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Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'
Zal ik ooit genoeg goed genoeg zijn, helen van een door narcisme verstoorde moeder-dochterrelatie by Karyl McBride
1 review
annikjakober's review against another edition
tense
medium-paced
1.5
Today I want to talk about a book I have read in the past year. The book I am talking about is ‘Will I ever be good enough’ by Karyl McBride, PHD. It is written by a PhD who is specialized in family therapy. I had serious troubles reading this book, as I often doubted statements given by the author. I often experienced a type of generalization and stigma that the therapist has against her patients. The book officially deals about daughters that grew up with a narcissistic mother and therefore have certain toxic patterns in adulthood. The following quote put me off:
‘Don’t listen to others as you go through this process. Well-meaning friends and loved ones often say things like “Forget it already.” “You can’t undo the past- quit trying.” “Quit thinking about the past and be in the present.” Those closest to you (and some not so close) will discourage you from doing this important work because they do not understand just how important it is. They may not want to see you suffer, so they try to fix it. They don’t understand that if you don’t face this sadness, it will remain part of you forever. Do not listen to this unqualified advice. This is precisely why so many people today are projecting their feelings, misbehaving, creating crises for themselves and others, suffering from depression and anxiety, and are not being accountable for their own actions and emotions- they’re not facing the truth about their own pain. I am giving you, from personal and professional experience, the “key” to working through…’ (McBride, 2008, p.148)
There are three things that I find dangerous about this quote.
The first problem that I see, is that the author indirectly states that people that have depression or anxiety are responsible for their mental illness themselves, as they did not face their trauma and pain earlier. This is in direct contrast to scientific findings that state that depression and anxiety also have biological factors originating in the brain. This quote puts an individual with depression in a position of being blamed for their depression. I do not promote this kind of ‘victim-blaming’ and find it dangerous to state this belief without proper explanations of other factors that contribute to depression. This quote might look insightful and wise, but in my opinion, this quote might be harmful to read by a depressed individual that faces self-hate.
The second problem I have with this quote is that the author does not encourage the individual to speak with friends and loved ones about their problems, as she states that they will be not trustworthy, and she assumes how they will react. In fact, for a depressed individual, it is super important to open up to friends and family and I find this statement is discouraging individuals from doing so.
My last difficulty with this is that McBride does not encourage the individual to seek professional help and promotes her own ‘key’ to solve this. A person that suffers from severe depression should be offered more opportunities than a promoted method that she invented herself.
Those statements, I have sent to my clinical psychology supervisor and we discussed points of this book in class, coming all to the conclusion that some quotes in this book can actually cause more harm than psychological well-being in individuals.
Therefore, I would not recommend this book.
There are three things that I find dangerous about this quote.
The first problem that I see, is that the author indirectly states that people that have depression or anxiety are responsible for their mental illness themselves, as they did not face their trauma and pain earlier. This is in direct contrast to scientific findings that state that depression and anxiety also have biological factors originating in the brain. This quote puts an individual with depression in a position of being blamed for their depression. I do not promote this kind of ‘victim-blaming’ and find it dangerous to state this belief without proper explanations of other factors that contribute to depression. This quote might look insightful and wise, but in my opinion, this quote might be harmful to read by a depressed individual that faces self-hate.
The second problem I have with this quote is that the author does not encourage the individual to speak with friends and loved ones about their problems, as she states that they will be not trustworthy, and she assumes how they will react. In fact, for a depressed individual, it is super important to open up to friends and family and I find this statement is discouraging individuals from doing so.
My last difficulty with this is that McBride does not encourage the individual to seek professional help and promotes her own ‘key’ to solve this. A person that suffers from severe depression should be offered more opportunities than a promoted method that she invented herself.
Those statements, I have sent to my clinical psychology supervisor and we discussed points of this book in class, coming all to the conclusion that some quotes in this book can actually cause more harm than psychological well-being in individuals.
Therefore, I would not recommend this book.
Content Warnings
Minor: Child abuse, Mental illness, and Panic attacks/disorders
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