parkerjm's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional inspiring sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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featherinthewind's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I can’t. Actually. 

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izzycarpenito's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

i usually don't write reviews on here, but something had inspired me to do so cuz ive never been more emotionally conflicted about a book.

first, the good. i really enjoyed the first half of the book. i read it all in two hours. i enjoyed the characters enough, but i was most interested in the main character. he quickly became insufferable to me as literally nothing about him changes over the course of the book.

the bad then, the book is trauma porn, and that's not necessarily bad, but i didn't want to just read 800 pages of characters suffering. another thing that bothered me is that pretty much all the characters are static. the only one who went thru actual personality changes was JB. 

in the end, what's the message? i didnt pick up on an intended one, though it became clear to me what the author thinks. sometimes if youre disabled or traumatized or mentally ill youre better off killing yourself and i cant get behind that.

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enyasar's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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peachy_gene's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I don't know what to say about this beyond what's already been said. This book ruined my life and offered a very helpful perspective on things in my own life. 

 I don't think this book hit me the way it seems to hit for people that don't listen to trauma for 40 hours a week [I'm a trauma therapist].There was nothing shocking about this book, however, the details are unimaginably difficult to read. I don't find Yanagihara's writing really all that beautiful- but this story is also really really ugly so I feel like that's on purpose? A devastating demonstration of love, and a reminder that sometimes love is not enough to make people choose to stay. 

This book [imo] asks readers to have hard conversations with loved ones and reminds us to make sure our loved ones know the role they play in our lives- it shines light on the fact that Even if they know, they may not be able to be that forever.  Sometimes we can't save people, especially from themselves, and especially from what the world has done to them. This book requires empathy and emotional shieldng to get through. 

I see a lot of people saying Jude was enabled and frustrating and I agree. But I do think Yanagihara's depiction of what it's like to never be able to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you is extremely well done . The story depicts how formative our earliest years are  in relation to how we trust, and form connection and this that translates into adult life. This novel is very much trauma a centered, and looks very deeply at the way trauma shapes our worldview, self perception and life outlook especially when we are leg to believe we are non-human undeserving of the healing it takes to seek trust and the company is others, to crave it desperately and have no idea what to do with that once we have obtained it. 

I didn't have any visceral reaction this except for the imagery which was rare. The depictions of abuse, are Even written in a very flat way. The only time I felt anything was when the pov was from Harold, but again- this feels intentional given the subject matter. I think we are perhaps meant to be emotionally disconnected, as Jude has had to be. 

I certainly didn't feel that this is the great gay novel by any means. But it is perhaps, an excellent case study for trauma's influence of the human existence if left untreated for a lifetime. It also lends excellent focus to the challenges when life is constant body horror, Jude's inability to connect with his even when he absolutely needed to, his constant act of rebellion towards the vessel he inhabits as punishment for sins he never committed; the impact of rage that is held within and never expressed.This commentary is something that is deeply felt, but extra so when a reader has a very specific set of traumas. 

It looks at codependency, [lack of] autonomy, illness, what it means to exist in a body when you couldn't consent to being born,  and asks what community is actually responsible for when a person has to be convinced that life really can be with living. This is not a hopeful story. It's sad and I can't ever recommend it to anyone. It never gets better. It has layers that I kept trying to find hope in, with no success. It's nothing but suffering, even happiness glimmers are temporary. I found it truly human at times, while deeply unbelievable at others, but mostly, I found it relatable and for that reason I will be talking about it with my therapist tomorrow. 

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caitlin_d89's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Take notes, they will help so much at first. It will say “he did” / “he said” but the POV changes up without notice so knowing the characters will keep you from being confused. Hard book to read since it’s so emotional but such a good read. I felt connected to the characters, almost like a friend by the end so you really feel their feels. Triggers! 

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alycnsuha's review against another edition

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adventurous challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I'm glad i decided to pick up this book.

Honestly I still got confused about who's the author talking about until the 3rd chapters but nvm. The plot was actually good I love how details the stories are. But I think the ending is a little uhh cliffhanging(??) since they didn't actually tell what happened to Jude that made him became 👼🏻👼🏻

I've grown to love them so much especially Jude and Willem. I feel like I've watched them growing up my whole life. My poor Jude... anyways it didn't get me sobs for hours. Yes I did shed tears a little and had me to stop reading and relax myself. It was a neverending tragedies I'm so proud of Jude for trying and holding until his last breath. Those shits he went through wasn't easy I'm so glad he had people who actually cares and love for him. This book has got me realizing that there are few of peoples who do cares about us but sometimes we can't see it because we resent them. I have my all respect and love for Harold, he lost  the people who he loves and cares the most. I'm thankful for Harold and Willem the most for not giving up on Jude, for always being the with him, help and gives all the affection he secretly craves, for being so patient with him all their lives.

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rainreading's review against another edition

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dark emotional inspiring sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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palebea's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Fucking hell. 
I went into this book totally blind and I don't even know how I managed that. I was looking for a palate cleanser and somehow fell on this. 

I don't recommend it. I think you need to look at the TWs and take them seriously. Don't take them as a challenge. I listened to this book and had the words echoing in my head for months. The emotional turmoil I went through reading this book - I don't think I would have appreciated this if I read this about a year ago when I was in the pits of my own struggles. 

That all said. This book changed how I viewed a lot of things. It's so painfully sad and take painful literally here, I spent hours sobbing. The writing is beautiful, the way the characters develop. The world they live in. Months on and I'm still struggling to really put into words how impactful this book was. On a surface level, I can understand why people regard as it as "trauma porn" but the sad reality of the world is that it just isn't rosy. 

I connected to a lot of the descriptions and experiences of really gnarly MH struggles. It's not comfortable to read about. 

I will re read this book at some point but it's an undertaking I'm so not ready for. 

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fpcat99's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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