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3.44 AVERAGE
3.44 AVERAGE
Completely factually incorrect like honestly if you’re going to write a book some of it should be right. So many of the studies are take. Out of context it’s absurd
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia
This book was intriguing and enlightening. I think it is a good read for anyone with tweens or teens. Regardless of if the theme applies to you.
This sheds light on the true power of social media, the struggles of being a girl, and all that entails.
This sheds light on the true power of social media, the struggles of being a girl, and all that entails.
challenging
sad
medium-paced
Full of deeply sad and tired arguments that misrepresent trans people and conflates being trans with self harm and eating disorders. Constant misgendering of trans individuals, even adults after the author claimed to respect adults' gender. Powerful fearmongering.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide, Transphobia
Moderate: Body shaming, Deadnaming, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Gaslighting, Dysphoria
Sure wish I could give negative stars for bad research and transphobia, but alas; I'll just have to make do with a one-star review.
I should start this review by saying this, I read to learn. To be entertained. To gain perspective. To understand and empathize. I don’t believe that having an accurate view of ANYTHING means only examining it from the point of view of which you agree with or should I say, that agrees with you. I think, especially in today’s political and social climate, people seek out information, not to learn, but to USE as ammunition to justify things they’ve already decided upon. I don’t want to be that person and so I decided to read this book.
When I came across it, my initial reaction was… aversion. But being a mom of two young girls, who will one day not be so young, I thought maybe with all of the “research” associated with this book I might learn something.
My honest review is this…this book for me was, for lack of a better word, useless. While I don’t doubt the anguish that the families of these young girls felt is real, it seemed VERY cherry picked to me. For example, for every anecdote the writer felt the need to preface the story with the fact that the family was “politically liberal”, “progressive”, “GAY”. This for me was the equivalent of telling someone you have a black friend so you can’t be racist. Or the old “I’m not racist BUTTT” [insert eye roll here].
The author also concocted this narrative that parents were TOO supportive of their child’s mental and emotional needs and so therefore these kids had to “act out/rebel” in some way. Yeah, me too. But no amount of standard teenage rebellion was going to just make me transgender. No matter how many times in my childhood I watched Mrs. Doubtfire and saw my male cousin traipsing around in cut off denim shorts and high heels made me think “I should do that”. Just like when friends of mine were having sex, dabbling in heroin and failing out of school. I didn’t mindlessly do it. Can I say the same for every girl out there? No, absolutely not. We know how important social media status and clout is these days…I mean just look at this author. But these are teenagers. How quickly we forget how it feels to be young. Human beings are allowed to grow, learn, change their minds, and yes even fuck up.
Am I saying that being transgender is a phase or a fuck up? NO. Which is what makes this book so dangerous. For all those kids out there who ARE transgender or who are just trying to figure themselves out, this mentality is dangerous and closeminded. It widens the divide between us (parents) and them (kids).
What I truly think is this book is a cleverly worded, highly notated, sky-is-falling story. It’s bullshit. The trans population accounts for less that .5% of the US population.
We all know tweens and teens are impressionable, angsty and desperate to figure out who they are and where the belong in our society. This path is never linear. I think a LOT of parents forget this. The anger in the community groups on Facebook and the petulant ramblings of a gaggle of suburban moms is proof enough that we don’t know our kids and we don’t REMEMBER how it feels to be a kid. “A kid knocked over my garbage pail” “Call the cops” “where are the parents?!” “My kid would never do that”. This mob mentality against younger generations is so unnecessarily harsh and aggressive. EVERY older generation looked down upon “kids these days”.
The ONLY thing that stood out to me about this book was the very real repercussions of taking body altering medications and surgeries. This is scary, yes. BUT it’s also pretty scary when your kid comes home with a tattoo on their face, when they get on the back of a friend’s motorcycle, or wind up in a loveless marriage their whole lives. What can you do? Take away their toys? Move to a different state? Put them in conversion therapy? You can’t control every decision your kid makes but you can try to be the kind of parent that gives them the tools to make good and healthy decisions… and sadly, that won’t always work either.
The thing I really disliked about this book was this notion that because these parents had raised, cared for, clothed, fed, educated and LOVED their kids, they felt an obligation from their children to love and respect them. It breaks my heart to think this but my kids and your kids don’t owe us shit. We don’t have children just to control them. We raise children to be adults who are capable, intelligent, critical thinkers, and kind members of a society. I believe that this book for all of its vitriol and misinformation is truly without value.
When I came across it, my initial reaction was… aversion. But being a mom of two young girls, who will one day not be so young, I thought maybe with all of the “research” associated with this book I might learn something.
My honest review is this…this book for me was, for lack of a better word, useless. While I don’t doubt the anguish that the families of these young girls felt is real, it seemed VERY cherry picked to me. For example, for every anecdote the writer felt the need to preface the story with the fact that the family was “politically liberal”, “progressive”, “GAY”. This for me was the equivalent of telling someone you have a black friend so you can’t be racist. Or the old “I’m not racist BUTTT” [insert eye roll here].
The author also concocted this narrative that parents were TOO supportive of their child’s mental and emotional needs and so therefore these kids had to “act out/rebel” in some way. Yeah, me too. But no amount of standard teenage rebellion was going to just make me transgender. No matter how many times in my childhood I watched Mrs. Doubtfire and saw my male cousin traipsing around in cut off denim shorts and high heels made me think “I should do that”. Just like when friends of mine were having sex, dabbling in heroin and failing out of school. I didn’t mindlessly do it. Can I say the same for every girl out there? No, absolutely not. We know how important social media status and clout is these days…I mean just look at this author. But these are teenagers. How quickly we forget how it feels to be young. Human beings are allowed to grow, learn, change their minds, and yes even fuck up.
Am I saying that being transgender is a phase or a fuck up? NO. Which is what makes this book so dangerous. For all those kids out there who ARE transgender or who are just trying to figure themselves out, this mentality is dangerous and closeminded. It widens the divide between us (parents) and them (kids).
What I truly think is this book is a cleverly worded, highly notated, sky-is-falling story. It’s bullshit. The trans population accounts for less that .5% of the US population.
We all know tweens and teens are impressionable, angsty and desperate to figure out who they are and where the belong in our society. This path is never linear. I think a LOT of parents forget this. The anger in the community groups on Facebook and the petulant ramblings of a gaggle of suburban moms is proof enough that we don’t know our kids and we don’t REMEMBER how it feels to be a kid. “A kid knocked over my garbage pail” “Call the cops” “where are the parents?!” “My kid would never do that”. This mob mentality against younger generations is so unnecessarily harsh and aggressive. EVERY older generation looked down upon “kids these days”.
The ONLY thing that stood out to me about this book was the very real repercussions of taking body altering medications and surgeries. This is scary, yes. BUT it’s also pretty scary when your kid comes home with a tattoo on their face, when they get on the back of a friend’s motorcycle, or wind up in a loveless marriage their whole lives. What can you do? Take away their toys? Move to a different state? Put them in conversion therapy? You can’t control every decision your kid makes but you can try to be the kind of parent that gives them the tools to make good and healthy decisions… and sadly, that won’t always work either.
The thing I really disliked about this book was this notion that because these parents had raised, cared for, clothed, fed, educated and LOVED their kids, they felt an obligation from their children to love and respect them. It breaks my heart to think this but my kids and your kids don’t owe us shit. We don’t have children just to control them. We raise children to be adults who are capable, intelligent, critical thinkers, and kind members of a society. I believe that this book for all of its vitriol and misinformation is truly without value.
This was an excellently researched book about a current issue that needs to be dealt with.
Anyone who states this is an anti-trans book has either not read the book or is lying. It is about protecting young girls and women from making a decision which they will regret, and a decision that they will regret will harm the trans community as a whole.
Read before you criticize!
Anyone who states this is an anti-trans book has either not read the book or is lying. It is about protecting young girls and women from making a decision which they will regret, and a decision that they will regret will harm the trans community as a whole.
Read before you criticize!
This is obviously a delicate subject, but needs to be discussed. In my daughter's small 8th grade class, 12% of the girls came out as transgender or non-binary. TWELVE PERCENT. Most of those children were not "girly" in the traditional sense, and would probably have just considered themselves "tomboys" in generations past.
The author makes the case that individuals who are born with gender dysphoria are rare. The current numbers of adolescent girls coming out as transgendered likely speaks more to discomfort with their changing bodies and how to cope with growing up as a woman. It also serves to exacerbate the differences between the sexes as the current message seems to be that if you're a girl who like sports and eschews dresses and make up, you're probably really a boy.
I would recommend this book to anyone with a pre- or teenage daughter. We all want to be supportive of our kids, but the way in which we support them can make all the difference.
The author makes the case that individuals who are born with gender dysphoria are rare. The current numbers of adolescent girls coming out as transgendered likely speaks more to discomfort with their changing bodies and how to cope with growing up as a woman. It also serves to exacerbate the differences between the sexes as the current message seems to be that if you're a girl who like sports and eschews dresses and make up, you're probably really a boy.
I would recommend this book to anyone with a pre- or teenage daughter. We all want to be supportive of our kids, but the way in which we support them can make all the difference.
dark
informative
fast-paced
informative
reflective
medium-paced