Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.32 AVERAGE
4.32 AVERAGE
Probably one of the most powerful books out there on a very important, increasingly relevant topic. Part memoir, part plea for sanity, Justin Lee's voice is approachable and conversational, and he tells his story with capability and sensitivity. Lee's story unfolds as does the story of so many countless others: raised devoutly Christian, and a conservative Southern Baptist, no less, he discovers to his own horror that while feelings for girls never developed, he cannot fight his attraction for men.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
Whether or not the reader comes to the same theological conclusions as Mr. Lee, this book addresses an issue sorely lacking from the church today. This is done in a poignant and well-thought out way as he brings you along on his journey thus far.
I was recommended this book by some very loving parents of a gay son who attend my church. Their process, like mine and so many others, to find ways to move past all the back and forth, division and dismissal, is typified and explored in this story. I'm so grateful for people like Justin who are willing to share their story, look at Scripture for all its complexity and beauty, and emerge with a more generous, more grace-filled, more affirmative understanding. As a pastor, I want to be a better ally, a person who speaks up for and affirms the gifts of my LGBTQ friends and family. I want to share a Gospel that does not reduce sexuality and gender to binary categories or oversimplified rules. This is the world so many of us have come from and I do not believe this is God's loving way, nor to I believe it must be our way forward - there is much more for God's people than this.
As I read, I felt drawn to the many stories of college students, young people, and friends I've walked with as they've processed their own sexuality. I thought of their tears, their longing to be heard and seen as children of God. I thought of the times I've blundered it and I thought of the times I think I did alright in serving as their pastor. I hope for their grace and I am humbled to have been one to journey with them in faith and hope and love. And...I continue to feel the sense of God's call to love and serve all people as they discover the beauty of Christ's image, which they bear.
As I read, I felt drawn to the many stories of college students, young people, and friends I've walked with as they've processed their own sexuality. I thought of their tears, their longing to be heard and seen as children of God. I thought of the times I've blundered it and I thought of the times I think I did alright in serving as their pastor. I hope for their grace and I am humbled to have been one to journey with them in faith and hope and love. And...I continue to feel the sense of God's call to love and serve all people as they discover the beauty of Christ's image, which they bear.
I've been meaning to read this book for years but kept getting distracted by other demands. But my dear friend Kylee sent me a link this week and insisted that it would fall weightier after reading the book. http://tonycampolo.org/for-the-record-tony-campolo-releases-a-new-statement/#.VXXfT5NVikp It's encouraging to see people who are thoughtfully wrestling with their theology and who are willing to change their minds in order to pursue what they now see as true. This book is a reminder that one of the greatest powers is in personal story-telling; you can disagree with someone's theology or worldview or choices, but you can't deny someone's story. Stories don't justify a theology or worldview, but they do force you to confront your own. Justin's vulnerability and bravery in sharing his story has already changed (and I believe will continue to change) the dialogue in a much needed way.
Great read! Read it in a day. Very informative, researched perspective, taking Side A on the matter.
This book follows the emotional journey of a devout Christian youth discovering he is gay. The reader truly feels the emotional tugs as Justin trudges through his own self discovery and how this impacts his relationship with God. He feels authentically torn between what he was always taught to believe and the God he most deeply loves. As a straight Christian who supports monogamous LGBT relationships (aka Side A), I think this book would help other Christians who are exploring the gay vs. Christian debate themselves. So often we get caught up and forget that issues we are discussing are about real people and real experiences. Justin Lee brings that home in a loving and, I feel, unbiased manner. Thanks Justin for sharing your beautiful story. Enjoy.
I've been meaning to read this book for years but kept getting distracted by other demands. But my dear friend Kylee sent me a link this week and insisted that it would fall weightier after reading the book. http://tonycampolo.org/for-the-record-tony-campolo-releases-a-new-statement/#.VXXfT5NVikp It's encouraging to see people who are thoughtfully wrestling with their theology and who are willing to change their minds in order to pursue what they now see as true. This book is a reminder that one of the greatest powers is in personal story-telling; you can disagree with someone's theology or worldview or choices, but you can't deny someone's story. Stories don't justify a theology or worldview, but they do force you to confront your own. Justin's vulnerability and bravery in sharing his story has already changed (and I believe will continue to change) the dialogue in a much needed way.
How appropriate that I should finish this book at a time when the Supreme Court is hearing testimony on the full inclusion of the LGBT community in secular society. Lee's book is well written and compelling and every Christian should read whether your mind is made up or not. Regardless of your thoughts, he offers a view into the realities of faith and being gay. If nothing else it will help Christians see the pain the church has wrought on an entire group of people. He is more graceful to the church than it deserves and that only serves to make his writing more powerful. I am humbled by his steadfast devotion to his faith and sincerely hope he writes more books on grace and faith. I am not LGBTQ but have been hurt by the church and well meaning Christians over and over again, so much of what he said resonated and inspired me. So not only would I recommend this book to those wanting to understand our LGBTQ brothers and sisters but to anyone who has felt hurt by the church, confused by doctrine, or otherwise ostracized.
The real-life nuance and struggle of a Baptist boy discovering and coming to terms with his homosexuality makes for an interesting perspective on the culture wars, and I appreciate the biographical element and how the middle ground perspective can help people on different sides of this issue understand and respect each other more. However, the title is misleading, because this book primarily emphasizes how Christian culture influenced the author's life, saying nothing about how the gospel can transform someone's identity and perspective on sexuality. Justin Lee attempts to reconcile two competing cultures, but is silent about the promises, demands, and transformation inherent in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Lee does not articulate Scripture's redemptive narrative throughout his book, much less explain how one can "rescue" the gospel from the culture wars. He explained and illustrated how "ex-gay" treatments fail at their aim of transforming sexual orientations, and talked much about the importance of love and grace, but never addressed how someone can experience spiritual transformation that changes their sense of identity and worth even in the midst of their ongoing same-sex desires. All throughout the story, Lee repeatedly set forth his own abstinence and church upbringing as proof that he was all right; he wanted the people in his life to understand that just because he had homosexual desires did not mean that he was in unrepentant sin or opposed to the will of God. I understand his frustration with negative stereotyping, but I wish he could have experienced the liberation of knowing that his identity and wholeness rested exclusively in Christ's work on his behalf, not on anything he did to keep or make himself acceptable.
Lee felt torn between his identity as "God Boy" and as gay, and wrote compellingly about those difficulties, but even though I respect his individual struggles and story, I must conclude that one will remain "torn" until they can put their identity in something far greater than an absorbed or adopted culture. Settling for some mixture of two cultures may feel comfortable and satisfying after a long and difficult struggle between them, but I believe that true identity is available in Christ alone.
If Christianity is all about quitting bad habits and abiding by a set of rules, then it would logically follow that the fundamental desires of homosexual people preclude them from the faith. The author resented that implication, and many of his arguments were logical and effective. However, he had little to no basis in the gospel, which teaches that we are all messed up people who are incapable of following God's law and cannot restore the brokenness within, no matter how hard we try to treat the symptoms. Christ's righteousness, credited to one's account, is the only thing that can make someone clean and whole. This is equally available to all regardless of their temptations and sin, and makes them completely and fully forgiven by God, as well as enabled to pursue Christian faithfulness according to Scripture's commands.
No matter what our struggles are, we all stand equal at the foot of the cross. While there are still many practical concerns to wrestle through regarding homosexuality, the gospel perspective upends bias, shunning, and self-hatred, and makes it possible for people of all different sin temptations to work towards holiness together. This book's emphasis on self-acceptance and community understanding is helpful, but even though it is grounded in typical Christian language, it is inadequate without a biblical understanding of the redemptive narrative and how Christ transforms individuals' abilities to die to themselves and follow Him. Justin Lee loved his church culture and loved God, but this perspective was wrapped around himself and his own efforts at meriting favor, wholeness, and peace. Torn between warring desires, he struggled to reconcile these two parts of his life, but it seems that he never learned how to lift his eyes to Christ to find transformation and healing outside of himself.
As an alternative to this book, I highly recommend Wesley Hills' book "Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality." It grounds the homosexual struggle clearly in the story of the gospel and provides both ideological and practical help for dealing with same-sex attraction and understanding gay brothers and sisters in Christ.
Lee does not articulate Scripture's redemptive narrative throughout his book, much less explain how one can "rescue" the gospel from the culture wars. He explained and illustrated how "ex-gay" treatments fail at their aim of transforming sexual orientations, and talked much about the importance of love and grace, but never addressed how someone can experience spiritual transformation that changes their sense of identity and worth even in the midst of their ongoing same-sex desires. All throughout the story, Lee repeatedly set forth his own abstinence and church upbringing as proof that he was all right; he wanted the people in his life to understand that just because he had homosexual desires did not mean that he was in unrepentant sin or opposed to the will of God. I understand his frustration with negative stereotyping, but I wish he could have experienced the liberation of knowing that his identity and wholeness rested exclusively in Christ's work on his behalf, not on anything he did to keep or make himself acceptable.
Lee felt torn between his identity as "God Boy" and as gay, and wrote compellingly about those difficulties, but even though I respect his individual struggles and story, I must conclude that one will remain "torn" until they can put their identity in something far greater than an absorbed or adopted culture. Settling for some mixture of two cultures may feel comfortable and satisfying after a long and difficult struggle between them, but I believe that true identity is available in Christ alone.
If Christianity is all about quitting bad habits and abiding by a set of rules, then it would logically follow that the fundamental desires of homosexual people preclude them from the faith. The author resented that implication, and many of his arguments were logical and effective. However, he had little to no basis in the gospel, which teaches that we are all messed up people who are incapable of following God's law and cannot restore the brokenness within, no matter how hard we try to treat the symptoms. Christ's righteousness, credited to one's account, is the only thing that can make someone clean and whole. This is equally available to all regardless of their temptations and sin, and makes them completely and fully forgiven by God, as well as enabled to pursue Christian faithfulness according to Scripture's commands.
No matter what our struggles are, we all stand equal at the foot of the cross. While there are still many practical concerns to wrestle through regarding homosexuality, the gospel perspective upends bias, shunning, and self-hatred, and makes it possible for people of all different sin temptations to work towards holiness together. This book's emphasis on self-acceptance and community understanding is helpful, but even though it is grounded in typical Christian language, it is inadequate without a biblical understanding of the redemptive narrative and how Christ transforms individuals' abilities to die to themselves and follow Him. Justin Lee loved his church culture and loved God, but this perspective was wrapped around himself and his own efforts at meriting favor, wholeness, and peace. Torn between warring desires, he struggled to reconcile these two parts of his life, but it seems that he never learned how to lift his eyes to Christ to find transformation and healing outside of himself.
As an alternative to this book, I highly recommend Wesley Hills' book "Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality." It grounds the homosexual struggle clearly in the story of the gospel and provides both ideological and practical help for dealing with same-sex attraction and understanding gay brothers and sisters in Christ.
This book is a great look at the Gays vs. Christian mindset and how the church has failed to show love and grace to those in the LGBTQ community. I strongly recommend everyone read this book, no matter your beliefs about the LGBTQ community or your beliefs about the church/Christians. I read this book in one sitting. It has good ideas and truths that need to be discussed.