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lifeinpoetry's review
4.0
My frustrations with this book all have to do with the editor and their reliance on the sorts of things taught by oblivious fellow professionals in the intro and followup questions.
The intro says its a diverse collection but there's no Latinx or SWANA diaspora voices and only one indigenous voice. Two words: "differently abled." I mean, I know there are the few disabled people who prefer "person with disabilities" but the majority of disabled people prefer "disabled" and almost none prefer "differently abled" despite it sometimes being painted as the morally correct choice by some abled advocates. There was a kind of oblivious social justice language created by those outside the communities suffering injustice.
& the questions after the piece by the editor were so awkward. "Are you okay now?" needed to be more specific. Recovery is a process. You can be largely recovered and what society considers "okay" because you're functioning but still be affected in significant ways. Also, "okay" is so different to people who live/d in abusive situations or deal with long-term mental health issues.
So, my rating is a 4 and not lower because of the people who told their stories.
The intro says its a diverse collection but there's no Latinx or SWANA diaspora voices and only one indigenous voice. Two words: "differently abled." I mean, I know there are the few disabled people who prefer "person with disabilities" but the majority of disabled people prefer "disabled" and almost none prefer "differently abled" despite it sometimes being painted as the morally correct choice by some abled advocates. There was a kind of oblivious social justice language created by those outside the communities suffering injustice.
& the questions after the piece by the editor were so awkward. "Are you okay now?" needed to be more specific. Recovery is a process. You can be largely recovered and what society considers "okay" because you're functioning but still be affected in significant ways. Also, "okay" is so different to people who live/d in abusive situations or deal with long-term mental health issues.
So, my rating is a 4 and not lower because of the people who told their stories.
tormerritt's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
jenmaysiereads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
medium-paced
Unrated out of 5 stars.
Read this.
‘Things We Haven’t Said’ is a collected work of bravery, honesty, hope, and pain. The combination of essay and poem, the blending of creative non-fiction with such beautiful prose was wonderful. The personal stories told in ‘Things We Haven’t Said’ are all gut-wrenching and painful in their own ways and each story deserves to be lingered upon, thought about, and remembered. The ‘unfiltered’ sections in which the author of each piece is interviewed were also very enlightening and important to me. The inclusion of this aspect in the text was, in my opinion, a stroke of brilliance. I liked the more direct and raw discussions that occurred, even if I found some of the questions repetitive and unnecessary at times.
I sincerely thank everyone who contributed to this work for their time, strength, and courage in speaking out—reading this book was supremely personal and cathartic to me on many levels.
My primary issue stems from the editing. As an editor myself, there were multiple times in which I noticed issues in the writing (such as clunky prose or just incorrect spellings) and the typesetting that I believe were more than obvious. This is a shame because these would occur most often in the middle of a survivor's story and completely derail the emotional flow of the piece. I doubt this would have been an issue if this was published through a major publisher or if a little more time had been spent on the editing and proofreading process.
My second problem is a more personal one; the focus on the phrase “recovery”. As a person who relates very closely to some of the stories told in this collection, I don’t believe that recovery is necessarily possible. I believe healing is possible, but I don’t believe those who have experienced sexual violence can ever truly ‘recover’ to before the event, and it was comforting to see the majority of the contributors agree with that when asked the question “are you okay now?” (Frankly, I found that question stupid.) But I find the concept of recovery in this context wholly unrealistic, so it’s only a mild and personal gripe.
Ultimately, this book was very hard to read. I had visceral reactions of disgust, horror, and grief multiple times while reading this and I was careful to take my time with each piece out of respect for each author and as an act of self-care for myself. Read this. The stories in this collection will break your heart; one story, in particular, made me cry so much and meant the world to me. When you pick this book up it will be hard but it will also be worth it.
Read this.
‘Things We Haven’t Said’ is a collected work of bravery, honesty, hope, and pain. The combination of essay and poem, the blending of creative non-fiction with such beautiful prose was wonderful. The personal stories told in ‘Things We Haven’t Said’ are all gut-wrenching and painful in their own ways and each story deserves to be lingered upon, thought about, and remembered. The ‘unfiltered’ sections in which the author of each piece is interviewed were also very enlightening and important to me. The inclusion of this aspect in the text was, in my opinion, a stroke of brilliance. I liked the more direct and raw discussions that occurred, even if I found some of the questions repetitive and unnecessary at times.
I sincerely thank everyone who contributed to this work for their time, strength, and courage in speaking out—reading this book was supremely personal and cathartic to me on many levels.
My primary issue stems from the editing. As an editor myself, there were multiple times in which I noticed issues in the writing (such as clunky prose or just incorrect spellings) and the typesetting that I believe were more than obvious. This is a shame because these would occur most often in the middle of a survivor's story and completely derail the emotional flow of the piece. I doubt this would have been an issue if this was published through a major publisher or if a little more time had been spent on the editing and proofreading process.
My second problem is a more personal one; the focus on the phrase “recovery”. As a person who relates very closely to some of the stories told in this collection, I don’t believe that recovery is necessarily possible. I believe healing is possible, but I don’t believe those who have experienced sexual violence can ever truly ‘recover’ to before the event, and it was comforting to see the majority of the contributors agree with that when asked the question “are you okay now?” (Frankly, I found that question stupid.) But I find the concept of recovery in this context wholly unrealistic, so it’s only a mild and personal gripe.
Ultimately, this book was very hard to read. I had visceral reactions of disgust, horror, and grief multiple times while reading this and I was careful to take my time with each piece out of respect for each author and as an act of self-care for myself. Read this. The stories in this collection will break your heart; one story, in particular, made me cry so much and meant the world to me. When you pick this book up it will be hard but it will also be worth it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Rape, Incest, Sexual violence, and Physical abuse
amdame1's review against another edition
4.0
Collection of short stories by people who have survived sexual assault in many different types and situations. Each is followed by a sort interview and a summary of where they are today. A very difficult read because of the topic. But because of format can be "chunked". Also has some hope to it because each person is a survivor even if they are still grappling with issues today. Also because of format you don't get to know the person as well as you do in a longer story like Polo Tate's or Chessy Prout's. #metoo
So many trigger warnings, but the foreword speaks to this very eloquently.
So many trigger warnings, but the foreword speaks to this very eloquently.
stevielynne's review against another edition
2.0
I flew through this collection. I wish I could give half stars, because I'd give this. 2.5. The stories themselves are heartbreaking and beautiful. However, I wish there had been a better range. Yes, sexual violence is a gendered issue. But there was a noticable lack of male survivors' voices. There was also a flowing theme of familial grooming. That's my story, but it's not everyone's.
I find myself wondering how these essays were collected and the timing of it. It's a good idea, and an important topic to bring attention to. I just can't stop myself from thinking that this collection was thrown together quickly to capitalize on the #metoo movement.
I find myself wondering how these essays were collected and the timing of it. It's a good idea, and an important topic to bring attention to. I just can't stop myself from thinking that this collection was thrown together quickly to capitalize on the #metoo movement.
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