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yaakovakiva's review against another edition
4.0
I wish I had read this book months or even years ago, rather than after I've finally made a decision about a toxic relationship in my life. Reading about the experiences of other adult children strengthened my acceptance of my history, and provided validation and a sense of being less alone.
One of the exercises I really enjoyed was the idea of a memorial exercise, to say goodbye to fantasies that childhood could somehow be different for me:
This is a ritual that I've used in other ways previously, but a refresher in using it in this context was comforting.
The book gives quite a few really wonderful examples of ways to confront and then heal from a difficult family history.
One of the exercises I really enjoyed was the idea of a memorial exercise, to say goodbye to fantasies that childhood could somehow be different for me:
"I hereby lay to rest my fantasy of the good family. I hereby lay to rest my hopes and expectations about my parents. I hereby lay to rest my fantasy that there was something I could have done as a child to change them. I know that I will never have the kind of parents that I wanted, and I mourn that loss. But I accept it. May these fantasies rest in peace."
This is a ritual that I've used in other ways previously, but a refresher in using it in this context was comforting.
The book gives quite a few really wonderful examples of ways to confront and then heal from a difficult family history.
ac_rva's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
Graphic: Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Alcoholism, Incest, Violence, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Child abuse
angelfireeast24's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Highly Recommend! When I first started this book I wasn't sure it was for me but the longer I read the more I connected with content. Very helpful and emotional
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Abandonment, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Pedophilia, Rape, Alcoholism, Bullying, Incest, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual violence, and Violence
Minor: Abortion, Death of parent, Body shaming, and Cursing
wink_wink's review against another edition
4.0
3.5
Good information and interesting, but wasn't doing it for me. It didn't keep my attention how I was wanting with this book. It was kind of like reading an article and listing things at times.
Good information and interesting, but wasn't doing it for me. It didn't keep my attention how I was wanting with this book. It was kind of like reading an article and listing things at times.
tophat8855's review against another edition
4.0
It took me far too long to recognize the emotional manipulation and humiliation I grew up with. Once I did, a friend of mine recommended this book to me and I read it 2 years ago. I liked it a lot and it's helped me gain the courage to expect respect from my family. Just spent 10 days with them and I actually had the courage to speak up against the sexist, racist, and otherwise offensive comments and degradation. Unfortunately, I don't think I can do that for long. I need to re-read this and re-think that relationship in general.
My goal as a parent: for my children to not end up needing counseling because of me.
My goal as a parent: for my children to not end up needing counseling because of me.
nmasters0616's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
3.5
I agreed with the first 70% of the book, but the remainder was definitely a product of the time it was written in. To say that a person can only overcome the effects of their toxic parents through confronting them is very singleminded and can and likely has put many people in dangerous situations as a result.
Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, and Incest
christina72's review against another edition
4.0
Very helpful indeed. Lots of confirmation. And I'm not caring if others think I'm being ridicules or making it out to be something it is not. It is exactly what you think it's not.
I really look forward to reading her other books.
I really look forward to reading her other books.