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spectra37's review against another edition
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
4.5
This book was so respectful and gentle about the information it imparted, as well as the stories it related, that I found myself reassured at every turn. I have a lot of doubts and questions about Christianity these days, but this book was hopeful and kind.
leelynloo's review against another edition
5.0
I liked this book way more than I thought I was going to. As a straight woman married for 10 years I didnt think it would have anything for me, but I wanted to read it to understand ways in which I can support the LGBTQ persons in my life. What I found was just really great advice and insights of relationships full stop. It also challenged the concepts of "christian" marriage I have only ever been told, while presenting ideas that are full of wisdom and richer in meaning than what is pushed in conservative circles. I cannot Express how much I enjoyed this book!
gconachan's review against another edition
5.0
For quite some time, much of the conversation around faith and sexuality has centered on theology. The focus has been on Scripture and whether or not God supports the LQBTQ community. As laws and societal views have changed, people have felt increasingly safe and boldly come out of the closet. The question becomes, “Now what?” Even if they’ve settled their theology and reconciled their identity and faith, there’s no clear road map for how to move forward, especially in romantic relationships. In Modern Kinship, David and Tino Khalaf offer just that: a road map that, rather than being a one-size-fits-all approach, suggests possibilities and paths that might be taken.
Right away, the Khalafs are honest about the limit of their story: as two cisgender gay men, theirs is but one of the many stories of queer people. They counter this with various interviews, including the voices of women, transgender people, and people of color. This helps paint a broader picture of what it means to be queer, but especially a queer person of faith.
Their own story is bold, moving, and vulnerable. Where shame might prohibit certain conversations, they boldly speak up about sex and family wounds and much in between. It’s hard not to be moved, as their story resonates with any queer person of faith. From shame in dating to the rejection of loved ones, they grieve their hardships and offer hope to heal from them. Relationships and marriage aren’t “happily ever after,” affirmed by their vulnerability; yet even so, they suggest that healthy, God-honoring relationships are possible for any queer person. Even if you aren’t religious, there is much to be gleaned from their story.
If you’re interested in others’ stories, what life could look like as a queer Christian, and how thriving, queer relationships might work, Modern Kinship is a must-read. The Khalafs’ story is refreshing, paving the way for others on similar journeys. Their voice furthers an oft-neglected and much-needed conversation, one that has long been overdue.
Right away, the Khalafs are honest about the limit of their story: as two cisgender gay men, theirs is but one of the many stories of queer people. They counter this with various interviews, including the voices of women, transgender people, and people of color. This helps paint a broader picture of what it means to be queer, but especially a queer person of faith.
Their own story is bold, moving, and vulnerable. Where shame might prohibit certain conversations, they boldly speak up about sex and family wounds and much in between. It’s hard not to be moved, as their story resonates with any queer person of faith. From shame in dating to the rejection of loved ones, they grieve their hardships and offer hope to heal from them. Relationships and marriage aren’t “happily ever after,” affirmed by their vulnerability; yet even so, they suggest that healthy, God-honoring relationships are possible for any queer person. Even if you aren’t religious, there is much to be gleaned from their story.
If you’re interested in others’ stories, what life could look like as a queer Christian, and how thriving, queer relationships might work, Modern Kinship is a must-read. The Khalafs’ story is refreshing, paving the way for others on similar journeys. Their voice furthers an oft-neglected and much-needed conversation, one that has long been overdue.
cocoonofbooks's review
5.0
4.5 stars. As Rachel Held Evans says in the foreword, the world has needed this book. Although I'm a straight cis woman in a different-gender marriage, this may still be the only "Christian relationship" book I've ever read that actually felt relevant to me. There are few guides out there for those who want a God-centered relationship that isn't based in gender complementarianism, and none others that I know of that are specifically written for LGBTQ Christians. The Khalafs are incredibly vulnerable in sharing their personal stories, both of their own relationship and of their life experiences prior to meeting, and they are also incredibly practical, digging into the nitty-gritty about things like how to navigate online dating when the dating pool for queer Christians in your geographic area may be more of a "dating puddle." The result is a book that is helpful, challenging, beautiful, and — yes — much-needed.
The audience for this book is broad, as they address not only their fellow queer Christians but also allies, pastors, and others who might benefit from their advice. I found it helpful as a way to understand what my LGBTQ siblings-in-Christ may be experiencing, but also found their general advice about marriage to be a valuable reminder about what makes a relationship last. The chapters are interspersed with interviews with those who represent parts of the LGBTQ rainbow that the Khalafs themselves do not, and they are (mostly) cognizant of the times when their advice is specific to their experience as white cis gay men and when it's broader than that. It's certainly not perfect (the editing could have been a bit stronger throughout, and I would have told them to reconsider a handful of phrases they use) but as a book that may be the first of its kind, it's a truly excellent and relatively comprehensive guide to the unique challenges and joys of LGBTQ Christian relationships. I definitely recommend this, particularly to those in that community but also to anyone who wants to be a more informed ally and to anyone who's looking for a more egalitarian guide to Christian marriage.
The audience for this book is broad, as they address not only their fellow queer Christians but also allies, pastors, and others who might benefit from their advice. I found it helpful as a way to understand what my LGBTQ siblings-in-Christ may be experiencing, but also found their general advice about marriage to be a valuable reminder about what makes a relationship last. The chapters are interspersed with interviews with those who represent parts of the LGBTQ rainbow that the Khalafs themselves do not, and they are (mostly) cognizant of the times when their advice is specific to their experience as white cis gay men and when it's broader than that. It's certainly not perfect (the editing could have been a bit stronger throughout, and I would have told them to reconsider a handful of phrases they use) but as a book that may be the first of its kind, it's a truly excellent and relatively comprehensive guide to the unique challenges and joys of LGBTQ Christian relationships. I definitely recommend this, particularly to those in that community but also to anyone who wants to be a more informed ally and to anyone who's looking for a more egalitarian guide to Christian marriage.
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