Reviews - Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know

5.51k reviews for:

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know

I’m balancing between 4 and 5 stars. Am I removing a star because so much of the book is so uncomfortable to read? That’s not fair. Or am I removing a star because there were just one too many unnecessary details that distracted from the incredibly important implications of his 3 points?

I love how this book (and his others) has a very clear and direct thesis statements - his English teachers would be proud. It is immensely helpful, particularly when you get into the weeds of some chapters and feel lost. It was almost like he’d given me a PostIt note for my brain: I have 3 points, remember which one we’re on.

To summarize, poorly:
1) we default to believe people to be truthful (and that’s ok usually)
2) we struggle with mismatched people - their expressions and behaviors often don’t mean what “the majority” assume
3) “where” matters as much if not more than who or what

There were several times in the book that I wasn’t sure I liked where he was going. Was he really letting this guy off the hook? Was he really going to ignore race, inequality of the sexes, he’s leaving out context etc. But give the man some room to his make point and I at least felt he circled back around to satisfying, at least academically if not emotionally, conclusion.

I honestly hope someone writes up a 3-scroll-screen summary of the book because too many people won’t get through the muddy messy details yet would still really benefit from the overarching information.

In particular the sections on how cultures relate to alcohol and drunkness and the section on suicide prevention based on the elimination of specific methods should be read by every teen, every college student. And anyone who who thinks/worries “why ban ___; if they want to commit a crime/kill themselves, they’ll find a way” really must read Part Five, Chapter 10. Its both sobering and yet ultimately hopeful.

Oh right and TRIGGERS. Seriously: rape, pedophelia, torture, abuse, suicide, police violence. While he brings up the stuff we’ve heard about in the news (and much that we haven’t) there are depositions and DETAILS. While I don’t think we should shy away from difficult topics, I do wish, again, there was a slightly less explicit version that could still communicate the principles of his 3 points. Because they’re very important points about how we humans interact that bust up a lot of assumptions and myths we’ve all been taught our entire lives.

tjh14850's review against another edition

4.0

This book seemed very similar to Blink. In that book, Gladwell talked about people's snap judgements (and how they could be prone to error). In this one, Gladwell talks about the problem of how people's biases mess up things that should appear obvious and can be severely missed. Many examples are given but like Blink, the presentation is not balanced and no counter examples are presented. Nonetheless, it is an interesting read and is connected to a lot of the problems seen when routine traffic stops end badly, especially for BIPOC individuals.

owenmarcu's review against another edition

5.0

One of the best nonfiction books I’ve read!

lytlekt's review against another edition

3.0

Perhaps not in the right mind-set for this one, as I found it depressing and some of the examples quite disturbing. But , with the Coronavirus lock-down, my anxiety is high, so context wasn’t the best for this read.
I enjoyed the subject matter of Gladwell’s previous books much better. And this one felt a little held together with twine. Still a pretty quick read with some interesting observations.