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bookjerm's review
4.0
A really great, quick read about one gay man's journey trying to reconcile his religious beliefs with his sexuality. Can we have morality without religion? Can you be an atheist and still share values with the religious? These are a couple of the topics discussed in this poignant memoir.
annelisa614's review
4.0
Chris Stedman came to give a talk at my school and thanks to the invite of one of my fav professors, I got to have lunch with Chris and basically spend the whole day following him around (thanks Dr Mahn). Unfortunately, I read the book AFTER meeting Chris and it just made me wish I could ask him so many more questions!! The subject matter pairs very well with an existential crisis I’m going through on my own right now lol.
andipants's review against another edition
3.0
There was a lot to like here, and I honestly agree with most of Stedman's premise and outlook — I do think the world needs more good faith (pun absolutely intended) efforts at humanizing people with whom we disagree and working together to find common ground and work toward the benefit of humanity. Broadly, then, we are on the same page. I also appreciated him sharing his own story and experiences, which tracked surprisingly close to my own in some ways. We're nearly the same age, and while I was raised in a religious household, it was pretty perfunctory mainline Protestantism. I went through a phase starting in middle school where I got super religious, then in high school came out as bi and fairly quickly fell out of belief altogether. A brief, angry New Atheist phase followed, supplanted as I matured by a growing realization that fundamentalists do not define religion and that brand of atheism is mostly reactionary bullshit. His philosophical progress tracked so closely with mine, in fact, that had I read this book when it came out in 2012, I fully expect that I would have given it a glowing five stars and raved about it to anyone who would listen.
But, as he himself mentions, there are pitfalls that come with writing a memoir before you've even hit a quarter century. I'm not 24 anymore, and while I'm not sure 31 is a whole lot more worldly wise, some of his ideas, particularly in the final chapter, smack of naivete. Interfaith dialogue is wonderful and important, yes, but some of his prescriptions come off as straight-up respectability politics, more or less arguing that we should be nice to religious people because if enough of us do then they'll finally like us and finally give us our rights. This is a shortsighted and ahistorical view at best, and other struggles have demonstrated that respectability politics are ultimately of limited use in effecting meaningful societal change. I'd actually be really interested to see if he has any further thoughts on this topic now, especially in light of the current political situation.
Still, a potentially worthwhile read, especially for someone still in or just coming off a New Atheist mindset. As I said, I do think Stedman's heart is in the right place, and if he hasn't got the details down here, he definitely seems to at least be on the right track.
But, as he himself mentions, there are pitfalls that come with writing a memoir before you've even hit a quarter century. I'm not 24 anymore, and while I'm not sure 31 is a whole lot more worldly wise, some of his ideas, particularly in the final chapter, smack of naivete. Interfaith dialogue is wonderful and important, yes, but some of his prescriptions come off as straight-up respectability politics, more or less arguing that we should be nice to religious people because if enough of us do then they'll finally like us and finally give us our rights. This is a shortsighted and ahistorical view at best, and other struggles have demonstrated that respectability politics are ultimately of limited use in effecting meaningful societal change. I'd actually be really interested to see if he has any further thoughts on this topic now, especially in light of the current political situation.
Still, a potentially worthwhile read, especially for someone still in or just coming off a New Atheist mindset. As I said, I do think Stedman's heart is in the right place, and if he hasn't got the details down here, he definitely seems to at least be on the right track.
lory_enterenchanted's review
emotional
inspiring
reflective
3.0
Read for my Spiritual Memoir challenge, a book engaging with atheism or agnosticism.
Only a portion of this short book was a memoir, and I failed to gain much of a picture of the author's life. The anecdotes he shared were specifically in support of his current work as an interfaith activist, and the latter part focused on arguments for why atheists should be open to interfaith dialogue (while making clear that atheism is not itself a religion).
The memoir portion covers Stedman's religion-free (aside from a slight acquaintance with Unitarianism) childhood in a liberal family, then a period in adolescence when he joined a fundamentalist church, unfortunately closely followed by his growing realization that he was gay. The pages detailing his agony over his supposed sinfulness are absolutely heartbreaking. Eventually, his mother noticed his distress and brought him to a more tolerant Lutheran minister who put him on a better path, religion-wise, and he became involved in more liberal Christian circles to support his social idealism. While going to a Lutheran college and majoring in religion, though, he lost his faith, and although briefly angry at religion he soon rejected militant anti-theism and became an interfaith enthusiast. Since he wrote the book before turning 24, there may be even more changes in store, but that's the story so far.
It seemed to me that Stedman was never actually religious in any real sense at all; he was looking for human community in the church, probably out of loneliness as his parents divorced and his mother had no time for him (she was frantically working and going to school to support her family). Shedding this transient cloak of religiosity was the honest thing to do, but seemed to represent more a return to his roots than a real transformation. At least those roots meant
Stedman is brave in many ways, championing an ideal of love and human solidarity even in the face of great prejudice. I wish there had been more stories and less pontificating; the latter was not as powerful.
Only a portion of this short book was a memoir, and I failed to gain much of a picture of the author's life. The anecdotes he shared were specifically in support of his current work as an interfaith activist, and the latter part focused on arguments for why atheists should be open to interfaith dialogue (while making clear that atheism is not itself a religion).
The memoir portion covers Stedman's religion-free (aside from a slight acquaintance with Unitarianism) childhood in a liberal family, then a period in adolescence when he joined a fundamentalist church, unfortunately closely followed by his growing realization that he was gay. The pages detailing his agony over his supposed sinfulness are absolutely heartbreaking. Eventually, his mother noticed his distress and brought him to a more tolerant Lutheran minister who put him on a better path, religion-wise, and he became involved in more liberal Christian circles to support his social idealism. While going to a Lutheran college and majoring in religion, though, he lost his faith, and although briefly angry at religion he soon rejected militant anti-theism and became an interfaith enthusiast. Since he wrote the book before turning 24, there may be even more changes in store, but that's the story so far.
It seemed to me that Stedman was never actually religious in any real sense at all; he was looking for human community in the church, probably out of loneliness as his parents divorced and his mother had no time for him (she was frantically working and going to school to support her family). Shedding this transient cloak of religiosity was the honest thing to do, but seemed to represent more a return to his roots than a real transformation. At least those roots meant
Stedman is brave in many ways, championing an ideal of love and human solidarity even in the face of great prejudice. I wish there had been more stories and less pontificating; the latter was not as powerful.
ricefun's review
5.0
Stedman shares his own story of conversion and re-version in a humble and engaging way. He has chosen to act boldly and proactively in interfaith circles as a convicted atheist. In this book, he is sharing his own journey to atheism, and alongside, his deep investment in humanity, something he feels he shares with many atheists who are drown out by flashy, loud "new atheists" that spew a fundamentalism unhealthy to any person, of faith or not. When the label "faitheist" was leveled at him as an insult, insinuating that he was not a pure atheist, he chose instead to adopt that moniker for himself to represent his understanding of ways to better the world through dialogue and service. He is trying define atheism in constructive terms, instead of defining it as not-faith.
As a convinced follower of Christ, I do not agree with Stedman's religious worldview. However, like the conclusions my thesis work about prayer coverings brought me to, I agree wholeheartedly with Stedman that conversations with those who differ from our faith decisions are much more productive than assumptions about "them" as a group - this applies to a wide variety of groups we categorize with "us" and "them" language. When we humanize them, we find they may have more in common with us than we ever imagined. Or, at least we are less likely to with the destruction of all of "them."
Finally, there is a delightful Church of the Brethren cameo that makes an appearance in the last chapter. It really made me smile :)
As a convinced follower of Christ, I do not agree with Stedman's religious worldview. However, like the conclusions my thesis work about prayer coverings brought me to, I agree wholeheartedly with Stedman that conversations with those who differ from our faith decisions are much more productive than assumptions about "them" as a group - this applies to a wide variety of groups we categorize with "us" and "them" language. When we humanize them, we find they may have more in common with us than we ever imagined. Or, at least we are less likely to with the destruction of all of "them."
Finally, there is a delightful Church of the Brethren cameo that makes an appearance in the last chapter. It really made me smile :)
jackphoenix's review
3.0
Though an interesting read about the importance of interfaith cooperation, this memoir suffers from its author's young age and lack of experience.
socraticgadfly's review
2.0
Disclosure: I am a Facebook friend of Chris.
First, I agree with his take on Gnu Atheism. Very much so.
I also agree with the idea of trying to find common ground with people of faith, though perhaps not to the degree he tries to seek it out.
Second, a relatively minor issue, but I wonder about someone this young writing a memoir. (Along with that, sorry, the book's not even 208 pages. It's 180 of body text. Kind of slim, especially at list price of 22.95.)
But, there's the more serious reasons I can't rate this higher. (And, how I can even sympathize with one or two two-star readers who didn't feel engaged by the second half.)
Chris notes the power of "story." Well, I see a few "disconnects" here and there, for one thing.
Related to that, some of those "disconnects" make me wonder just how much of an atheist he is, and if, to the degree he is one, this is just one stop on the road of his being a "seeker" of some sort.
Here's some excerpts from a long blog post I've written about the book.
1. Chris clearly was an "old soul" as a kid. I relate. He was also naive as a kid, at times, it seems. Maybe even clueless. I also relate. However, he also doesn't always seem aware of that in hindsight. That is shown in part by ...
2. The first time he visited a conservative church, he talks about how felt "moved" by the embrace from the "welcomer," and he later notes that was probably a budding gay sexuality issue. However, he never explicitly says that that was part of why he joined the church.
3. He joined this church for community. Only later did social justice drives arise. Since he had gotten his mom more interested in church then, why didn't they go back to her family's Methodism?
4. His dad gets almost no mention. Yes, his parents divorced, but it seems Chris as at least 10 when that happened. What was, and is, their relationship? Good, bad, nonexistent?
5. Another family issue. If Chris had gotten his mom more involved at that conservative evangelical church, how did she know to have him talk to this particular liberal Lutheran minister immediately after she read his journal? Did she already suspect he was gay? Chris gives us no background.
5A. It's depersonalized in other ways; we never hear names of his siblings and other things. None of their reactions to his "journey" are related to us. For that matter, neither is his mom's reaction.
6. Was Chris really "that much" of an atheist in his early years after "coming out"? Several things in teh book tell me now. He says that, at the end of his undergrad time at Augsburg, he felt jealous of progressive theologians, and he felt angry that he couldn't be and believe the same. He went to a graduate divinity school. And, after getting to Chicago, he only discovers "atheist community" after a full year of active involvement with Interfaith Youth Core?
Chris, Minneapolis is a big and diverse enough place; Chicago even more so. It sounds like "atheist community" was not that important to you, at least not until after extensive involvement with Interfaith Youth Core; is there a marketing/branding related issue? And, related to that we have:
7. A comment like this, page 130:
Anyone who looked remotely religious ... was given a suspicious sideways glance by my nonreligious friends as they went outside for their continual cigarette breaks.
Sorry, but I find that last clause gratuitous, even gratuitous with baggage.
For more of these thoughts, please visit my blog post at http://socraticgadfly.blogspot.com/2012/11/so-how-good-is-faitheist-whats-it-about.html
I reserve the right to bump the rating back up, but, as I write further and put some of it on my blog, too .... I've moved this down to 2 stars. The more and more I think about some of the "depersonalization" aspects of the book, not just vis-a-vis his family but primarily there, I just had to do that.
First, I agree with his take on Gnu Atheism. Very much so.
I also agree with the idea of trying to find common ground with people of faith, though perhaps not to the degree he tries to seek it out.
Second, a relatively minor issue, but I wonder about someone this young writing a memoir. (Along with that, sorry, the book's not even 208 pages. It's 180 of body text. Kind of slim, especially at list price of 22.95.)
But, there's the more serious reasons I can't rate this higher. (And, how I can even sympathize with one or two two-star readers who didn't feel engaged by the second half.)
Chris notes the power of "story." Well, I see a few "disconnects" here and there, for one thing.
Related to that, some of those "disconnects" make me wonder just how much of an atheist he is, and if, to the degree he is one, this is just one stop on the road of his being a "seeker" of some sort.
Here's some excerpts from a long blog post I've written about the book.
1. Chris clearly was an "old soul" as a kid. I relate. He was also naive as a kid, at times, it seems. Maybe even clueless. I also relate. However, he also doesn't always seem aware of that in hindsight. That is shown in part by ...
2. The first time he visited a conservative church, he talks about how felt "moved" by the embrace from the "welcomer," and he later notes that was probably a budding gay sexuality issue. However, he never explicitly says that that was part of why he joined the church.
3. He joined this church for community. Only later did social justice drives arise. Since he had gotten his mom more interested in church then, why didn't they go back to her family's Methodism?
4. His dad gets almost no mention. Yes, his parents divorced, but it seems Chris as at least 10 when that happened. What was, and is, their relationship? Good, bad, nonexistent?
5. Another family issue. If Chris had gotten his mom more involved at that conservative evangelical church, how did she know to have him talk to this particular liberal Lutheran minister immediately after she read his journal? Did she already suspect he was gay? Chris gives us no background.
5A. It's depersonalized in other ways; we never hear names of his siblings and other things. None of their reactions to his "journey" are related to us. For that matter, neither is his mom's reaction.
6. Was Chris really "that much" of an atheist in his early years after "coming out"? Several things in teh book tell me now. He says that, at the end of his undergrad time at Augsburg, he felt jealous of progressive theologians, and he felt angry that he couldn't be and believe the same. He went to a graduate divinity school. And, after getting to Chicago, he only discovers "atheist community" after a full year of active involvement with Interfaith Youth Core?
Chris, Minneapolis is a big and diverse enough place; Chicago even more so. It sounds like "atheist community" was not that important to you, at least not until after extensive involvement with Interfaith Youth Core; is there a marketing/branding related issue? And, related to that we have:
7. A comment like this, page 130:
Anyone who looked remotely religious ... was given a suspicious sideways glance by my nonreligious friends as they went outside for their continual cigarette breaks.
Sorry, but I find that last clause gratuitous, even gratuitous with baggage.
For more of these thoughts, please visit my blog post at http://socraticgadfly.blogspot.com/2012/11/so-how-good-is-faitheist-whats-it-about.html
I reserve the right to bump the rating back up, but, as I write further and put some of it on my blog, too .... I've moved this down to 2 stars. The more and more I think about some of the "depersonalization" aspects of the book, not just vis-a-vis his family but primarily there, I just had to do that.
emiged's review
4.0
In all my recent interfaith activities and efforts and self-education, I'm embarrassed to admit that I overlooked one important group: atheists.
Now, it may seem somewhat contradictory to include those who have no religious faith when contemplating an interfaith group, but in Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious, Mr. Stedman defends his perspective, and his interfaith activism, well. As an atheist himself, he says, "we want to be taken seriously, to be seen as equally ethical individuals" in the midst of a "nation full of believers of all stripes." Mr. Stedman identifies as a humanist who believes in "a progressive philosophy of life that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity."
My first exposure to an atheistic existentialist perspective came during my theatre class in high school when we read Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit. The basic outline, for those of you who missed it in your high school or college literature classes, is fairly simple. Three people, Garcin, Ines, and Estelle, have been assigned to share a room for all eternity as punishment for their deeds during life. As is fitting for a hotel room in hell, they make each other miserable. And they made me miserable, too.
Read the rest of this review on my blog at Build Enough Bookshelves.
Now, it may seem somewhat contradictory to include those who have no religious faith when contemplating an interfaith group, but in Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious, Mr. Stedman defends his perspective, and his interfaith activism, well. As an atheist himself, he says, "we want to be taken seriously, to be seen as equally ethical individuals" in the midst of a "nation full of believers of all stripes." Mr. Stedman identifies as a humanist who believes in "a progressive philosophy of life that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity."
My first exposure to an atheistic existentialist perspective came during my theatre class in high school when we read Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit. The basic outline, for those of you who missed it in your high school or college literature classes, is fairly simple. Three people, Garcin, Ines, and Estelle, have been assigned to share a room for all eternity as punishment for their deeds during life. As is fitting for a hotel room in hell, they make each other miserable. And they made me miserable, too.
Read the rest of this review on my blog at Build Enough Bookshelves.
mscott's review
4.0
I wasn't sure I'd like this book but it managed to pull me in and got me to thinking about the whole idea of being religious, even if that wasn't the intent of the author. Makes me want to be a better person and take the negative I feel about religion in general and find the positive.
jmanchester0's review
4.0
I'm not sure what I expected - but I think that I thought that this was going to be a clinical discussion on how to find a path to bridge secular Humanism and religion - which both have, as their root, very similar values.
But instead, it's a story. Chris Stedman's story of his exploration of Christianity, of atheism, and that he found how he could build that bridge. This story is told from a unique and fascinating perspective, and it's a great book about faith. Ironically, a book by an atheist helped me to reevaluate the good that can be found in religion, at a time that (as a follower of Jesus), I'm being jaded by organized religion. It helped me to remember that, as I believe Jesus would say, it's all about the people. (Even though it's people who are extremists and are tearing the good things out of religion.)
And he finishes with why we should all work together to make a better world. And why not? Are atheists so afraid of believers? Are people of religion so afraid of non-believers? Why shouldn't we all work together when we want the same goal? Getting rid of religious extremism and helping people are worthy goals! Let's set aside our differences. Plus, the dialogue is important in and of itself. To understand each other - that's a huge side effect.
Worth reading.
But instead, it's a story. Chris Stedman's story of his exploration of Christianity, of atheism, and that he found how he could build that bridge. This story is told from a unique and fascinating perspective, and it's a great book about faith. Ironically, a book by an atheist helped me to reevaluate the good that can be found in religion, at a time that (as a follower of Jesus), I'm being jaded by organized religion. It helped me to remember that, as I believe Jesus would say, it's all about the people. (Even though it's people who are extremists and are tearing the good things out of religion.)
And he finishes with why we should all work together to make a better world. And why not? Are atheists so afraid of believers? Are people of religion so afraid of non-believers? Why shouldn't we all work together when we want the same goal? Getting rid of religious extremism and helping people are worthy goals! Let's set aside our differences. Plus, the dialogue is important in and of itself. To understand each other - that's a huge side effect.
Worth reading.