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733 reviews for:
Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent
Katherine Angel
4.04 AVERAGE
733 reviews for:
Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent
Katherine Angel
4.04 AVERAGE
informative
slow-paced
informative
Big arguments: Desire does not have to be known and fixed in advance to protect us from violence. And that we need something more than just affirmative consent because a yes and a no are a lot more loaded based on and influenced by contexts of socioeconomic, racial, gender, and sexual identities of both parties! And vulnerability is key to our liberation in sex.
Very philosophical and enjoyed the questions that were posed. Amazed how much was fit into only 115 pages? This is clearly a book about consent in heterosexual sex and I think there are a lot of ways that the questions posed apply to all sex because of the way that that societal sexual scripts have been written and dictated by patriarchy, misogyny and white supremacy. Barely touched on racial dynamics and also wouldn’t have been this author’s position to speak from that perspective.
I have a lot of questions relating to how we can start incorporating these thoughts into the realm of hookup culture. Obviously we absolutely need consent and awareness of one another. No doubt. How do we take that next step beyond solely consent when we have casual sex while trying to maintain the space for vulnerability?
“The fixation on yes and no doesn’t help us navigate these waters; it’s precisely the uncertain, the unclear space between yes and no that we need to learn to navigate.” - page 111
Very philosophical and enjoyed the questions that were posed. Amazed how much was fit into only 115 pages? This is clearly a book about consent in heterosexual sex and I think there are a lot of ways that the questions posed apply to all sex because of the way that that societal sexual scripts have been written and dictated by patriarchy, misogyny and white supremacy. Barely touched on racial dynamics and also wouldn’t have been this author’s position to speak from that perspective.
I have a lot of questions relating to how we can start incorporating these thoughts into the realm of hookup culture. Obviously we absolutely need consent and awareness of one another. No doubt. How do we take that next step beyond solely consent when we have casual sex while trying to maintain the space for vulnerability?
“The fixation on yes and no doesn’t help us navigate these waters; it’s precisely the uncertain, the unclear space between yes and no that we need to learn to navigate.” - page 111
This book was definitely thought-provoking. The author’s perspective on consent culture was interesting, I can see what her arguments were, but I don’t think it was a very strong position. She writes beautifully and it’s easy to read through each of her 4 essays, but sometimes it felt like the argumentation wasn’t very clear. I think I was expecting something different, the first 3 essays were really good and compelling and then the author lost me on the 4th one. Maybe it’s because I think that there’s no disconnect between consent culture and having ongoing conversations in sex that leave room for exploration. I think the way people are trying to do consent culture is by having ongoing conversations and making sure that both partners are exploring the limits of what they like and being okay with it.
Anyways, still a good read and an important one. I did recommend it to everyone I know.
Anyways, still a good read and an important one. I did recommend it to everyone I know.
This book really shook me and opened my eyes a lot. I always thought I had a good grasp on desire and sex, being a very sex positive person and always having those masturbation conversations with my friends, but this book opened new perspectives I never thought of! Who does this open conversation of sexual desires and masturbation serve?
Do I openly talk about sex as a mode of freedom and liberation when expressing and discovering my own desires? Or do I speak to match the male perspective of what the norm should be, to show we won’t be muted? Then just confirming to patriarchal norms? Does this speaking put all pressure on women that we need to know our desires in order to be safe when it comes to sex? Then taking the blame away from sexual predators again and pointing the finger at women saying ‘you should of known’?
I really don’t know, it’s got ya girl thinking. The concept of trauma too, desires aren’t related trauma. I used to say my openness is a way to reclaim my body after my assault as masturbation was a huge healing part for me, but also - does everything have to do with trauma? Maybe I’m just a free loving open kind of girl who loves masturbation?
As you can see it got me thinking, and that’s why I bloody loved this book. It blew my mind and encouraged my to do my one self reflection to understand what I think my views are on freedom of speech when it comes to being a women and all things desire, fantasies and sexuality.
Do I openly talk about sex as a mode of freedom and liberation when expressing and discovering my own desires? Or do I speak to match the male perspective of what the norm should be, to show we won’t be muted? Then just confirming to patriarchal norms? Does this speaking put all pressure on women that we need to know our desires in order to be safe when it comes to sex? Then taking the blame away from sexual predators again and pointing the finger at women saying ‘you should of known’?
I really don’t know, it’s got ya girl thinking. The concept of trauma too, desires aren’t related trauma. I used to say my openness is a way to reclaim my body after my assault as masturbation was a huge healing part for me, but also - does everything have to do with trauma? Maybe I’m just a free loving open kind of girl who loves masturbation?
As you can see it got me thinking, and that’s why I bloody loved this book. It blew my mind and encouraged my to do my one self reflection to understand what I think my views are on freedom of speech when it comes to being a women and all things desire, fantasies and sexuality.
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
It's a scholarly text that is super accessible. Really easy read but very nuanced and it really made me reevaluate how I think about sex and consent and building a healthy security. I'm impressed by what it accomplished in such few pages.
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape
This book put into words issues I've been struggling with internally for years. It's worth noting that it is written primarily for straight cis women (as the author explicitly acknowledges), but at the same time, I didn't have any issues relating to it as a not-straight, not-cis woman.
For such a short book, this was an incredibly nuanced and thought-provoking analysis of today's discourse around sex, especially the chapter "On Consent" - which I have the most highlights in and will probably reread. There's a lot within recent feminist theory (particularly from the 70s-80s) that can be esoteric and hard to digest, and I think this book synthesized a lot of that history in an accessible way, contextualizing it around how conversations have shifted into this current wave of feminism post the #MeToo movement. I reeeeeaally could have used this book when I was in college and in my early 20s.