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donovangleeson's review against another edition
3.0
Recommended by a former professor I was talking with about the importance of committed relationships, and difficulty of obtaining them without marriage specifically.
Setting aside Hill’s theological position and specific motivation for the book, it’s an interesting exploration of the importance of friendship, especially as it relates to modern society’s (including the global church’s) glorification of marriage over any other relationship. For its thoughts on that topic specifically (which is why I read it), it’s 4.5/5 stars. Second half of the book was less valuable. 2.5/5.
Setting aside Hill’s theological position and specific motivation for the book, it’s an interesting exploration of the importance of friendship, especially as it relates to modern society’s (including the global church’s) glorification of marriage over any other relationship. For its thoughts on that topic specifically (which is why I read it), it’s 4.5/5 stars. Second half of the book was less valuable. 2.5/5.
adamrshields's review against another edition
4.0
Short Review: This is a good followup and I think natural next step after Hill's first book. I think he is largely right that we need deep friendships and that the church should be facilitating and encouraging deep friendships. This is memoir-ish look at friendship because this is largely Hill's own story. Because he is Gay this look at friendship is through the lens of same sex friendship, but I think it is easy to see similar insights with cross gender and same sex (but straight) friendships as well.
This is s a quick read but well worth reading. I started Hill's academic book on Paul and the Trinity but put it down (new parent lack of sleep problems). This encourages me to pick it up sooner rather than later.
My full review is on my blog at http://bookwi.se/spiritual-friendship/
This is s a quick read but well worth reading. I started Hill's academic book on Paul and the Trinity but put it down (new parent lack of sleep problems). This encourages me to pick it up sooner rather than later.
My full review is on my blog at http://bookwi.se/spiritual-friendship/
gjones19's review against another edition
4.0
I love Wesley Hill. I think he’s written a compelling and corrective word to the Church about the state of friendship. If we were to engage friendship in this deeper way, we would be transformed.
This book also had me very emotional. Reading about the experience of gay Christians who are attempting to live celibate is important for developing empathy.
This book also had me very emotional. Reading about the experience of gay Christians who are attempting to live celibate is important for developing empathy.
lilyevangeline's review against another edition
4.0
Just yes it also no but also yes. Good thoughts bro
mjoyner's review against another edition
5.0
I will be recommending Spiritual Friendship to everyone I meet, whether they're married or single or something in between. His message is so, so important, and his prose just so happens to be lovely and easy on the eyes, even for someone like me who struggles with nonfiction.
Where Hill really succeeds is his unique writing approach. Most of the expository nonfiction I've read projects contagious confidence; the author has done all the research and means to answer every question in one fell swoop. You're meant to come away with a concrete sense of what you had wrong and what you should change. For better or worse, Wesley Hill does not do that.
Instead of confidence, Hill feeds you passion and empathy. Stories, from his own life as well as the lives of historic Christians, pad out his argument regarding the issue of loneliness and the hope of friendship. And then, when he's convinced you to care, he gives you a direction to explore and lets your hand go. Maybe this will infuriate some people, but I find that it accomplishes Hill's goal perfectly, whether he meant it to or not. Perhaps Hill doesn't give us all the answers because he wants us to go out into community and figure it out with others. Perhaps, instead of getting annoyed that he didn't address every question, we're meant to call up a friend and ask them to help puzzle out an answer.
It's a romantic notion, I know, but I just sincerely appreciate how Hill connects form and function so elegantly. And I love the idea of a book about friendship that forces you to talk to others.
Where Hill really succeeds is his unique writing approach. Most of the expository nonfiction I've read projects contagious confidence; the author has done all the research and means to answer every question in one fell swoop. You're meant to come away with a concrete sense of what you had wrong and what you should change. For better or worse, Wesley Hill does not do that.
Instead of confidence, Hill feeds you passion and empathy. Stories, from his own life as well as the lives of historic Christians, pad out his argument regarding the issue of loneliness and the hope of friendship. And then, when he's convinced you to care, he gives you a direction to explore and lets your hand go. Maybe this will infuriate some people, but I find that it accomplishes Hill's goal perfectly, whether he meant it to or not. Perhaps Hill doesn't give us all the answers because he wants us to go out into community and figure it out with others. Perhaps, instead of getting annoyed that he didn't address every question, we're meant to call up a friend and ask them to help puzzle out an answer.
It's a romantic notion, I know, but I just sincerely appreciate how Hill connects form and function so elegantly. And I love the idea of a book about friendship that forces you to talk to others.
scshaffer's review against another edition
5.0
We had a saying about family when I was growing up: “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives.” While this saying is meant to indicate the value and permanence of family, it also captures our culture’s understanding of friendship. Friendship is the freest of all relationships. Unfettered by obligation, it exists only for the mutual benefit and pleasure of its participants. However, the ‘free’ nature of friendship also means it can be fragile and often under-valued.
In his short volume, Spiritual Friendship, Wesley Hill seeks to reclaim friendship as a committed, long-term relationship. He laments how friendship has changed and been weakened in modern times. Hill, a celibate gay Christian and author of Washed and Waiting, notes that his initial interest in a reexamination of friendship came as he sought community and intimacy outside of sexual relationships. The traditional place for intimacy – marriage – is not a faithful option for him, but he does not believe this relegates him to a life without true intimacy. Instead, he argues that all of us – married or single, gay or straight – need the kind of intimacy we find in friendship. However, he perceives that friendship has been weakened in our culture as intimacy has been reduced to sexual intimacy.
In the first section of the book, Hill traces the history of friendship and its eclipse in modern western culture. He then points to historical resources in the culture and in Christian tradition that advocate strong, intimate, yet platonic, friendships. Finally, drawing on the stories of Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, as well as the words of Jesus, Hill demonstrates the biblical foundations and shape of friendship.
The second half of the book explores some of the more practical challenges of friendship. Hill speaks of the constant desire for greater intimacy that we all have, and of how that can be complicated and painful for gay Christians. He repeatedly speaks hopefully about the joys and benefits that come with intimate friendships, but, in a sobering chapter, also recognizes that friends are called to suffer for one another. He concludes by outlining some practical steps to strengthen and encourage friendship.
I have been anticipating a book like this for a long time. I was hopeful that Hill would be able to articulate a powerful and biblical vision for friendship to a culture starved for meaningful relationships. Spiritual Friendship delivers on this promise. With accuracy and artistry, Hill’s work echoes many of my own concerns about the state of intimate, yet non-sexual, friendship, and my hopes for its recovery. The church needs to recover and reestablish ways of speaking about non-sexual relationships, particularly as we are brothers and sisters to people for whom sexual intimacy is not a present reality. Even for those who are married, non-sexual relationships are vital for being part of the body of Christ. Spiritual Friendship pushes this vision even further as it challenges the church to see friendships as a commitment equal to, but different than, marriage.
While Hill speaks with hope and joy about friendship, he is also refreshingly honest about its challenges. It won't not fix all our insecurities nor will it ease all our fears. We will still live with longing until Christ returns. Even our friendships will be marked by sacrifice as we await Christ’s coming. Jesus himself said that the greatest love is expressed in laying down your life for your friends (John 15:13). Sacrifice and suffering are part of friendship this side of Christ’s return.
Spiritual Friendship is a book for all of us who long for deeper friendships. It speaks wisely, accessibly, and hopefully about the possibilities of friendship. In a world where you can make ‘Friends’ with the click of a button, we all need more of Hill’s vision for a renewed commitment to life-long Christian friendships.
In his short volume, Spiritual Friendship, Wesley Hill seeks to reclaim friendship as a committed, long-term relationship. He laments how friendship has changed and been weakened in modern times. Hill, a celibate gay Christian and author of Washed and Waiting, notes that his initial interest in a reexamination of friendship came as he sought community and intimacy outside of sexual relationships. The traditional place for intimacy – marriage – is not a faithful option for him, but he does not believe this relegates him to a life without true intimacy. Instead, he argues that all of us – married or single, gay or straight – need the kind of intimacy we find in friendship. However, he perceives that friendship has been weakened in our culture as intimacy has been reduced to sexual intimacy.
In the first section of the book, Hill traces the history of friendship and its eclipse in modern western culture. He then points to historical resources in the culture and in Christian tradition that advocate strong, intimate, yet platonic, friendships. Finally, drawing on the stories of Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, as well as the words of Jesus, Hill demonstrates the biblical foundations and shape of friendship.
The second half of the book explores some of the more practical challenges of friendship. Hill speaks of the constant desire for greater intimacy that we all have, and of how that can be complicated and painful for gay Christians. He repeatedly speaks hopefully about the joys and benefits that come with intimate friendships, but, in a sobering chapter, also recognizes that friends are called to suffer for one another. He concludes by outlining some practical steps to strengthen and encourage friendship.
I have been anticipating a book like this for a long time. I was hopeful that Hill would be able to articulate a powerful and biblical vision for friendship to a culture starved for meaningful relationships. Spiritual Friendship delivers on this promise. With accuracy and artistry, Hill’s work echoes many of my own concerns about the state of intimate, yet non-sexual, friendship, and my hopes for its recovery. The church needs to recover and reestablish ways of speaking about non-sexual relationships, particularly as we are brothers and sisters to people for whom sexual intimacy is not a present reality. Even for those who are married, non-sexual relationships are vital for being part of the body of Christ. Spiritual Friendship pushes this vision even further as it challenges the church to see friendships as a commitment equal to, but different than, marriage.
While Hill speaks with hope and joy about friendship, he is also refreshingly honest about its challenges. It won't not fix all our insecurities nor will it ease all our fears. We will still live with longing until Christ returns. Even our friendships will be marked by sacrifice as we await Christ’s coming. Jesus himself said that the greatest love is expressed in laying down your life for your friends (John 15:13). Sacrifice and suffering are part of friendship this side of Christ’s return.
Spiritual Friendship is a book for all of us who long for deeper friendships. It speaks wisely, accessibly, and hopefully about the possibilities of friendship. In a world where you can make ‘Friends’ with the click of a button, we all need more of Hill’s vision for a renewed commitment to life-long Christian friendships.
aarikdanielsen's review against another edition
5.0
A remarkable and sorely-needed book. A must-read on the beauties and challenges of friendship for anyone regardless of age, gender, relationship status, etc.