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mxunsmiley's review against another edition
Mostly an oversight of the larger discussion to be had about women and sex. She had a tiny disclaimer which read more to me like a cop-out stating that things may be different for LGBT people but really just moves on from that point to talk exclusively about white cis straight women. I think it's a disservice especially to trans women who may certainly feel even greater pressures and obligations revolving around sex, especially as Angel does mention sex workers (very off-handedly) and how the idea of obligatory affirmative consent may be convoluted for their profession and rights, thus complicating things even further as trans women are often employed as sex workers.
Another thing I felt was lacking was the consideration of race, ability, and socioeconomic status. She does mention them in... one sentence... to say, again, that things are different for women affected by those factors, and does frequently pause to say things along the lines of, "Of course, things are different for Black women..." mentions people like bell hooks, yet stops there. I thus found it a bit insulting that at one point she uses a quote of Audre Lorde's to advance her thesis without taking Black women into account within those paragraphs. It's not great, to put it lightly, to outright state that most of what you're saying only applies to white cis straight women. It makes it seem like the burden is too great for you as a white cis straight woman to ponder or investigate the conditions of people different than you under the guise of "I'm staying in my lane."
I do think her points are very solid and had me thinking a lot about the current state of feminism, specifically confidence and consent culture, how women are expected to take charge in sex and elsewhere because if not, well, they had it coming to them, and they're not advancing the state of affairs for women everywhere. I just feel like it would have been even more fruitful to explore all women's relationships to sex, including sex with each other--how do these perceptions and enforcements of men's expectations of sex with women eventually transform and influence how women have sex with other women? How do they treat each other in a sexual relationship, casual and long-term, based on what they've internalized on how they must service men, how sex is supposed to feel and be?
How women perceive and desire sex is also very interesting to me. It's not a topic I am comfortable discussing with others so to read something about it was refreshing for me, as I don't typically like to think about it on my own. I do feel like the book was too short to cover so great a topic. It felt more like a primer more than anything, and again, it really should've opened the door for a discussion on LBT women and sex.
Another thing I felt was lacking was the consideration of race, ability, and socioeconomic status. She does mention them in... one sentence... to say, again, that things are different for women affected by those factors, and does frequently pause to say things along the lines of, "Of course, things are different for Black women..." mentions people like bell hooks, yet stops there. I thus found it a bit insulting that at one point she uses a quote of Audre Lorde's to advance her thesis without taking Black women into account within those paragraphs. It's not great, to put it lightly, to outright state that most of what you're saying only applies to white cis straight women. It makes it seem like the burden is too great for you as a white cis straight woman to ponder or investigate the conditions of people different than you under the guise of "I'm staying in my lane."
I do think her points are very solid and had me thinking a lot about the current state of feminism, specifically confidence and consent culture, how women are expected to take charge in sex and elsewhere because if not, well, they had it coming to them, and they're not advancing the state of affairs for women everywhere. I just feel like it would have been even more fruitful to explore all women's relationships to sex, including sex with each other--how do these perceptions and enforcements of men's expectations of sex with women eventually transform and influence how women have sex with other women? How do they treat each other in a sexual relationship, casual and long-term, based on what they've internalized on how they must service men, how sex is supposed to feel and be?
How women perceive and desire sex is also very interesting to me. It's not a topic I am comfortable discussing with others so to read something about it was refreshing for me, as I don't typically like to think about it on my own. I do feel like the book was too short to cover so great a topic. It felt more like a primer more than anything, and again, it really should've opened the door for a discussion on LBT women and sex.
ramreadsagain's review against another edition
informative
Lots of new perspectives in this book, really interesting and food for thought.
charl's review
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Very academic but gave me some food for thought
khaufnaak's review against another edition
4.0
Easy read. References other thinkers that don’t necessarily agree with the author’s view, so you can get a better idea of what thinkers in the field are generally discussing and debating through time. This book puts into words what many women feel and experience.
I specifically liked the chapters on consent and arousal. As someone sympathetic to radical feminism, it was refreshing to see liberal conceptions of consent and women’s sexuality dissected and challenged. As a psychology major, the chapter on arousal was an informative addition to my class module on sexual disorders. When we learn about disorders, we also learn what the particular faculty is like when NOT disordered. This book introduced new information to me particularly in regard to the progression of women from desire to arousal, as the science we were taught in class was, perhaps, more antique in study. All in all, informative.
What I would say is, if you’re someone who is sensitive to explicit mentions of sexual behavior, some parts of the book may be terribly difficult to read. It may be obvious from the name of the book, it may not be, because sometimes we assume ~academic~ literature will shroud explicit details and quotes from references in neatly packaged paraphrasing. This won’t happen consistently in this book. So I would say, if you’re reading a paragraph and starting to feel uncomfortable, maybe skip to the next one and see if you can understand. If not, maybe go back sentence by sentence until it makes sense. This is an incredibly informative book that I think could be beneficial to many.
I specifically liked the chapters on consent and arousal. As someone sympathetic to radical feminism, it was refreshing to see liberal conceptions of consent and women’s sexuality dissected and challenged. As a psychology major, the chapter on arousal was an informative addition to my class module on sexual disorders. When we learn about disorders, we also learn what the particular faculty is like when NOT disordered. This book introduced new information to me particularly in regard to the progression of women from desire to arousal, as the science we were taught in class was, perhaps, more antique in study. All in all, informative.
What I would say is, if you’re someone who is sensitive to explicit mentions of sexual behavior, some parts of the book may be terribly difficult to read. It may be obvious from the name of the book, it may not be, because sometimes we assume ~academic~ literature will shroud explicit details and quotes from references in neatly packaged paraphrasing. This won’t happen consistently in this book. So I would say, if you’re reading a paragraph and starting to feel uncomfortable, maybe skip to the next one and see if you can understand. If not, maybe go back sentence by sentence until it makes sense. This is an incredibly informative book that I think could be beneficial to many.
lou_christie's review against another edition
challenging
dark
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0