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5.53k reviews for:
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know
Malcolm Gladwell
3.83 AVERAGE
5.53k reviews for:
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know
Malcolm Gladwell
3.83 AVERAGE
medium-paced
My first Malcom Gladwell! Definitely interested in reading more of his books. Not sure overall what to say about it, it started slow and then picked up, but just felt sooo heavy with the subject matter. I learned some really important things, but also was confused at parts with how he was trying to connect things.
Specifically the part about Jerry Sandusky was wild. I don't understand how it fit in with the rest of the book, and feel like he really just wanted to be able to write about the case. I finished that chapter feeling quite uneasy- he really wants to have people question whether or not he is guilty because of one or two conspiracy theorists? Also felt super uncomfortable with how graphic the SA parts were; it felt like he was sensationalizing a really awful subject and it made me take away less of what he was actually trying to argue or get across.
My learnings:
-great reminder that talking with strangers means talking to people with very different perspectives and backgrounds than us (I liked the example of a person from the Netherlands moving here and thinking that they way Americans behave is fake because they are effusive)
-guns are a huge public health problem, especially for police interacting with the public, crime riddled neighborhoods, and death by suicide
-crime reduction initiatives can be very useful, if the data from them are used correctly (I was mind blown by how stupid traffic stops are bc data was used incorrectly) (And why are we still relying on police who don't have enough training to do it all?)
-the fact that crime isn't gathered in whole neighborhoods, but streets within the neighborhoods is so interesting. Also good to know how much a reduction in guns can help.
-suicidal people who don't easily have access to a way to kill themselves often don't (so wild how many deaths could have been prevented if a net had been put up under the San Francisco Bridge so much earlier- those people that fail to execute a jump most often don't end up dying in the end from a different way)
-the justice system continues to feel so unfair, and yet what to do about it? Humans are just so bad at detecting truth from lies
-the information gleaned from torturing people is often not true at all (and yet we keep doing it)
-we are surrounded by people lying to us everyday, and instead of detecting it, we're actually really good at giving them the benefit of the doubt and that's actually a good thing because it would be terrible living in a society filled with people that don't trust one another (Bernie Madoff's case was crazyyyyy and I loved the profile of the guy that knew he was a fraud from the beginning)
-the amount of sexual assaults taking place on college campuses is unacceptable; I can't believe there isn't more being done to figure out how to stop them more often. And I don't think Gladwell quite hit the nail on the head by blaming alcohol more than the objectification of women.
Specifically the part about Jerry Sandusky was wild. I don't understand how it fit in with the rest of the book, and feel like he really just wanted to be able to write about the case. I finished that chapter feeling quite uneasy- he really wants to have people question whether or not he is guilty because of one or two conspiracy theorists? Also felt super uncomfortable with how graphic the SA parts were; it felt like he was sensationalizing a really awful subject and it made me take away less of what he was actually trying to argue or get across.
My learnings:
-great reminder that talking with strangers means talking to people with very different perspectives and backgrounds than us (I liked the example of a person from the Netherlands moving here and thinking that they way Americans behave is fake because they are effusive)
-guns are a huge public health problem, especially for police interacting with the public, crime riddled neighborhoods, and death by suicide
-crime reduction initiatives can be very useful, if the data from them are used correctly (I was mind blown by how stupid traffic stops are bc data was used incorrectly) (And why are we still relying on police who don't have enough training to do it all?)
-the fact that crime isn't gathered in whole neighborhoods, but streets within the neighborhoods is so interesting. Also good to know how much a reduction in guns can help.
-suicidal people who don't easily have access to a way to kill themselves often don't (so wild how many deaths could have been prevented if a net had been put up under the San Francisco Bridge so much earlier- those people that fail to execute a jump most often don't end up dying in the end from a different way)
-the justice system continues to feel so unfair, and yet what to do about it? Humans are just so bad at detecting truth from lies
-the information gleaned from torturing people is often not true at all (and yet we keep doing it)
-we are surrounded by people lying to us everyday, and instead of detecting it, we're actually really good at giving them the benefit of the doubt and that's actually a good thing because it would be terrible living in a society filled with people that don't trust one another (Bernie Madoff's case was crazyyyyy and I loved the profile of the guy that knew he was a fraud from the beginning)
-the amount of sexual assaults taking place on college campuses is unacceptable; I can't believe there isn't more being done to figure out how to stop them more often. And I don't think Gladwell quite hit the nail on the head by blaming alcohol more than the objectification of women.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Police brutality
informative
reflective
fast-paced
While I think there are important topics covered in this book, some of the situations, systems, and dynamics discussed in this book feel a bit oversimplified and maybe lack the depth required to cover holistically. There is not a lot of dialogue on cultural prospectives, differences, intersectional identities, and the role of systemic oppression, and the way that that influences the way people show up in certain spaces or roles. I by no means think that this was the intention, but the
way certain situations are covered, I think could potentially be perceived as victim blaming, and then on the other side, being overly sympathetic to people who have caused harm.
way certain situations are covered, I think could potentially be perceived as victim blaming, and then on the other side, being overly sympathetic to people who have caused harm.
We believe that we can tell my looking at and talking to someone if the are good, bad, lying. TV shows have taught the facial expressions of a liar.
Computer programs are better at predicting bail jumpers than judges but judges won’t relinquish.
Amanda Knox did not act with remorse so was convicted even though no physical evidence.
The Coupling part is really fascinating... event tied to something...suicide to gas ovens, suicide to Golden Gate Bridge, crime to certain areas of a neighborhood .
How the Police experiment in Kansas City with stop and search evolved is frightening ...
I understand the Defund Police people a bit more...
Computer programs are better at predicting bail jumpers than judges but judges won’t relinquish.
Amanda Knox did not act with remorse so was convicted even though no physical evidence.
The Coupling part is really fascinating... event tied to something...suicide to gas ovens, suicide to Golden Gate Bridge, crime to certain areas of a neighborhood .
How the Police experiment in Kansas City with stop and search evolved is frightening ...
I understand the Defund Police people a bit more...
I truly enjoyed this book. The way the book is structured, while not original, was quite effective. Gladwell frames the entire book around the Sandra Bland incident and uses a myriad of examples and case studies to help illustrate why the interaction went so awry. Does Gladwell present novel or new concepts, probably not. They seemed like established sociological concepts, but revisited and applied to current events to teach someone like me, a novice in sociology, why we suck at interactions with strangers. Will it change how I interact with strangers, probably not. But I am not a judge, or a lawyer, or a politician, or a cop. My interactions with strangers don't necessarily have the impact such as those in a position of power. But I found it vastly interesting, to pick apart tragedies and look into why interactions went wrong beyond someone being bias, racist or stupid, while at the same time not discounting those facts.
Fascinating stories. He does a good job of getting you to look at historical or current events from a different perspective.
I had to put this book down at the halfway mark and walk away from it. There were some interesting parts, such as the cold war spy story but overall I felt like Gladwell was grasping at straws. He has a point he's trying to make but reiterating a theory doesn't make it true. The multiple recounts of rape and pedophilia in the book were extremely unpleasant to read. Not sure who the intended audience was for this book. Definitely not me.
informative
slow-paced
Interesting concept but it felt poorly connected. And lacked a big reveal of overarching connection of themes that was definitely expected based on the entire premise of the book.
I’m pretty surprised this book is as popular and well rated as it is. I enjoyed parts of this book, namely the historical background of world leaders’ relationships with Hitler and the Cuban CIA double agent, which shed light on pieces of history I was not previously aware of. However, the majority of the book was pretty painful to read and felt like a defense of some reprehensible acts done by some pretty reprehensible people e.g. Larry Nassar, Brock Turner, Brian Encinia, Jerry Sandusky. I thought at first that maybe i was missing the point, but the more I thought about it the more I decided that Gladwell used really awful examples in trying to get his point across. Why use convicted murderers and rapists to illustrate to the readers that people
have a natural inclination as human beings to assume people tell the truth? Most of his examples seemed like such a stretch to me and I just could not get past it enough to feel this was a valuable read.
have a natural inclination as human beings to assume people tell the truth? Most of his examples seemed like such a stretch to me and I just could not get past it enough to feel this was a valuable read.
informative
inspiring
fast-paced