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3.62 AVERAGE
3.62 AVERAGE
I'm not quite sure what to think about this book because I am preparing for a very specific situation - adopting an older child from an international program. I'm not sure how these parenting methods will work with a child who will not speak English when she enters my home. I hope that I will be able to use some of the methods presented once she has learned some English and how our family works. Once we settle into a good routine, I hope to revisit this specific book and see how the parenting methods will work in our home.
I have to mention that I agree with a number of other reviewers; most of the example parent/child conversations in this book are laughable. My husband and I had to chuckle over some of the teen responses to parent questions.
I have to mention that I agree with a number of other reviewers; most of the example parent/child conversations in this book are laughable. My husband and I had to chuckle over some of the teen responses to parent questions.
I would recommend this for anyone with kids over 11 years old.
There were some good ideas in this book, but they were completely outweighed by the extremely hokey sample conversations. Not only that, some of the sample conversations were just downright offensive. Also, some of the ideas had no logical follow-through. Such as if you make a deal, or negotiate, with your teen and they don't hold up their end of the bargain, then what? Since you're not supposed to punish your teen, I'm not exactly sure what you are supposed to do. Throw them out on the street? (That was actually mentioned a few times throughout, which, no)
There was a lot of helpful insight in this book; however, the authors’ very conservative take on sexual activity and the LBGTQ community and consequent sample conversations surrounding the topic were bizarre and often factually incorrect. Read with a critical eye!
Could I please put the best parts on a teleprompter so I have them in front of me when I need them?
Parenting Teens with Love (Mostly), Logic (Sort Of), and Fundamentalist Christianity that tells you not to be afraid to let your teen live on the street if they fail to live up to your standard of godly/humble obedience. The authors take this logic all the way, assuring us that, you know, sometimes kids die and we just need to accept that it's all part of god's plan.
I don't know if that's the message my step-kid's therapist was *trying* to send when she recommending this book, but it wasn't at all what I was wanting to hear.
I don't know if that's the message my step-kid's therapist was *trying* to send when she recommending this book, but it wasn't at all what I was wanting to hear.
I couldn’t finish it. It think the ideas in the book are actually very good, but the terrible writing and ridiculous examples and dialogue were too much of a distraction. All it would have taken from the author is just the tiniest bit of effort to consider how the teenagers they’re supposed to be an expert on actually speak and conduct themselves.
I was a big fan of Love and Logic guidance when my kids were younger, and hoped to glean some guidance from L&L once again as my kids approach their teens.
I appreciate the general L&L approach of of gentle parenting, relationship management, and natural consequences, however- the examples and some of the language in this book are sorely out of touch. It was first written in 1996 and in desperate need of updating.
Notes like “Girl X favored the crop tops and low rise jeans that she looked good- even too good- in, and shouldn’t be allowed to wear in public” are loaded with misogyny and body shaming and inappropriate.
Many of the examples also would really only apply to a very specific, privileged and white, subset of the population. The suggested response to a shoplifting incident included letting the police arrest and detain your child, then taking them to the station all the while talking about all the rapists and child predators that the child will be in the cell with overnight, because it’s an inconvenient time for the parent to come pick him up.
WTF? This A) Obviously doesn’t consider the trauma and risk that this might pose to kids who have seen others like themselves assaulted by police; B) Really goes over the top with the bit about sharing a cell with rapists; and C) Is clearly in a community where the police have literally nothing else to do; D) Is definitely not going to help the relationship between parent and child.
Even outside of these problematic examples, there’s no mention of phones, social media, gender, etc that are some of the biggest challenges facing parents in 2022.
TL:DR- Out of date and out of touch.
I appreciate the general L&L approach of of gentle parenting, relationship management, and natural consequences, however- the examples and some of the language in this book are sorely out of touch. It was first written in 1996 and in desperate need of updating.
Notes like “Girl X favored the crop tops and low rise jeans that she looked good- even too good- in, and shouldn’t be allowed to wear in public” are loaded with misogyny and body shaming and inappropriate.
Many of the examples also would really only apply to a very specific, privileged and white, subset of the population. The suggested response to a shoplifting incident included letting the police arrest and detain your child, then taking them to the station all the while talking about all the rapists and child predators that the child will be in the cell with overnight, because it’s an inconvenient time for the parent to come pick him up.
WTF? This A) Obviously doesn’t consider the trauma and risk that this might pose to kids who have seen others like themselves assaulted by police; B) Really goes over the top with the bit about sharing a cell with rapists; and C) Is clearly in a community where the police have literally nothing else to do; D) Is definitely not going to help the relationship between parent and child.
Even outside of these problematic examples, there’s no mention of phones, social media, gender, etc that are some of the biggest challenges facing parents in 2022.
TL:DR- Out of date and out of touch.
There’s too much wrong with this book to go into every detail. I read this book for a middle school book club. Extremely dated. Boomers are going to be boomers, and that’s basically the gist of this book. I do not recommend this book. There were some important topics covered, and instead of giving some real advice, the situational example would swing to some extreme of leave your kid in jail, let them live on the street, tell them to smoke outside, etc. Very dated and hokey conversation examples. I read love & logic book for my toddler, & I don’t remember it being this terrible.
Outdated:
P. 241: Learn about your kid’s taste in music by reading the newspaper and watching TV
-nope! Unless you want to look like a grandpa.
Commenting on kid’s appearances:
“Fang face”
“Fred was always an ugly kid.”
Weird:
-Dads might start feeling in competition with their sons for mom’s attention when their sons start puberty
Jobs:
That was some very strange advice. It was basically don’t get a job because kids these days just get jobs to purchase nice things. Not save up for college or their expenses.
Outdated:
P. 241: Learn about your kid’s taste in music by reading the newspaper and watching TV
-nope! Unless you want to look like a grandpa.
Commenting on kid’s appearances:
“Fang face”
“Fred was always an ugly kid.”
Weird:
-Dads might start feeling in competition with their sons for mom’s attention when their sons start puberty
Jobs:
That was some very strange advice. It was basically don’t get a job because kids these days just get jobs to purchase nice things. Not save up for college or their expenses.
“Quickly skimmed” rather than “read thoughtfully.” Tucked a few helpful phrases in my proverbial back pocket.