4.25 AVERAGE


I LOVE this book. The core relationship is beautiful and sweet and endearing, but the way it deals with depression and anxiety and the cyclical effect of being someone who has depression, particularly in a creative field, and watching what it does to the people around us, and how that makes the depression worse (or at least doesn't help), and feeds self-defeating impulses... Ah. Painful but so well-written. And Jude's introversion and retreating to his home when it just becomes too much and self-isolating himself for extended periods was just... It's wonderfully written and such an accurate portrayal of depression.

Great book. Great read.
challenging emotional hopeful inspiring sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
emotional hopeful medium-paced

Oh my. Sweet Jude. I almost couldn’t read this in parts; it is deeply emotional and it’s so hard for Jude to move through the world. I thought he and Faron were perfect for each other. I appreciate the author’s handling of race and mental illness. 
dark emotional fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated
emotional hopeful
emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

 I kind of don't want anyone else to read this book. Is that a strange thing to say about something I loved so much?

I knew this story would be it me when we first get introduced to Jude through Christopher's letters in Small Change. Now he's back home after his release from the hospital, his life is a mess and Jude is not really in the state of mind to make any big decisions. The exhaustion he feels at just making the slightest of efforts (eating, dressing, finding work) - I felt that. There is also a larger subplot about his past relationship that went terribly wrong which was equally harrowing to read about, especially when you can see how his depression still twists things around in his mind (that no matter what mistakes he has made, he did not deserve what he got but he cannot see it).
The story is slow, emotional; barely anything happens. But I was captivated. The way Jude's depression manifests in his life, how it influences his thoughts, how it controls his words - it was like looking in a mirror. Seeing the problems it causes in his life as well as the kind of people he had to put with was heartbreaking to read about but it also made every moment with Faron so much more precious.
And speaking of Faron. I love characters like him; who are very deliberate and present at whatever they are doing. While is the stable counterpart to Jude, he's never made out to be this all-perfect, unflappable superhuman coming in to save the day, it's just clear that he has figured out through trial and error how he wants to live his life. (P.S If you liked him, I suggest you might try Courtship: A 'Snowflake' Novel, Ibrahim Carter has many of the same qualities.)

The book has a happy ending and I could not imagine it ending any other way but I love it's not all sunshine and roses at the end and that the time skip in the epilogue was just three months. As much as I want both of them to have it all it would not have fit the overall atmosphere of the book and since depression is not something that will vanish, I feel it would have left the wrong impression if it was all wrapped up.

I also loved that we got to see more of Philly crew (Ginger and Daniel have my heart). And Christopher is still the best younger brother one could have.


(There were a few things I would have loved to come full circle from a story perspective, like the cat situation, Faron's nightmare or a longer conversation between Jude and Christopher, but lives are messy and imperfect and don't always wrap up nicely. And I feel like Jude and Faron's relationship ends up at a good stopping point for readers.)

 

Jude has major depressive disorder. Faron provides a kind of radical acceptance that makes him perfect for Jude without making him be a rescuer or a magic cure.
emotional hopeful medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

An excellent story with a realistic portrayal of depression, and a mentally healthy and validating love of the whole person because of who they are not in spite of it.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

The sequel to Small Change was a wonderful follow-up. Darker and a harder read than the first due to the nature of what Jude is dealing with (suicide attempt, anxiety, depression), but also hopeful and sweet. Loved Faron Locklear as a character, and the way they complement each other. Their respect for one another's needs is amazing to take in, and something to emulate in any relationship.

Very well done and such a wonderful way to show how people struggling with mental health are worthy of love and deserve all of the romance afforded to a neurotypical main character.