You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.26 AVERAGE
4.26 AVERAGE
Honestly, I think I'm just not in the mood to read a story with a heavy religious setting. Hopefully I'll come back to it.
ARC of Vespertine provided by the authors in exchange for an honest review. This review has been cross-posted at Reviews by Jessewave
In general, I don't like to read religious themed books. All the guilt and hate (both self-loathing and hate directed at the MC's) just makes my heart hurt. Sometimes, though, I feel compelled to make an exception, when it's an author that I know I like and I am willing to take the chance. I'm so glad I read this book! Vespertine totally blew me away!
This review may get a bit wordier than my normal, just to warn you. As I read Vespertine, I found myself having a lot to say about the characters, especially Jasper, so buckle up folks, this could be a long one.
Father Jasper Hendricks is a deeply religious man. He’s always found a lot of comfort in his beliefs and the rituals of Catholicism. Growing up gay and Catholic was undoubtedly difficult for him, but he still managed to find peace. Jasper and Nicholas Blumfeld were best friends from the moment they met, and the summer they were both seventeen, they became much more. Two boys in love and finding their way.
Jasper was conflicted, though. He felt a calling to go into the priesthood. And due to some outside influence, he decided to pursue that path, leaving Nicky behind. Seventeen years later, Jasper has a congregation of his own. He’s out as a gay man, but as a man of the cloth, he is celibate. He is very unconventional. Very modern in his thinking. And he is able to reconcile his faith with his orientation (humans are quite adept at compartmentalization when they want to be).
In spite of the good Jasper does, he still finds himself at odds with the church due to their stance on homosexuality. He is tolerated only so long as he does not rock the boat too much. He managed to get approval to open a LGBTQ group home for kids in the foster system and he runs it his way, for the most part. But now, the Archbishop is trying to use it to control Jasper, under the threat of losing the support of the church for the center. It’s despicable, really.
And now that Nicky is back, Jasper’s conflicts are back in spades. He’s now questioning the path he chose. Honestly, I think the only reason he has been able to stay a priest is because Nicky wasn't around and he didn't give himself the opportunity to let someone else under his skin.
Nicholas Blumfeld is one messed up man. He was found when he was a few days old, after being left for dead in a dumpster by his drug addicted mother. That experience left him with attachment disorder and he always had trouble bonding with people – except for Jazz. Nicky has always felt as if he was on the outside. And to make matters worse, so many people treat him like he's not good enough. Always judging. Everyone except his parents and Jazz wrote him off as “trouble”. Nicky and Jazz were inseparable, growing up. They were best friends, always together and they made each other happy.
As an adult, Nicky is a burnt out, drug addicted musician. Ever since Jazz left him to join the priesthood when they were teenagers, Nicky has done his best to self-destruct. Where once, his music soothed his soul and gave him life, now he just sees it all as a burden. After coming out of rehab, Nicky went home to Little Heights, Maine to stay with his parents while he got his footing again. Intending to build a bridge, and in spite of the fact that he has never believed in god, Nicky went to confession when he knew he would find Jazz. But he hadn't let go of his anger or his hurt and he kind of made a mess of things.
Well, Nicky is definitely angry and more than a little broken. And he has many doubts as to if he will be able to fix himself. Nicky wants to be a good man, but he’s afraid he doesn’t have it in him. He’s made so many bad decisions, and some of them nearly killed him, he’s scared. But the truth is, he is a good man who has not always had the support system he needed in order to cope with the pressure of being in the limelight. And because of his many emotional issues growing up, he was poised to self-destruct before he was even out of the gate. When he shows the truth of his heart, though, he is beautiful. He wants to make the world a better place. And reconnecting with Jazz, even platonically, was so good for them both.
Making his way through his anger and deciding to accept help from Jazz reignited something long dormant within them both. Having their foundation of lifelong friendship and respect helps them both find their way. And though I would agree that their belief systems are pretty incompatible, I’d also say that it really depends on the people involved. Jazz and Nicky have always had a connection. Jazz sees his god in that connection. Nicky sees only Jazz. And what they have is just so beautiful; I want to believe they can make it. And I do.
When Nicky is with Jazz, he feels whole. He feels strong. Jazz is his center, his beacon. Through all the heartache and anger, there is still so much love between them, it’s palpable. It’s always been Jazz and it will always be Jazz that Nicky would choose.
I highly recommend Vespertine.
In general, I don't like to read religious themed books. All the guilt and hate (both self-loathing and hate directed at the MC's) just makes my heart hurt. Sometimes, though, I feel compelled to make an exception, when it's an author that I know I like and I am willing to take the chance. I'm so glad I read this book! Vespertine totally blew me away!
This review may get a bit wordier than my normal, just to warn you. As I read Vespertine, I found myself having a lot to say about the characters, especially Jasper, so buckle up folks, this could be a long one.
Father Jasper Hendricks is a deeply religious man. He’s always found a lot of comfort in his beliefs and the rituals of Catholicism. Growing up gay and Catholic was undoubtedly difficult for him, but he still managed to find peace. Jasper and Nicholas Blumfeld were best friends from the moment they met, and the summer they were both seventeen, they became much more. Two boys in love and finding their way.
Jasper was conflicted, though. He felt a calling to go into the priesthood. And due to some outside influence, he decided to pursue that path, leaving Nicky behind. Seventeen years later, Jasper has a congregation of his own. He’s out as a gay man, but as a man of the cloth, he is celibate. He is very unconventional. Very modern in his thinking. And he is able to reconcile his faith with his orientation (humans are quite adept at compartmentalization when they want to be).
In spite of the good Jasper does, he still finds himself at odds with the church due to their stance on homosexuality. He is tolerated only so long as he does not rock the boat too much. He managed to get approval to open a LGBTQ group home for kids in the foster system and he runs it his way, for the most part. But now, the Archbishop is trying to use it to control Jasper, under the threat of losing the support of the church for the center. It’s despicable, really.
And now that Nicky is back, Jasper’s conflicts are back in spades. He’s now questioning the path he chose. Honestly, I think the only reason he has been able to stay a priest is because Nicky wasn't around and he didn't give himself the opportunity to let someone else under his skin.
"I always loved you," he whispered. "I can't even pretend I loved God more, back then. Every minute I spend with you now I wonder if my calling wasn't a coward's path. If I shouldn't have grabbed onto your hands and taken that dive with you."
Nicholas Blumfeld is one messed up man. He was found when he was a few days old, after being left for dead in a dumpster by his drug addicted mother. That experience left him with attachment disorder and he always had trouble bonding with people – except for Jazz. Nicky has always felt as if he was on the outside. And to make matters worse, so many people treat him like he's not good enough. Always judging. Everyone except his parents and Jazz wrote him off as “trouble”. Nicky and Jazz were inseparable, growing up. They were best friends, always together and they made each other happy.
As an adult, Nicky is a burnt out, drug addicted musician. Ever since Jazz left him to join the priesthood when they were teenagers, Nicky has done his best to self-destruct. Where once, his music soothed his soul and gave him life, now he just sees it all as a burden. After coming out of rehab, Nicky went home to Little Heights, Maine to stay with his parents while he got his footing again. Intending to build a bridge, and in spite of the fact that he has never believed in god, Nicky went to confession when he knew he would find Jazz. But he hadn't let go of his anger or his hurt and he kind of made a mess of things.
Well, Nicky is definitely angry and more than a little broken. And he has many doubts as to if he will be able to fix himself. Nicky wants to be a good man, but he’s afraid he doesn’t have it in him. He’s made so many bad decisions, and some of them nearly killed him, he’s scared. But the truth is, he is a good man who has not always had the support system he needed in order to cope with the pressure of being in the limelight. And because of his many emotional issues growing up, he was poised to self-destruct before he was even out of the gate. When he shows the truth of his heart, though, he is beautiful. He wants to make the world a better place. And reconnecting with Jazz, even platonically, was so good for them both.
Making his way through his anger and deciding to accept help from Jazz reignited something long dormant within them both. Having their foundation of lifelong friendship and respect helps them both find their way. And though I would agree that their belief systems are pretty incompatible, I’d also say that it really depends on the people involved. Jazz and Nicky have always had a connection. Jazz sees his god in that connection. Nicky sees only Jazz. And what they have is just so beautiful; I want to believe they can make it. And I do.
“I’ll always choose you.”
When Nicky is with Jazz, he feels whole. He feels strong. Jazz is his center, his beacon. Through all the heartache and anger, there is still so much love between them, it’s palpable. It’s always been Jazz and it will always be Jazz that Nicky would choose.
I highly recommend Vespertine.
Independent reviewer for Paranormal Romance and Authors That Rock, I was gifted my copy of this book, in exchange for my review.
2 boys grew up together. Then one made a decision that broke the other's heart. 17 years later, Jasper is a Catholic priest, and Nicky is broken, returning home to get well and find his music again.
The question is, who fixes whom??
I had to sleep on this one, several nights. Why?? I couldn't word what I wanted to say, how to word it. Still can't, not properly. So I apologise if this review waffles, or doesn't make sense.
Nicky and Jazz loved each other as children, as young men, but Jazz left Nicky and Nicky went off to be a rock star. Nicky's management team were not the most....supportive...in fact, they were rather destructive to Nicky and his band members. Nicky found himself spiralling downward at a rapid rate, with a trip to the morgue well on the cards. He comes home, to his parents, to find himself again, to make up for being a bad son for so long. (Nicky's words, not mine) Jazz is the local priest, running a LGBTQ youth shelter.
Their first meeting after 17 years is painful. It hurt me how much Nicky hates Jazz, how much he still loves him. It hurt me how Jazz reacted to Nicky's hurt. It was beautifully, emotionally painfully written. As was how Jazz reacted when he heard what had happened to Nicky after he returned to LA. I cried, great sobbing, break-your-heart tears.
It is beautifully written, from both men's POV in the third person. We get Nicky's final meltdown, and we get Jazz' too.
I really did love it. BUT but but but but. Here's where I'm struggling. Something was off, missing, not quite right, and for the life of me I cannot figure it out, not figure out what's stopping me giving it 5 stars. Its been driving me nuts for day, hence the sleeping on it. My initial reaction is 4 stars, and I have to run with it.
I would like to read something else by this author, anything, just to see if it's just this book, or the author's style of writing.
So..
4 stars
**same worded review will appear on Goodreads, Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk**
2 boys grew up together. Then one made a decision that broke the other's heart. 17 years later, Jasper is a Catholic priest, and Nicky is broken, returning home to get well and find his music again.
The question is, who fixes whom??
I had to sleep on this one, several nights. Why?? I couldn't word what I wanted to say, how to word it. Still can't, not properly. So I apologise if this review waffles, or doesn't make sense.
Nicky and Jazz loved each other as children, as young men, but Jazz left Nicky and Nicky went off to be a rock star. Nicky's management team were not the most....supportive...in fact, they were rather destructive to Nicky and his band members. Nicky found himself spiralling downward at a rapid rate, with a trip to the morgue well on the cards. He comes home, to his parents, to find himself again, to make up for being a bad son for so long. (Nicky's words, not mine) Jazz is the local priest, running a LGBTQ youth shelter.
Their first meeting after 17 years is painful. It hurt me how much Nicky hates Jazz, how much he still loves him. It hurt me how Jazz reacted to Nicky's hurt. It was beautifully, emotionally painfully written. As was how Jazz reacted when he heard what had happened to Nicky after he returned to LA. I cried, great sobbing, break-your-heart tears.
It is beautifully written, from both men's POV in the third person. We get Nicky's final meltdown, and we get Jazz' too.
I really did love it. BUT but but but but. Here's where I'm struggling. Something was off, missing, not quite right, and for the life of me I cannot figure it out, not figure out what's stopping me giving it 5 stars. Its been driving me nuts for day, hence the sleeping on it. My initial reaction is 4 stars, and I have to run with it.
I would like to read something else by this author, anything, just to see if it's just this book, or the author's style of writing.
So..
4 stars
**same worded review will appear on Goodreads, Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk**
challenging
hopeful
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Huh. This story went exactly where I expected it to go and I still don't really know how I feel about that.
So much feels! I admit that I got a bit teary at parts. I was drawn into the story, the emotion and pain that both characters felt was wrenching, to say the least.
An emotionally-heavy story that doesn't sacrifice angst for romance. There's enough sexy moments to make this a spicy read too.
So much feels! I admit that I got a bit teary at parts. I was drawn into the story, the emotion and pain that both characters felt was wrenching, to say the least.
An emotionally-heavy story that doesn't sacrifice angst for romance. There's enough sexy moments to make this a spicy read too.
*sob* I’m so conflicted with this one! There was so much that I LOVED about it but there were also things that really rubbed me the wrong way. Maria’s review and Elsa’s review are so different but both of them sum up my feelings really well.
Usually when I’m this conflicted, I don’t rate or review the book. I hate to slam books I kind of love and am uncomfortable endorsing books I kind of hate *cringing laugh* So why am I bothering to write this review? I LOVE Nicky. I identified with some of his issues in a way that caused me to bond with him to the point where I would love to reread this book just for his character alone and I don’t want to forget any of these things when a year or two or five from now I’m looking through my old reviews looking for a hurt/comfort reread.
Note to future self, READ IT!
ETA Since writing my review, Maria edited hers. It was a 4.5 star review that I felt articulated really well how lovely this book is. For now, I stand by the feeling that this book is lovely in spite of the ways it’s frustrating and problematic. I’d link to another positive review but unfortunately I can’t find another that expresses the way I feel as well as Maria’s did.
Usually when I’m this conflicted, I don’t rate or review the book. I hate to slam books I kind of love and am uncomfortable endorsing books I kind of hate *cringing laugh* So why am I bothering to write this review? I LOVE Nicky. I identified with some of his issues in a way that caused me to bond with him to the point where I would love to reread this book just for his character alone and I don’t want to forget any of these things when a year or two or five from now I’m looking through my old reviews looking for a hurt/comfort reread.
Note to future self, READ IT!
ETA Since writing my review, Maria edited hers. It was a 4.5 star review that I felt articulated really well how lovely this book is. For now, I stand by the feeling that this book is lovely in spite of the ways it’s frustrating and problematic. I’d link to another positive review but unfortunately I can’t find another that expresses the way I feel as well as Maria’s did.
Au-ugh! Original review got deleted. Luckily enough, this book is amazing and I still remember much of it MONTHS after I read it. It easily makes it on my list of favorite books of the year -- and all time favorites in this genre. I particularly loved the setting and the use of Gaelic -- adding a breathtaking poetry to a poignant romance that got under my skin and shimmered with light and emotion. I adored this book ... I loved the characters ... definitely recommended (again!) ...
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Nicky and Jazz are about as different as they can be. But really, they’re not. Nicky is a drugged out rock star getting clean, so he goes home to recover. Jazz was called to the priesthood, and runs an LGBTQ+ youth centre.
As kids, they wee best friends, then first loves. They never got over each other, and through the years, they continued to care, though they weren’t talking.
Much angst and longing, deep love and pain, are experienced by them both. As the tides turn and neither can deny their need for the other, what was broken is repaired, all the wrongs righted, and destinies fulfilled.
Lovely story, fully formed characters and realistic situations, especially in the rock star world. Really enjoyed the whole book.
KU
As kids, they wee best friends, then first loves. They never got over each other, and through the years, they continued to care, though they weren’t talking.
Much angst and longing, deep love and pain, are experienced by them both. As the tides turn and neither can deny their need for the other, what was broken is repaired, all the wrongs righted, and destinies fulfilled.
Lovely story, fully formed characters and realistic situations, especially in the rock star world. Really enjoyed the whole book.
KU