Reviews

How Are You, Really? Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time by Jenna Kutcher

marlisenicole's review against another edition

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reflective medium-paced

3.0

hsegdash's review

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5.0

I started reading as a quick in between novels side book, but quickly became the longer read with all the considerations.

gbayesta's review

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challenging hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

5.0

apiffanygb's review

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2.0

Starting off, I enjoyed the book and it triggered some self-reflection. But then after the intro and first chapter, it was more memoir that I didn’t really care for.

kkatemarie's review

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hopeful informative inspiring reflective slow-paced

4.5

joyejenkins's review

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4.0

Quotes:

"The truth is, sometimes we don't listen to how we're feeling because we can't yet 'hear' and we haven't yet learned how. Sometimes the noise of the world just drowns out our souls. Sometimes we don't wake up to how we're feeling because we didn't know we could set an alarm. But other times? We don't listen because we don't want to. The messages are not easy to hear."

"And while I'd never argue every single feeling is worth acting on, I will always, unabashedly say this: every feeling is worth feeling. Because when we ask How does this really feel? and we get quiet enough to listen for the answer, there's something else happening simultaneously. We're telling ourselves the feeling is real. In doing so, we recognize we are real. We stop erasing ourselves. We don't run and hide from our questions. We let them command our attention and, thus, we speak."

"Here's the thing: we all know that bad days are inevitable, they will come, and we will survive them, like we've survived all the hard days we've already encountered. But I'm not talking about a few bad days here and there; I'm talking about the hard days that turn into hard weeks, months, and even years. When the bad days become the norm, when they outnumber the good ones, and you can't really remember the last time you felt true joy or were excited to get out of bed in the morning, then it might be a sign that you need a change."

"Here's why: when you're navigating an unfulfilled life and you know it, it doesn't just impact you. (Even though I want to gently remind you that impacting you would be 100 percent enough.) It shows up in the way you interact with your family, the energy you bring into your work, and the way you experience the world. It pokes its head out in the way you treat the cashier at the pharmacy, the way you speak to your colleagues, and the way you scoff at the neighbor kid who picks a flower out of your landscaped front yard.
The way you show up changes when your external reality doesn't match your internal desire. You don't have to be a chemist to understand the reaction when these two warring notions meet: bitterness. And once you feel that? Once you wake up to that? Well, it's time to make the decision only you can make."

"you don't have to predict the future in order to play big in the present. There's inherent risk in doing anything new, even if it's just a risk to your ego, because learning something new can be a big 'ol challenge to your confidence. It's about having faith that - if you fall - the fall won't kill you. Because falling down is so much better than never rising up."

"While we witness our own changes, we can't help but see it in the people around us. And when the people we love most change? This can be the most staggering shift of all."

"Change is inevitable. It's as imminent as the moon and the tide and the seasonal Starbucks menu. It's a rite of passage for all of us. Transformation is power, energy, momentum. It keeps us moving forward. It's the one given in life - that everything will change, that all will be made new, that evolution is just around the corner for us all.
And while it can be jarring as hell, I'm here to tell you this: It's okay to change your mind. (It's also okay not to.) It's okay to have different dreams as you grow and age, to transform who you are and who you want to become. We don't yet know everything there is to know. We haven't yet gone through all the experiences in our lives. We aren't finished learning. All of this means we can't lock ourselves into a commitment to never change our minds, unless we commit to never changing our lives. And even then, good luck, because change comes for us all."

"There's this insight in cognitive science called the sunk cost fallacy,' Dr Shankar says. '[It leads] us to irrationally cling to things that we've put a lot of time and effort into because we don't want to experience the costs of departing.' That's why so many of us worry that abandoning something we once loved will cost us someday, and in doing so, we disregard what living a life that is unfulfilled is costing us today."

"Bad days? I had a lot of them. But my bad days created a tough love (or as I like to call it, "strong love") for myself that still calls me up and out of sitting too long in my anger or sadness, simply waiting for things to change. Because we all do that, don't we? We cloak our doubts in a word called "waiting." We fall back on what's practical. We crave an identity shift, but we refuse to fully believe we are capable of newness. We stop our footsteps from inching closer to change. We even trick ourselves into thinking that "someday" will be so different from our "today" but do nothing to make the difference occur. And we find ourselves dreaming about an improved life without actively working toward it."

"Your pain can expand your deep well of empathy. Your fear can heighten your desire for change. Your grief may prove to be a strength to open up the experiences that await you, making them richer. Pain, fear, and grief are not weaknesses. They're your companions for your transformation. We're only in danger of losing time when we simply wait for them to go away."

"How beautiful of a realization is it that we aren't competitors, that we aren't opponents with anyone else on this journey of life. That we aren't called to keep score or tally up our wins, but that we're meant to cheer, support, and come alongside one another as teammates on this journey of being alive day in and day out. But mostly, how lucky we are that we have a partner next to us, naming and chasing our dreams on the same side of the cribbage board."

"The silly stories that make you smile, sweat, cringe, or cry share a bit of how you've become who you are. When you share your failures, every mess has the potential to turn into a message. When you share your scars, you expose the parts of you that have worked so hard to heal. When you share your triumphs, you invite others to celebrate the victory with you. And while your life may never be covered in a docuseries one day or live on the pages of a book, your legacy, your story when shared has the power to make someone else feel a little less along. In a world filled with a billion hollow connections, true vulnerability life that is a gift."

"You might be here right now: exhausted, depleted, tempted to burn the whole thing down, too. But it's important to note what happened after I slept off the melatonin. I didn't quit, but I also didn't just go back to my regularly scheduled programming. I had to discern if everything needed to change or just something needed to change."

kittycate444's review

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4.0

I’ve been following Jenna’s “Goal Digger” podcast since 2016 when I started my photography journey. This book came at the perfect time as I combat leaving the “hustle culture” and fight imposter syndrome. It was uplifting and a great light read to recharge my brain. So many reminders to relax and where you can find your self again.

miavon's review

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informative inspiring medium-paced

4.0

sophierenee's review

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4.0

There were tons of great info and suggestions in here. The one reason I didn’t give it one more star is that the author kept talking about visiting their website at the end of each chapter and through out. Maybe it was just the audiobook version but it felt like many of them weren’t needed and it should have just been added at the end/beginning of the book about the website.

simplymary's review

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3.0

I read this with a friend, chapter by chapter, and enjoyed the discussions it prompted.