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It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover

96 reviews

abbeyroad1410's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

If you're looking for a light romance, this book is not it. The marketing really does not advertise the 400(ish) pages of emotional trauma you are about to endure.
That being said, I think for the most part, this book does a great job of highlighting the emotional complexities of an abusive relationship and the difficulties of breaking the generational cycle of abuse. It easily makes a person want to sob for every party involved.
The main character, Lily, has a lot going for her. She remains bold and ambitious in her pursuits throughout the novel, but undergoes a large perspective shift. Even though no one would want to see someone undergo this much trauma, it does inform her character. I do hope she ends up seeing a therapist following all of this.
If I had a gripe with this book, it was the unnecessary addition of Atlas. I'm not entirely sure he was a good romantic interest either. His questions regarding Lily's age often gave "I'm waiting until this is legal" even if this wasn't the intention. A lot of his role could have been fulfilled through Lily's friendship with Alyssa (the best character) or through the development of Lucy (a character abandoned about two seconds into the book).
Overall, this is a good book if you can handle the traumatic subject, though you may need a bottle of wine afterwards to unwind.

Content Warnings

james1star's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This is my second Colleen Hoover read ~ I'm doing a reading vlog checking her out. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/sOF_QcjvBwQ

Objectively I think this was a decent book and one I would recommend but it does have it’s pros and cons again. In many ways I’d suggest going into this book not knowing too much about the plot but we follow a first person account from Lily over about two years of her life, she begins a ‘relationship’ with a man called Ryle. Interspersed she reads journal entries from when she was fifteen, getting to know a homeless boy called Altas and her abusive family life (TW: domestic abuse scenes are explicitly throughout). In the current timeframe Atlas arrives back on the scene and considering downward developments with Ryle makes her rethink many things. From now on I will somewhat mention spoilers but will refrain when possible.

THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. Nope, no way in hell is it okay to label this book as a love story. Whilst it may begin as one and in some ways Hoover carries on this path, the ‘love’ morphs into something very difficult to read/follow. At it’s heart ‘It Ends With Us’ is a powerful, emotional and gut wrenching portrayal of an abusive relationship(s) and how a mis-skewed notion of love can cloud one’s judgment, conquering the feelings of fear and hatred. I think this was by far the best part of this book and whilst I was reading I could totally understand Lily’s thoughts and reasonings. Unlike some reviewers I didn’t automatically love (or like for that matter Ryle) from the beginning but I did sympathise with his trauma, I’d probably have done what Lily did. In many ways I was consciously hating myself for thinking this and whilst it’s statistically less likely I’d (as a gay cisgender man) be in her position I think Hoover really well showed how domestic abuse doesn’t happen to ‘other’ women but can really happen to anyone. Most importantly, how it’s not their fault. This quote really well summed up the main message: "People spend so much time wondering why the women don't leave. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive? Isn't that where the only blame should be placed?"

Another great thing was the nuance complexity used for the characters. The three main ones (Lily, Ryle and Atlas) were very well developed and realised but so were the Lily’s mum and Ryle’s sister Alyssa (what a great best friend to Lily I want one too!). All of them do things that aren’t the best but have redeeming qualities too and this deepness lends to the reader having more of an emotional attachment. This is most prominent with Lily and further reinforced by her first person narrative voice so you experience things as they’re happening to her through her. So well executed. In the author’s note at the end Hoover states Lily and Ryle are somewhat based on her own parents and experiences and for this I truly appreciate why she wrote this book and how breaking the cycle of abuse is the key message portrayed. Additionally I think she done a great job at showing an example (as domestic abuse cases are so varied) of a situation/ideology that most don’t experience in a very sad read that’s also very brutally honest too.

I wouldn’t say the writing was anything that special but it’s not bad by any means. It’s still rather bingeable, pulling you forward so I’d say it’s linguistically an easy read. The themes and events are harder to stick with at times but due to the emotional connection to Lily it was hard to put this book down. There are some nice and well penned quotes and messages, with cute elements too. I think what Hoover does well is how she portrays human nature in a very honest way, with insightful discussions on (toxic) relationships.

Something I have a big problem with in this book is how we as the reader are supposed to fall for Ryle like Lily does before understanding his true nature. But from the start he’s portrayed as being violent and rather manipulative, I mean their first encounter is him kicking a chair due to anger. He’s then rather forceful in telling her to get away from the ledge (he’s got reasons but she wasn’t suicidal instead enjoying the view so…) and before he leaves takes an unsolicited photo of her. To not give anymore away but quite soon after he literally begs for sex and he’s successful in his endeavour (he’s portrayed as pathetic in this moment but Lily’s thoughts aren’t concrete on his actions). I think my main qualm before all is revealed is how Ryle in essence weaponised his past trauma, which is used to guilt-trip Lily and manipulative things - I hated this so much. But, I must say I did feel bad for him like the protagonist did so I can’t say for sure I’d have acted differently to his confession. And in all fairness he’s written as being quite physically attractive, which coupled with his brainy job and stable finances gives us pros a plenty. This is beneficial is creating confusion in the reader but I have read some reviews by people excusing his behaviour or weighing it up against his likeness and trauma which is not okay. I think Hoover should have added something about not liking Ryle’s character in her notes at the end as I sensed maybe some ambiguity. Additionally this concept of ‘no bad people just people that do bad things’ provides more unnecessary nuance.

Another issue is the misogyny put forward by the author. This is prevalent in how Lily chooses not to divorce Ryle then and there because her hormones from being pregnant could be affecting her decision making ability. Ugh, it’s just totally unnecessary and really angered me. Likewise HATED how near the end after she makes her decision and Ryle is pleading for another chance, she asks the question of ‘what if our daughter came home after being beaten? What would you say?’ and things like that. He apparently ‘changes’ his attitude with some reviewers believing his new ‘understanding’ of the situation when no, he didn’t. It’s this same stupid argument of how when only feel remorse for domestic abuse/sexual assault when the victim is their daughter/mother/sister/etc. NO, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THE VICTIM IS AND IT SHOULDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING. If you can’t tell I’m pissed at this. Along the same vein was I didn’t like the role Atlas played in the current timeframe as he comes to her rescue, something many women don’t have when in a domestic abuse situation. I have mixed opinions on the added side love story with Atlas, I see he’s a good and caring character but the whole thing was a little unnecessary and took away from the main narrative.

Quick fire problems:

I didn’t like how Atlas was made to be 18 and Lily 15 during their relationship, there were already things stopping them being together but this illegal fact was just unnecessary. Why can’t Colleen just write one healthy relationship?!
The pregnancy… eh I dunno about it really, I was shocked reading it but was a little disappointed. How Ryle then acts after finding out this news was so disgusting, caring so much more for the baby then his wife - women are not baby-making machines!
Devin was written as another gay stereotype. Why? I’ve only read ‘November 9’ but that too included a gay generalisation that just unnecessary, especially contemporary fiction. Devin is overly sexual in touching Lily and making remarks. No need for it.

Overall, I would recommend this book but as I have mentioned I do have my reservations. Men and women alike should read it and take the main message that domestic abuse is a real thing and it’s totally unacceptable, nothing can ever excuse such behaviour and victims need to get out as soon as they can. I’m glad this story had gotten a lot of hype but I don’t think reading it to ‘feel sad’ or just because it’s popular is right. Hoover clearly put a lot of herself into it and it deserves to be maturely understood.

Content Warnings

wrenerfarious's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

daisymagnolia's review against another edition

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dark slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.25

I read this book in one day. I’m not sure why. I think part of me just wanted it done and out of the way. So many people have raved about this book, saying how fantastic it is. I disagree. I also found it extremely triggering, as I grew up in a home with domestic violence. I don’t feel like this book will save any lives or free anyone from domestic violence, so I have to ask, what is the point of it? It really just felt like the author used this novel as a self counselling session, and if I’d known how truly pointless it was, I wouldn’t have read it. The Naked truth is that it’s a terrible book, on so many levels! I do not recommend it!

Content Warnings

hq_reads's review against another edition

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challenging emotional sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This is so hard to rate. I hated this story but loved the book! I was so torn with Ryle - I hated him so so much, with a passion. He didn’t deserve any love. Yet, I could not help but sympathise with him and I hated myself for this….. Colleen Hoover made all the readers feel how many abused women feel about their partners… really well written but a difficult read.

I wanted more from Atlas… I wish they got together earlier - my heart breaks for what could have been. I loved this book for how it made me feel = DISTRAUGHT.

I think this book is borderline romanticising domestic abuse. HOWEVER I genuinely believe Hoover captured the complex feelings abused women feel towards their partners. And the perfect quote from the book - “ “How could she love him after why he did to her? How could she contemplate take him back?” It’s sad that those are the first thoughts that run through our minds when someone is abused. Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouth for the abusers than for those who continue to live the abusers?”

I hate Ryle. And I always will. But I do not judge Lily’s character for keeping him in their child’s life…

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