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3.13 AVERAGE
3.13 AVERAGE
I really wanted to like this book, and I thought from the title it would be right up my alley, but it really just left a bad taste in my mouth. (I started to get inkling this might be the case when the author started referencing Provo and Lehi UT so I read the “about the author section” and learned she is from Utah county, went to byu, and writes to glorify god. As an exmormon I figured we might have some fundamental disagreements.)
I think the author and I want similar things (walkable cities with more community for everyone) but the reasoning and desired execution are so different that the end result would not be as similar as you might think. In my opinion, you cannot have “the village” that the author is a proponent of without also dismantling American capitalism and patriarchy. Yes, billboards are a scourge on society, but they are a symptom of a bigger problem (coughcapitalismcough), not the problem themselves.
Meanwhile, the author, very clearly speaking from her background of (what I assume is) Mormonism, states that she would not choose to dismantle patriarchy, just “reform” it, while still keeping heteronormative families as a main societal building block, with the father as the head of the household. (In true “family proclamation” style she says this means the mother and father are “separate but equal”).
Furthermore, her privilege shows when she speaks about large corporations vs. local businesses—basically condemning anyone who shops at corporate chain stores for choosing the cheaper option over the “community building option”. Not everyone can afford the farmers’ market over the dollar tree, and we shouldn’t be further stigmatizing anyone living in poverty for “not be a team player”. She also states that “mixed wealth” is not only possible but “imperative” in an egalitarian society (???), and that the free market will lead to an “ideal where everyone cares for one another” (because Bezos is demonstrating that so perfectly now).
There’s also a chapter about differences between the generations and like 2/3 of the chapter is just “why millennials deserve to be suffering”; it felt like the message was “they are mentally ill and can’t afford anything because they didn’t get jobs as teenagers and don’t go outside enough”. Very victim-blame-y.
The whole third section “restoring the American family” is icky to me! She talks about focusing on “family values” which nowadays is unfortunately often a conservative dog whistle that indicates anti-choice, homophobic attitudes and rhetoric. It seems that rather than being of the opinion that “everyone who wants to get married and have children should be able to afford to raise them in a community that will support them”, the author believes “everyone MUST get (straight) married at a young age and immediately begin having babies in order to create these types of communities”.
Lastly, I am begging the editor to reformat the book so that section titles are actually on the same page as the section, not the bottom of the previous page. It happened like ten times.
Some other random quotes that squicked me out:
I think the author and I want similar things (walkable cities with more community for everyone) but the reasoning and desired execution are so different that the end result would not be as similar as you might think. In my opinion, you cannot have “the village” that the author is a proponent of without also dismantling American capitalism and patriarchy. Yes, billboards are a scourge on society, but they are a symptom of a bigger problem (coughcapitalismcough), not the problem themselves.
Meanwhile, the author, very clearly speaking from her background of (what I assume is) Mormonism, states that she would not choose to dismantle patriarchy, just “reform” it, while still keeping heteronormative families as a main societal building block, with the father as the head of the household. (In true “family proclamation” style she says this means the mother and father are “separate but equal”).
Furthermore, her privilege shows when she speaks about large corporations vs. local businesses—basically condemning anyone who shops at corporate chain stores for choosing the cheaper option over the “community building option”. Not everyone can afford the farmers’ market over the dollar tree, and we shouldn’t be further stigmatizing anyone living in poverty for “not be a team player”. She also states that “mixed wealth” is not only possible but “imperative” in an egalitarian society (???), and that the free market will lead to an “ideal where everyone cares for one another” (because Bezos is demonstrating that so perfectly now).
There’s also a chapter about differences between the generations and like 2/3 of the chapter is just “why millennials deserve to be suffering”; it felt like the message was “they are mentally ill and can’t afford anything because they didn’t get jobs as teenagers and don’t go outside enough”. Very victim-blame-y.
The whole third section “restoring the American family” is icky to me! She talks about focusing on “family values” which nowadays is unfortunately often a conservative dog whistle that indicates anti-choice, homophobic attitudes and rhetoric. It seems that rather than being of the opinion that “everyone who wants to get married and have children should be able to afford to raise them in a community that will support them”, the author believes “everyone MUST get (straight) married at a young age and immediately begin having babies in order to create these types of communities”.
Lastly, I am begging the editor to reformat the book so that section titles are actually on the same page as the section, not the bottom of the previous page. It happened like ten times.
Some other random quotes that squicked me out:
- “If we truly want to commit to softening the transition from childhood to adulthood, we must rethink child labor. Sixteen is far too late to start engaging in adult occupations, particularly when considering the luxuries of modern society. A child should be legally allowed to start working around the age of nine.” She does later say there should be intense regulations on this at least but like, bro. Part of the “free market” is exploitation, this would be opening up sooo many potential problems.
- “Having children is the most fulfilling and adventurous path [most people] can take.” (The word most is what bothers me in this one, rather than saying something like “for those who choose it”.)
- “Our culture believes the thirties are the only responsible time to have children… I think most women could benefit from having children earlier.” (This is giving “in the world but not of the world” and “do not put off child rearing for any earthly pursuit” iykyk)
- “Mothers are biologically programmed…” (The transphobia and homophobia underlying the rest of this section are crazy)
- “We need a cultural shift and a renewed conviction that during the early, formative years of a child's life-when they are most vulnerable and reliant on maternal care—it's crucial for mothers to be present with their children… Before any feminists close this book” — girl imma stop you right there
- Quoting both JD Vance and Harry Potter (and iyww the book was copyright 2024)
Tl;dr: This book condemns our current car-centric infrastructure (yay!), but with an underlying unspoken message of “if you aren’t straight or Christian or trying to pop out babies, or if you’re socialist or feminist, you’re part of the problem” (boo!). I think if you are crunchy conservative you will really enjoy this book, but if you are crunchy liberal you will find yourself cringing and rolling your eyes.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Overall, I really liked this book! I found it through Instagram reels and had my local library buy it hahaha. It gave me hope for the future and some action items on how to make villages a reality! The last section of the book was about family and how families greatly benefit from villages. This is a really important perspective, but it made it seem like the whole point of building villages was for the benefit of families. There are many reasons it's difficult to be a parent that could be minimized by villages, but many people don't want to be parents anyway. I feel like this book could've done a better job highlighting that being a parent isn't the only way to be in community, and building community is a lot easier in a village. I feel like I'm thinking about this part of the book more since it was the last section, but overall this book was great and I'd defiantly recommend it!