Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

383 reviews

fenny94's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

One of my favourite books of all time. Would caution others to only start this when you are in a healthy place emotionally and psychologically because of the seriousness of the subject material.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Car accident, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

xiaoban's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Did I like this book? Yes. 
Would I recommend it? Never. 

All of the reviews that preceded this one insinuated so much pain and sorrow and even though I prepared myself, this one still managed to DESTROY me. This was the first book I have finished in a few months and it was undoubtedly the saddest book I have ever come across. Outside of the insane (and excessive) trauma and triggers, this one of the most comprehensive novels about loneliness, friendship, and chosen family that one can read in a lifetime. 

It is undeniably gripping from the first chapter to the last chapter. The first hundredish pages gives such a solid introduction to four main characters that you become invested in each of their lives, rooting for them individually and dying to know more about their history/dynamic as a group. What starts out as a genuine love for each character quickly morphs into a sick, anxiety about the painful truths of their friendships and lives

The first time they said the phrase "A Little Life" I was like "oh lol they did the thing!" And then second time they said it the context made me physically recoil so violently I needed a shower 

Surprisingly, I found myself really enjoying the overall lack of plot and dialogue throughout the book. If we are being honest, I will probably never give this book a reread. 

Although this book has left a physical ache in my chest, I have an great appreciation for the author’s ability to write complex characters and  present a realistic portrayal of the effects heavy trauma can have on an individual. 

TLDR: Hanya Yanagihara made me very sad 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

ka_cam's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book is a lot. Strongly encourage reviewing content warnings. Well written and at times moving exploration of the impacts of trauma and love, especially friendship and chosen family, through the years. However many parts of the story felt excessive and flat-

The trauma Jude experienced was… gratuitous and frankly unrealistic. It felt like the author wanted a childhood as horrific as possible set 100 years before the young adulthood- what Catholic monastery (not orphanage or school) would be allowed by superiors and the state to raise a child? What child would, multiple times, be taken to many doctors and later attend public school with clear, visible, severe injuries known to be due to ‘breaking the rules’ and not encounter state intervention, however ineffective, at any point? Would a child in state care with a history of sex trafficking and abuse not be assigned a social worker or monitored for continued sexual abuse in any way? Never forced to sit through group or individual therapy, however ineffective? Just cut loose from foster care well before their 18th birthday without an emancipation or other process to attend college out of state? It just got harder and harder to believe and it took me out of the story a lot. Likewise while the love and devotion of his adult friends, doctor, and adoptive parents was heartwarming it was sometimes pure to the point of flatness, only Willem really reacted to J’s serious mental health issues with mental health issues of his own/poor reactions. They at times read like martyrs to the concept of healing trauma more than full characters

 All to say, the character development and research into the systems (Catholic, social service, medical, etc) involved felt lacking to a distracting degree. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Cancer, Drug abuse, and Death of parent

Minor: Dementia

oscarlavista's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Unrelenting tragedy and heartbreak. I don't think I could ever recommend this to anyone but I also think everyone should find the time to read it. 
It's slow, it trudges, and it hits so hard right in the heart. It's awful. I knew it would be, but I was so compelled to give it the time it deserved. It's simply a modern classic that should never be experienced by anyone.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Body shaming, Child death, Car accident, and Abandonment

heyitssally's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Beautifully written novel that is hard to stop reading once you start it, and I enjoyed the relationships the characters had with one another. But some of this seemed really unrealistic that it took me out of the story. 

The number of times Jude is abused, how Jude is great at everything although he had a troubled childhood; he was great at baking, cooking, math, piano, languages, law. When and how could he have practiced all of this? I understand he helped out when living at the Monastery, but where did he find a piano? Jude later has the money, resources and support to go to therapy, yet he doesn’t and struggles. Which is still realistic, but some people have criticized this saying the author doesnt “believe in therapy”, which wouldn’t surprise me since Jude doesn’t improve. And it seemed very unrealistic that all four friends became rich and successful (other than Malcom who was already rich). Williem’s death came suddenly, along with Malcom’s, although Jude doesn’t mention Malcom as much.

I enjoy a sad book every now and then, but this is just too much.

There is hope in this book, and Harold is an example of this, showing how he was a loving father. Jude also learned to trust more people. But the ending, after all Jude went through, was unexpected, but perhaps realistic.

There should also be more trigger warnings, as there are heavy topics of abuse. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Death, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, and Injury/Injury detail

eahhhhh's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

It doesn’t matter how many warnings you get about this book being sad or leaving your heart in pieces NOTHING will prepare you for it.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, Vomit, Grief, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

loganhdavis's review against another edition

I dreaded picking this up because it just kept getting more and more depressing. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, and Toxic friendship

ryoung23's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I think this is going to hold the title for my favorite book of 2024. It was heartbreaking and all so beautiful. It ended in the way I expected, but had some shocking things happen from beginning to end that I didn't expect. Jude deserved all the love he ever received in a life full of hate. I am so thankful that I finally read this book. I don't know if I'll ever read another book like it. 

There are A LOT of trigger warnings in the book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Vomit, Medical content, Kidnapping, and Dysphoria

Minor: Addiction and Gaslighting

emily_p1's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Body shaming, Bullying, Child death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Kidnapping, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, and Toxic friendship

dejanira's review against another edition

dark slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Go the therapy or draw 25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body horror, Body shaming, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism