Reviews with content warning for Sexism - Black Girls Must Die Exhausted

Reviews tagging 'Sexism'

Black Girls Must Die Exhausted by Jayne Allen

5 reviews

teniamonet's review

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.5

By chapter 7 I truly felt exhausted by this book. If it wasn’t for the fact that I listened to it as an audio book I probably would have stopped reading. There were so many things that kept me from enjoying Black Girls Must Die Exhausted from the characters to the plot. It didn’t feel like any character had a complete arc and I truly don’t understand why this book has been stretched into a trilogy.

I don’t know what I was expecting from the title of this book, but this definitely wasn’t it. Also, what was with the repetitive recounts of Tabby’s life. As the reader I hated having to read practically the same exact lines over again because Tabby was telling the story to three separate groups of people. I feel like those scenes could have been written better. Spoilers after this line as I discuss my grievances with this story.

Why is Tabitha’s mother and grandmother pushing so hard for her to get by together with Mark and to try and understand where he is coming from? As a mother would you not want the best for your daughter? Your need for wanting grand children shouldn’t come before making sure your daughter is in a relationship that is actually secure and fulfilling. You shouldn’t want your daughter to face regrets by having a child with a man who isn’t ready.

Also it never is truly explained why it’s Tabby’s desire to be a wife and a mother outside from the influence she gets from her mother who has made her whole life goal being a wife and a mother. I feel like throughout this story it was never made clear what it was that Tabby really wanted and why. The only thing I was sure of her wanting was her job promotion and her dream house, but I was never quite sold on this dream she had of marriage and motherhood. Also, a baby is a baby whether it’s through natural conception, eggs being frozen or a sperm bank.

The idea of Tabby purposely choosing to “forget” taking her birth control made me feel disgust and her decision to not take a plan b pill made me feel anger. Thankfully, she wasn’t pregnant because I’m not sure how that would have worked out for her. Also I found her naivety about how to get a plan b and her fear of judgement to be annoying. This is a woman who is supposed to be a public figure and also in her thirties, that behavior is something I would expect of a teen or someone in their early twenties.

Her friendships seemed shallow and no matter how they tried to show Alexis, Laila and Tabby reconnecting at the end I wasn’t buying it. These women don’t share their feelings or what’s troubling them with each other and when they meet one on one they talk badly about the missing friend. Also, I feel like a lot of Tabby’s internal monologue about Alexis (her childhood friend) were negative and judgy. Originally it seemed like she had a stronger connection with Laila but after Laila’s suicide attempt even that was put into question.

Now, let’s discuss Mark. Tabby just freeze your eggs and move on, why was she trying so hard to mold this man into something he clearly doesn’t want to be. Mark was wasting her time, he knew what it was that she wanted and knew he wasn’t on the same page yet continued to hold on to her. It was also a huge red flag that they had been dating for over a year and Tabby hadn’t met anyone in his family. I kid you not when he took her out to dinner and confessed to his father being an alcoholic I said “what the fuck does that have to do with you and Tabby’s future and relationship” out loud. Clearly Mark needs to go to therapy and let Tabby go, why should she have to be patient and wait for you to decide if you want kids are not. The fact that he got upset with Tabby for not wanting to fight for their relationship, what would she be fighting for?

Also, Tabby trying to make her promotion a black vs. white thing and thinking about if she should leave her job. You got the job over your peer who you were competing with and your boss said he chose you because of your perspective, so what’s the problem. In the story Tabby herself mentions how she wants to tell the stories of the people who remain unheard, that’s the exact perspective her boss said she had. I didn’t think she had to make such a big deal about the promotion, I personally don’t think it diminished her accomplishments or how well she does her job.

This book felt very trauma heavy from trying to force the police brutality aspect down the throat of the reader and every other black issue. As well as why did every single black woman in this book seem to be struggling through life and couldn’t seem to find someone who truly just loved them so that they could be soft instead of strong. We have Alexis who has made her whole life about relationships who continued to stay with a man who dogged her out and would cheat multiple times when they were younger. Why would she then marry that same man and give him two children? You’re trying to tell me she couldn’t find someone better and had to settle? And then there’s Laila who was dating a married man! Yes she may not have known after the first night but the fact that she continued the relationship after knowing and then was surprised that he told her to get rid of the baby that they conceived was just stupid. I didn’t find myself liking or rooting for any of these characters.

From the epilogue it seems like Tabby has gotten her promotion, her house and her baby. Happy for her, but the fact that it seems like Mark is still going to be around is enough for me to have no interest in the other books despite my terrible experience with book one.

Safe to say I will not be reading the other two books in this trilogy. Gave an extra .5 in the rating just for Miss Gretchen who seemed to be the only character who was smart.

Content Warnings