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avesmaria's review against another edition
4.0
There’s a lot of perceptive information in here about “difficult” children - one of which I have. I very much appreciated the reframing of his qualities that are so often cast in a negative light. The reminder to stay calm and enforce clear boundaries with consequences delineated ahead of time has helped us a lot. I think Kurcinka does the very important work of meeting kids where they are at and assuming that they are generally trying and doing their best with the temperaments they naturally have.
Maybe the most important thing I got out of this book was realizing that I, too, am spirited. Not in an energetic sense (apparently not true of all spirited children but boy, it is true of my child) but in a sensitive, willful, and slow to adapt sense, which would explain why so much of what I remember of my childhood is feeling panicked about unknown/changing plans, feeling like my clothes were uncomfortable, and sensing that people generally did not understand how I experienced the world. I’m that person who can’t concentrate if my sock seam isn’t sitting right.
Maybe the most important thing I got out of this book was realizing that I, too, am spirited. Not in an energetic sense (apparently not true of all spirited children but boy, it is true of my child) but in a sensitive, willful, and slow to adapt sense, which would explain why so much of what I remember of my childhood is feeling panicked about unknown/changing plans, feeling like my clothes were uncomfortable, and sensing that people generally did not understand how I experienced the world. I’m that person who can’t concentrate if my sock seam isn’t sitting right.
roseleaf24's review against another edition
4.0
This book started off slow for me, as I have read enough to have an understanding of my children's temperaments. I don't generally struggle to understand them, but I still had to read the introductory chapters to have a hold on this vocabulary. This book did have some excellent insights and suggestions. I realize as I finish, though, that I read it with my daughter in mind, who is highly sensitive and fits a majority of the basic parts of spirited as well. My son, though, is much less complete in his sensitivity and his spirited nature, but has some of these characteristics to bigger degree. Now that I have an understanding and a general sense of this book, I will have to go back to the pieces that will apply to him.
elizaed's review against another edition
3.0
A mixed bag. There was some practical information here but overall it was less useful than I had hoped. I skimmed some chapters that just didn't apply to my kids, and the ones that did fit for the most part didn't offer enough concrete advice different from what we've tried or read about before. (And one suggestion just seemed downright silly - to repeat affirmations about being a good parent in front of a mirror. Seriously.) However, I think this could be more helpful for a lot of parents. I would say check out the opening of the book which describes the author's idea of a spirited child and if it seems to describe your child too, this is probably worth reading.
amandamallett's review against another edition
5.0
This was recommended to me by our pediatrition, and I can't thank her enough! It has been invaluable to me in learning to parent better.
ris_stitches's review against another edition
5.0
Forgot to mark this one "read" after my kindle loan ran out and I bought a hard copy to finish it. Gosh I should have read this book years ago. What wonderful insight into how your "spirited" child's brain works and what tools and techniques work in different situations. Wonderful book. I think it would incredibly helpful even if your child is not "spirited".
bekab20's review against another edition
4.0
Great advice
I will be referring back to this one a lot. Lots of really useful examples, that can applied in every day life.
I will be referring back to this one a lot. Lots of really useful examples, that can applied in every day life.
amibunk's review against another edition
4.0
This is one of my favorite parenting books of all time.
chelse34's review against another edition
5.0
I for sure have at least one spirited child. This book was amazing! Some of the strategies that it talked about were ones we had already figured out worked for our child too.
I like how it talked about not having negative labels for spirited kids. We can put a positive label for the same thing. For example instead of wild we can say energetic or instead of stubborn we can stay determined. I think positive labels are huge thing for these kids.
One thing that was a huge eye-opener for me was the sleep section. She mentions in here that the cry-it-out method does not work for spirited kids, and I can assure attest to that. Spirited kids need more help from adults to get to sleep and to stay asleep because their bodies need to be calm to sleep and many have irregular schedules. She also mentioned that co-sleeping really helps them, and I totally do this because it does! So everything that I had learned about sleep that didn't work for me (and people saying my way was wrong), this book basically said I was doing right. That was so helpful.
When she got to the school section and picking the right classroom for your spirited child, I was a little hesitant because I know schools don't let you pick their teacher a lot of the times. But she was spot-on. She goes on to talk about writing a letter to the principal about the characteristics of a teacher that would help your child. And that's exactly what I would do in my circumstance as a past teacher (now parent) or what I would suggest to a parent. As a teacher, everything she said about a spirited child in the classroom and how to work with the teacher and the school was fantastic.
So if you feel like you have a spirited child, or a child who feels more. More ups, more downs... They are the Super Ball amongst the tennis balls bouncing in the room, then this book is for you.
I could only find an audio version. The workbook section would have been very helpful to have to look at while reading.
I like how it talked about not having negative labels for spirited kids. We can put a positive label for the same thing. For example instead of wild we can say energetic or instead of stubborn we can stay determined. I think positive labels are huge thing for these kids.
One thing that was a huge eye-opener for me was the sleep section. She mentions in here that the cry-it-out method does not work for spirited kids, and I can assure attest to that. Spirited kids need more help from adults to get to sleep and to stay asleep because their bodies need to be calm to sleep and many have irregular schedules. She also mentioned that co-sleeping really helps them, and I totally do this because it does! So everything that I had learned about sleep that didn't work for me (and people saying my way was wrong), this book basically said I was doing right. That was so helpful.
When she got to the school section and picking the right classroom for your spirited child, I was a little hesitant because I know schools don't let you pick their teacher a lot of the times. But she was spot-on. She goes on to talk about writing a letter to the principal about the characteristics of a teacher that would help your child. And that's exactly what I would do in my circumstance as a past teacher (now parent) or what I would suggest to a parent. As a teacher, everything she said about a spirited child in the classroom and how to work with the teacher and the school was fantastic.
So if you feel like you have a spirited child, or a child who feels more. More ups, more downs... They are the Super Ball amongst the tennis balls bouncing in the room, then this book is for you.
I could only find an audio version. The workbook section would have been very helpful to have to look at while reading.