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3.65 AVERAGE
3.65 AVERAGE
This book was really trying to be a lot of things, and I’m not sure it really achieve that. Part college book, part about new motherhood, along with the critique of capitalism in the United States, friendships, class, and social relations, it was just trying to do a lot of things. It switches between the two perspectives of Elisabeth, the mother, and Sam, her babysitter, as they both made bad choices, and try to justify them constantly. So many things in the story we’re not ever clarified or wrapped up, like Elisabeth’s relationship with her sister and her lies to her husband, and his whole solar powered grill?
I just feel like there were a lot of ideas, that never really went anywhere. But all that said, and done, it was a fairly enjoyable book to read.
I just feel like there were a lot of ideas, that never really went anywhere. But all that said, and done, it was a fairly enjoyable book to read.
informative
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Well written but... maybe a little boring? I loved Sullivan's novel Maine and really liked Saints for All Occasions, so I was a little surprised that I didn't really enjoy this book as well. I didn't get as immersed in it as I expected to get and I didn't connect as much with the characters. I wonder if it's because I don't plan to have children - and the book centers around the relationship between a babysitter and a mother? I loved that the babysitter Sam was going to a school based on Smith, because I went to UMass and reading about Amherst always brings on good-nostalgia (but again it was hard not to be a little critical of some of the things that were "wrong" - prob not actually wrong since it's a fictional place, but just felt off to me). And reading about Sam's experience at Smith was fun - I've been to parties there, but never imagined they had dining halls in their dorms, details like that were fascinating. I mostly felt sorry for the young mother, Elizabeth. Especially at the end when you find out what's happened in her life (it doesn't make sense to me at all).
I love the story, the writing, and the relationships in this book. It was such a unique way to explore how you interact with people around you throughout your life. I did want to love this, so I was slightly let down, but overall I’m still so glad I read it!
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
“Your twenties are about getting the things you want—the career, the man. Your thirties are about figuring out what to do with that stuff once you’ve got it.”
This was my first J. Courtney Sullivan book, and I can already tell it won’t be my last. Friends and Strangers was an engrossing, layered, and deeply observant novel about class, privilege, motherhood, and the complicated relationships women build with one another. The writing is razor-sharp, filled with moments of wry humor and keen social commentary, while also being one of those quiet books where not much happens—except, of course, everything does.
At its heart, this is a novel about the unexpected bond between Elisabeth, a new mother and successful writer struggling with the realities of suburban life, and Sam, her 20-something nanny who is still figuring out what she wants out of adulthood. Through their perspectives, Sullivan dissects so much of what it means to be a woman in different stages of life—what we expect for ourselves, what others expect from us, and how those expectations rarely align.
“The big secret of adulthood is that you never feel settled,” Elisabeth said. “Just unsettled in new ways.”
What I loved most about Friends and Strangers was how real it felt. Sullivan captures those small, everyday moments of self-doubt, miscommunication, and longing with such precision. Elisabeth’s story, in particular, felt like an incredibly honest portrayal of motherhood—not just the love and exhaustion, but the isolation, the resentment, and the relentless recalibration of identity.
“The bond between parent and child was all-consuming, and yet its power was not cumulative. It had to be remade again and again throughout the course of a lifetime.”
And then there’s Sam—idealistic, politically conscious, yet still young and naïve enough to believe in easy answers. Her dynamic with Elisabeth is fascinating, oscillating between admiration and judgment, warmth and quiet resentment. Their relationship feels so authentic—two women at completely different points in their lives, looking at each other and wondering if they’ve made the right choices.
There are so many brilliant observations in this book—about marriage, privilege, power dynamics, and the roles we assign ourselves and others. There’s a quiet but biting critique of classism running through it all, particularly in how Elisabeth views Sam and the working-class women around her. Sullivan doesn’t tell us who to sympathize with—she just presents these flawed, deeply human characters and lets us sit with their contradictions.
“She looked at the people digging up roads and busing dishes and caring for other people's children—holding up the world—and wondered what they'd rather be doing.”
If I had any critique, it would be that the pacing felt a little slow at times, but honestly, I didn’t mind. I was fully invested in these characters and their inner lives, and Sullivan’s writing is so observant and insightful that I didn’t want to rush through it.
TLDR: Friends and Strangers is a beautifully written, introspective novel that examines class, privilege, and the shifting complexities of female relationships. Thoughtful, smart, and deeply human—definitely won’t be my last J. Courtney Sullivan book.
At times, I didn’t know where the story was going but it all comes together in the end. It should have taken me so long to read this book. Again, this is a book I would have read fully and quickly at another time in my life.
I loved this book. The two points of view are so real and relatable this could really be anyone’s story. It was so real and so to speak « common » which made it even better.
At once a “light read” and at times a deeper look at society, friendships, motherhood, and marriage. Really enjoyed this one and devoured it in 3 days. It was easy to get right into the characters’ heads and relate to their struggles and insecurities.
Yes, characters annoyed me at times, but the observations that are made about society, privilege, and class, are pretty astute and also often hilarious.
The author’s style is really compelling and draws the reader in. I found the relationships and drama mostly well done with a few cliches and overstatement of the obvious, that made me take away a star.
Yes, characters annoyed me at times, but the observations that are made about society, privilege, and class, are pretty astute and also often hilarious.
The author’s style is really compelling and draws the reader in. I found the relationships and drama mostly well done with a few cliches and overstatement of the obvious, that made me take away a star.