Scan barcode
panoramicdemon's review
4.0
To keep it simple without spoilers, it was a good thriller, hints are not obvious until the end. Minus a star for having a racist for no reason side character, and a line that can possibly read as trans phobic from the inner monologue of the main character at the end. Book would have been the same without those things.
litwithleigh's review
1.0
Thank you so so so much to my fellow bookstahoe for gifting me this book. While I didn't love it as much as you... I think we're even because you disliked my rec [b:Find Her|25644437|Find Her (Detective D.D. Warren, #9)|Lisa Gardner|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1444071262l/25644437._SY75_.jpg|45462848] LOL.
Writing: lmao/5 | Plot: L M AO/5 | Ending: scooby doo/5
SYNOPSIS
Mallory is 18 months sober when she starts babysitting Teddy. One thing about Teddy is homeboy LOVES to draw, but when his pics go from awww how cute to SOS call the police, Mallory starts to wonder what exactly is up?
MY OPINION
LMFAOOO LIVE LAFF LUV VIBES ARE DONE... GIRLWITHTHESALTYASSREVIEWS IS BACK IN FULL FORCE.
I guess this is technically "horror"? It has supernatural elements that's for sure, and if ya'll know me, I am a big scaredy cat and averse to the woo-woo. In fact I am SUCH a scaredy cat that Pirates of the Caribbean shook me to my core as a young girl. But THIS?? THIS RIGHT HERE????? Nahhhh. I've read darker/scarier/creepier shit in my previous neighbourhood's Facebook group. Now those are some psychos.
I also understand that my disbelief needed to be suspended, which I'm happy to do, but I don't even know what I was suspending it for??? Because this book gave me NOTHING but rising blood pressure. Mallory was a big dumb dumb and I actually found myself hoping she was the one getting strangled in the pic but alas, she was just a plain ole protagonist or whateva.
I simply cannot get into it without spoilers so... SPOILERS ALERT. SCROLL AGGRESSIVELY TO THE BOTTOM
- Mallory if you don't buss your ass like the Koolaid man into Teddy's bedroom... LMAO like ain't no way you're just standing there letting him have mysterieux convos with ghost Picasso and you're like HMMMMM I WONDER WAGWAN... OH WELL GOTTA FOLD THIS LAUNDRY!!!
- "Mallory" explaining why the writing is so YMCA creative writing class is absolutely hilarious. I can see Jason typing this bad boy up thinking he had the mother of all defenses. Someone probably told him the MC sounds mad immature and he was like well instead of rewriting everything what if I say this basic prose was intentional LOL. I see you .. it's like when I submit a blog to stakeholders and say FYI this is a DRAFT to cover my ass knowing damn well this is not a draft
- SoooOOOOO you're telling me you saw Teddy morph into Jimmy Neutron (big ass head, tiny body), then get his Picasso on with his eyes rolled back into his head, and the next day when lawn prince asks you: do you think Teddy is okay? your response is I HAVE NO IDEA??? LMFAOOOO GURLLLL IF YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST ONE BRAIN CELL ACTIVATED............
- Another scene that had me cackling was the seance with trump 2026 Mitzi. Homegirl was like, ideally Teddy would be right next to this scam- oops, spirit board, but 20 ft should do. I didn't know spirit boards had a 100 ft connection range like a bluetooth speaker LMAOO. electronic voice: Spirit board now connected.
- Margit's spirit having "limited powers" sent me. Who decides what level of powers you get??? Is it like a pay band system where you move up based on haunting experience? Terrorize a family. Unlock a new power. Etc etc.
- Unnecessary fat shaming. So your mom tried to help with your addiction but she was "fat" so she didn't "stand a chance"? Pardon? Apparently you need a BMI under 25 to be able to stop your child from selling ass for some oxy. Cool cool cool. And then mama dearest got her redemption story at the end, not because she repaired her relationship with Mallory, but because she wears lycra and has a fitbit and isn't a big fatty mcfat fat anymore. *major eye roll*
- When the mom says she doesn't have any attention spam for poetry so Mallory recommends HARRY FUCKING POTTER LMFAOOO ok so she can't handle 30 words per page but yeah, toss her a thicc ass NOVEL. good choice.
- After Catherine injects Mallory with heroin to stage an OD but wait! it was baking soda (don't get me started even more lmao) and Ted Sr comes in and Mallory has the gall to ask him "why are you so afraid of catherine" miss Mallory lmfao PLZ MAAM I WANT YOU TO TRY HARDER
*sigh* ok I'm gonna stop here but this book was HILARIOUS like Verity level hilarious to me.
PROS AND CONS
Pros: I've met lovely ppl on Bookstagram
Cons: I mean need I say more????
___
Check out my YouTube
Writing: lmao/5 | Plot: L M AO/5 | Ending: scooby doo/5
SYNOPSIS
Mallory is 18 months sober when she starts babysitting Teddy. One thing about Teddy is homeboy LOVES to draw, but when his pics go from awww how cute to SOS call the police, Mallory starts to wonder what exactly is up?
MY OPINION
LMFAOOO LIVE LAFF LUV VIBES ARE DONE... GIRLWITHTHESALTYASSREVIEWS IS BACK IN FULL FORCE.
I guess this is technically "horror"? It has supernatural elements that's for sure, and if ya'll know me, I am a big scaredy cat and averse to the woo-woo. In fact I am SUCH a scaredy cat that Pirates of the Caribbean shook me to my core as a young girl. But THIS?? THIS RIGHT HERE????? Nahhhh. I've read darker/scarier/creepier shit in my previous neighbourhood's Facebook group. Now those are some psychos.
I also understand that my disbelief needed to be suspended, which I'm happy to do, but I don't even know what I was suspending it for??? Because this book gave me NOTHING but rising blood pressure. Mallory was a big dumb dumb and I actually found myself hoping she was the one getting strangled in the pic but alas, she was just a plain ole protagonist or whateva.
I simply cannot get into it without spoilers so... SPOILERS ALERT. SCROLL AGGRESSIVELY TO THE BOTTOM
- Mallory if you don't buss your ass like the Koolaid man into Teddy's bedroom... LMAO like ain't no way you're just standing there letting him have mysterieux convos with ghost Picasso and you're like HMMMMM I WONDER WAGWAN... OH WELL GOTTA FOLD THIS LAUNDRY!!!
- "Mallory" explaining why the writing is so YMCA creative writing class is absolutely hilarious. I can see Jason typing this bad boy up thinking he had the mother of all defenses. Someone probably told him the MC sounds mad immature and he was like well instead of rewriting everything what if I say this basic prose was intentional LOL. I see you .. it's like when I submit a blog to stakeholders and say FYI this is a DRAFT to cover my ass knowing damn well this is not a draft
- SoooOOOOO you're telling me you saw Teddy morph into Jimmy Neutron (big ass head, tiny body), then get his Picasso on with his eyes rolled back into his head, and the next day when lawn prince asks you: do you think Teddy is okay? your response is I HAVE NO IDEA??? LMFAOOOO GURLLLL IF YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST ONE BRAIN CELL ACTIVATED............
- Another scene that had me cackling was the seance with trump 2026 Mitzi. Homegirl was like, ideally Teddy would be right next to this scam- oops, spirit board, but 20 ft should do. I didn't know spirit boards had a 100 ft connection range like a bluetooth speaker LMAOO. electronic voice: Spirit board now connected.
- Margit's spirit having "limited powers" sent me. Who decides what level of powers you get??? Is it like a pay band system where you move up based on haunting experience? Terrorize a family. Unlock a new power. Etc etc.
- Unnecessary fat shaming. So your mom tried to help with your addiction but she was "fat" so she didn't "stand a chance"? Pardon? Apparently you need a BMI under 25 to be able to stop your child from selling ass for some oxy. Cool cool cool. And then mama dearest got her redemption story at the end, not because she repaired her relationship with Mallory, but because she wears lycra and has a fitbit and isn't a big fatty mcfat fat anymore. *major eye roll*
- When the mom says she doesn't have any attention spam for poetry so Mallory recommends HARRY FUCKING POTTER LMFAOOO ok so she can't handle 30 words per page but yeah, toss her a thicc ass NOVEL. good choice.
- After Catherine injects Mallory with heroin to stage an OD but wait! it was baking soda (don't get me started even more lmao) and Ted Sr comes in and Mallory has the gall to ask him "why are you so afraid of catherine" miss Mallory lmfao PLZ MAAM I WANT YOU TO TRY HARDER
*sigh* ok I'm gonna stop here but this book was HILARIOUS like Verity level hilarious to me.
PROS AND CONS
Pros: I've met lovely ppl on Bookstagram
Cons: I mean need I say more????
___
Check out my YouTube
ash_leslie's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Had me hooked from the very beginning. Few surprises I wasn't expecting and a very satisfying ending.
sannek's review
adventurous
dark
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
gideongilmore's review
dark
mysterious
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
sareebeth's review
dark
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Transphobia, and Murder
thebriary's review
1.0
The moralizing and shitty characters were bad but the worst part was treating the reader like we were stupid.
a_randomsoul_onjourney's review against another edition
dark
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
4.75
Absolutely terrific. I loved this book. I think I'll probably write a review later, but for now that's it.
The -.25⭐ was because of the supernatural element, I mean I was exactly looking for a mystery thriller and I had initially totally discarded the idea that the book would have an actual "ghost", but it was there so maybe that was a tad-bit disappointing to me, otherwise it was great.
elamontagne17's review
dark
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0