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Reviews tagging 'Rape'
Ending the Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism, and Agender Identity by Michael Paramo
3 reviews
morebedsidebooks's review
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia, Colonisation, and Racism
Minor: Ableism, Slavery, Transphobia, Sexism, Fatphobia, Genocide, Rape, and Homophobia
theaceofpages's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
"Asexual, aromantic, and agender people are tasked with justifying ourselves because, in one sense or another, we are viewed as impossible. Given how deeply embedded these beliefs are, I have found that the people who we reveal our identities to often embark on a pursuit to find a ‘real’ reason for our identities rather than to accept the uncomfortable possibilities that asexuality, aromanticism, and agenderness create."
As someone who belongs to all three identities that this book is about, I was incredibly excited when I saw it pop up. I mean, books about any of them are incredibly rare (asexuality less so - I have actually seen books on it while I haven't really seen any about the other two identities). Let alone one about all three! I knew I just had to read it. When I read the about the author section at the start I was even more excited - so many similarities!
I'll start off by saying that this book is maybe a bit more academic than the other asexual books out there. Not to the point that it's not accessible, but I know some people don't particularly enjoy that kind of tone. I, however, liked it as it helped to convey quite a few important messages in a serious way - something the commuity needs as our struggles are often not taken seriously. I kept finding myself nodding along with what I was reading and having moments of shock as I saw just how far some of the messages we still hear were taken historically (e.g. classifying people as being unable to experience romantic attraction (a new western construct that hadn't even been "explained" to them) to justify slavery, genocide and all kinds of attrocities during colonial times. While maybe not as extreme anymore, the dehuminasation of aros definitely continues as apparently the lack of romantic love makes us robots somehow? Even though most of us still expreince a variety of other loves and cares).
The book starts off with a broader view looking at the kinds of attraction, and looking at how all three idenities (although especially aro and ace) are seen as impossible and how people try explain them away (e.g. too young or old - never the right age to just be any apparently, inexperienced, shy, disability, coping mechanism to deal with the fact that you are alone, closeted gay, etc). I'm not out to many people and I have somehow experienced nearly all of them - the author really hits the nail on the head when they say that we aren't allowed to simply exist in the same way other identies are - it's usually seen as a fault to be fixed.
I think the strongest chapter was the on on being aromantic. It delves into the colonial roots of arophobia and explores some really interesing ideas. Although I didn't love the "aromantic love poems" section. I didn't enjoy the poetry (which was mostly found between sections in and between chapters) in general though. It just didn't do anything for me or enhance my experience. But I know poetry is subjective and it can be skipped easily if you don't like it. The weakest chapter was the one on agender people. It was made up of a series of notes and while definitely still interesting, it didn't feel quite as fleshed out or complete as the other chapters.
Although I loved the book overall, I do wish it had a chapter about how the identies intersect, because they do, at least for me. I know it hasn't been explored much, but I find it interesting, especially the intersaction of being agender (or some other kind of gender non-conforming, although that's not what the book is about) and being aro/ace. I would have loved to have seen some discussions about these different identies feed into each other and how they don't. I think it would have made for a fascunating last chapter, even if it had only been part of the concluson if lack of information is the reason for no such chapter.
If you are aro/ace/agedender or are intersted in any of the identities, our struggles or the way how so much aphobia (Not just arophobia!) is a holdover from colonialism, then this book is a great introduction. It covers a variety of topics with enough depth that ypu feel like you have a satisfying answer, while still leaving you curious to learn more.
I received a free copy of this book in exchage for an honest review. As always, all opinions are my own.
As someone who belongs to all three identities that this book is about, I was incredibly excited when I saw it pop up. I mean, books about any of them are incredibly rare (asexuality less so - I have actually seen books on it while I haven't really seen any about the other two identities). Let alone one about all three! I knew I just had to read it. When I read the about the author section at the start I was even more excited - so many similarities!
I'll start off by saying that this book is maybe a bit more academic than the other asexual books out there. Not to the point that it's not accessible, but I know some people don't particularly enjoy that kind of tone. I, however, liked it as it helped to convey quite a few important messages in a serious way - something the commuity needs as our struggles are often not taken seriously. I kept finding myself nodding along with what I was reading and having moments of shock as I saw just how far some of the messages we still hear were taken historically (e.g. classifying people as being unable to experience romantic attraction (a new western construct that hadn't even been "explained" to them) to justify slavery, genocide and all kinds of attrocities during colonial times. While maybe not as extreme anymore, the dehuminasation of aros definitely continues as apparently the lack of romantic love makes us robots somehow? Even though most of us still expreince a variety of other loves and cares).
The book starts off with a broader view looking at the kinds of attraction, and looking at how all three idenities (although especially aro and ace) are seen as impossible and how people try explain them away (e.g. too young or old - never the right age to just be any apparently, inexperienced, shy, disability, coping mechanism to deal with the fact that you are alone, closeted gay, etc). I'm not out to many people and I have somehow experienced nearly all of them - the author really hits the nail on the head when they say that we aren't allowed to simply exist in the same way other identies are - it's usually seen as a fault to be fixed.
I think the strongest chapter was the on on being aromantic. It delves into the colonial roots of arophobia and explores some really interesing ideas. Although I didn't love the "aromantic love poems" section. I didn't enjoy the poetry (which was mostly found between sections in and between chapters) in general though. It just didn't do anything for me or enhance my experience. But I know poetry is subjective and it can be skipped easily if you don't like it. The weakest chapter was the one on agender people. It was made up of a series of notes and while definitely still interesting, it didn't feel quite as fleshed out or complete as the other chapters.
Although I loved the book overall, I do wish it had a chapter about how the identies intersect, because they do, at least for me. I know it hasn't been explored much, but I find it interesting, especially the intersaction of being agender (or some other kind of gender non-conforming, although that's not what the book is about) and being aro/ace. I would have loved to have seen some discussions about these different identies feed into each other and how they don't. I think it would have made for a fascunating last chapter, even if it had only been part of the concluson if lack of information is the reason for no such chapter.
If you are aro/ace/agedender or are intersted in any of the identities, our struggles or the way how so much aphobia (Not just arophobia!) is a holdover from colonialism, then this book is a great introduction. It covers a variety of topics with enough depth that ypu feel like you have a satisfying answer, while still leaving you curious to learn more.
I received a free copy of this book in exchage for an honest review. As always, all opinions are my own.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Racism and Colonisation
Minor: Ableism, Rape, and Sexual assault
scarecrow's review against another edition
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.25
Paramo explores asexuality, aromanticism, and agenderness through a decolonial lens, examining the roots of the modern Western conceptions of sexuality, romantic love, and the gender binary.
Refreshing to see these topics taken seriously.
Refreshing to see these topics taken seriously.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Colonisation
Minor: Rape, Acephobia/Arophobia, Slavery, Sexism, Religious bigotry, and Homophobia
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