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A lot of the book plays out like a journal documenting her daily life in the early Covid-19 period, with a plague of mice, the return of the remains of a nun formerly in their convent, and a visit from a figure from her childhood all bringing up pain, doubt and unresolved/unresolvable memories. It's very reflective, and offers few answers about its themes or the character's struggles. She is troubled and remorseful, but never really comes across as a bad person despite it running throughout the book that she abandoned many people, and one version of her life, to lead a radically different one, and that the change never really provided her the fulfilment she sought. In one of the most memorable sections, she remembers the last act she took in her career before joining the convent for good: unsubscribing from all the email lists and organisations which would have kept her informed about climate change, environmental degradation, activism. One by one she leaves them, and instead adopts this semi-ascetic life of worship, cooking and gardening. In fact, I don't think there are any memories noted in the book that relate to what she actually did in her career - only the relationships she formed, lost or abandoned. Even her former husband barely gets a line, just that he was sad when she left.
The whole thing sort of washed over me while reading it, and only on occasion did it feel like anything stood out, but every page contained something memorable and specific when I flicked back through after finishing it. Perplexing and very thought provoking - it's pretty amazingly put together.
Graphic: Animal death, Child abuse
Moderate: Murder
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Bullying
Moderate: Cancer, Suicide
Graphic: Animal death, Bullying, Chronic illness, Death, Eating disorder, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Murder, Abandonment, Pandemic/Epidemic
Graphic: Animal death
Moderate: Bullying, Mental illness, Suicide, Death of parent, Murder, Colonisation
Minor: Child abuse, Child death
Graphic: Animal death, Death, Eating disorder, Suicide, Terminal illness, Death of parent
Moderate: Gun violence, Sexual assault
Graphic: Animal death, Death of parent
Graphic: Animal death
Moderate: Bullying, Grief, Death of parent
Minor: Cancer, Child abuse, Death, Terminal illness, Colonisation, Classism, Pandemic/Epidemic
Graphic: Animal death, Bullying, Death, Grief, Death of parent, Toxic friendship
Moderate: Cancer, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Suicide, Terminal illness, Pandemic/Epidemic
Graphic: Animal death, Grief, Death of parent
Minor: Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Moderate: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Terminal illness, Death of parent
Minor: Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Gun violence, Mental illness, Suicide, Murder