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4.14 AVERAGE
4.14 AVERAGE
I'd read the reviews and spoilers and never seemed in the right frame of mind for this book. After a run of cutesy or bad books, I girded my loins and plunged in. It has a lot of themes I hate, I could go on but you get my meaning. The ending frustrated the hell out of me, the tension isn't winded down gently taking us with it, instead we get a a jarring anti climax. Yet I have to give it 4*, it's so compellingly written it was beautiful to read, mostly.
Spoiler
starting with a loooong seperation(timelines fluctuate and couldn't seem to make its mind up as to whether it was 20 year or 30 years of seperation), torture, rape of the h, having a loving relationship with ow while the h suffered, both H and h moving on with sexual relationships with other people not to mention the 'H' being just utterly un 'H' like....
Bravo, Ms. Jacquelyn. This was an exceptional story. A tale of star-crossed lovers that suffer brutal tragedies with outstanding love, but the lows are low and the highs are high. Patrick (Poet) and Amy are a couple who have a tumultuous relationship where heartbreak almost seems certain, but you root for them–boy do you root for them. You want to grab them and send them to an abandoned island where nothing can break them apart because it seems like the universe is conspiring against them.
“She calmed me in a way no one else had ever been able to do. She was simply…everything. Both my compass and true north.”
Having read the entire series thus far, I absolutely adored getting to see Poet’s story. I loved the way it wrapped together with the first book with the story of Brenna and how she came to be along with those stories overlapping. We first meet Amy in Ireland where she’s living a not so great life with her crappy parents. She finds refuge from a lady who lives down the street, who had seen Amy suffer silently, and decided to help her. A truly wonderful woman who essentially saved Amy from a whole mess of things. It’s through this new savior that Amy meets Patrick. He’s Peg’s son, and the two of them have an instant chemistry. Even from the beginning their relationship is rocky, but their attraction to each other overrides anything else. You could say their chemistry was combustible and near implosion from the get-go.
“I wanted her to remember how she felt at that moment–loved wholeheartedly, yet perched precariously on her toes and leaning on me for balance as I controlled our movements.”
And then the story gets gritty. It gets dark and twisted, and heartbreaking. My heart hurt reading this story. I cried for them–for Amy. I cried for the circumstances that surrounded them. I could understand Amy’s choices, why she responded to things the way she did. I could understand her grief and anger, and sadness because it was so palpable throughout the story. I could also feel heartbreak for Patrick, for the things outside of his control that he was forced to deal with. He didn’t ask for the blows that came, but he was admirable throughout. He stood up for what was right even if it meant being apart from what he loved most. But as two magnets, they kept coming back to each other. At times when they needed a familiar comfort, and at times when they felt guilt.
“‘I’ve got a heartbroken girl that refuses to speak.'”
I absolutely loved this story, and it was another amazing addition to the series. Ms. Jacquelyn does not hold back. She goes there, and I appreciated that. No story is pretty. Brutal things happen every day, every where. But she writes it in such a beautiful way. Every part of the story, brutal or not, is there for a reason as it furthers the story and the people in it. Beautiful writing and a beautifully gut-wrenching story equaled me staying up so incredibly late into the early morning, and I honestly can’t wait for more in this series.
“‘…Ye were never ruined, me love, just cracked open for a bit. Took a while for ye to piece it back toget’er, but ye did it.'”
**Received an ARC in exchange for an honest review**
“She calmed me in a way no one else had ever been able to do. She was simply…everything. Both my compass and true north.”
Having read the entire series thus far, I absolutely adored getting to see Poet’s story. I loved the way it wrapped together with the first book with the story of Brenna and how she came to be along with those stories overlapping. We first meet Amy in Ireland where she’s living a not so great life with her crappy parents. She finds refuge from a lady who lives down the street, who had seen Amy suffer silently, and decided to help her. A truly wonderful woman who essentially saved Amy from a whole mess of things. It’s through this new savior that Amy meets Patrick. He’s Peg’s son, and the two of them have an instant chemistry. Even from the beginning their relationship is rocky, but their attraction to each other overrides anything else. You could say their chemistry was combustible and near implosion from the get-go.
“I wanted her to remember how she felt at that moment–loved wholeheartedly, yet perched precariously on her toes and leaning on me for balance as I controlled our movements.”
And then the story gets gritty. It gets dark and twisted, and heartbreaking. My heart hurt reading this story. I cried for them–for Amy. I cried for the circumstances that surrounded them. I could understand Amy’s choices, why she responded to things the way she did. I could understand her grief and anger, and sadness because it was so palpable throughout the story. I could also feel heartbreak for Patrick, for the things outside of his control that he was forced to deal with. He didn’t ask for the blows that came, but he was admirable throughout. He stood up for what was right even if it meant being apart from what he loved most. But as two magnets, they kept coming back to each other. At times when they needed a familiar comfort, and at times when they felt guilt.
“‘I’ve got a heartbroken girl that refuses to speak.'”
I absolutely loved this story, and it was another amazing addition to the series. Ms. Jacquelyn does not hold back. She goes there, and I appreciated that. No story is pretty. Brutal things happen every day, every where. But she writes it in such a beautiful way. Every part of the story, brutal or not, is there for a reason as it furthers the story and the people in it. Beautiful writing and a beautifully gut-wrenching story equaled me staying up so incredibly late into the early morning, and I honestly can’t wait for more in this series.
“‘…Ye were never ruined, me love, just cracked open for a bit. Took a while for ye to piece it back toget’er, but ye did it.'”
**Received an ARC in exchange for an honest review**
Oh. My. God
This book was amazing! I could not put it down. Loved the main and supporting characters and was turning the pages with baited breath, hoping for an outcome that kept seeming further and further away. So much guilt, so much angst. Bloody good show Nicole Jacquelyn ❤❤
This book was amazing! I could not put it down. Loved the main and supporting characters and was turning the pages with baited breath, hoping for an outcome that kept seeming further and further away. So much guilt, so much angst. Bloody good show Nicole Jacquelyn ❤❤
My heart aches.
And before I launch into my tirade, let me be clear that this is not a sappy, romantic love story. This shit is fucked-upness at its finest. Yet, it's amongst the most epic love stories I've ever read.
Literally, my heart was hurting as I read through the last half of this book. I finished it up before going to bed last night, have since slept, and still my heart aches over this book. It isn't always that I cry over a story; I didn't cry when Old Yeller died, but I cried like a little bitch here - not just for Amy (bless her heart), but for Poet as well.
I read the reviews of many of my fellow Goodreaders, and I gotta tell you, I don't think I read the same book as some of them did. Poet had his asshole moments, for sure, but he hadn't done anything wrong! Not initially! He did not, in fact, cheat on anybody. That's it. And from that single, solitary moment of something as natural as breathing or shitting, the lives of an army of people became forever changed, and thirty years of staunchy shit and fucked-upness would follow Poet and the love of his life.
And it broke my damn heart.
I read the reviews of lots of Poet haters; saying his actions didn't match his words, he didn't really love anyone but himself, blah blah blah... but I did not see that. When I read this book, I never, never waivered in my belief that he loved Amy with every single ounce of his being. Did he fuck up a time or two? Yes. Fuck yes, he did. Did I want to bash his teeth in with an iron skillet a time or two? Yes. Fuck yes, I did. But still, even throughout those moments, I never doubted his dedication and immense love for her. I didn't see a lying, cheating douchefuck of a man. I saw a man who loved a woman, so much, but he couldn't stand up straight, ever, for life kept bending them both over and fucking them up the ass. But he loved. God!, did he love... *sniffles*
And then there was the part where. Everybody's hating on Poet over that too, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why! What did you expect the man to do?! Clearly he was torn. Torn between his love for his wife, and his need to do what was best for his unborn child. Clearly, he battled over leaving Amy behind. Clearly, clearly anybody with a spouse and a child would have had a similar battle within themselves, and eventually settled on doing what was best for their child. And honestly, in the grand scheme of things, . It's a fucked up thing. That's it. One moment in time, made by one simple decision which meant nothing more than a one-night fuck became the catalyst for devastation.
And so, as life usually does, in spite of devastation and heartache and loss, it goes on. So the reader sees bits and chunks of various highlights interconnecting Poet and Amy's disconnected, yet always connected by that invisible string, lives. And still we hear Poet's inner thoughts and feelings, and still we know how dedicated he is to the wife he and throughout it all, we get these types of things:
I mean, we are talking, literally, YEARS later!
And no matter how many times people in his life tried to get him to move on, give up, get over it; no matter how many years - a decade at a time - passed with not so much as a peep from her or a sight of her, he still clung to his dedication to her!
And here's the thing... he doesn't just say this once or twice. This isn't a fresh wound talking. This is a fifty-year old, festering heartache, just as fresh, just as raw, just as real as day one for these people.
And then one day... sweet mother of the moon!... there is reckoning.
And then... redemption. But goddamn. It is hard won.
*chokes back a strangled sob*
This was a fantastic read. The story of love interwoven throughout is on the level of Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook, only grittier, more fucked up, and the writing was better here. (No offense to Nicholas Sparks. I like his stories, but I cannot stand his writing.)
The story here starts out a little slow, but still intriguing. At times, the Irish/Scottish accent is hard to get through. But once you're in, you're in. And once Ms. Jacquelyn opens the door (literally) on the catalyst... *shakes head* there is no going back. There were moments my angst was so high I thought I was going to break the teeth from my head. There were moments I cried tears the size of Texas. There were moments I felt the burn in the back of my throat from the bile rising. There were moments I had to set my Kindle down and just breathe for a minute. There were moments I smiled, and moments I cringed, and I could not bear to put the book down until I'd reached the end.
And before I launch into my tirade, let me be clear that this is not a sappy, romantic love story. This shit is fucked-upness at its finest. Yet, it's amongst the most epic love stories I've ever read.
"Ye were made for me. I'll never love anot'er."
Literally, my heart was hurting as I read through the last half of this book. I finished it up before going to bed last night, have since slept, and still my heart aches over this book. It isn't always that I cry over a story; I didn't cry when Old Yeller died, but I cried like a little bitch here - not just for Amy (bless her heart), but for Poet as well.
"Not much longer, my love, and I'll be there with you. I'll slay all your dragons."
I read the reviews of many of my fellow Goodreaders, and I gotta tell you, I don't think I read the same book as some of them did. Poet had his asshole moments, for sure, but he hadn't done anything wrong! Not initially! He did not, in fact, cheat on anybody.
Spoiler
He was a single man, who had a girl he liked and had kissed. That's it. Then he had sex with a different girl - for nothing more than shits and giggles, and maybe for a little revenge on a dude who needed his face bashed in.And it broke my damn heart.
I read the reviews of lots of Poet haters; saying his actions didn't match his words, he didn't really love anyone but himself, blah blah blah... but I did not see that. When I read this book, I never, never waivered in my belief that he loved Amy with every single ounce of his being. Did he fuck up a time or two? Yes. Fuck yes, he did. Did I want to bash his teeth in with an iron skillet a time or two? Yes. Fuck yes, I did. But still, even throughout those moments, I never doubted his dedication and immense love for her. I didn't see a lying, cheating douchefuck of a man. I saw a man who loved a woman, so much, but he couldn't stand up straight, ever, for life kept bending them both over and fucking them up the ass. But he loved. God!, did he love... *sniffles*
"I've loved ye for as long as I can remember," he whispered before pulling away.
And then there was the part where
Spoiler
he left to take a pregnant Moira to the US, leaving his "Mum" and his wife behind in Ireland to follow behind four days laterSpoiler
four days is generally not a long enough time that the man's world should have been able to crumble down around him"De day ye stop pushin' is de day ye no longer want me. Dat's not somet'in I ever want to happen, darlin'."
"Forgive me," he begged. "Please. Please. I love ye, only ye. Forgive me."
"No."
I didn't look at him, but I heard his sob as his head dropped to my knees.
And so, as life usually does, in spite of devastation and heartache and loss, it goes on. So the reader sees bits and chunks of various highlights interconnecting Poet and Amy's disconnected, yet always connected by that invisible string, lives. And still we hear Poet's inner thoughts and feelings, and still we know how dedicated he is to the wife he
Spoiler
hasn't lived with in thirty years"I'd had my anchor [Poet and Amy's wedding ring] touched up a few times over the years to keep it vivid, and I'd noticed the night before how faded Amy's had become. It was a good representation of our relationship. I was holding fast, and she was fading away."
I mean, we are talking, literally, YEARS later!
And no matter how many times people in his life tried to get him to move on, give up, get over it; no matter how many years - a decade at a time - passed with not so much as a peep from her or a sight of her, he still clung to his dedication to her!
"I'm incomplete wit'out her. As long as I live, I'll never give up. I can't."
And here's the thing... he doesn't just say this once or twice. This isn't a fresh wound talking. This is a fifty-year old, festering heartache, just as fresh, just as raw, just as real as day one for these people.
And then one day... sweet mother of the moon!... there is reckoning.
And then... redemption. But goddamn. It is hard won.
"Know dat I'll never live a day wit'out lovin' ye. De day I leave ye is de day dey put me in de ground."
"What if I go first?"
"I'll follow ye."
*chokes back a strangled sob*
This was a fantastic read. The story of love interwoven throughout is on the level of Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook, only grittier, more fucked up, and the writing was better here. (No offense to Nicholas Sparks. I like his stories, but I cannot stand his writing.)
The story here starts out a little slow, but still intriguing. At times, the Irish/Scottish accent is hard to get through. But once you're in, you're in. And once Ms. Jacquelyn opens the door (literally) on the catalyst... *shakes head* there is no going back. There were moments my angst was so high I thought I was going to break the teeth from my head. There were moments I cried tears the size of Texas. There were moments I felt the burn in the back of my throat from the bile rising. There were moments I had to set my Kindle down and just breathe for a minute. There were moments I smiled, and moments I cringed, and I could not bear to put the book down until I'd reached the end.
I didn't want this book to end. It was such a heart-wrenching story. I didn't think NJ could top Dragon and Grease's stories, but wow, she did! I've read several reviews where people totally hate Patrick (hard to call him Poet in this book), but I think what they are forgetting or not seeing is that Amy wouldn't let Patrick even try and make up for the crap that happened, especially the things he didn't even know about. I also get that he had a lot of things to make up for, so I'm not saying he's totally innocent.
I really hope she continues to write this series. I want to read about the 2nd generation of Aces!
I really hope she continues to write this series. I want to read about the 2nd generation of Aces!
A 5 Star Rollercoaster Ride
Absolutely loved this book. This book invoked so many emotions from me. I cried, I laughed, I got angry then I cried again. The heartache that Patrick and Amy went was so overwhelming. So glad that we finally got to know Poets story and got to see his happily ever after.
Absolutely loved this book. This book invoked so many emotions from me. I cried, I laughed, I got angry then I cried again. The heartache that Patrick and Amy went was so overwhelming. So glad that we finally got to know Poets story and got to see his happily ever after.
Oh god this book. My heart was in my stomach the whole time. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about this story because the flashback story's bother me. But this one was amazing!!' This has been my favorite book of the series so far. The terrible things these two had to go through broke my heart. I understand where each character was coming from but it was so hard to watch the crash but I couldn't look away. I was about half way and I was like ok I'm done for the night but then Moria showed up and I'm like oh hell no I need to know all the secrets i felt like I couldn't breathe until I knew it all. That's how I stayed up way later then I should have reading a story that I will take to my dreams. This gave me all the right feels.
Finally read the first book from this author after months on my reader. Knew i would love it and I did. Read all four in 3 days. This one I loved, but it broke my heart first. Hit too close to home I think. Still a wonderful book by one of my now fav authors.
The fourth book in the Aces MC series features Amy, a young woman who’s had a crappy life, and Patrick, the son of the woman who takes Amy under her wing when her parents essentially abandon her in Ireland. Then, things get complicated with the IRA and a bittersweet (emphasis on the bitter) romance happens.
I find this to be one of those books that difficult to review without giving some spoilers, so if you like to avoid those, I’d skip to the Bottom Line. But I digress...
The Good, The Bad and Everything In Between
-Strong writing: I had read the first book in this series by Ms. Jacquelyn, and I remember that my feelings were mixed on that one (the writing had potential but the hidden pregnancy trope isn’t a fave of mine). When I saw the chatter about this book, I had to try it out. While it drove me nuts at times, I always give props to an author who can engage my emotions, and Ms. Jacquelyn certainly did that with Amy and Patrick.
Craving Resurrection is an engrossing story with two flawed characters, well one more flawed more than the other, but it’s also about the choices one makes in life that impact you and everyone around you. As much as I struggled with the romance, it felt very realistic, most of the time tragic and ultimately, hopefully bittersweet. Amy and Patrick were star crossed for most of the story, and while I was aggravated, it certainly didn’t stop me from turning the page.
-Amy’s tortured but resilient heroine: Amy has had the fuzzy end of the lollipop her entire life, up to and including her relationship with Patrick, aka Trick, aka Poet, aka Asshat (ok, that’s my nickname for him, but more on that later). Her parents are completely worthless druggies who neglect and/or abused Amy for most of her life. I would have liked there to be some depth to the relationship with her parents. They really seemed to be horrible simply for effect.
One day, she decides to take Peg, an older neighbor woman, up on her offer to come in to tea. That choice changed the course of Amy’s life. Her relationship with Peg was a highlight and I adored Peg’s protectiveness of Amy. Spoiler Alert: for those with rape triggers, Amy suffers a horrific assault that irrevocably changes her and drives the majority of the story. That she managed to pull herself together, raise her child and function was impressive and I admired her strength. Patrick’s part in her trauma, however...
-Well, Patrick is an asshat: To be clear, I understand the point that if certain choices had never been made, there would be no story, or series for that matter. Brenna wouldn’t exist. Frankly, Patrick and Amy would have lived their lives with a gajillion babies while he taught English Lit at some uni and unicorns and rainbows would have danced around their heads. In this respect, I give credit to Ms. Jacquelyn for telling a story that isn’t easy to tell, but needed to be told.
The romance fan in me, however, wanted to take a ball peen hammer to Patrick’s nuts. From his manipulation of Amy and deriding her for wanting to be with him without the benefit of marriage, to his hookup/relationship with Moira, to his incredibly asinine decision to kill that man before he left Ireland, most of his choices made me wonder how the hell he ever became a VP of a motorcycle club.
The thought that while he declared his intentions with Amy yet hooked up with Moira as some petty revenge irked the ever lovin’ shite out of me. Every choice he made, from their first meeting to his behavior on their wedding night up to his actions after finding out Amy was pregnant, just pushed me farther and farther away from him and any sympathy for him. Again, I was engaged, but mostly because I wanted to hurt Patrick. But this brings me to the next point….
-Balance was ultimately restored, if rushed: Had I had to rate this book at about the 40% mark, I would have one starred it, flipped off Patrick and stomped away, dragging Peg and Amy with me. I’m glad I stuck it out.
Considering what an idiot I thought Patrick was, I appreciated that he acknowledged his asshattery multiple times, felt badly for it and suffered the consequences for it, for the majority of the story. Amy didn’t give him any quarter and her pain and anger with him, I was completely behind (chanting, go #TeamAmy!). That final confrontation when Amy simply unloads it all at once was necessary but I needed a little more time afterwards where Patrick groveled for the pain. If there was ever a man who should have groveled, it was him. That the writing stressed he’ll live with the guilt forever mollified me somewhat, but I would have liked to see more of Amy letting it go so I could believe that suddenly she was ready to accept him back into her life.
The Bottom Line
This is a good story, if not a romance. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t easy, but if you’re into gritty, very bittersweet star crossed kind of love story, then I’d give this a shot.
I find this to be one of those books that difficult to review without giving some spoilers, so if you like to avoid those, I’d skip to the Bottom Line. But I digress...
The Good, The Bad and Everything In Between
-Strong writing: I had read the first book in this series by Ms. Jacquelyn, and I remember that my feelings were mixed on that one (the writing had potential but the hidden pregnancy trope isn’t a fave of mine). When I saw the chatter about this book, I had to try it out. While it drove me nuts at times, I always give props to an author who can engage my emotions, and Ms. Jacquelyn certainly did that with Amy and Patrick.
Craving Resurrection is an engrossing story with two flawed characters, well one more flawed more than the other, but it’s also about the choices one makes in life that impact you and everyone around you. As much as I struggled with the romance, it felt very realistic, most of the time tragic and ultimately, hopefully bittersweet. Amy and Patrick were star crossed for most of the story, and while I was aggravated, it certainly didn’t stop me from turning the page.
-Amy’s tortured but resilient heroine: Amy has had the fuzzy end of the lollipop her entire life, up to and including her relationship with Patrick, aka Trick, aka Poet, aka Asshat (ok, that’s my nickname for him, but more on that later). Her parents are completely worthless druggies who neglect and/or abused Amy for most of her life. I would have liked there to be some depth to the relationship with her parents. They really seemed to be horrible simply for effect.
One day, she decides to take Peg, an older neighbor woman, up on her offer to come in to tea. That choice changed the course of Amy’s life. Her relationship with Peg was a highlight and I adored Peg’s protectiveness of Amy. Spoiler Alert: for those with rape triggers, Amy suffers a horrific assault that irrevocably changes her and drives the majority of the story. That she managed to pull herself together, raise her child and function was impressive and I admired her strength. Patrick’s part in her trauma, however...
-Well, Patrick is an asshat: To be clear, I understand the point that if certain choices had never been made, there would be no story, or series for that matter. Brenna wouldn’t exist. Frankly, Patrick and Amy would have lived their lives with a gajillion babies while he taught English Lit at some uni and unicorns and rainbows would have danced around their heads. In this respect, I give credit to Ms. Jacquelyn for telling a story that isn’t easy to tell, but needed to be told.
The romance fan in me, however, wanted to take a ball peen hammer to Patrick’s nuts. From his manipulation of Amy and deriding her for wanting to be with him without the benefit of marriage, to his hookup/relationship with Moira, to his incredibly asinine decision to kill that man before he left Ireland, most of his choices made me wonder how the hell he ever became a VP of a motorcycle club.
The thought that while he declared his intentions with Amy yet hooked up with Moira as some petty revenge irked the ever lovin’ shite out of me. Every choice he made, from their first meeting to his behavior on their wedding night up to his actions after finding out Amy was pregnant, just pushed me farther and farther away from him and any sympathy for him. Again, I was engaged, but mostly because I wanted to hurt Patrick. But this brings me to the next point….
-Balance was ultimately restored, if rushed: Had I had to rate this book at about the 40% mark, I would have one starred it, flipped off Patrick and stomped away, dragging Peg and Amy with me. I’m glad I stuck it out.
Considering what an idiot I thought Patrick was, I appreciated that he acknowledged his asshattery multiple times, felt badly for it and suffered the consequences for it, for the majority of the story. Amy didn’t give him any quarter and her pain and anger with him, I was completely behind (chanting, go #TeamAmy!). That final confrontation when Amy simply unloads it all at once was necessary but I needed a little more time afterwards where Patrick groveled for the pain. If there was ever a man who should have groveled, it was him. That the writing stressed he’ll live with the guilt forever mollified me somewhat, but I would have liked to see more of Amy letting it go so I could believe that suddenly she was ready to accept him back into her life.
The Bottom Line
This is a good story, if not a romance. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t easy, but if you’re into gritty, very bittersweet star crossed kind of love story, then I’d give this a shot.