Scan barcode
Reviews
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
pinkparentheses's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
1.0
I’m reading the 2009 edition. I realize many things have nuance but the difference between addicts and codependents are binary. Addicts can never understand a codependent just as the codependent could never understand the addict. That’s where the issue lies, plain and simple. The author is in no position writing on this topic because she is an addict. Yes, she may be sober but she will always be an addict. The resentment in this book seethes through the pages. The words she uses are victim blaming, fatphobic, white washed, and centered on Christian values. Just as she calls codependents controlling, who is she to tell us who we are? I don’t know if I’m fully codependent, but do have some traits. I’m definitely not an addict. I just don’t get how she can write about a “condition” that’s fully conditional on others behavior and still thinks the codependent has just as much issues as an addict. Maybe in extreme cases and maybe that’s relatable to some, but really the audacity of an addict to tell others how they should react to THEIR unhinged and selfish behavior…It’s makes complete sense, of course she would want to write this book!
wishfulfillment's review against another edition
5.0
I'm still in the middle of reading it, but I can safely say it's one of the most helpful works I've read. I'm a therapist and will recommend this to my clients. I'm not codependent as far as I know, but I could easily find myself in this book. Coming from the backgrounds of substance use, substance use treatment providing, and being in a relationship with someone who used substances, the author seems to understand how to speak to those of us who defy, resist, poke holes in, and wave away most useful advice. This work is her ode to the topic and it feels like she accumulated all of the information she could find about it, condensed it, and translated it for all of us, to save us time and energy. If you only read one chapter, make it the one about emotions (In my edition it's Chapter 13: Feel Your Own Feelings).
From a strictly technical writing perspective: her voice is charming, it feels like she's speaking to us and yet the paragraphs make formal sense with each other, and it's wildly engaging to read.
From a strictly technical writing perspective: her voice is charming, it feels like she's speaking to us and yet the paragraphs make formal sense with each other, and it's wildly engaging to read.
jessielavoieak's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.75
sillyhily's review against another edition
i thought this book had so much to offer but i got very uncomfortable with the volume and delivery of the idea that the reader is a Christian. A big part of my codependency lies in my trauma from Christianity and the experiences i faced in and through the church and it just sucked to keep getting christianity jump scares when i’m trying to heal a part of myself that christianity had a large systemic part in creating. :/ if the 2022 version is any better pls let me know i had the 1992 publication since it was what was available at the used bookstore, but otherwise i think for now i don’t feel ready to take on the responsibility of finishing this since i’m not very deep into my healing journey from christianity, im just not at a place where i can just casually (not really casual in this book to be fair) be referred to openly as christian and not feel weird about it. If anyone has recommendations for books with the similar topic of codependency but authors who take more nuanced perspectives into account i’d love to hear them!
Content Warnings
Christianity References, Religious References, Author calls the reader “Christian’s” and many times refers to “God” and asks you to think of “God” in activities and such. It starts pretty mild but by the time I quit it was about a page and a half just about the Christian God. (I mean no offense to those practicing Christianity, I just wish someone had told me this before i bought the book and powered through 11 chapters.)
mkwoods's review against another edition
Had to return to the library! Planning to revisit.