Reviews with content warning for Death of parent - Memorial

Easiest five stars I’ve ever given.

Everything about this book is quietly tender, quietly palming my cheeks like a bruise. It makes you think of what it means to love, to let go, and to change, and loving the fact that you have the option to let go and therefore change. Whether that’s for the better or worse, no one knows: what matters is there is always an option, a choice, and what’s more important is you choose and act on it.

Washington’s sentences were very clean and clear. He said a lot by not saying a lot. The dialogue was topnotch but this novel’s power lies in the quiet moments, the scenes where it seems like nothing is happening when, in fact, everything is happening. He doesn’t adorn his words and simply tells the story as it is.

As Ocean Vuong said it, “this book made me happy.”

Content Warnings

mulders's review against another edition

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reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

“That loving a person means letting them change when they need to. And letting them go when they need to. And that doesn’t make them any less of a home. Just maybe not one for you. Or only for a season or two. But that doesn’t diminish the love. It just changes forms.”

reading memorial i kept forgetting i was reading a novel and not a memoir. there is nothing formulaic about it. it just flows, like life does. a character will do something or say something and i'll wonder what in their past could have led to it, knowing i will probably never learn, and only then will i remember that their past is not real because they haven't lived before they did on this page. it makes for an interesting read, however, this lack of insight and this unfamiliarity actually created a distance between me and the characters and i didn't feel as connected or as invested in their choices and their outcomes. i felt like i will never understand them completely- true for humans, but feels incomplete in a novel. while it was mostly an enjoyable read, it felt longer than it should have, and ultimately this is not a story i think will stick with me for a long time.

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themlin666's review against another edition

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reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? N/A
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I really enjoyed this book.

I think it deserves all the notoriety it received from NPR, WaPo, Entertainment Weekly, Vanity Fair, The NY Times, etc.

I definitely recommend it to anyone, especially those who like to read books from different character's perspectives.

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lucinotlucy's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

moiracampbell23's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

Content Warnings

ollie_again's review

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

That loving a person means letting them change when they need to. And letting them go when they need to. And that doesn't make them any less of a home. Just maybe not one for you. Or only for a season or two. But that doesn't diminish the love. It just changes forms.

It baffles me that people shelve this book as a romance. Because it is not. The book starts with a relationship that is falling apart and as the title suggest the book is a memorial of that relationship and other relationships in the lives of the two central men. How it started, how it progressed, a memorial to small moments, nice or not, in those relationships. The book is not even about putting the relationship back together and the two men, Mike and Ben, are apart for most of the book. And it is as much about romantic, sexual relationships as about family relationships. And unlike in true romance, there is no guarantee how the book (and the central relationship) will end.

I was fortunate enough I was aware that this book is not a romance and I had my expectations set pretty clearly and accurately. And in the end, I quite enjoyed this book. It is not action-packed, with no particular twists or turns, and even though it is emotional it is not exactly an emotional rollercoaster either. It is very much a character study of sorts and I liked that. Surprising but a nice addition were the photographs sprinkled throughout the book.

Even though it wasn't a groundbreaking read for me, it definitely put Bryan Washington on my radar and I'll pick up whatever he comes up with next. (Quotation marks would be appreciated though.)

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