Reviews tagging 'Physical abuse'

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer

14 reviews

hduc's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This book deals with monstrous people. Of course there will be disturbing stories. But fear not, take one or two pages at a time. You would come out of this book a heart lighter.

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Content Warnings

Minor: Pedophilia, Self harm, Child abuse, Grief, Misogyny, Racism, Toxic relationship, War, Violence, Sexism, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Suicide, Genocide, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Cursing, Domestic abuse, and Drug abuse

rustproofbottom's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective fast-paced

4.75

wow. so much to unpack in this book. I will absolutely be returning to this one again and again. it's that important and rich in thought and reflection. 

at the top is a helluva swing at examining what we should do about the relationship between art we love (in all form and genre) & artist & our consumption of it in context of artists (overwhelmingly mostly men) that end up doing horrible things are could righteously be called gigantic pieces of sh+t... they are, monsters. 

This is a topic that I've talked with friends about and never landing anywhere near anything that resembled a satisfying answer.

I feel like this could be 10,000 page book easily. Because this book is so much more than a take down of these people or a simple guide to rationalization. It's an open invitation to consider how your consumption of art can be a mirror into who you are. Not as a "we" or "us" that resents a broader group, culture, or society. But as individuals. 

you are taken through a series of analyses and reflections that invite you to reflect on the intersection of the art that is being consumed, the artist's biography AND your own biography, not the idealic, sanitized version, the real, raw, warts and all version. The whole story - stains and all. 

you're also invited to think broadly about the role of societal norms & expectations, pressures of late-stage capitalistic systems, and morals and virtues that are constantly evolving. How do they contribute to your own definition of self? How does art help inform that definition? How are your own beliefs & behaviors influenced by, caused by, supported by, identified with all of those? 

Part philosophy. Part critical analysis. Part history lesson.

I love it because I was left with a ton of things to think about within myself. There's also not a prescriptive answer. There's not an empirical rubric to give a pass/fail too.

It is not a purity test. It's not transactional. It's not simple. It's relational, subjective, and evolving. 

It's messy and complicated and terrible and beautiful.

Just like the human experience.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Misogyny, Rape, Domestic abuse, and Physical abuse

Moderate: Antisemitism, Addiction, Alcoholism, and Sexual harassment

This book examines dark, horrible behavior by people who caused a lot of harm to others sometimes with extreme violence. It is not presented in a way that is gratuitous or dramatized or dwell on them. It states supported facts plainly - which can be difficult to hear / read but is critical to the understanding the plain context of the intent of the book.

readingpicnic's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

I appreciated the author’s honesty throughout this book about consuming art made by people who’ve done horrible things, as well as digging into her guilt and complacency in doing so. The question of whether it’s morally good or bad or something in between to consume music, video games, and books is something I often think about myself, so I appreciated getting other perspectives on this issue where there’s not exactly a right answer. I think that some of her examples of celebrities that she named chapters after weren’t really explored as much as they could have been, while others were explored too much, like her practically explaining the whole plot of Lolita for some reason. The Lolita chapter also didn’t feel particularly relevant because it’s purely speculation about whether the author did anything bad or shared traits with the main character he wrote, so I didn’t find this chapter as strong or compelling. I also thought it was a bit weird to paint one of the woman celebrities as a monster just for giving up her baby for adoption…
I didn’t really expect an answer to the question of whether it’s okay to still consume these forms of media because it’s such an individual choice, so I wasn’t upset that she didn’t make a declaration either way. I was really interested in the chapter about Wagner and how harmful it is to say that people were “a product of their time” and that “everyone had those harmful beliefs back then” because it takes pressure off those people and excuses their behavior as being normal in the past. I hear people use this argument all the time, and I almost started to believe them, but I agree with the author in holding people of the past accountable too because there were people who held more progressive beliefs back then, and they chose to not be one of them. Although the book was a bit repetitive at times, I enjoyed the author’s writing and was pretty engaged throughout. I’m definitely going to keep thinking on this subject and be critical of whose content I’m reading/watching/listening to, as well as who I make exceptions for and why.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Physical abuse, Suicide, Child abuse, Sexual assault, and Emotional abuse

flissbooks's review against another edition

hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Minor: Abandonment, Sexual assault, Rape, Physical abuse, Racism, Transphobia, Antisemitism, Alcoholism, Pedophilia, and Child abuse

oliviaemily's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective medium-paced

3.75

how awful can we be before people stop loving us? i really enjoyed this musing on the perennial issue of whether art can be separated from the artist (and whether it should be). from jk rowling to joni mitchell, roman polanski to the author herself and her alcoholism, there’s a really nuanced and sensitive discussion of every type of monster. it kind of culminates in capitalism being the unavoidable issue (it doesn’t matter if you boycott, the decision is still shifted to the consumer) which i agree with but still found a bit plain. but then expands back out to conclude that, while every artist’s work is tainted by their biography, every consumer’s receipt of that art is coloured by their own experiences too. anyway it’s an ethical question without a real answer but this was a good exploration of it

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Rape, Alcoholism, and Physical abuse

larajgriff1's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective slow-paced

3.0

Unfortunately my expectations and hopes for this book were vastly different than what I experienced.  I wanted a more broad view of how "monstrous" artists affect their fandom and what the group as a whole or individually moves forward.  This book is much more personal to the writer and more of a memoir of her life and how she relates to different artists than the effect of their actions on the world.  

However, I cannot fault the author for the book not being what I hoped.  It is written very well and does make some good points about how these moments and artists affect us.  Though in the middle of the book she seems to be "existential crisis-ing" in circles and it doesn't feel like there is momentum again until the last few chapters.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Violence, Sexual violence, Suicide, Racism, Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Abortion, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content, Antisemitism, Rape, Transphobia, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship

this is a book about people who do terrible things. It is hard to avoid anything, but I did skip a full chapter because I was so uncomfortable with the crimes of an artist.

jainabee's review against another edition

challenging dark funny informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

I am so glad this book exists because I NEEDED it. It needed to exist in the world. The question of how to balance fandom of my favorite works of creativity with the toxic and destructive behaviors of the creators is an issue that torments me. Dederer directly addresses some of my own pet monsters; Woody Allen, David Bowie, JK Rowling, Miles Davis. This book makes me think a LOT. This book is very uncomfortable in a vitally important way. This book challenges me in ways I needed. The chapter comparing and contrasting Valerie Solanas and Sylvia Plath (!!!!!) flipped my wig with the brilliance of unexpected insights about how women respond to the violence of misogyny. The chapter about Lolita is a sparkling gem of brilliant insight and analysis that might be the best review of it I've ever read (spoiler alert: Nabokov is not a monster, though he is a genius). This book is FULL of triggering content, as it describes the crimes of the creators. No way around that. The point of the book seems to be to face the monsters directly and feel the extremely uncomfortable dilemma between loving something, even the monster, "even after everything." I got a lot to think about here.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Rape, Pregnancy, Toxic relationship, Self harm, Child abuse, Drug use, Physical abuse, Infidelity, Abandonment, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Sexism, Pedophilia, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, Antisemitism, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Kidnapping, Racism, Mental illness, Medical content, Gaslighting, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Alcoholism, Classism, Drug abuse, Cursing, Grief, Murder, Racism, War, Xenophobia, Genocide, and Hate crime

Minor: Drug use, Death of parent, Dysphoria, and Fire/Fire injury

I need to read this book again. And probably again.

danimacuk's review against another edition

challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism and Suicide

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Antisemitism

Minor: Domestic abuse, Rape, Abortion, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Racism, Sexual violence, Transphobia, and Physical abuse

bookmindedmag's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

For those who sensitive to certain subjects, I included content warnings. The writer discusses some of the terrible things done by the men/women she discusses in the book so take care. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Physical abuse, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Violence, Alcoholism, Suicide, Sexual violence, and Sexual assault

ktdakotareads's review against another edition

informative slow-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Death, Grief, Infidelity, Drug use, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexism, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Antisemitism, Bullying, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Suicide, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, and Racism