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4.32 AVERAGE
4.32 AVERAGE
Probably one of the most powerful books out there on a very important, increasingly relevant topic. Part memoir, part plea for sanity, Justin Lee's voice is approachable and conversational, and he tells his story with capability and sensitivity. Lee's story unfolds as does the story of so many countless others: raised devoutly Christian, and a conservative Southern Baptist, no less, he discovers to his own horror that while feelings for girls never developed, he cannot fight his attraction for men.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
So begins his journey for understanding: of himself, of Christ, and of how a person like him fits into a culture that routinely pits gays and Christians against each other. Throughout his quest for understanding, he immerses himself in research and Biblical study and brings his reader along to wrestle with his difficult questions, trying to make sense of who and what he is.
And unlike many others, he ultimately finds more solace in faith than ever before. This is not the story of a man giving up God to be true to himself, nor lying about his nature in order to fit into church culture. This is a man seeking, at all costs, to bridge the gap between his sexuality and his faith. His story is gripping and eye opening, shining light on so many misconceptions about homosexuality within the church and espoused by so many who mean very well.
Perhaps the best part about Torn is that Lee does this without at any point trying to jump through hoops or find loopholes to justify himself. At all points he knows Christians mean well, even as he reveals the increasing ways they have been lied to, causing the growing rift between them and the gay community. Rather than seeking to dismantle church tradition, Lee knows the church rhetoric and spouts it to himself as much as anyone else does, trying to unlock how he can live right with God while knowing that no amount of praying is going to turn him straight. His earnestness is palpable in the pages.
The resulting is a deeply personal story that begs for understanding without Lee at any point insisting his own ideas are right, or trying to draw too firm of conclusions. Rather than attempting to reconcile himself with God, he tries to reconcile the church to the gays they are failing. He longs not to be right, but for a dialogue between gays and the church and, ultimately, the understanding that it does not matter what makes someone gay, whether it's inherent or a choice, or whether all gays are called to celibacy or if a committed same-sex relationship in Christ is possible. It only matters, at the end of the day, that God loves the gays- and we should too.
In a Gays-vs.-Christians world, admitting you're gay makes you the enemy of Christians.
Sadly, with this single sentence, Justin Lee sums up one of the biggest issues in Western Christianity today. Or maybe the biggest. It's extremely unfortunate (or maybe criminal is a better word), that we've allowed two or three misread passages to completely overshadow God's message of love in the Bible.
Torn is a must-read for anyone wanting to understand better what's holding back the love and compassion of Christians for the LGBT world. It's a good read for anyone: Christian, non-Christian, gay, straight. (Caveat: I say this as a straight Christian, but I'm trusting Lee's experience to overcome that, since this book is about him and his experiences.) I would recommend this to anyone not wanting to keep their head in the sand from such an important discussion.
This is something the whole Christian community needs to be thinking about. If you don't personally know anyone who's gay, you're probably wrong in that assumption. You just don't realize it. This is something that will impact each and every one of us, probably sooner than we expect. There is a lot of history to overcome - a lot of hate, a lot of misunderstanding. The sooner that we begin to understand, the sooner we can begin reconciliation.
In a Venn diagram, Gays and Christians aren't mutually exclusive - in fact, there's much more overlap than most people would imagine. Justin Lee enlightens us to that fact, and helps us understand how we need more compassion, more dialogue. This book is a simple read - it's accessible to anyone, and I think important for Christians, simply because his statement is so true:
I believe our goal should be truth, not ideology, and that we must have the humility to admit that we still don't have all the answers.
We would be better Christians in all aspects of our lives if we could admit this.
Justin Lee does a great job in discussing ex-gay movements and explaining how they might be able to help you change behavior (if that's what you want) but they cannot change the fact that you're gay. In fact, he cites many of the founders of the movement (and ex-gay poster children) and describes how they've returned to previous gay lifestyles. Reparative therapy doesn't work. Focus on the Family lied to you. His words are better than mine:
Focus [on the Family] then sent me a pack of resources promoting the same ex-gay groups I already knew didn't work, featuring testimonies from many of the same people I already knew weren't really straight.
Of course, this book is going to be controversial to conservative Christians because it's not anti-gay. Lifeway won't even carry it (I guess I shouldn't be surprised). On the other side, it may also be controversial to some on the LGBT side, because Justin Lee is tolerant of those gay Christians who believe the Bible teaches that they need to remain celibate (even though he does not subscribe to that). He wants more than anything for everyone to come together with a discussion of love, so that we can all understand each other - and replace the long-standing hate with compassion.
Read this book. If you're a Christian, read it to overcome your LGBT prejudices. If you're LGBT, read it to understand that the truth is that Christians shouldn't be fighting this war they have been fighting, and to understand the love and compassion we should be having.
Side note: I "won" a prize in our local library's 2012 reading contest. I got to pick one book to be added to to the library. I felt like this was important enough to add. So if you live in the Huntsville area, you can literally "check this out" at the Huntsville library.
Originally, I had a physical copy and meant to read it several years ago. Since then, I had still thought of reading this book but as I no longer had a physical copy, I opted for the audiobook.
Justin Lee is a phenomenal narrator. He was able to express his feelings and being life into his words. This book was more of a memoir than it was anything else, which was a relatable one for me several years ago.
However, as I have left religion and have become an Atheist, I can still relate to this book and Justin's experiences. Thus, I no longer agree with a lot of the assertions Christianity states, but the message of love and compassion still remain the same for me. It is my hope Mr. Lee starts to recognize the damage Christianity has done to groups of people and the unnecessary nature of religion in the 21st Century.
Justin Lee is a phenomenal narrator. He was able to express his feelings and being life into his words. This book was more of a memoir than it was anything else, which was a relatable one for me several years ago.
However, as I have left religion and have become an Atheist, I can still relate to this book and Justin's experiences. Thus, I no longer agree with a lot of the assertions Christianity states, but the message of love and compassion still remain the same for me. It is my hope Mr. Lee starts to recognize the damage Christianity has done to groups of people and the unnecessary nature of religion in the 21st Century.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
Excellent. This book is balanced, thorough, challenging, and above all, gracious. An important book for any Christian who wants to understand how we can do better at bridging the gap between gays and Christians.
Spectacular book. Well-timed choice, too. Not the answers I would have liked in every case, but at least there is some depth and explanation of what gay Christians go through. Strongly recommended.
Every Christian should read this book no matter which side of the theological fence you are on. It is well-worth the read.
This book broke my heart and then mended it. I can’t recommend it enough
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced