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Reviews
We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America by Roxanna Asgarian
sdlauram's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Unbearably sad and frustrating to read, but so necessary and so well written. My heart dropped so many times at everything the birth families had to go through. My blood burned at the delusion of the judges & CPS agents from Texas. I know they might be doing the best in the face of a racist, harmful state system but damn.
hongjoongie's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
bookreviewswithkb's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
5.0
this review contains heartfelt vulnerability, rambling included. the short version - i cannot recommend this book enough
We Were Once a Family is a searing work of journalism. Asgarian takes such great care in her writing, tenderly examining the intricately tied systemic issues that present themselves within the child welfare system, the unimaginable harm that the system inflicts on the children and families it claims to protect, and then pathologizes their responses to that harm. it’s a system filled with racism and abuse that needs to be abolished just as every other system in the united states needs to be abolished. the pain and the hurt experienced by the birth families of the 6 adopted children who were murdered by the Harts absolutely bleeds off the pages. i could feel my heart racing, constricting, each time i picked this book up. and i really appreciated the willingness to explore the harm adoption can create and of the protection that adoptive parents often hide behind because of the narrative ascribed to them
on a more personal note, Asgarian stamped down everything i see and feel on a daily basis working as a therapist in a residential treatment facility. i see the very abuse and harm she exposes, in real time and i vacillate constantly between staying and going, between thinking i must be wrong and knowing i’m not, between wanting to provide trauma treatment and knowing you can’t be treated in the same system that’s causing your trauma. blurring between complicity and dismantling from the inside so much that i feel like i can’t see through
i’m doubled over with a constriction in my heart