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tinkcourtney's review against another edition
5.0
Simply brilliant
I pretty much only read MM these days, not MMF, but I would read Sidney Bell’s grocery list, so picking this up was a no-brainer. What made me put it off just a teensy bit was the anticipation of ANGST because I have to be in the right mindset for that. While I have to confess to some tears, it actually wasn’t as bad as I feared. Phew! (Yep, I’m a total wuss about angst. I have learned to accept this about myself.)
ANYHOO, I can’t remember the last time I highlighted a book this much. This author has such an amazing gift of drawing you in right away. The characters all felt so real to me—very flawed and very lovable. There were moments of humor and moments of heat and moments that felt profound and deep. This is a book that will live in my heart for years to come.
I pretty much only read MM these days, not MMF, but I would read Sidney Bell’s grocery list, so picking this up was a no-brainer. What made me put it off just a teensy bit was the anticipation of ANGST because I have to be in the right mindset for that. While I have to confess to some tears, it actually wasn’t as bad as I feared. Phew! (Yep, I’m a total wuss about angst. I have learned to accept this about myself.)
ANYHOO, I can’t remember the last time I highlighted a book this much. This author has such an amazing gift of drawing you in right away. The characters all felt so real to me—very flawed and very lovable. There were moments of humor and moments of heat and moments that felt profound and deep. This is a book that will live in my heart for years to come.
mea5s's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This is probably my favorite MMF book ever just because of the character development. I've read better MMF sex scenes, but the characters are just so awesome that I'm okay with it. The sex scenes were pretty good but I wish there was more with Cal and Zac on on one. I loved the pegging/anal sex scene. . I loved seeing Anya figure out that she really didn't know Cal. Cal was so adorably awkward and sweet and hot that I was like get me one of him. I've read this book so many times over the years that I wish kindle would tell me when I've done all of my highlights. I highlight something new every time. I love the duct tape scene, the scene at Zac's birthday, Cal taking care of the baby, Cal's broken alcohol bottle . I love how flawed all of the characters are and that despite these things I love them so much. Anya and Zac not understanding the way Cal thinks of relationships is also so realistic and kind of funny. I also believe that they all love each other and that is so rare in MMF books for me. Usually you either get good sex or believable love/characters/actual plot. With this one you get all of it :)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism
haloblues's review against another edition
4.5
Oh, gosh. I've always avoided M/F/M poly romances, because as a basically-gay man it just doesn't hold a lot of interest for me, but something about this one caught me enough for me to give it a try. I don't think I'll be actively looking for more of the genre, but God was this one worth the leap. It's one of those rare books that leaves me feeling thrown by it ending, because what am I supposed to do with myself now that it's done? The different dynamics here (Zac/Anya, Zac/Cal, Anya/Cal, Zac/Anya/Cal) were all so developed and unique and complementary to one another. I loved all of the main characters, including Anya whom I didn't expect to get so attached to, certainly not to almost an equal extent as I do to any other well-written M/M character I come across, and they were all so vivid with their own histories and flaws and ways of dealing with things. It was well-written with no errors or typos that I recall, and it's probably one of the stories that sticks in my memory despite my frequent bingeing-so-many-books-they-start-to-run-together sessions. Virtually my only complaint is that re: NSFW scenes I would've liked to see Cal bottoming for Zac for the first time, as he'd mentioned earlier he'd found himself wanting that with him and wondering what it would be like, but we did get the reverse and it's not enough of an oversight to bother me too much beyond feeling a bit like a missed bonus opportunity. Something about the writing style and flow of this one was so easy to lose myself in, particularly as the last few books I've tried have involved a lot of waning focus and stopping and starting. Respect, Sidney Bell.
Also, Cal's awkward politeness was so relatable.
Details: Alternating POVs, third-person, present tense
Favourite character: Probably Cal, but I loved all three of them
Happy ending?: Yes
Favourite quotes:
Also, Cal's awkward politeness was so relatable.
Details: Alternating POVs, third-person, present tense
Favourite character: Probably Cal, but I loved all three of them
Happy ending?: Yes
Favourite quotes:
Zac huffs, waves a hand in dismissal. "Stop teasing me. We're done with that."
"I know." She drops the act and gnaws on a lettuce stem. "We're Serious Grown-Ups."
"Cal couldn't write that. I always thought the fucked-up shit came from you."
"You're so sweet to me, baby."
He turns back to the baby, whispering to him lowly enough that all she catches is 'your mother is a devil woman'.
She should probably kick him for that, but decides not to. In truth, she finds it flattering.
"Also, I'm way more important to the band than him. I'm the front man. I stand in front."
You'd think she was trying to murder kittens instead of making a more concentrated effort to help Cal feel like he can open up a little. Honestly, Zac should be thanking her, and instead she gets this.
"You strut around on the stage gyrating like you're fucking ghosts against an imaginary wall in front of everyone. That's not important."
"Pick a movie, you bastard."
Cal smiles and politely pretends he's never seen a movie in his life and therefore can't possibly be expected to know how to choose one.
"It's alright if you don't like him. You don't have to care about him just because I do. It doesn't mean you're being a bad wife."
"What do I care about being a bad wife? I don't even like you."
"Like you fucking know anything about Tolstoy. Ten bucks says you got that off a fortune cookie."
"Pay up." She got it off Jeopardy, which she sometimes puts on in the background because PJ's crankiest days can only be soothed by two people in the whole world: Alex Trebek, and, irritatingly, Cal Keller.
"Can I give you my cock instead?" Zac asks.
"No."
"That hurts my feelings."
"I get it. He's hard to get to know. He comes across kind of--"
"Boring. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do when you're not in the room with us. I say something and he gets all stiff and polite and sits there like a lump and I want to poke him with a stick to get him to do something."
"It's not that he won't talk, though, is it?" After all, Cal had tentatively answered when she'd shown a willingness to wait. "It's more that he needs to know that you value his words."
"Yeah."
"I think I've been impatient with him. I'll do better."
"That's not only on you." Zac doesn't sound tense or tired anymore, only thoughtful. "He could probably try harder too. I think you'll be surprised how similar you are at the root once you get to know him better. You both love very fiercely. He does it by being there and giving whatever's needed, and you fight and bully and murder anything in the way, and on the surface it seems like there's nothing that's the same, but the motivation is."
She smiles and kisses his hand. "That's something to build on, at least."
Zac flushes a dull red. "You opened the box! That never would've happened if you hadn't asked me about it in the first place. Now I can't stop thinking about it, and it's driving me nuts, and I didn't even know I wanted it until you did this, but I do and I can't have it, and it's all your fault, why the hell did you have to be so--"
In a low voice, she says, "Red light, Zac."
His mouth slams closed, and he turns to stare furiously at the wall. 'Red light' is their conversational safeword, their code for 'this is about to hurt me or anger me to the point where damage is done, so think. Pause and think.' It's part of their oldest rule, the one they came up with in Paris, when they were both fucked out and sore and afraid of what they'd unleashed on each other, what they'd brought out of each other. 'We're both hot-headed,' Zac said, back in that trashed hotel bed. 'We need a way to defuse each other before we get to this.' He gestured at the room around them, and then at their own sweaty bodies.
'Are we bombs now?' she asked, and he said very seriously, 'Yes, I think so. Maybe that's the price for getting to have something this powerful.'
Zac stares out at the yard. "We can go to the liquor store after we hit your place. What are we buying, anyway?"
Cal pulls his hand back, clearing his throat. "Herradura Seleccion Suprema."
"You're pouring two hundred dollar tequila down the drain, you fucking psycho?" Zac yells. "Why don't you buy some five dollar shit or something?"
"The whole point is to remind myself that I'm strong enough to resist temptation. No one in their right mind is tempted by dirt cheap tequila."
Cal washes his hands (ignoring their trembling), and then turns to find Zac standing in front of the open pantry door. He's staring at Cal rather than searching for ingredients, though. It makes Cal's skin too tight. Cal knows where they keep their pans, and he pulls out a cookie sheet in self-defense.
PJ doesn't care about his messy humanity; he loves Cal just as he is and sometimes, on the hardest mornings, that love is the main reason why the tequila goes down the drain.
Then, a handful of months after they decided to make a go of it together, Zac's relationship with his mother imploded and Zac showed up on Cal's porch at three in the morning.
"I don't have anywhere else to go," he said, trembling and red-eyed, his lashes damp and spiky. Cal gave him the couch and a key, already questioning whether the forced proximity would cause enough friction to kill the band before it really started. Instead, through some amorphous magic Cal hadn't known could exist in the world, they became irrevocably connected under the skin.
They ease into a third week, and a fourth, and then a weekend comes when there's absolutely nothing scheduled. Cal thinks they must be about to tell him to go home for five damn minutes at least, but then Anya mentions antiquing, which is something Cal has never done. When he says so, she freaks out, and it turns out that what he must do has nothing to do with going home and everything to do with picking through other people's decrepit, smelly, abandoned old furniture.
"What's that?" Zac asks suspiciously.
Cal looks at the bag in fake surprise, as if shocked by its presence. "I don't know. It's a mystery. We should check." He glances inside, frowns, and then says to Zac, "It looks like it's a bag full of none of your business."
"I'll bet you ten bucks."
"You're a multi-millionaire. Ten bucks is embarrassing. What the hell? I'm disgusted."
"Now make that other bag of popcorn. I need it. Put it in. In. Now."
"Your popcorn talk is a lot like your sex talk."
It's quiet for a moment as Cal steals a sip of Anya's herbal tea, one big hand cupping PJ's foot in its yellow Big Bird sock, and then Zac and Anya blurt in unison, "So did you buy the tickets or not?"
Cal's eyebrow wings up, and he pointedly takes another long sip of tea, punishing them both. Zac pokes him in the side until he caves and says, "I did."
"Yes!" Anya hisses under her breath, because no amount of rubbing it in is worth getting a sleepy toddler all riled up right before bedtime. She stabs a finger in Zac's direction. "Eat it!"
Zac huffs a breath, glaring at Cal. "Really? You had to do this to me?"
"Yes, I did it to you, all to make you suffer." Cal glances heavenward as if asking for help from a higher power.
"Don't you dare try to renege either," Anya tells Zac.
Zac gives her a dirty look. "I'm offended. You're offensive. I would never. Never."
"A marriage is less about how many people are in it and more about how happy you are."
Cal's expression goes soft. "I love you both too. So much." He's super earnest about it, because he's a goober. Zac rolls his eyes, because that kind of earnestness isn't rock-and-roll at all, but he can't help that his chest goes warm and achy at the words all the same.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Sexual content, and Addiction
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Infidelity
lenahe's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
4.0
This was a nice, cozy romance. There's smut, but it's never over the top.
I don't particularly enjoy conflicts based on lack of communication, but it works in this story, because of these characters.
I don't particularly enjoy conflicts based on lack of communication, but it works in this story, because of these characters.
mommasaystoread's review against another edition
3.0
This Is Not the End was a bit of a mixed bag for me. I waffled back and forth through the whole book and finally landed somewhere in the middle. It's pretty angsty, which is kind of surprising given the lack of outside conflict. It's pretty much just these three characters plus the baby who pops in and out when it's convenient - Sorry, I don't actually know that's the reason, but it sure felt that way. First little I've ever known of to be completely out of the way without any interruption when it's time for steamy fun, and there was plenty of steamy fun. Now, I have nothing against that, but I had a hard time seeing any other connection between the characters. There is also a ton of inner monologue, and the back and forth was both irritating and emotional. I liked the emotional elements because they gave me some reason to invest in this relationship and to want it to work. Now, I realize it sounds like I didn't like much of anything about the book, but I actually did. In fact, some of the things I didn't like have elements that I did like. The lack of outside conflict allowed for more focus on these characters and the building relationship. Speaking of characters, I liked all three at least most of the time. There were times when they irritated me to no end, but I still liked them and wanted them to work. I feel like this story had so much potential that just wasn't realized. I would've liked to see more interaction between the three of them. Well, more substantial interaction like some real conversations about compromise and what it's going to take to make things work - some real discussion about feelings and life, etc. Love and lust is great, but it takes more than that for a solid, grown-up relationship. That's what I feel was missing here. On the flip side, there is plenty of steam generated between these characters, and I think Bell had the right idea. It just didn't all come across the way I'd hoped.
tragicgloom's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
relaxing
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction and Sexual content
Moderate: Alcoholism, Alcohol, and Car accident
Minor: Mental illness, Pregnancy, and Suicide