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946 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
946 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
Hi. I'm Laura from Chapter 8. This is NOT an unbiased review.
Some framework: I have the great privilege and pleasure to call Megan a beloved friend. I have been by her side - always metaphorically, sometimes literally - since the events of Chapter 8. As a person, I find Megan to be one of the most vibrant, passionate, and brave human beings I have ever met. The strength it took her to not only survive all the events of this book, but also to be the driving force behind them, takes my breath away. The strength she continues to display as she takes on the world and the Westboro Baptist Church, one TED Talk, one conference panel, one joyfully lived day at a time, leaves me in awe.
Okay. Enough love letter. Let's talk about this book.
I read a lot of early chapter drafts. Before reading this book as a completed whole, I knew what it was about. I knew its themes and history and narrative style. I have admired Megan's writing since the very first draft I read. Her language flows lyrically, I am jealous of her vocabulary. She really is as fast-talking in real life as the book implies, but in writing her words can keep up with the speed of her thoughts, and from those words she spins out love, heartache, and resolution, all in equal measure.
No amount of draft-reading could have prepared me for the impact the book would have on me, read as a cohesive whole. I actually didn't mean to pick it up and read it straight through just now. I picked it up to admire its completion and to feel what it was like now that it was an actual book. My eyes caught on the opening lines. I found myself skimming through chapter one, and by chapter two I was properly reading and couldn't put it down. I already knew the whole story. I knew the plot twists, I knew the ending. I read anyway, gobbling it up as if it were the first time.
The early chapters contain a lot of background. There's something very disconcerting and occasionally even repulsive, reading about the history and tactics of the WBC from the perspective of someone deeply entrenched, someone who not only knew the doctrines but lived for them, reveled in them. The unabashedness with which Megan could shout mockery and insults evokes a kind of visceral repulsion, and knowing that it was her loving family that trained her up in these ways of callous cruelty doubles the discomfiture. Seeing how the public preaching tactics sat hand-in-hand with the warmth and love that the Phelps family displayed to each other is downright disconcerting.
Once Megan shifts from reporting on the history of her family/church to telling of how her own mind engaged with their teachings and began slowly unraveling the precepts she'd held firm all her life, the real humanity of her situation becomes apparent. It seems impossible that such love and such cruelty could live together in the same heart, and it seems obvious that such a mental paradox would eventually have to give way under its own weight, but most of us have never been so thoroughly trapped by our circumstances. The cost of disobedience and rebellion for Megan was not just high, it was everything. By the end of chapter 7, I was in tears. I've known loss to death less painful than the loss Megan describes of her living family, and you feel her loss in every word.
I couldn't help but imagine how her family would feel reading this book. Will they read it? Can they get past the ugliness of plain truths that they will feel, instead, as lies and slander? Will they be able to feel Megan's love of them, her desperate desire to save them from themselves and have them back in her life? Can they even get an inkling, through the indoctrination that would inform such a reading, of her deep sincerity?
I hope so.
Throughout the book, Megan shows us plainly the workings of her mind and heart - the ways she struggled to understand herself, her family, and their places in the world. Megan doesn't just observe the events that shaped her - she passes judgment on the actions of her family, and on her own past actions as well. But she also comes away with a sense of purpose and determination to make changes for the better.
I have learned so much from Megan about what it means to love, to lose, and to continue loving. I have learned resilience from her, and boundless hope. I have learned, above and beyond all, the earth-shattering importance of learning how to change your mind.
I can't wait for the rest of you to read this book.
Some framework: I have the great privilege and pleasure to call Megan a beloved friend. I have been by her side - always metaphorically, sometimes literally - since the events of Chapter 8. As a person, I find Megan to be one of the most vibrant, passionate, and brave human beings I have ever met. The strength it took her to not only survive all the events of this book, but also to be the driving force behind them, takes my breath away. The strength she continues to display as she takes on the world and the Westboro Baptist Church, one TED Talk, one conference panel, one joyfully lived day at a time, leaves me in awe.
Okay. Enough love letter. Let's talk about this book.
I read a lot of early chapter drafts. Before reading this book as a completed whole, I knew what it was about. I knew its themes and history and narrative style. I have admired Megan's writing since the very first draft I read. Her language flows lyrically, I am jealous of her vocabulary. She really is as fast-talking in real life as the book implies, but in writing her words can keep up with the speed of her thoughts, and from those words she spins out love, heartache, and resolution, all in equal measure.
No amount of draft-reading could have prepared me for the impact the book would have on me, read as a cohesive whole. I actually didn't mean to pick it up and read it straight through just now. I picked it up to admire its completion and to feel what it was like now that it was an actual book. My eyes caught on the opening lines. I found myself skimming through chapter one, and by chapter two I was properly reading and couldn't put it down. I already knew the whole story. I knew the plot twists, I knew the ending. I read anyway, gobbling it up as if it were the first time.
The early chapters contain a lot of background. There's something very disconcerting and occasionally even repulsive, reading about the history and tactics of the WBC from the perspective of someone deeply entrenched, someone who not only knew the doctrines but lived for them, reveled in them. The unabashedness with which Megan could shout mockery and insults evokes a kind of visceral repulsion, and knowing that it was her loving family that trained her up in these ways of callous cruelty doubles the discomfiture. Seeing how the public preaching tactics sat hand-in-hand with the warmth and love that the Phelps family displayed to each other is downright disconcerting.
Once Megan shifts from reporting on the history of her family/church to telling of how her own mind engaged with their teachings and began slowly unraveling the precepts she'd held firm all her life, the real humanity of her situation becomes apparent. It seems impossible that such love and such cruelty could live together in the same heart, and it seems obvious that such a mental paradox would eventually have to give way under its own weight, but most of us have never been so thoroughly trapped by our circumstances. The cost of disobedience and rebellion for Megan was not just high, it was everything. By the end of chapter 7, I was in tears. I've known loss to death less painful than the loss Megan describes of her living family, and you feel her loss in every word.
I couldn't help but imagine how her family would feel reading this book. Will they read it? Can they get past the ugliness of plain truths that they will feel, instead, as lies and slander? Will they be able to feel Megan's love of them, her desperate desire to save them from themselves and have them back in her life? Can they even get an inkling, through the indoctrination that would inform such a reading, of her deep sincerity?
I hope so.
Throughout the book, Megan shows us plainly the workings of her mind and heart - the ways she struggled to understand herself, her family, and their places in the world. Megan doesn't just observe the events that shaped her - she passes judgment on the actions of her family, and on her own past actions as well. But she also comes away with a sense of purpose and determination to make changes for the better.
I have learned so much from Megan about what it means to love, to lose, and to continue loving. I have learned resilience from her, and boundless hope. I have learned, above and beyond all, the earth-shattering importance of learning how to change your mind.
I can't wait for the rest of you to read this book.
Such an interesting and insightful read. Megan writes really well and I so often wanted to keep reading just to know a little bit more about her and her families lives.
Full of heart
When I first placed a hold on Unfollow, I didn't give too much thought as to what Unfollow was going to do to me emotionally.
Unfollow takes us through the life of Megan Phelps-Roper, and the church she had grown up in. This means we get to see the cult-like atmosphere of the church, and the fact that the church mostly contained family.
Unfollow is heart-breaking and thought-provoking. Everyone should read it, if only to see the change of heart and growth of one of the ex-members of the Westboro Baptist Church.
When I first placed a hold on Unfollow, I didn't give too much thought as to what Unfollow was going to do to me emotionally.
Unfollow takes us through the life of Megan Phelps-Roper, and the church she had grown up in. This means we get to see the cult-like atmosphere of the church, and the fact that the church mostly contained family.
Unfollow is heart-breaking and thought-provoking. Everyone should read it, if only to see the change of heart and growth of one of the ex-members of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Really insightful look into what it's like to leave a cult, I mean, church, but to still hold love in your heart for those that abandoned you or disappointed you. Fascinating to watch Megan's deconstruction of her faith and the Bible.
It took me a bit to get into this, but once I did I couldn't put it down.
I was supposed to read this with my sister, but I ended up devouring it in 3 days. That was with me trying not to read fast. This book brought up thoughts and feelings that I don't think I otherwise would have ever had. Seeing things from Megan's perspective was empowering and eye-opening. This is a must-read.
Appreciated the message overall, but I found it very difficult to relate to most of the content on a personal level (especially the first ~half, before she leaves the WBC). The discussion of the author's change in belief system/transition process leading up to and after leaving felt pretty surface-level and I wanted more depth there (although this could just be my lack of understanding of how important religion had been to her) as well as more focus on the takeaways for the rest of us, which was really only addressed in a few pages towards the end.
An honest introspection on faith and family when both become warped and in-tangled. Proud that this beautiful read is the 2020 One Book for South Dakota.
I found this book very difficult to read, even though I knew how it would end. The actions of the WBC are hard to imagine and understand. However, I think it’s important to read books that are not easy so we can scrutinize our own biases and work to be better than the opinions we hold. Thank you Megan Phelps-Roper for sharing your story.