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4.04 AVERAGE
4.04 AVERAGE
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Oh Kafka…
Reading this broke my heart just as much as it made me feel hooked to his thoughts and feelings. Kafka wrote this letter to his father in 1919 though it was published in 1960. It is over 50 pages long and contains very possibly only a small portion of all the anguish Kafka must’ve felt due to his poor relationship with his father.
Man did reading this make me think about things. What made it so special to me was that Kafka himself claimed that his father never really physically hurt him, indeed there was no specific traumatic event or something that would logically cause such damage to a kid. Yet, the damage is there and it is just as persistent. Why? Because of years and years of mocking the child experiences, the feeling of worthlessness, weakness, and being incapable. It's because the child feels unwanted in this world, yet has no way out of it and no choice but to depend on the people who make him feel as if he shouldn’t. It's about the feeling the child gets when the people who gave them life are the very same ones who make them feel like they don’t really deserve it.
It’s a combination of feelings and memories that boil up in a person, shape their personality, their life and continue having their effects even years after moving out or cutting them off.
This is what Kafka’s letter is about. I suppose he experienced the common need to explain himself to someone who wronged him so very much – because a part of him still cares. A part of him wanted his father to like him, to be proud of him and most of all, to understand him. The lack of understanding from a parent can haunt one for years, especially if they don’t even want to understand. The way Kafka wrote about one’s life with an emotionally abusive parent is so authentic and really makes one realise the effect parents can have on us. From self esteem issues up to anxiety and depression, Kafka brought out the relationship of cause and effect when it came to why he grew up to be the man he was. And it was moving, it was saddening but it was mostly just realistic.
Kafka also illustrated perfectly the overwhelming feeling of trying to dissect your past and what went wrong there. Which of the fights were your fault, which were not? Was he right about this part of me or am I just insecure? Did this even happen the way I remember it did? A quote:“And if now I attempt to give you a written answer, it will still be a very incomplete one, because the whole scope of the subject far exceeds the reach of my memory and my mind.”
The book also illustrates the consequences of toxic masculinity which was especially destructive to young boys in the 20th century. All of this inhuman criteria a boy was supposed to fulfil in order to get the title of a “man” was oppressing. Kafka saw his father, an incredibly masculine and dominant guy as a role model – a standard he could never live up to. From a young age up until adulthood he felt like he was less of a man– a person– because he was physically weak, sensitive and shy. It really broke my heart to witness someone as brilliant of a writer to have such terrible self esteem.
This letter also made me think of a few things that might be the cause for my own problems. Anxiety, certain issues with health and both mental and physical symptoms Kafka described I recognised in myself too and that perhaps gives me a reason to think of the possible causes for those issues – and furthermore, the solutions to them. I think Kafka’s letter is something everyone should read but especially people who tend to have negative relationships with their parents. It gives you a certain clarity, through Kafka, it is possible to understand yourself and your problems better and it really gives you a lot to think about. Besides, it is nice to know that you are not alone in such problems and that your parent indeed does not have to beat you in order to do lifelong damage. Emotional abuse is also a form of abuse and I think this isn’t expressed enough especially in modern media.
Lastly, I want to compliment Kafka’s writing style. I did not enjoy Metamorphosis all that much but this letter really made me enjoy his writing. The way he phrases things has a certain effect on you.
Anyway, I will end this review now and I’m not sorry if this sounds more like a rant than a review – I think it gives a better understanding of his work if I’m honest, not practical.
Reading this broke my heart just as much as it made me feel hooked to his thoughts and feelings. Kafka wrote this letter to his father in 1919 though it was published in 1960. It is over 50 pages long and contains very possibly only a small portion of all the anguish Kafka must’ve felt due to his poor relationship with his father.
Man did reading this make me think about things. What made it so special to me was that Kafka himself claimed that his father never really physically hurt him, indeed there was no specific traumatic event or something that would logically cause such damage to a kid. Yet, the damage is there and it is just as persistent. Why? Because of years and years of mocking the child experiences, the feeling of worthlessness, weakness, and being incapable. It's because the child feels unwanted in this world, yet has no way out of it and no choice but to depend on the people who make him feel as if he shouldn’t. It's about the feeling the child gets when the people who gave them life are the very same ones who make them feel like they don’t really deserve it.
It’s a combination of feelings and memories that boil up in a person, shape their personality, their life and continue having their effects even years after moving out or cutting them off.
This is what Kafka’s letter is about. I suppose he experienced the common need to explain himself to someone who wronged him so very much – because a part of him still cares. A part of him wanted his father to like him, to be proud of him and most of all, to understand him. The lack of understanding from a parent can haunt one for years, especially if they don’t even want to understand. The way Kafka wrote about one’s life with an emotionally abusive parent is so authentic and really makes one realise the effect parents can have on us. From self esteem issues up to anxiety and depression, Kafka brought out the relationship of cause and effect when it came to why he grew up to be the man he was. And it was moving, it was saddening but it was mostly just realistic.
Kafka also illustrated perfectly the overwhelming feeling of trying to dissect your past and what went wrong there. Which of the fights were your fault, which were not? Was he right about this part of me or am I just insecure? Did this even happen the way I remember it did? A quote:“And if now I attempt to give you a written answer, it will still be a very incomplete one, because the whole scope of the subject far exceeds the reach of my memory and my mind.”
The book also illustrates the consequences of toxic masculinity which was especially destructive to young boys in the 20th century. All of this inhuman criteria a boy was supposed to fulfil in order to get the title of a “man” was oppressing. Kafka saw his father, an incredibly masculine and dominant guy as a role model – a standard he could never live up to. From a young age up until adulthood he felt like he was less of a man– a person– because he was physically weak, sensitive and shy. It really broke my heart to witness someone as brilliant of a writer to have such terrible self esteem.
This letter also made me think of a few things that might be the cause for my own problems. Anxiety, certain issues with health and both mental and physical symptoms Kafka described I recognised in myself too and that perhaps gives me a reason to think of the possible causes for those issues – and furthermore, the solutions to them. I think Kafka’s letter is something everyone should read but especially people who tend to have negative relationships with their parents. It gives you a certain clarity, through Kafka, it is possible to understand yourself and your problems better and it really gives you a lot to think about. Besides, it is nice to know that you are not alone in such problems and that your parent indeed does not have to beat you in order to do lifelong damage. Emotional abuse is also a form of abuse and I think this isn’t expressed enough especially in modern media.
Lastly, I want to compliment Kafka’s writing style. I did not enjoy Metamorphosis all that much but this letter really made me enjoy his writing. The way he phrases things has a certain effect on you.
Anyway, I will end this review now and I’m not sorry if this sounds more like a rant than a review – I think it gives a better understanding of his work if I’m honest, not practical.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
challenging
fast-paced
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I’m sorry not sorry to have read this personal and emotional letter Franz Kafka wrote to his father. In this long correspondence you see Kafka trying to explain how much his father had controlled over him and how much it made him the man he was. I absolutely loved it, I feel for Kafka. I think it was really interesting to read about his strain relationship with his father. They were so many things that were relatable. It also talk about eduction, psychology, low self esteem. These subjects grasped me, and were handled very well, I had to reflect upon it so many times. This letter felt like the conclusion of their relationship, as if Kafka was resolute to end it and it also felt as a way to get rid of a weigh he was carrying. I cannot wait to pick up his other books!