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4.25 AVERAGE
4.25 AVERAGE
Love and Battle
Wow….just wow! This was my first full length novel by Roan Parrish and she has found herself a new fan. Despite this book being the second in the Small Change series, I felt it worked well as a stand alone (in saying that I have picked up Small Change - book #1 - to read!) so if that was a reason you were thinking of not picking it up, do so anyway!!
This is so much more than a romance novel - it's a book about the realities of living with depression and anxiety, the impact this can have on family and friends and ultimately, the paralysing nature of this condition to those who live with it. And I cannot praise Roan enough for tackling a difficult issue in a genre that can often (but I know isn’t always) be full of fluff. Jude Lucen was a character that I connected with so deeply and even though I haven’t experienced depression and anxiety to the same degree that he has, some of his thoughts, his actions, his motivations I could identify with and it was gratifying to be able to empathise with his character this way. And Faron Locklear - OMG, this man is just so super-duper swoon-worthy!! His ability to innately understand what Jude needed or didn’t need, wanted or didn’t want - Faron is the man, the partner, that all people with depression and anxiety need in their life. Sure, he isn’t perfect - no one is - but I spent so much of this book in absolute awe of the things Faron did for Jude, without even being asked most of the time, that it was just so beautiful to read about.
“You don’t want to choose,†he said. “Choosing feels hard because it could always be a mistake. And if it’s a mistake and you chose it, then it’s your fault. You don’t want it to be your fault. You already feel guilty enough. You don’t want to feel any more."
The story is one that happens fluidly and naturally, it just flows and isn’t forced. As the reader, you go on the journey with Jude as he learns to live again, as he realises that life can be more than the hell he was living in with his ex in Boston, as he reconnects with his brother Christopher and forms new relationships and bonds with those around him. Being told solely from Jude’s POV was ideal for this book and as Faron was the type of man who had an fundamental honesty about him, I never felt that I was missing out by not being privy to “seeing†the story from his perspective.
I know it shouldn’t, but it does still shock me when I can find yet another new author who I absolutely love!! And Roan is now one of my must-read, one-click authors. To write with such authenticity, such emotion, such beauty - it’s definitely something I want more of!
nicandbooks rating â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸
Amazon/Goodreads rating âï¸âï¸âï¸âï¸âï¸
Wow….just wow! This was my first full length novel by Roan Parrish and she has found herself a new fan. Despite this book being the second in the Small Change series, I felt it worked well as a stand alone (in saying that I have picked up Small Change - book #1 - to read!) so if that was a reason you were thinking of not picking it up, do so anyway!!
This is so much more than a romance novel - it's a book about the realities of living with depression and anxiety, the impact this can have on family and friends and ultimately, the paralysing nature of this condition to those who live with it. And I cannot praise Roan enough for tackling a difficult issue in a genre that can often (but I know isn’t always) be full of fluff. Jude Lucen was a character that I connected with so deeply and even though I haven’t experienced depression and anxiety to the same degree that he has, some of his thoughts, his actions, his motivations I could identify with and it was gratifying to be able to empathise with his character this way. And Faron Locklear - OMG, this man is just so super-duper swoon-worthy!! His ability to innately understand what Jude needed or didn’t need, wanted or didn’t want - Faron is the man, the partner, that all people with depression and anxiety need in their life. Sure, he isn’t perfect - no one is - but I spent so much of this book in absolute awe of the things Faron did for Jude, without even being asked most of the time, that it was just so beautiful to read about.
“You don’t want to choose,†he said. “Choosing feels hard because it could always be a mistake. And if it’s a mistake and you chose it, then it’s your fault. You don’t want it to be your fault. You already feel guilty enough. You don’t want to feel any more."
The story is one that happens fluidly and naturally, it just flows and isn’t forced. As the reader, you go on the journey with Jude as he learns to live again, as he realises that life can be more than the hell he was living in with his ex in Boston, as he reconnects with his brother Christopher and forms new relationships and bonds with those around him. Being told solely from Jude’s POV was ideal for this book and as Faron was the type of man who had an fundamental honesty about him, I never felt that I was missing out by not being privy to “seeing†the story from his perspective.
I know it shouldn’t, but it does still shock me when I can find yet another new author who I absolutely love!! And Roan is now one of my must-read, one-click authors. To write with such authenticity, such emotion, such beauty - it’s definitely something I want more of!
nicandbooks rating â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸
Amazon/Goodreads rating âï¸âï¸âï¸âï¸âï¸
challenging
emotional
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
slow-paced
reread 2023
- still one of the few books that can make me cry
- I want to quote so many scenes from this omg. Like this quote from Faron that made stop and just breathe for a minute: "You don't want to choose. Choosing feels hard because it could always be a mistake. And if it's a mistake and you choose it, then it's your fault. You don't want it to be your fault, you already feel guilty enough, you don't want to feel anymore."
- currently considering how weird it would be to gift this to both of my sisters to show them I do love and appreciate them even if I suck at communicating it and if they would understand
- only a depressed person could listen to Jude going through all of this and think "this is all so true (but does not apply to me)" and isn't that ironic
- did the audiobook this time around, Greg Boudreaux did a great job
original review:
I kind of don't want anyone else to read this book. Is that a strange thing to say about something I loved so much?
I knew this story would be it me when we first get introduced to Jude through Christopher's letters in Small Change. Now he's back home after his release from the hospital, his life is a mess and Jude is not really in the state of mind to make any big decisions. The exhaustion he feels at just making the slightest of efforts (eating, dressing, finding work) - I felt that. There is also a larger subplot about his past relationship that went terribly wrong which was equally harrowing to read about, especially when you can see how his depression still twists things around in his mind (that no matter what mistakes he has made, he did not deserve what he got but he cannot see it).
The story is slow, emotional; barely anything happens. But I was captivated. The way Jude's depression manifests in his life, how it influences his thoughts, how it controls his words - it was like looking in a mirror. Seeing the problems it causes in his life as well as the kind of people he had to put with was heartbreaking to read about but it also made every moment with Faron so much more precious.
And speaking of Faron. I love characters like him; who are very deliberate and present at whatever they are doing. While is the stable counterpart to Jude, he's never made out to be this all-perfect, unflappable superhuman coming in to save the day, it's just clear that he has figured out through trial and error how he wants to live his life. (p.s. If you liked him, I suggest you might try Courtship, Ibrahim Carter has many of the same qualities.)
The book has a happy ending and I could not imagine it ending any other way but I love it's not all sunshine and roses at the end and that the time skip in the epilogue was just three months. As much as I want both of them to have it all it would not have fit the overall atmosphere of the book and since depression is not something that will vanish, I feel it would have left the wrong impression if it was all wrapped up.
I also loved that we got to see more of Philly crew (Ginger and Daniel have my heart). And Christopher is still the best younger brother one could have.
(There were a few things I would have loved to come full circle from a story perspective, (view spoiler) but lives are messy and imperfect and don't always wrap up nicely. And I feel like Jude and Faron's relationship ends up at a good stopping point for readers.)
- still one of the few books that can make me cry
- I want to quote so many scenes from this omg. Like this quote from Faron that made stop and just breathe for a minute: "You don't want to choose. Choosing feels hard because it could always be a mistake. And if it's a mistake and you choose it, then it's your fault. You don't want it to be your fault, you already feel guilty enough, you don't want to feel anymore."
- currently considering how weird it would be to gift this to both of my sisters to show them I do love and appreciate them even if I suck at communicating it and if they would understand
- only a depressed person could listen to Jude going through all of this and think "this is all so true (but does not apply to me)" and isn't that ironic
- did the audiobook this time around, Greg Boudreaux did a great job
original review:
I kind of don't want anyone else to read this book. Is that a strange thing to say about something I loved so much?
I knew this story would be it me when we first get introduced to Jude through Christopher's letters in Small Change. Now he's back home after his release from the hospital, his life is a mess and Jude is not really in the state of mind to make any big decisions. The exhaustion he feels at just making the slightest of efforts (eating, dressing, finding work) - I felt that. There is also a larger subplot about his past relationship that went terribly wrong which was equally harrowing to read about, especially when you can see how his depression still twists things around in his mind (that no matter what mistakes he has made, he did not deserve what he got but he cannot see it).
The story is slow, emotional; barely anything happens. But I was captivated. The way Jude's depression manifests in his life, how it influences his thoughts, how it controls his words - it was like looking in a mirror. Seeing the problems it causes in his life as well as the kind of people he had to put with was heartbreaking to read about but it also made every moment with Faron so much more precious.
And speaking of Faron. I love characters like him; who are very deliberate and present at whatever they are doing. While is the stable counterpart to Jude, he's never made out to be this all-perfect, unflappable superhuman coming in to save the day, it's just clear that he has figured out through trial and error how he wants to live his life. (p.s. If you liked him, I suggest you might try Courtship, Ibrahim Carter has many of the same qualities.)
The book has a happy ending and I could not imagine it ending any other way but I love it's not all sunshine and roses at the end and that the time skip in the epilogue was just three months. As much as I want both of them to have it all it would not have fit the overall atmosphere of the book and since depression is not something that will vanish, I feel it would have left the wrong impression if it was all wrapped up.
I also loved that we got to see more of Philly crew (Ginger and Daniel have my heart). And Christopher is still the best younger brother one could have.
(There were a few things I would have loved to come full circle from a story perspective, (view spoiler) but lives are messy and imperfect and don't always wrap up nicely. And I feel like Jude and Faron's relationship ends up at a good stopping point for readers.)
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Minor: Suicide, Suicide attempt
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship
Moderate: Suicide attempt
Minor: War
How? How can you love me? How can you, who are so magnificent, love me as I am?
I love the creative milieu in which this series is set. All the tattooist, painters and musicians makes an interesting and diverse group of characters.
The series "Small Change" is set in the Middle of Somewhere universe. I absolutely loved that series and was glad that it continued in a spin off. The first book "Small Change" is MF, but I definitely recommend it to you. Roan Parrish succeeded in writing a MF book without strong gender classification and without many of the floccles that often characterize MF stories.
Since I prefer MM stories, I'm happy that I the sequel, the focus again is on a gay couple as the romantic protagonists.
In book #2 we meet Jude. Jude has fled to his hometown Philadelphia after a failed relationship and a failed suicide attempt. He has been suffering from depressipn since his teen years, and he feels like he failed every person he has been in close contact with ever since. His low self-worth and the depression makes him believe that he is a black hole that sucks in the people who loves him, in until they are drained. Even though he, on one side feels like a failed because he let his ex boyfriend treat him like shit, he uses the same flawed relationship as one of the main "proofs" that he ruins people around him.
He feels like a burden to his family, but mostly to his brother, Christopher.
We met Christopher in "Small Changed" wherein he fell in love with the coolest tattooist, Ginger. As the direct contradiction to Jude's depressive mind, Christopher is an optimistic, hopeful and extremely caring person.
What can ever balance the scales if you’re a black hole of misery that sucks in every scrap of light and turns it to your own material? You can’t climb out of a black hole if you are the hole.
Faron works at Gingers tattoo shop. He is beautiful and Jude is instantly attracted to him. But Jude's low self-esteem makes Faron unattainable to him. Well Jude thinks so. Fortunately Faron doesn't. Farin is very sensitive toward Jude and he gets Jude to relax. But at the same time he is good at taking Jude into account, he also treats him normally. For many years, Jude has become synonymous with depression and his close family is walking on their toes around him. Faron doesn't. He gives him room to be Just-Jude and not the Depressed-Jude.
It would have been easy to make Farin to Judge's ultimate opposition. The light against the darkness. But so I do not see Faron like that.
That would just have created a manic state that swings between two extremes. Two countersides - never on the same side. Faron is more the equalizing factor. He gives Jude peace and time to find himself. Allows him to see something good and beautiful in himself.
I’m not perfect. I don’t want you out of generosity. Or because I’m some kind of angel or savior. I want you because something inside you vibrates just so with something inside me..
A Lot of the MM romance books I've read in the last year centers around a character with some kind of "minor" mental disability. I don't know the real psychological terms but I'm talking about social anxiety disorders, chronich depression, sensitivity, eating disorders, PTSD or Asperger's.
I have not yet come across in a little more serious psychotic disorders, like Schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder or severe autism.
While it lends some realism to the story, it can also be too disturbing to read about or too different to connect and identify with main character with too difficult issues. And in general, it is preferable that the reader in one way or another can move beyond a mere sympathetic and empathetic approach to the protagonists of a romance novel. There must be the mitigating circumstance that allows you to imagine being in a relationship with either or both of the romantic protagonists. Not that I mean that you can NOT be in a well-functioning relationship with a mentally ill person. But I do not think there are many who really dream about and that opt for mental illness. It is something to overcome and live through, not something you choose and looks for. If the story becomes too hard and the illness too severe I'll claim that the book is more fiction than romance. But that is just my personal opinion.
Being someone who has suffered from depression several times since my teenage years, I recognize a lot of Jude's sentiments. My depressions didn't follow the same pattern and I'm not highly sensitive either, but still there are similarities. Especially in the way you see yourself and the way you think other people see you. One of the most descriptive paragraph made me cry. Because there is none as selfish as a depressive person. You know it. You hate it. But you cannot change it.
I don’t mean to be selfish but I am because it takes me so much energy to deal with my own shit sometimes that I don’t have much left over to think about other people.
Invitation to the Blues is a wonderful book. It's a slow burning romance that deals with some heavy shit. And I'm beginning to believe that Parrish is one of the best to do that.
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes