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3.3k reviews for:
How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders
Dale Carnegie
3.85 AVERAGE
3.3k reviews for:
How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders
Dale Carnegie
3.85 AVERAGE
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Incredibly helpful. Not at all manipulative as the name might suggest.
I feel so bad but I need to be honest: I cannot finish this. The stories don't resonate. Maybe it's just me, but I would rather just read the rules than the entire book.
Just as you cannot tell a sad person, "Well, why don't you try to be happier?"; you cannot tell someone to be "genuinely interested in others" and "open their hearts." To me, these are such empty phrases and are SO not helpful. They only make me feel more "handicapped" because of my poor communication and social skills and shrink even more. Those can be achieved, yes, but not that way.
Many of these are good rules of thumb that if you can remember in the moment, they are good for business. But that's about it.
In Susan Cain's Quiet, she mentioned Carnegie and talked about how the confident extrovert ideal was and still is highly sought after in society. I think I felt that reading this book, aka not-belong. I think a lot of what is praised such as charisma are traits that you either have or you don't. Yes, you can cultivate those, just like a rubber band, you can stretch, but only so far, only so much, until you break.
Just as you cannot tell a sad person, "Well, why don't you try to be happier?"; you cannot tell someone to be "genuinely interested in others" and "open their hearts." To me, these are such empty phrases and are SO not helpful. They only make me feel more "handicapped" because of my poor communication and social skills and shrink even more. Those can be achieved, yes, but not that way.
Many of these are good rules of thumb that if you can remember in the moment, they are good for business. But that's about it.
In Susan Cain's Quiet, she mentioned Carnegie and talked about how the confident extrovert ideal was and still is highly sought after in society. I think I felt that reading this book, aka not-belong. I think a lot of what is praised such as charisma are traits that you either have or you don't. Yes, you can cultivate those, just like a rubber band, you can stretch, but only so far, only so much, until you break.
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
funny
informative
medium-paced
I decided to listen to this audio book after a friend recommended it. As a doctor who sees lots of patients and works with many doctors-in-training, she found it interesting and helpful in terms of thinking about the way she communicates with people. As a high school teacher, I thought maybe listening to it could help me in the classroom, so I gave it a listen.
I am sure there is a modern version of this text out there. In fact, as it was originally published in 1936, I would imagine most, self-help books related to communication and relationships are strongly influenced by it. That being said, this is a very dry listen. Dale Carnegie has a classic, beautiful voice, but it felt very monotonous, like he was reading from the phonebook. I had to stop listening on my way to work as a few times I thought I might nod off. Had I tried to read a physical book, I'd have given up right away. There were even times I wanted to quit listening, but I hung on.
Some issues I had with this book:
-There is a lot of repetition. I mean that literally. Several times, Carnegie make a point, and then say, "I'm going to say that again, because it's important you hear hear it twice..."
-The book is very long-winded. It's broken up into four parts, which each have several chapters, and then several "principles" in each chapter. Many of these chapters/principles are similar. It's a lot of the same ideas over and over.
-Much of what Carnegie suggests seemed kind of fake, and at times even slimy to me. For example, in the section "If You're Wrong, Admit It" he discusses the idea that if you know you're at fault, it's usually better to address it before you need to be told. He tells a story about taking his small dog to a large park, where he knew the dog was supposed to be leashed, but he let the dog run free. He's stopped by a cop who gives him a stern warning. Soon after, he's at the park again with his dog off-leash. He sees that same cop and starts saying things like, "I'm sorry, I know I'm in the wrong. You warned me last time that I'd be fined if I did it again, and I'm prepared to face those consequences," after which, the cop apparently let him off, saying it wasn't a big deal, and to leash the dog next time. Something about that whole exchange really bothered me. Through out the book Carnegie emphasizes being genuine about your praise and in your actions, but this seemed totally "Eddie Haskell" to me.
As mentioned, there are a lot of great points in this book, and I know a good amount of people who would benefit from reading it, but I have a feeling these same people wouldn't have have the patience to listen let alone read the whole thing. If you're really interested, skim the table of contents, and I think you'd be set.
I am sure there is a modern version of this text out there. In fact, as it was originally published in 1936, I would imagine most, self-help books related to communication and relationships are strongly influenced by it. That being said, this is a very dry listen. Dale Carnegie has a classic, beautiful voice, but it felt very monotonous, like he was reading from the phonebook. I had to stop listening on my way to work as a few times I thought I might nod off. Had I tried to read a physical book, I'd have given up right away. There were even times I wanted to quit listening, but I hung on.
Some issues I had with this book:
-There is a lot of repetition. I mean that literally. Several times, Carnegie make a point, and then say, "I'm going to say that again, because it's important you hear hear it twice..."
-The book is very long-winded. It's broken up into four parts, which each have several chapters, and then several "principles" in each chapter. Many of these chapters/principles are similar. It's a lot of the same ideas over and over.
-Much of what Carnegie suggests seemed kind of fake, and at times even slimy to me. For example, in the section "If You're Wrong, Admit It" he discusses the idea that if you know you're at fault, it's usually better to address it before you need to be told. He tells a story about taking his small dog to a large park, where he knew the dog was supposed to be leashed, but he let the dog run free. He's stopped by a cop who gives him a stern warning. Soon after, he's at the park again with his dog off-leash. He sees that same cop and starts saying things like, "I'm sorry, I know I'm in the wrong. You warned me last time that I'd be fined if I did it again, and I'm prepared to face those consequences," after which, the cop apparently let him off, saying it wasn't a big deal, and to leash the dog next time. Something about that whole exchange really bothered me. Through out the book Carnegie emphasizes being genuine about your praise and in your actions, but this seemed totally "Eddie Haskell" to me.
As mentioned, there are a lot of great points in this book, and I know a good amount of people who would benefit from reading it, but I have a feeling these same people wouldn't have have the patience to listen let alone read the whole thing. If you're really interested, skim the table of contents, and I think you'd be set.
The stories are wholesome and the overall morals are good.
This book isn’t a call to become close to people that behave poorly toward you. It’s a call to behave in such a way that you don’t belittle even those people that try to belittle you and tap into your own humanity. It's a good reminder that even the hardest hearts can be softened.
This book isn’t a call to become close to people that behave poorly toward you. It’s a call to behave in such a way that you don’t belittle even those people that try to belittle you and tap into your own humanity. It's a good reminder that even the hardest hearts can be softened.
There are good ideas in this book and ideas I will try to apply however even being a shorter book it began to feel repetitive. Towards the end I had to fight to finish it.
A simple and powerful book. Yes, the examples are dated and quaint, but that doesn't diminish their impact.
This will help me in business, this will help me in life--especially when dealing with difficult people and situations. It's a fine reminder to consider the perspective of others, and to lead with kindness, humility, and encouragement.
This will help me in business, this will help me in life--especially when dealing with difficult people and situations. It's a fine reminder to consider the perspective of others, and to lead with kindness, humility, and encouragement.
the win friends advice are very elementary concepts but the leadership advice was decent to read through…was bored as hell through the first half though