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945 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
945 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
I’ve never thought of WBC as fascinating, but to live in the mainstream as a cult is quite an accomplishment. But also, fuck them. I’m so happy Megan Phelps-Roper left. That took immense courage. But, though this memoir starts strong, it becomes repetitive and boring. It’s much too long. Tightened up, it would’ve been a fantastic essay.
Interesting insight into life in the Westboro Baptist Church. Found it a little slow in the second half but it reads more as perhaps an acknowledgement of what she had done and closure for herself than necessarily for the reader and I can appreciate that.
This was a really interesting read/listen. The author also read the audiobook and did a good job!
It was truly fascinating to get a little peek into this mini cult. And trust me, it is super super culty. It just doesn't focus on membership as so many other cults do. It was so interesting to hear the viewpoint of such an evil group from someone who grew up inside it. The closeness of her immediate family and her love for them in spite of their evil acts. I can't know if the author sugar coated any of her own personal actions or beliefs, but it seemed she was fairly brutal about the things she did and her beliefs while in the church.
The truly fascinating thing is realizing not only how difficult to is to deprogram someone, but how many factors there are. It wasn't just one or two things that drew the author out of the cult, but many, compounding and building up over the years. Interestingly the one that seems to have done the most was when things began to change within the church and screwed over her family personally. That seemed to be what finally pushed her over the edge. And I can't hold that against her because I think we're all a bit that way. It often isn't until something concerns us personally that we begin to see the wrong-ness of a situation or take action. I think that's just how humans work. Once the church turned against her family and took away a lot of her liberty and status she was able to finally give in to the niggling doubts and the dissenting voices she had been able to ignore while she was valued and treated well.
The only thing that disappointed me a little was that I was hoping for just a bit more about the outside influences that spurred her. The actual interactions that helped change her mind. Certainly she included a few key people, but I was hoping for more. Likely it was because she would have needed permission to use these peoples' names/words in this book and she was unable to obtain them, or it was too much hassle to do so.
Overall an interesting read with a straight forward, easy to read style.
It was truly fascinating to get a little peek into this mini cult. And trust me, it is super super culty. It just doesn't focus on membership as so many other cults do. It was so interesting to hear the viewpoint of such an evil group from someone who grew up inside it. The closeness of her immediate family and her love for them in spite of their evil acts. I can't know if the author sugar coated any of her own personal actions or beliefs, but it seemed she was fairly brutal about the things she did and her beliefs while in the church.
The truly fascinating thing is realizing not only how difficult to is to deprogram someone, but how many factors there are. It wasn't just one or two things that drew the author out of the cult, but many, compounding and building up over the years. Interestingly the one that seems to have done the most was when things began to change within the church and screwed over her family personally. That seemed to be what finally pushed her over the edge. And I can't hold that against her because I think we're all a bit that way. It often isn't until something concerns us personally that we begin to see the wrong-ness of a situation or take action. I think that's just how humans work. Once the church turned against her family and took away a lot of her liberty and status she was able to finally give in to the niggling doubts and the dissenting voices she had been able to ignore while she was valued and treated well.
The only thing that disappointed me a little was that I was hoping for just a bit more about the outside influences that spurred her. The actual interactions that helped change her mind. Certainly she included a few key people, but I was hoping for more. Likely it was because she would have needed permission to use these peoples' names/words in this book and she was unable to obtain them, or it was too much hassle to do so.
Overall an interesting read with a straight forward, easy to read style.
slow-paced
First appeared at https://www.thenewdorkreviewofbooks.com/2019/12/running-with-sherman-and-unfollow.html
This story is insane. It's also insanely well-written, wise, and courageous. I actually stumbled across the book on the Nonfiction New Releases shelf at RoscoeBooks, knew nothing about it, but when I saw the subtitle — A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church —I knew immediately it was something I had to read.
So you've no-doubt heard of — and likely been disgusted by — Topeka's Westboro Baptist Church. They're a group of terrible humans who began protesting against homosexuals, and soon gained despicable notoriety for picketing soldiers' funerals and other high-profile events.
Megan is raised in this wretched environment since birth. Through the 1990s (she's only 6 years old in 1992 when the church first starts protesting), she participates in everything the church, founded by her grandfather, Fred Phelps, does. As the social media era dawns, Megan in her early 20s becomes the church's de facto Twitter guru, even arguing with celebrities like Kevin Smith about the church's doctrine and practices.
But the highlight here is the moment of Megan's catharsis in her late 20s. Not often do you see such a moment of revelation so clearly written. She is painting with her sister, and starts to wonder, in an almost zen-like moment, if what the church is doing to her mother — they're basically shunning her for some imagined transgressions — isn't exactly what the church as a whole is doing to everyone else. And they're doing this based on faulty doctrine. After a bit, she and her sister make the immensely difficult and courageous decision to leave the church and her family.
Near the end of the book, she includes a long discussion about doubt vs. certainty (the benefit of the former, and the danger of the latter), and this was one of my favorite parts of the book. After Megan leaves the church, she travels around speaking about her experience and her moment of revelation, and she finds people mostly forgiving of her. But like Tara Westover in Educated, she can never quite quit her family. This is always so hard to understand. Yes, they're her family, and all she ever known, and she loves them, but also, they subjected her to what amounts to child abuse, raising her in this rigid hateful church.
So then the questions is: How much do you blame someone for the terrible things they did when, for all intents and purposes, they didn't have a choice, they were ostensibly brainwashed? Even though Westboro actually prized education for its members, this idea of insulation is why so many cults fear education — they fear their followers will see the world for how it really is, and not their narrow-minded, tightly controlled indoctrinated view. To me, this is fascinating — how people come to these realizations that the world is different than they'd always been taught. It takes an immense amount of courage to turn your back on a lifetime of belief.
This book is really terrific, and highly recommended if you were a fan of Educated, or if, like me, you're a fan of the "losing my religion" story.
This story is insane. It's also insanely well-written, wise, and courageous. I actually stumbled across the book on the Nonfiction New Releases shelf at RoscoeBooks, knew nothing about it, but when I saw the subtitle — A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church —I knew immediately it was something I had to read.
So you've no-doubt heard of — and likely been disgusted by — Topeka's Westboro Baptist Church. They're a group of terrible humans who began protesting against homosexuals, and soon gained despicable notoriety for picketing soldiers' funerals and other high-profile events.
Megan is raised in this wretched environment since birth. Through the 1990s (she's only 6 years old in 1992 when the church first starts protesting), she participates in everything the church, founded by her grandfather, Fred Phelps, does. As the social media era dawns, Megan in her early 20s becomes the church's de facto Twitter guru, even arguing with celebrities like Kevin Smith about the church's doctrine and practices.
But the highlight here is the moment of Megan's catharsis in her late 20s. Not often do you see such a moment of revelation so clearly written. She is painting with her sister, and starts to wonder, in an almost zen-like moment, if what the church is doing to her mother — they're basically shunning her for some imagined transgressions — isn't exactly what the church as a whole is doing to everyone else. And they're doing this based on faulty doctrine. After a bit, she and her sister make the immensely difficult and courageous decision to leave the church and her family.
Near the end of the book, she includes a long discussion about doubt vs. certainty (the benefit of the former, and the danger of the latter), and this was one of my favorite parts of the book. After Megan leaves the church, she travels around speaking about her experience and her moment of revelation, and she finds people mostly forgiving of her. But like Tara Westover in Educated, she can never quite quit her family. This is always so hard to understand. Yes, they're her family, and all she ever known, and she loves them, but also, they subjected her to what amounts to child abuse, raising her in this rigid hateful church.
So then the questions is: How much do you blame someone for the terrible things they did when, for all intents and purposes, they didn't have a choice, they were ostensibly brainwashed? Even though Westboro actually prized education for its members, this idea of insulation is why so many cults fear education — they fear their followers will see the world for how it really is, and not their narrow-minded, tightly controlled indoctrinated view. To me, this is fascinating — how people come to these realizations that the world is different than they'd always been taught. It takes an immense amount of courage to turn your back on a lifetime of belief.
This book is really terrific, and highly recommended if you were a fan of Educated, or if, like me, you're a fan of the "losing my religion" story.
Megan has an important message and her story is unique, but overall it was a little flat. The messages at the end were important and worth chewing over.
Even though I've never met her, I am weirdly so proud of Megan!! Also I became a little obsessed with the Westboro Baptist Church and Megan. After watching every video on YouTube I could find of her and her family, including her TedTalk which was amazing, I bought her book to read too. I love how she was able to completely change her thinking and her being, and focus her energy and life on being kind instead of hating others. One of the main takeaways for me was the concept of epistemic humility- being able to be humble about what we think we know, and being willing to recognize that we don't have all the answers.
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced