what I was feeling when I was growing up. I knew things were off, I knew that I was different, but I knew I wasn’t gay. I also have/had anger at being called gay. It dismisses my identity. I am not a gay man. I am not a lesbian. I am transsexual. That is something that J battles with. It can easily be read as being homophobic, but it makes perfect sense in this case. J is not saying being gay is wrong or bad, but he is tired of his identity being erased and assumed by others. To this day I still get mad when I am called gay. Most of my friends are gay and wonderful people, but I am not gay. I am not straight either, which is another thing J had to battle with. He knew he liked girls, but he was learning so much about the queer community that it overloaded him. He didn’t know how to identify. I have yet to see a book that captures these feelings so perfectly. I was sad to see so many reviews rating this book poorly for being homophobic. I can see where it is read that way, J is pretty disgruntled about being labeled a lesbian. There is that possibility for homophobia.
J not only has to figure out coming out to his family and friends, but he has to deal with a best friend that is leading him on and his first real romantic encounter with someone who doesn’t know him. The scene with Melissa, when she is asleep, is pretty damn creepy. From the way the rest of the book goes, I started to doubt that Melissa was asleep. She was very manipulative and controlling. She often used J for her own advancement, treated him badly, and was just overall a bad person. Do I think this excuses J’s behavior? No. He should never had made a move on someone like that. He did not have her consent. Does he learn his lesson? No. He is pretty ignorant that what he did was wrong, which fits a straight cismale pretty well. It also fits many people who don’t see consent as valuable (I can tell you stories about asexual people who claimed since they were asexual it wasn’t sex so they didn’t need permission and their victims who didn’t know how to handle it). Will this behavior be corrected as J gets further into the queer community? Probably not. There are a lot of consent issues with the queer community, especially the gay male community. There is a problem of consent in every community, to be fair.
The feelings J has as he is coming out, the way the feeling of being called by his birth name/dead name, the way he feels when he is called she or daughter. It is all so perfectly written. It is like Beam wrote about me at 15. I was an angry mess. I was trying everything I could to transition, but couldn’t handle the wait. J may have been older, but in trans years we were the same age. J had Zak, I had Tony (sorry, not sorry for name dropping). J was much luckier to have the option of going to a queer high school. New York has one of the few schools for queer youth in the county. J had a lot more access to transitioning that many other trans people do. Transitioning for him was pretty easy. He had some hurdles, but they were possible to get over. People in Kansas, for example, have the added hurdle of finding a therapist that will do therapy and then trying to find a doctor who prescribe hormones. In California, it is an informed consent state. You just have to say you are aware of the risks and you have started hormones. It is that easy. So everyone faces a different battle, but one thing I have found that is consistent is that the first T shot, if done by a medical professional, is done in the butt. J is the only one I have heard of getting the shot in his leg. The leg is where a lot of guys self-inject. So it isn’t dangerous to do it there or anything, but it would have been much more intense if it was done in the butt. J would have had to face body image issues more to expose himself like that. It would have added more depth.
I can go on forever about how I feel about this book and still just be focusing on J. Beam obviously knows what she is talking about. I am thankful she is helping kids like J, kids like who I was. The world needs more Beams and Tonys.
Oh, my lord. Where to start. I Am J is the coming of age tale of J, as he comes to terms with his gender identity. J uses his frustration and the prejudice he faces as justification for being a complete and total jerk. The whole plot involves J starting drama with his friends and family. Though this book is heavily about the transgender story and I can't speak to how well it reflects that, I will say there was plenty of other problematic material that turned me off.
First off, the best friend, Melissa, that up and "deserts" him does so after J kisses her while she's asleep, against her will. She kicks J out of her house and in an email tells him she needs some space afterwards. It's mentioned "If J was a real boy, it would be rape," which I have serious issue with. Just because J is biologically female-- and even if he identified that way as well-- kissing someone without their consent is still sexual assault. Women don't get excused from that behaviour simply for being women. Regardless, Melissa forgives him and they're friends again, despite J never showing remorse for what he did.
The book was also littered with homophobia, as well as some biphobia. J repeatedly stresses how being compared to a lesbian is "awful" and the "worst thing ever." I understand that he wants to be seen as a man, not a butch woman, but the way it was handled was incredibly hurtful. Moreso, during a classroom scene a biphobic comment is expressed by one of the kids: "For reals, this poet shoulda picked men or women or prostitutes. Bisexual's nasty." The other kids all agree and the teacher does nothing to challenge this. Meanwhile there is no representation of lesbian or bisexual characters. As well, we have a scene where J comes across a girl getting sexually exploited, and says he could care less about a bitch and leaves. Finally, after his parents express their love and support for what he's going through, J proceeds to run away and refuses to talk with them. When his mother sits him down to talk about his transition, she tells him that though she doesn't understand, she still loves him. Apparently that isn't good enough as J proceeds to cut contact with her for the most part. All of this and more made it incredibly difficult to find sympathy for J.
Not just in the plot elements, but in every scene J finds some way to be overly selfish, rude, or aggressive in an attempt to be more "masculine." I find this incredibly damaging, as it seemed to reduce being a man to only negative traits. Melissa is quite obnoxious and uses J throughout the book. She is a cutter and an awful representation of it. She is an attention-seeking cutter, right down to her "performance" where she cuts herself in front of an audience, yet she's somehow shocked she's sent to a psych ward afterwards. J's mom was awful for plot reasons, but those reasons could have been solved with some simple communication between J and his father. Their excuse for each other was, "Well, you didn't call either." It hardly felt realistic considering the circumstances. Meanwhile, J's father Manny is described as a complete monster by J, but that is never shown through any of his actions. If anything, he is open, communicative at times, and loving. He is ignorant, though not aggressive about it, but the fact that he calls J "Jeni" sometimes (before he even comes out) makes him some sort of monster.
The writing itself was very bland and clipped. Most sentences were short and to the point, often leaving scenes feeling abrupt. It's rare to say, but this story would have made a lot more sense told from first person point of view rather than third. J begins the book by seeing himself as a "head without a body," and after his assault on Melissa, decides to accept himself as a man. Yet the pronouns are 'he' from the beginning of the book, and though I suppose this is suppose to illustrate that J always had been a man, it just felt off with the narrative. The writing also jumps back and forth in time, often mid-scene, which can be a bit confusing. The flashbacks were incredibly prevalent and were often used to reinforce the scene currently taking place, which gave the sense of convenience. For example, we see flashbacks of Melissa and J's history right before the kiss, and we see flashbacks of why J hates swimming now mid-argument with mom, etc. etc. It's a version of telling through flashbacks instead of working that information organically into the narrative.
All in all, 1/5 stars. A character driven story with horribly unlikable characters.
First off, the best friend, Melissa, that up and "deserts" him does so after J kisses her while she's asleep, against her will. She kicks J out of her house and in an email tells him she needs some space afterwards. It's mentioned "If J was a real boy, it would be rape," which I have serious issue with. Just because J is biologically female-- and even if he identified that way as well-- kissing someone without their consent is still sexual assault. Women don't get excused from that behaviour simply for being women. Regardless, Melissa forgives him and they're friends again, despite J never showing remorse for what he did.
The book was also littered with homophobia, as well as some biphobia. J repeatedly stresses how being compared to a lesbian is "awful" and the "worst thing ever." I understand that he wants to be seen as a man, not a butch woman, but the way it was handled was incredibly hurtful. Moreso, during a classroom scene a biphobic comment is expressed by one of the kids: "For reals, this poet shoulda picked men or women or prostitutes. Bisexual's nasty." The other kids all agree and the teacher does nothing to challenge this. Meanwhile there is no representation of lesbian or bisexual characters. As well, we have a scene where J comes across a girl getting sexually exploited, and says he could care less about a bitch and leaves. Finally, after his parents express their love and support for what he's going through, J proceeds to run away and refuses to talk with them. When his mother sits him down to talk about his transition, she tells him that though she doesn't understand, she still loves him. Apparently that isn't good enough as J proceeds to cut contact with her for the most part. All of this and more made it incredibly difficult to find sympathy for J.
Not just in the plot elements, but in every scene J finds some way to be overly selfish, rude, or aggressive in an attempt to be more "masculine." I find this incredibly damaging, as it seemed to reduce being a man to only negative traits. Melissa is quite obnoxious and uses J throughout the book. She is a cutter and an awful representation of it. She is an attention-seeking cutter, right down to her "performance" where she cuts herself in front of an audience, yet she's somehow shocked she's sent to a psych ward afterwards. J's mom was awful for plot reasons, but those reasons could have been solved with some simple communication between J and his father. Their excuse for each other was, "Well, you didn't call either." It hardly felt realistic considering the circumstances. Meanwhile, J's father Manny is described as a complete monster by J, but that is never shown through any of his actions. If anything, he is open, communicative at times, and loving. He is ignorant, though not aggressive about it, but the fact that he calls J "Jeni" sometimes (before he even comes out) makes him some sort of monster.
The writing itself was very bland and clipped. Most sentences were short and to the point, often leaving scenes feeling abrupt. It's rare to say, but this story would have made a lot more sense told from first person point of view rather than third. J begins the book by seeing himself as a "head without a body," and after his assault on Melissa, decides to accept himself as a man. Yet the pronouns are 'he' from the beginning of the book, and though I suppose this is suppose to illustrate that J always had been a man, it just felt off with the narrative. The writing also jumps back and forth in time, often mid-scene, which can be a bit confusing. The flashbacks were incredibly prevalent and were often used to reinforce the scene currently taking place, which gave the sense of convenience. For example, we see flashbacks of Melissa and J's history right before the kiss, and we see flashbacks of why J hates swimming now mid-argument with mom, etc. etc. It's a version of telling through flashbacks instead of working that information organically into the narrative.
All in all, 1/5 stars. A character driven story with horribly unlikable characters.
I really wanted to like this book because there aren't many YA books about transguys, but I haaaaated J. He was a misogynistic asshole, and while I appreciated his struggle with gender identity and beginning the process of transitioning, I could not abide the stuff he said to the women in his life.
I also felt like most of the female characters were woefully underdeveloped. In fact, J was really the only fully-developed character and he was a jerk.
I also felt like most of the female characters were woefully underdeveloped. In fact, J was really the only fully-developed character and he was a jerk.
This book probably helped some people 10 years ago when there was so little trans representation, but there are so many better things to read now that aren’t full of misogyny and homophobia.
You know, I'm giving this four out of five stars, but really it's four and a half or four and three-quarters. The last little nagging lack of star comes from the fact that it feels a wooden in the prose and didactic... but in a really good way. And I can't even remember the last time I thought something like that. I'm passing my borrowed ARC along to a teen reader friend who's FTM, and I'm also hoping that he'll pass it on to some other young transguys he know for their reviews. I'm curious to see what they think because I don't know how much of my appreciation for this book comes from my being old - well, 31 - but I hope they find value in it where I do.
This isn't the polished review it ought to be, but it is my fresh-off-the-presses thoughts.
For me, the pros of this book far outweigh the cons, which is a slightly heavy-handed awkwardness and some pieces that need more fleshing out.
Things I loved:
- J is temperamental, unsure of the questions and the answers, self-centered, and has little perspective or ability to look beyond the moment, and that is TOTALLY believable to me.
- The pronouns - nicely done from the get-go!
- The setting - smart!
- Chanelle! It would have been so easy to make her the wiser, perfect, older voice. She's super smart and a mentor/friend. (OH MY GOD, SHE READS RITA DOVE AND WRITES SPRUNG RHYTHM. MAYBE THAT PART ISN'T TOTALLY REALISTIC BUT I AM DELIGHTED) But like J, despite the clunkiness, she seemed real, imperfect, young in her perspective and decisions. I totally believed in the core of her as a character - or at least I believed that her voice came from a real teen, somewhere.
Most of all, and this is why I want this book in every library and GSA, the INFORMATION. Oh my gosh, when Chanelle calls and asks about the dorms and bathrooms? Could you model it any better? Information about T! Unrealistically high expectations! Binders! Shelters and resources! Bathrooms! This is a book that I think holds a lot more value as a mirror than a window: there is so much good information, well-presented, that is sorely needed and very, very rare. I think a lot of the response to this one will be lukewarm, from cisgendered, mostly straight readers, saying "now I know more about things that face transgender teens," and that's fine. But, whatever, that's what Julie Anne Peters is for*. This is a whole different thing - not an issue book but an information book. I don't care if it is too clunky to change minds or provide a window for straight readers; I care deeply that it provides good information in an accessible form for kids that may desperately need it.
This friend of mine, newly coming out and grappling with his gender identity and not sure where to go for information, went to his gym teacher and asked if she had any books about "gay stuff." She sent him to the librarian, whom she tipped off in advance so that there were books waiting in a bag waiting for him behind the desk. This was last year. He's web-savvy. He's smart. And he still turned to books (and a visibly queer adult) as the first/best source of information. I wish this book had been in that pile. I wish I'd been that librarian.
One more thing: although I think that I am J won't make mainstream lists as an evocative, powerful crossover read, it still absolutely tugged at my heart. I sat in a restaurant for an hour after I'd finished eating because I wanted to know what happened next. I gasped several times, I got teary, my jaw dropped a few times. I had quibbles** but I believed it. It's not dry by any means. I feel totally inadequate to express how very, very valuable and powerful the information bookness of it is. I want to see this on the Rainbow List and every GLBTQ book list for years.
*For the record, I think this is what Julie Anne Peters does poorly. If she did THIS, I would be a fan.
**Quibbles:
-I know what Aggressives are - do teen readers outside of NYC, even queer teens?
-I wish the relationships with the parents and the other characters had been more developed.
-Zak's quick recovery from his top surgery. Really?
-Not much space or discussion of identities that fall outside the gender binary: off the top of my head, I remember that the support group represents the spectrum, but I can't remember a loud/visible genderqueer character.
This isn't the polished review it ought to be, but it is my fresh-off-the-presses thoughts.
For me, the pros of this book far outweigh the cons, which is a slightly heavy-handed awkwardness and some pieces that need more fleshing out.
Things I loved:
- J is temperamental, unsure of the questions and the answers, self-centered, and has little perspective or ability to look beyond the moment, and that is TOTALLY believable to me.
- The pronouns - nicely done from the get-go!
- The setting - smart!
- Chanelle! It would have been so easy to make her the wiser, perfect, older voice. She's super smart and a mentor/friend. (OH MY GOD, SHE READS RITA DOVE AND WRITES SPRUNG RHYTHM. MAYBE THAT PART ISN'T TOTALLY REALISTIC BUT I AM DELIGHTED) But like J, despite the clunkiness, she seemed real, imperfect, young in her perspective and decisions. I totally believed in the core of her as a character - or at least I believed that her voice came from a real teen, somewhere.
Most of all, and this is why I want this book in every library and GSA, the INFORMATION. Oh my gosh, when Chanelle calls and asks about the dorms and bathrooms? Could you model it any better? Information about T! Unrealistically high expectations! Binders! Shelters and resources! Bathrooms! This is a book that I think holds a lot more value as a mirror than a window: there is so much good information, well-presented, that is sorely needed and very, very rare. I think a lot of the response to this one will be lukewarm, from cisgendered, mostly straight readers, saying "now I know more about things that face transgender teens," and that's fine. But, whatever, that's what Julie Anne Peters is for*. This is a whole different thing - not an issue book but an information book. I don't care if it is too clunky to change minds or provide a window for straight readers; I care deeply that it provides good information in an accessible form for kids that may desperately need it.
This friend of mine, newly coming out and grappling with his gender identity and not sure where to go for information, went to his gym teacher and asked if she had any books about "gay stuff." She sent him to the librarian, whom she tipped off in advance so that there were books waiting in a bag waiting for him behind the desk. This was last year. He's web-savvy. He's smart. And he still turned to books (and a visibly queer adult) as the first/best source of information. I wish this book had been in that pile. I wish I'd been that librarian.
One more thing: although I think that I am J won't make mainstream lists as an evocative, powerful crossover read, it still absolutely tugged at my heart. I sat in a restaurant for an hour after I'd finished eating because I wanted to know what happened next. I gasped several times, I got teary, my jaw dropped a few times. I had quibbles** but I believed it. It's not dry by any means. I feel totally inadequate to express how very, very valuable and powerful the information bookness of it is. I want to see this on the Rainbow List and every GLBTQ book list for years.
*For the record, I think this is what Julie Anne Peters does poorly. If she did THIS, I would be a fan.
**Quibbles:
-I know what Aggressives are - do teen readers outside of NYC, even queer teens?
-I wish the relationships with the parents and the other characters had been more developed.
-Zak's quick recovery from his top surgery. Really?
-Not much space or discussion of identities that fall outside the gender binary: off the top of my head, I remember that the support group represents the spectrum, but I can't remember a loud/visible genderqueer character.
3.5
Ever since he was a small child, J has known that he's a boy...it was just a terrible mistake that he was born female. As he approaches his 18th birthday, the time has come to find out if others, including his Puerto Rican mother, Jewish father, and self-harming best friend Melissa, will be able to accept him for the man he really is.
This is a good addition to the slim canon of trans teen fiction. Beam's secondary characters are realistic and flawed, and J - taciturn, grimly single-minded, and not overly-self aware - is different from a lot of other teen protagonists.
Good choice for teens interested in gender issues, GLBT fiction, and those who are tired of reading about the problems of rich suburban white girls.
Ever since he was a small child, J has known that he's a boy...it was just a terrible mistake that he was born female. As he approaches his 18th birthday, the time has come to find out if others, including his Puerto Rican mother, Jewish father, and self-harming best friend Melissa, will be able to accept him for the man he really is.
This is a good addition to the slim canon of trans teen fiction. Beam's secondary characters are realistic and flawed, and J - taciturn, grimly single-minded, and not overly-self aware - is different from a lot of other teen protagonists.
Good choice for teens interested in gender issues, GLBT fiction, and those who are tired of reading about the problems of rich suburban white girls.
This was one of the first books I read that showed the trans experience. When I first read it, I saw it as an important story and I definitely appreciated seeing a trans character in a YA book. Over time and with more knowledge of trans issues, I am not as excited about the book so I have revised my rating down.
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Gut Instinct Rating - 4
Story Line - 5
Writing Style - 3.5
Characters - 4.5
Excitement Factor - 3
Believability for type and topics - 5
Similarity to other books - 5
Dust Jacket Art - 4
Title Relevance - 5
When J struggles with her gender identity, J starts to make changes, from his appearance, to his personality - J becomes he in mind and soul. But he struggles with the ability to become a male by way of hormone levels and body parts.
You may like this book if you like the following sub-genres:
GBLT
Transgender Stories
Coming of Age
Identity
This book wasn't fabulous, and I won't remember a week from now what all happened. But what I do know is that this was an excellent introduction to the GBLT, specifically the trans community. I would've only given this 4-stars, so I'm not surprised that my overall rating was a 4.33. I will only briefly discuss this book because I think it's something I will be recommending often for those questioning their gender, or who may be struggling with their identity and how transgender means different things.
The story line was great. The author (which she discusses in her author notes at the end) had first-hand experience, and research regarding transitioning and the transgender community. I was nervous this would be written out of perspective, so I was really pleased that there was background information.
This was her first fiction work, and it was (honestly) apparent. The writing style was long-winded. It felt more like a memoir than work of fiction, which just isn't something I enjoy. The chapters were like, 20 pages long with lots of 'chapter' breaks. And I would've rather seen smaller chapters that were noted by a moment/event, etc. I also noticed that there were flashbacks but it wasn't always clear when those started or stopped. It wasn't really clear how much time elapsed from start to finish, either. I mean, we had markers, but we went from Christmas to Spring in what felt like a few pages.
The story itself wasn't exciting, but it was a great story with a unique starting-and-stopping point (although, I would've been happier with less fluff and more about J's experience). It was a boring story overall with "highlight" moments. Which leads to character development. It was really well done, but being transgender, and starting the transitioning process, that effects everyone in that person's life - friends, coworkers, fellow students, family. I would've loved to see a bit more, especially from J's parents. I'm not sure if the author wanted to keep it isolated to J, but it would've been valuable to see their individual growth stories. I also found Melissa's character incredibly annoying, which was one of the main characters, so I would've liked less of her nonsense and more of her relationship with J, as female, and J, as male.
Gut Instinct Rating - 4
Story Line - 5
Writing Style - 3.5
Characters - 4.5
Excitement Factor - 3
Believability for type and topics - 5
Similarity to other books - 5
Dust Jacket Art - 4
Title Relevance - 5
When J struggles with her gender identity, J starts to make changes, from his appearance, to his personality - J becomes he in mind and soul. But he struggles with the ability to become a male by way of hormone levels and body parts.
You may like this book if you like the following sub-genres:
GBLT
Transgender Stories
Coming of Age
Identity
This book wasn't fabulous, and I won't remember a week from now what all happened. But what I do know is that this was an excellent introduction to the GBLT, specifically the trans community. I would've only given this 4-stars, so I'm not surprised that my overall rating was a 4.33. I will only briefly discuss this book because I think it's something I will be recommending often for those questioning their gender, or who may be struggling with their identity and how transgender means different things.
The story line was great. The author (which she discusses in her author notes at the end) had first-hand experience, and research regarding transitioning and the transgender community. I was nervous this would be written out of perspective, so I was really pleased that there was background information.
This was her first fiction work, and it was (honestly) apparent. The writing style was long-winded. It felt more like a memoir than work of fiction, which just isn't something I enjoy. The chapters were like, 20 pages long with lots of 'chapter' breaks. And I would've rather seen smaller chapters that were noted by a moment/event, etc. I also noticed that there were flashbacks but it wasn't always clear when those started or stopped. It wasn't really clear how much time elapsed from start to finish, either. I mean, we had markers, but we went from Christmas to Spring in what felt like a few pages.
The story itself wasn't exciting, but it was a great story with a unique starting-and-stopping point (although, I would've been happier with less fluff and more about J's experience). It was a boring story overall with "highlight" moments. Which leads to character development. It was really well done, but being transgender, and starting the transitioning process, that effects everyone in that person's life - friends, coworkers, fellow students, family. I would've loved to see a bit more, especially from J's parents. I'm not sure if the author wanted to keep it isolated to J, but it would've been valuable to see their individual growth stories. I also found Melissa's character incredibly annoying, which was one of the main characters, so I would've liked less of her nonsense and more of her relationship with J, as female, and J, as male.
What began as a rather didactic novel became really engrossing for me. The author is a little too careful to touch each area of the transgender experience, but in the end I couldn't put it down.
