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jlblumenfeld's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death and Death
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
emjayknocks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
A poignant and informative reflection on modern death practices in the Western world. I appreciated the anchoring explorations about other cultures’ death practices, and I would’ve liked to have learned more! I will check out the author’s other books in the hopes that she goes deeper into that subject elsewhere.
I also appreciated the unflinching and detailed explanations of what happens to our bodies once they arrive at the morgue. I always thought embalming was creepy and this book helped me understand why; I am now inspired to give my body back to the animals after my death! Sadly this book hasn’t made me less terrified of being dead… I’ll keep reading books on the subject and hope for the best 😅
I also appreciated the unflinching and detailed explanations of what happens to our bodies once they arrive at the morgue. I always thought embalming was creepy and this book helped me understand why; I am now inspired to give my body back to the animals after my death! Sadly this book hasn’t made me less terrified of being dead… I’ll keep reading books on the subject and hope for the best 😅
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, and Medical content
kamrynkoble's review against another edition
dark
funny
informative
medium-paced
4.5
What a fascinating read! I listened to the audio, read by the author. While this book does detail/explain much of the process after death (especially cremation), the author’s musings on how we view death as a culture was even more interesting to me. She has a fresh, dark sense of humor without being offensive/insensitive.
Heavy warnings for death (of a parent and infant death specifically, too). I didn’t find the details disturbing or disgusting (then again, I’ve seen a lot of horrible photos of dead bodies from my 911 dispatching days, so maybe I’m not the best reference).
All-in-all an interesting, engaging read that flew by. I’d never engaged with this author before but now I’m excited to check out her videos as well.
Heavy warnings for death (of a parent and infant death specifically, too). I didn’t find the details disturbing or disgusting (then again, I’ve seen a lot of horrible photos of dead bodies from my 911 dispatching days, so maybe I’m not the best reference).
All-in-all an interesting, engaging read that flew by. I’d never engaged with this author before but now I’m excited to check out her videos as well.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, and Death of parent
mirandaleighhhh's review against another edition
funny
informative
medium-paced
4.0
This year I'm reading more about grief, death, and dying to try to confront and make peace with my death anxiety. Off the heels of Staring at the Sun by Irvin Yalom (which I did not care for) this was fantastic. I want to pick up a physical copy so I can annotate the parts I found most comforting and inspiring.
It was also pretty gross! But no grosser, I think, than being alive and having a body. I was surprised to hear that there are death industry "secrets" - WHY? I whole-heartedly agree that the stark separation we have from death in the modern day is a tragic disservice to us all. This book reminded me that I am a person and an animal and part of the earth, and I have a place in it all both in life and in death. I look forward to reading more of Doughty's work.
I didn't love the way she spoke about individuals who have died by suicide, but I don't think it was malicious and I did not get the impression that she is insensitive or uncaring - more the opposite. She is both giving it to us straight and weaving in her own anxieties surrounding death.
"In this way, my body's decomposition would also be a banquet. My corpse would not be a disgusting source of corruption, but a source of life, dispensing molecules and creating new creatures. It would be the finest acknowledgement that I was but one tiny cog in the ecosystems wheel. A blip in the majestic workings of the natural world. We all know how this story turned out. In spite of my fear of living, I chose not to die."
It was also pretty gross! But no grosser, I think, than being alive and having a body. I was surprised to hear that there are death industry "secrets" - WHY? I whole-heartedly agree that the stark separation we have from death in the modern day is a tragic disservice to us all. This book reminded me that I am a person and an animal and part of the earth, and I have a place in it all both in life and in death. I look forward to reading more of Doughty's work.
I didn't love the way she spoke about individuals who have died by suicide, but I don't think it was malicious and I did not get the impression that she is insensitive or uncaring - more the opposite. She is both giving it to us straight and weaving in her own anxieties surrounding death.
"In this way, my body's decomposition would also be a banquet. My corpse would not be a disgusting source of corruption, but a source of life, dispensing molecules and creating new creatures. It would be the finest acknowledgement that I was but one tiny cog in the ecosystems wheel. A blip in the majestic workings of the natural world. We all know how this story turned out. In spite of my fear of living, I chose not to die."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, and Medical content
breadbummer's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Gore, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Grief, Cannibalism, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Addiction, Fatphobia, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Car accident, Pregnancy, and Colonisation
Minor: Sexual content
nikenacs's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.75
I picked this up not thinking much of it, both because I'd had a recent death in my family and because my local library was offering the e-book. And man, I'm so happy I read this. It took me a while to get into it, but when I did, I was INTO IT.
The ins and outs of the crematorium are interesting enough, but the true strength of this book is in its reflections on our society's attitude towards death. Absolutely 10/10 on that front. As someone who has had little to no contact with death in my personal life, this gave me a lot to think about.
Very US-centric, which is not a bad thing, but instead made me very curious to research how the funeral industry works in Germany, and Western Europe in general.
A tad superficial at times, oftentimes a chapter ended just when I felt like we were really getting into it. I appreciate that it combined more light-hearted personal memoir elements with philosophy and history as well as politics, but it could have been a tad more of the latter for my taste.
But all in all, I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this opened my eyes on how we treat both our dead and our dying. Will be recommending, will be checking out more of Doughty's work.
(And on a personal note, I knew I was right when I wanted to set up my testament and funeral wishes when I was in elementary school! Take that, parents.)
The ins and outs of the crematorium are interesting enough, but the true strength of this book is in its reflections on our society's attitude towards death. Absolutely 10/10 on that front. As someone who has had little to no contact with death in my personal life, this gave me a lot to think about.
Very US-centric, which is not a bad thing, but instead made me very curious to research how the funeral industry works in Germany, and Western Europe in general.
A tad superficial at times, oftentimes a chapter ended just when I felt like we were really getting into it. I appreciate that it combined more light-hearted personal memoir elements with philosophy and history as well as politics, but it could have been a tad more of the latter for my taste.
But all in all, I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this opened my eyes on how we treat both our dead and our dying. Will be recommending, will be checking out more of Doughty's work.
(And on a personal note, I knew I was right when I wanted to set up my testament and funeral wishes when I was in elementary school! Take that, parents.)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Gore, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Vomit, Car accident, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Cancer, Fatphobia, Terminal illness, Violence, and Cannibalism
Minor: Addiction, Miscarriage, and Abortion
inthemoonlight's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Medical content, and Car accident
Moderate: Cannibalism and Suicide attempt
angorarabbit's review against another edition
dark
funny
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.5
Context: I have been following Ms Doughty’s YouTube channel for a few years now, it’s about time I read her first book.
This is mainly a memoir and I am not qualified to judge Ms Doughty’s life. Her writing style is bright and breezy even when talking about serious things. That is not to say that she makes light of her topics, she absolutely does not. She sounds like the type of funeral director I wish my mother had talked to when choosing the casket for my grandfather.
There has been many deaths in my life, human and non-human animals. And I have been watching the videos so the message of the book was something I was familiar with already. I can see that it would be very helpful for those who are having their first encounter with the US funeral industry.
One of my fears about death is the mess someone or other will have to clean up. I would be happy if my cats could eat not just my eyeballs but the rest of me as well, leaving a nice clean skeleton to put in some anatomy lab somewhere. While it does not seem like putting bodies in the forest for the bear, wolf, and mountain lion to consume willt be feasible (at least not legally) in the near future, I hope Ms Doughty and others will make a future in the US where loved ones are not pressured to go into debt while their grief is still fresh and where everyone can grieve as they need too.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Drug abuse, Gore, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Blood, Medical content, Dementia, Grief, Cannibalism, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Car accident
Graphic descriptions of the process of cremation, embalming, and other funeral practices.pandaintheshelves's review against another edition
funny
informative
reflective
5.0
A girl always remembers the first corpse she shaves. It's like a virginity, your first time is awkward, you're not really sure what to do, and it's over before you know it. But with each subsequent corpse, you learn a little more, make fewer mistakes, and figure out how to find pleasure in the little things
This is one of the best first lines I've ever read 😅
If someone had told me a month ago that a non-fiction book would make me laugh and cry to the same extent, I wouldn’t have believed them.
I wish this author were my professor because she made learning about end-of-life rituals and customs fun without being disrespectful or emotionally detached.
Brace yourself, this is not for the faint of heart. It also may be particularly difficult for people who've experienced a recent loss ⚠️ Be mindful of your mental health and check the content warnings, please. That's the most important thing 🙏
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Terminal illness, and Medical content
Moderate: Child death and Cannibalism
veeples's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This has been one of my favorite reads all year, hands down. I’ve followed Caitlin Doughty on her YouTube channel for years and I’m so glad I got around to listening to this book. Caitlin’s humor shines through that adds a bit of lightness to such heavy material, but not inappropriately so. I enjoyed seeing her journey in her relationship to death and her reflections on others’ who appear in the book and their own relationship with death. I’ve always had an appreciation for what she stands for in regards to agency in dying and opening up a conversation about death, and reading this has only deepened that.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child death, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Cancer, Dementia, Cannibalism, Car accident, and Abortion