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4.1 AVERAGE
4.1 AVERAGE
Rating: 4/5
This was such a cute love story. This book featured a bisexual and gay boy who fall in love in a very religious town so during this entire book, I felt really nervous for them because I shipped them so much and they were so cute.
I loved how it dealt with a bisexual main character and it brought up a lot of misconception of what being bisexual means. The representation was definitely needed. I also loved Tanner's family, I loved how accepting they were of him which is sadly hard to find sometimes.
I definitely recommend this book. It's so cute and the love story is absolutely adorable. I also love the idea of the Seminar class, where they write a book in the second semester of their senior year; it definitely sounds like a dream class and it was one of my favorite aspects of this book.
This was such a cute love story. This book featured a bisexual and gay boy who fall in love in a very religious town so during this entire book, I felt really nervous for them because I shipped them so much and they were so cute.
I loved how it dealt with a bisexual main character and it brought up a lot of misconception of what being bisexual means. The representation was definitely needed. I also loved Tanner's family, I loved how accepting they were of him which is sadly hard to find sometimes.
I definitely recommend this book. It's so cute and the love story is absolutely adorable. I also love the idea of the Seminar class, where they write a book in the second semester of their senior year; it definitely sounds like a dream class and it was one of my favorite aspects of this book.
*rating may change
the first 2/3-3/4 was good but then a few things happened in the last part that i couldn't quite overlook
edit: yeah i changed this sorry i can't stop thinking about how much that last 1/3 pissed me off
the first 2/3-3/4 was good but then a few things happened in the last part that i couldn't quite overlook
edit: yeah i changed this sorry i can't stop thinking about how much that last 1/3 pissed me off
Picked this up thinking it would be a simple cute boy-meets-boy YA. Did not expect it the reflect so much of my own experience—and the experience of so many I know—growing up Mormon and going to BYU. Disclaimer: no longer actively Mormon but I felt like this book gave a compassionate and nuanced perspective of what it means to navigate queerness in Mormon culture.
This was an amazing read. Every topic is dealt with so carefully and right. I loved that the main character was bisexual, we don't get to see a lot of those. And also debunk some of those misconceptions people always assume.
Both Tanner and Sebastian were such lovely characters, you just want the best for them. No matter what happens you can't be upset with any of them because you can imagine how bad the other must feel as well.
The religious part of this was very intriguing and it was dealt with very well even if I as a non religious person can't have an accurate opinion on that. Overall the love these boys have for each other is so pure you can't help but root and want the best for them.
Both Tanner and Sebastian were such lovely characters, you just want the best for them. No matter what happens you can't be upset with any of them because you can imagine how bad the other must feel as well.
The religious part of this was very intriguing and it was dealt with very well even if I as a non religious person can't have an accurate opinion on that. Overall the love these boys have for each other is so pure you can't help but root and want the best for them.
I almost neeeever write reviews on goodreads because I feel like if I were an author it would BURN MY FEELINGS to read reviews and also it’s not exactly helpful; the book is already out and your constructive criticism is not exactly relevant. Also, the toxic world of goodreads reviews and ya lit is WILD and bad. BUT this book hit reeeeally close to home and as a bisexual from Provo living in Orem I both feel obligated to weigh in and weirdly also I really really want to which is UNUSUAL for me but here we are.
I have to start by being an ass and pointing out the like three totally inconsequential and very petty things that briefly jolted me out of the otherwise perfectly constructed Mormon Utah County environment that I have lived and breathed for actual literal decades: at one point Sebastian says “the Heavenly Father,” but no one would ever tack on the “the” (I WARNED YOU IT WAS PETTY). Also, if your last name were Brother, there is no Mormon in the entire state who wouldn’t make a joke about being Brother Brother literally every time you talked to them. I have actively heard this joke and its iterations a countless number of times, which is depressing. Also, a Mormon character at the start of the book said “oh my god!” which would NEVER HAPPEN EVER NOT EVER NO. In other news though my favorite cultural moment was when someone in a prayer said “Bless that we can remember this lesson and apply it to our daily lives.” Spot on and also I died.
THAT IS THE END OF THE PETTINESS otherwise it was so uncanny reading a book about Provo by two people who aren’t even from Provo who got it so insanely right. Also, it was really, really fun. I have been to that Fat Cats! I have been to the library! I have done and highly recommend the hike that goes past the smaller Y hike! It’s much prettier than the stupid ugly just to the Y hike and I recommend it heartily! I have spent countless hours studying in the HFAC! I have been to book launches at the Deseret Book on University! I seriously am wowed by the research the authors did to make this book’s tone and setting super authentic. Kudos.
Now I will talk about why I ended up giving this book five stars when for so much of the book I was waffling between three and five!!!! I started off towards the three end because while Tanner felt like a fully realized character, Sebastian didn’t. For the first half of the book, he just felt (TO ME) like an over-the-top kind of stock Mormon. Like I grew up the holiest and most scrupulous of holy Mormons and went to high school in the heart of Utah County and even /I/ didn’t talk like that. I would never have casually dropped “I felt the Spirit while writing it” in the middle of a conversation at school (sidebar I didn’t include this in the petty section because it was a bigger character issue with a Mormon character okay I hope that makes sense even though is a tonal thing) barring like in my seminary class. And his initial agonizing over dating and kissing Tanner seemed not agonizing enough based on personal experience and observation? But again I have scrupulosity and panicked for years about how I needed forgiveness for kissing a boy when i was six years old and once thought I set Y Mountain on fire with my mind because I was looking at pictures of boobs and god was punishing me so I might be biased.
Anyways, towards the end of the book Sebastian started to seem much more human to me; the last quarter or so was fantastic and fully recognizable and I loved it and him. That was honestly my one quibble with a Mormon character—the side characters, especially Sebastian’s parents, were ten out of ten spot on.
In the end I gave the book five stars I think because of that last quarter of the book where it became deeply heartbreaking and deeply relatable. Some passages that particularly resonated with me, your friendly neighborhood token bisexual ex-ish-Mormon still living in Utah County, INCLUDE:
-“‘Being gay isn’t wrong, but it’s not God’s plan either.’ He shakes his head, and I think this moment, right here, is when it really hits me that Sebastian’s identity isn’t queer. It’s not gay. It’s not even soccer player or boyfriend or son. It’s /Mormon/.”
-“I love so many things about the church. Speaking to God feels like instinct, like it’s wired into me. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I left. It’s like standing in an open field and trying to point to the four walls. There’s just no framework to my life without the church.”
-“‘im sorry,’ he tells her, ever the repentant son. Without question, he knows her anger comes from the intensity of her love. Imagine, he thinks, worrying that your family would be separated from you for eternity. Imagine truly believing that God loves all His Children, except when they love each other in the wrong way. To think God loves the trees, his brain paraphrases from a book he read once, but condemns that blossoming thing they do in the spring.”
-“Missing him every day for the rest of my life was still better than the fight Sebastian had: to stuff himself inside a box every morning and tuck that box inside his heart and pray that his heart kept beating around that obstacle.”
Some other things I liked about this book INCLUDE:
-autumn and tanner’s relationship agghhhhh it was cute and pure and good
-the sibling relationships in both families. The way Sebastian’s younger siblings started isolating themselves from him as if he were infectious was oof #relatable and real and ahhhh
-Tanner’s cute relationship with his cute parents. I love ya books with good parent relationships love love love them!!!!!! I was reminded of Jennifer Garner’s portrayal of Simon’s mom in Love Simon and also of the dad in Call Me By Your Name. Such good portrayals and thins that make me cry and wonderful relationships to read about.
-just like? Good? Writing???? Good writing. Thanks 4 the good writing.
-the beautiful moment when tanner saw the family proc framed and on Sebastian’s parents’ wall and was like what the hell......IS this and then later referred to it as “oppressive plaque” same
-oh also just the entire tour of Tanner’s parents’ house with aaaaallllll the Jesus pictures and Joseph Smith pictures like. Amazing. It reminded me of that Elementary episode where they go to an ex-Mormon returned missionary’s house and I was like this looks EXACTLY like an ex Mormon RM’s house someone did their RESEARCH WOW.
ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY A SPOILER SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION BUT I am so, so relieved the book ended happily. I was so resigned to an unhappy ending I think precisely because I grew up here and live here and happy endings are....hard?? Not necessarily common? Maybe that’s unfair, but since everything always feels like an uphill battle, the struggle is achingly, painfully real. So having a hopeful, cute, adorable, positive, heartbreaking and heartwarming ending was wonderful and, I think, the right call. I think we need more happy endings set in this weird bizarre place and I’m so grateful the authors gave us one.
THAT IS THE END OF THE SPOILERS.
I also really appreciated the resources at the end of the book and am SO SO TOUCHED that they included encircle ;—; a wonderful community resource that is doing a lot of good, IMO. Also thanks for including the link to bisexualbooks.com and also having such a wonderful bi main character—in a world of evil bisexual characters even in some of my fave lgbtq ya books, this was a blessed relief.
Alright well this has been a review, if you are a fellow queer kid living in Utah or in a Mormon family 10/10 recommend this darling book, and also recommend if you’re someone living somewhere else because I loved that this book gave a sympathetic look at Mormons (I talk shit about Mormons and booooy howdy have Mormons done some THINGS) but it’s one of those things where I’M allowed to talk shit but if a community outsider does I get really defensive, so I appreciated the more nuanced portrait here) while also being like hey obviously it’s not cool to treat people this way and you do deserve happiness and to love yourself and maybe it will be hard but it’s right and good and people are rooting for you and love you and are here to help. Wow what a cute good book.
The end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to start by being an ass and pointing out the like three totally inconsequential and very petty things that briefly jolted me out of the otherwise perfectly constructed Mormon Utah County environment that I have lived and breathed for actual literal decades: at one point Sebastian says “the Heavenly Father,” but no one would ever tack on the “the” (I WARNED YOU IT WAS PETTY). Also, if your last name were Brother, there is no Mormon in the entire state who wouldn’t make a joke about being Brother Brother literally every time you talked to them. I have actively heard this joke and its iterations a countless number of times, which is depressing. Also, a Mormon character at the start of the book said “oh my god!” which would NEVER HAPPEN EVER NOT EVER NO. In other news though my favorite cultural moment was when someone in a prayer said “Bless that we can remember this lesson and apply it to our daily lives.” Spot on and also I died.
THAT IS THE END OF THE PETTINESS otherwise it was so uncanny reading a book about Provo by two people who aren’t even from Provo who got it so insanely right. Also, it was really, really fun. I have been to that Fat Cats! I have been to the library! I have done and highly recommend the hike that goes past the smaller Y hike! It’s much prettier than the stupid ugly just to the Y hike and I recommend it heartily! I have spent countless hours studying in the HFAC! I have been to book launches at the Deseret Book on University! I seriously am wowed by the research the authors did to make this book’s tone and setting super authentic. Kudos.
Now I will talk about why I ended up giving this book five stars when for so much of the book I was waffling between three and five!!!! I started off towards the three end because while Tanner felt like a fully realized character, Sebastian didn’t. For the first half of the book, he just felt (TO ME) like an over-the-top kind of stock Mormon. Like I grew up the holiest and most scrupulous of holy Mormons and went to high school in the heart of Utah County and even /I/ didn’t talk like that. I would never have casually dropped “I felt the Spirit while writing it” in the middle of a conversation at school (sidebar I didn’t include this in the petty section because it was a bigger character issue with a Mormon character okay I hope that makes sense even though is a tonal thing) barring like in my seminary class. And his initial agonizing over dating and kissing Tanner seemed not agonizing enough based on personal experience and observation? But again I have scrupulosity and panicked for years about how I needed forgiveness for kissing a boy when i was six years old and once thought I set Y Mountain on fire with my mind because I was looking at pictures of boobs and god was punishing me so I might be biased.
Anyways, towards the end of the book Sebastian started to seem much more human to me; the last quarter or so was fantastic and fully recognizable and I loved it and him. That was honestly my one quibble with a Mormon character—the side characters, especially Sebastian’s parents, were ten out of ten spot on.
In the end I gave the book five stars I think because of that last quarter of the book where it became deeply heartbreaking and deeply relatable. Some passages that particularly resonated with me, your friendly neighborhood token bisexual ex-ish-Mormon still living in Utah County, INCLUDE:
-“‘Being gay isn’t wrong, but it’s not God’s plan either.’ He shakes his head, and I think this moment, right here, is when it really hits me that Sebastian’s identity isn’t queer. It’s not gay. It’s not even soccer player or boyfriend or son. It’s /Mormon/.”
-“I love so many things about the church. Speaking to God feels like instinct, like it’s wired into me. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I left. It’s like standing in an open field and trying to point to the four walls. There’s just no framework to my life without the church.”
-“‘im sorry,’ he tells her, ever the repentant son. Without question, he knows her anger comes from the intensity of her love. Imagine, he thinks, worrying that your family would be separated from you for eternity. Imagine truly believing that God loves all His Children, except when they love each other in the wrong way. To think God loves the trees, his brain paraphrases from a book he read once, but condemns that blossoming thing they do in the spring.”
-“Missing him every day for the rest of my life was still better than the fight Sebastian had: to stuff himself inside a box every morning and tuck that box inside his heart and pray that his heart kept beating around that obstacle.”
Some other things I liked about this book INCLUDE:
-autumn and tanner’s relationship agghhhhh it was cute and pure and good
-the sibling relationships in both families. The way Sebastian’s younger siblings started isolating themselves from him as if he were infectious was oof #relatable and real and ahhhh
-Tanner’s cute relationship with his cute parents. I love ya books with good parent relationships love love love them!!!!!! I was reminded of Jennifer Garner’s portrayal of Simon’s mom in Love Simon and also of the dad in Call Me By Your Name. Such good portrayals and thins that make me cry and wonderful relationships to read about.
-just like? Good? Writing???? Good writing. Thanks 4 the good writing.
-the beautiful moment when tanner saw the family proc framed and on Sebastian’s parents’ wall and was like what the hell......IS this and then later referred to it as “oppressive plaque” same
-oh also just the entire tour of Tanner’s parents’ house with aaaaallllll the Jesus pictures and Joseph Smith pictures like. Amazing. It reminded me of that Elementary episode where they go to an ex-Mormon returned missionary’s house and I was like this looks EXACTLY like an ex Mormon RM’s house someone did their RESEARCH WOW.
ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY A SPOILER SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION BUT I am so, so relieved the book ended happily. I was so resigned to an unhappy ending I think precisely because I grew up here and live here and happy endings are....hard?? Not necessarily common? Maybe that’s unfair, but since everything always feels like an uphill battle, the struggle is achingly, painfully real. So having a hopeful, cute, adorable, positive, heartbreaking and heartwarming ending was wonderful and, I think, the right call. I think we need more happy endings set in this weird bizarre place and I’m so grateful the authors gave us one.
THAT IS THE END OF THE SPOILERS.
I also really appreciated the resources at the end of the book and am SO SO TOUCHED that they included encircle ;—; a wonderful community resource that is doing a lot of good, IMO. Also thanks for including the link to bisexualbooks.com and also having such a wonderful bi main character—in a world of evil bisexual characters even in some of my fave lgbtq ya books, this was a blessed relief.
Alright well this has been a review, if you are a fellow queer kid living in Utah or in a Mormon family 10/10 recommend this darling book, and also recommend if you’re someone living somewhere else because I loved that this book gave a sympathetic look at Mormons (I talk shit about Mormons and booooy howdy have Mormons done some THINGS) but it’s one of those things where I’M allowed to talk shit but if a community outsider does I get really defensive, so I appreciated the more nuanced portrait here) while also being like hey obviously it’s not cool to treat people this way and you do deserve happiness and to love yourself and maybe it will be hard but it’s right and good and people are rooting for you and love you and are here to help. Wow what a cute good book.
The end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Compelling voice and love story, and some really good thoughts on not only lgbtq relationships, but also relationships in general. Ending's a little weak, but pretty good overall.
honestly the title of this book was so bad that I thought I was never going to read it even though I love ya lgbtq books. But it was really cute! I didn't realize it had a lot to do with mormons which is a plus because I'm still not over the 2011 tony award winning musical BOM. The relationship was a little rushed? but at the same time I forgive it because I feel like when there is like only one other gay around and your repressed you get caught up pretty quickly. The main character Tanner sometimes did things that were like real dumb, but he grew and learned from them and like young love or whatever. I thought some of the side characters could have been more developed especially Autumn whose entire life centered around Tanner. But overall very sweet and did not give simple answers to complex situations which I appreciated
I really enjoyed this. The characters were wonderful, funny, and developed well- I absolutely adored Tanner especially.
The plot stressed me out a little bit due to the religious aspects and the restrictions it placed on the main character's relationships. It just made me worry for the main characters.
The story was heartfelt, sweet, and the ending made me very happy. I would highly recommend this one!
The plot stressed me out a little bit due to the religious aspects and the restrictions it placed on the main character's relationships. It just made me worry for the main characters.
The story was heartfelt, sweet, and the ending made me very happy. I would highly recommend this one!
my kink: tanner addressing the church’s hypocrisy