Reviews with content warning for Dementia - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

It took me 5 hours and 43 minutes total to read this book.
It was really good and I highly recommend all of Caitlin Doughty’s books and work online. It’s a great way to ease yourself into confronting your own mortality. It also is a good reminder to think about and talk to your loved ones about what you want done with your body when you die.

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challenging dark emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

This book was great! Great because I realised how much I don't know about something I should be more in touch with. Caitlin talks about society being pushed away from the ideas of death and in doing so, we become more afraid of it. It reminded me of when I was a kid and having to stay behind with my cousins while our parents went to a funeral of someone they knew. Now, it could have been because the family didn't want unnecessary trouble with kids, but it could have also been because "children shouldn't be exposed to death at such a young age". While I agree that too much death and violence causing death, could lead to some trauma, allowing children to understand when someone died, and that they can grieve or ask any questions they have is very positive and open. I loved just hearing Caitlin use the knowledge she'd picked up through the experience at Westwind and mortuary school, with research and information about rituals from around the world (present and past) and relating that to her life. It felt like such a connect and meant sometimes I could relate but always understand. I also loved the research about death rituals from around the world, from present day to past - it was my favourite part of the book. Not only that but the quotes and industry information, and how they can prey on your grief; Caitlin not bashing the industry, just simply acknowledging that they have the ability to take advantage. I took so long to finish this book because each chapter felt so heavy - I had to take in so much information and really think over it - but that's not a bad thing at all. The beginning and the end of the book were very personable, which I didn't mind and even liked at the beginning, but once I'd got to the middle and discovered facts and information about the death industry, while I like and agree with the majority of Caitlins opinions, I only wanted more facts and wisdom

rather than being hired by a company and wanting Luke but not getting him.

However, I did also cry at the last few pages so.

My favourite quotes:

'The Bay's current fulfilled feminist Camille Paglia's lament: "Human beings are not nature's favourites. We are merely one of a multitude of species upon which nature indiscriminately exerts its force."'

'Bodies cremated in full, heads donated to science, babies, and some woman's amputated leg all come out looking the same in the end. Sifting through an urn of cremated remains you cannot tell if a person had successes, failures, grandchildren, felonies. "For you are dust, and to dust you shall return." As an adult human, your dust is the same as my dust, four to seven pounds of greyish ash and bone.'

'In many ways, women are death's natural companions. Every time a woman gives birth, she is creating not only a life, but also a death. Samuel Beckett wrote that women "give birth astride of a grave." Mother Nature is indeed a real mother, creating and destroying in a constant loop.'

'Death might appear to destroy the meaning in our lives, but in fact it is the very source of our creativity. As Kafka said, "The meaning of life is that it ends." Death is the engine that keeps us running, giving us the motivation to achieve, learn, love, and create. Philosophers have proclaimed this for thousands of years just as vehemently as we insist upon ignoring it generation after generation. Isaac was getting his PhD, exploring the boundaries of science, making music because of the inspiration death provided. If he lived forever, chances are he would be rendered boring, listless, and unmotivated, robbed of life's richness by dull routine. The great achievements of humanity were born out of the deadlines imposed by death. He didn't seem to realise the fire beneath his ass was mortality-the very thing he was attempting to defeat.'

'At the moment I was alive with blood coursing through my veins, floating above the putrefaction below, many potential tomorrows on my mind. Yes, my projects could lie fragmented and unfinished after my death. Unable to choose how I would die physically, I could only choose how I would die mentally. Whether my mortality caught me at twenty-eight or ninety-three, I made the choice to die content, slipped into the nothingness, my atoms becoming the very fog that cloaked the trees. The silence of death, of the cemetery, was no punishment, but a reward for a life well lived.'

I WILL READ THIS BOOK AGAIN.

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative lighthearted medium-paced

4.5

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whatannikareads's review against another edition

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challenging funny informative reflective fast-paced

4.25

im super terrified of death but im masochistic in that i can't stop myself from reading/seeing things about death, so this seemed like a perfect read for me. i think this is so informative--graphic at times, but conveys its point--does what the author wants to do, which is normalize death and decay. i think you should read this on an empty/settled stomach bc shit gets crusty! while informative, i did find the author's writing style a bit college-essay and she goes off on some tangents that are a bit simplistic (the luke thing). the chapter format got a bit predictable, but it doesn't deter from the meat of the information--just would've been perfect if it had been edited tighter.

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