Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

347 reviews

sirensreviews's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This is one of the best books that I have ever read. After finishing it, I struggled to read other books because nothing compared to how well written and complex this story is. I truly think about this book every single day. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Adult/minor relationship, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Bullying, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Torture, Suicide attempt, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Hate crime, Grief, Addiction, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Incest, Sexual content, Self harm, Pedophilia, Panic attacks/disorders, Trafficking, Emotional abuse, Cursing, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Rape, Gore, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Death of parent, Violence, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, Homophobia, Drug abuse, Drug use, Suicide, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, and Kidnapping

This is the saddest book that you will ever read. It never gets better and I do not recommend reading it quickly because it is alot to take in.

violetbentbackwards1036's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Emotional abuse, Ableism, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Car accident, Confinement, Cursing, Grief, Infidelity, Medical content, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Sexual violence, Abandonment, Cancer, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Death, Eating disorder, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Toxic friendship, Pedophilia, Rape, Blood, Body horror, Forced institutionalization, Child death, Outing, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, and Sexual assault

eelizard's review against another edition

challenging dark sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Violence, Racial slurs, Gore, Drug use, Toxic relationship, Rape, Eating disorder, Pedophilia, Death, Physical abuse, Vomit, Toxic friendship, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Self harm, Drug abuse, Trafficking, Addiction, Grief, Emotional abuse, Blood, Car accident, Torture, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Cursing, Chronic illness, Ableism, Terminal illness, Kidnapping, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Abandonment, Confinement, Body shaming, Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Stalking, Sexual violence, Panic attacks/disorders, and Medical trauma

mskingbean69's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Alcohol, Blood, Body shaming, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicide, Ableism, Chronic illness, Death, Kidnapping, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual content, Confinement, Death of parent, Eating disorder, Hate crime, Medical content, Physical abuse, Toxic friendship, Body horror, Bullying, Car accident, Gore, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Medical trauma, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Torture, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Violence, Vomit, Classism, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting

hollynewton's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.0

This book navigates adult friendships, aging, career paths, addiction, romantic relationships, and family is the most insightful and beautiful way I have ever read. Unfortunately, this all ends around a third of the way in, when the book focuses on one character’s extremely traumatic life. <spoilers> The graphic and excessive descriptions of child rape, self harm and domestic abuse left me desensitised, an effect that I think is harmful to the reader and one that I hope the author did not intend. I understand that Jude’s suffering is the foundation of his character, but Yanagihara’s rendering of his abuse feels sensationalist and in my opinion trauma porn. Whilst a full recovery and happy ending for Jude would have been unrealistic, the sheer volume of physical, psychological, sexual abuse he experiences is so extreme that it feels pointless. Yes, everything that happens to Jude happens to real people, but does it all ever happen to one singular person? Jude is abandoned in an alley as a baby, a child prostitute raped almost daily, a double amputee, has an eating disorder, performs serious self harm almost daily, and loses the love of his life in a car accident. But also, he’s a vastly wealthy and successful lawyer, an exquisite singer of Schubert’s lieder, a professional-grade baker, incredibly good-looking, is adopted as an adult by his ex professor and falls in love with his best friend of 30 years. <spoilers> The result is that the book feels preachy without actually being clear as to what it is preaching; are we to feel guilty that such horrors occur in the world? Empathy for this fictitious anomaly of a person who experiences it all? Grateful for our own normal struggles in life? I’m not sure, but this book was painful to read and without many benefits for me.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Dementia, Body shaming, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Sexual assault, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Child abuse, Death, Drug use, Eating disorder, Drug abuse, Body horror, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Cursing, Excrement, Kidnapping, Violence, Blood, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual content, Mental illness, Terminal illness, Car accident, Dysphoria, Gore, Medical trauma, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Child death, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Medical content, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Cancer, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Toxic friendship, and Trafficking

impossibleprobable's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Torture, Toxic friendship, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, Injury/Injury detail, Pedophilia, Vomit, Death, Rape, Suicide, Fire/Fire injury, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Mental illness, Self harm, Blood, Emotional abuse, Gore, Abandonment, Addiction, Chronic illness, Drug use, Confinement, Suicide attempt, and Grief

ceetea's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, Injury/Injury detail, Violence, Toxic friendship, Terminal illness, Gaslighting, Addiction, Blood, Domestic abuse, Torture, Suicide, Sexual harassment, Self harm, Medical content, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Grief, Gore, Mental illness, Rape, Physical abuse, Child death, Child abuse, Death, Vomit, Trafficking, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Sexual content, Car accident, Drug abuse, Drug use, and Emotional abuse

k_coston's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.25

I need the author in jail
I go into recommendations blind and all I heard was this made people on tiktok cry, so here is my review after listening to the audiobook for 3 months spoilers are present

1. there's a problem with how there was no care provided to Jude after he got outta his situation like Anya ow whatever her name was didn't set up any counseling after what he went and survived through???? OK, it seems fake, but ok

2. he's such a victim, like it's hard for me to feel sympathy when they unravel his story intermittently throughout the book . It explains why he's like that but it's just a me thing that I didn't like how the book was set up I almost would've wanted them to wait until the end to reveal what happened to him

3. I feel like the author was deriving pleasure how much she was dumping on Jude, like it was extremely hard to continue at times, and I would've dnfed if I was reading the actual book.  I feel like that experience with Dr trailer was completely unnecessary to the story like it was just like "again really we already did this with brother luke" while listening to it also the story of how the Dr got Jude needed to be explained more throughly

4. willem and Jude had respect for each other but not love like willem took advantage of Jude and that really disgusted me when we found out he suspected Jude didn't like having sex with him and he still subjected him to it? after already guessing he had sexual trauma, you did that to the person you supposedly loved most? actually, he didn't even respect him. You don't do that to people you love.

5. how does Jude have a backbone in only 1 area of his life? only work. on top of not having a backbone, he doesn't have a personality! he doesnt share anything about himself it seems like he's being pitied by everyone around him all the time, like he does not develop whatsoever from page one and I feel like I myself don't know anything about Jude other than he doesn't like himself but even after a while a victim has to take a stand for themselves and we're rooting for him to get some self esteem and it just never develops. if you don't have a backbone for yourself and for no one else, how are you supposed to stand the test of time? how are you supposed to take the rocks that life throw at you??? that's exactly why Caleb was allowed to do what he did to Jude and why Jude was always bound to kill himself in the end.

6. this is a book that doesn't have any character development in the slightest and I was holding out until the last moment that the author would do the humane thing and give Jude a happy ending but no.  it was a vile book of trauma porn with no resolution so you spend the entire book reading about unthinkable pain and suffering so much so that you start wanting him to die to put him out of his misery.

very cruel Hanya.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Infidelity, Suicide attempt, Torture, Vomit, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Addiction, Grief, Medical trauma, Racial slurs, Medical content, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Toxic friendship, Car accident, Child death, Chronic illness, Cursing, Injury/Injury detail, Trafficking, Suicide, Gore, Rape, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexual content, Slavery, Toxic relationship, Violence, Adult/minor relationship, Ableism, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Cancer, Child abuse, Drug use, and Eating disorder

pmayes's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

 A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara is a powerful and emotionally charged novel that delves into the lives of four friends—Jude, Willem, JB, and Malcolm—as they navigate the complexities of adulthood in New York City. Yanagihara’s writing is both exquisite and haunting, drawing readers into a world of pain, love, and resilience. Some key aspects of this remarkable book for me are as follows:

Vivid Characterization: Yanagihara’s ability to create deeply layered characters is truly remarkable. Each friend has their own struggles, dreams, and past traumas. Jude, in particular, stands out as the novel’s enigmatic protagonist. His mysterious past and ongoing struggles with physical and emotional pain make him a compelling and unforgettable character. I hurt for him, yet at the same time, I was also frustrated with him. He didn't see himself for the remarkable human being he was despite all that he had been through; but isn't that life?

Emotional Intensity: The novel’s vividness extends beyond its descriptive prose. Readers are immersed in the characters’ lives, feeling their joy, sorrow, and heartache. Yanagihara doesn’t shy away from depicting raw emotions, and as a result, readers experience a rollercoaster of feelings while reading. I can't tell you the amount of times that I ranted to my roommate and others about how this book made me feel, super happy, super sad, angry, etc.

Sad Backgrounds, Amazing Lives: The friends’ backgrounds are marked by tragedy and hardship. Yet, as they grow older, they achieve professional success and build meaningful relationships. This contrast between their painful pasts and their present accomplishments adds depth to the narrative. It’s a reminder that life is multifaceted, and even amidst success, inner struggles persist. I've heard people talk about how sad this book is, but I rarely hear people discuss the amazing success that every character had in this book. I think that should be highlighted just as much as the sad parts.

Jude’s Struggles: Jude’s journey is central to the novel. His traumatic childhood, self-harm, and emotional scars haunt him throughout his life. Despite his achievements, he remains haunted by his past. This struggle resonates with readers, illustrating how our history can shape our present and future. This book definitely should come with a slew of trigger warnings. It can be a lot to take in. I had to take several breaks while reading this book; just to collect myself and digest what was happening. Indeed, Jude’s ongoing battle with his past trauma mirrors the complexities of real life. Success doesn’t erase pain, and our past experiences continue to influence us. Yanagihara captures this truth beautifully, showing that even amidst accomplishments, inner demons persist.

I will add that at times it was hard to follow what was happening within the book. The chapters or sections would start and you wouldn't know who was speaking or who's perspective was being told until you were half-way through that section. So, that made an already long read, even longer for me. I found myself rereading sections multiple times.

Also, be sure to have your dictionary handy while reading this. This book uses so many complex, but descriptive, words, that I myself had not heard of before. This may not be an accessible book for everyone; especially given the average reading level in the US is at the 3rd grade level.

In summary, A Little Life is an emotionally charged masterpiece that invites readers to grapple with the human condition. Yanagihara’s writing is both exquisite and devastating, leaving an indelible mark on anyone who ventures into the lives of these unforgettable characters. However, it is also, at times, a difficult read emotionally and literally. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Grief, Physical abuse, Self harm, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Car accident, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Rape, Ableism, Drug use, Eating disorder, and Injury/Injury detail

suebug's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Blood, Drug abuse, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Rape, Violence, Eating disorder, Medical content, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Adult/minor relationship, Ableism, Domestic abuse, Grief, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Car accident, Child abuse, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Kidnapping, Addiction, Forced institutionalization, and Chronic illness

Moderate: Homophobia and Sexism