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theaceofpages's review against another edition
emotional
fast-paced
3.0
Like many people, I first heard about this book because of all the controversy surrounding it by the (far) right/conservatives. As an agender person I am always interested to find books with non-binary characters and I was interested to see what all the fuss is about. My library got a copy at some point so I decided to read it and find out.
Honestly? I was underwhelmed. Please note that this doesn't come from a place of hate. Again, I am agender so I understand how difficult it can be to live in a world where gender seems to be so central to everything. There were definitely some experiences that I related to, but overall? It was honestly just okay. Books with this kind of representation are so important. Gender non-conforming people are so often othered, even in queer spaces and seeing that there are others like you can be such a wonderful moment. But (and this is probably an unpopular opinion) I don't think that this book would be nearly as popular as it is if it weren't for all the controversy around it and people trying to ban it. While the representation is obviously important, I didn't think it was that special? (Please don't come for me!). I went in expecting to enjoy it, but it didn't quite hit the mark for me. I completely understand why people may love it, but I feel like while it explores deeply personal aspects of the author's identity, it fails to look beyond that very much. I know that this is a memoir, but given the limited knowledge most people have on the topic, this is an important part of these kinds of stories. At least for now.
While the author says that ey aren't misogynistic (and I am happy to believe em), the book does perpetuate a lot of stereotypes about what it means to be a woman. A lot of statements surrounding this made by other people (e.g. eir aunt and mother - and eir mother is even super supportive of eir identity - something many trans and gender non-conforming people don't have) are just brushed aside. I know that these kinds of statements are deeply problematic and that you are who you are and don't owe anyine a deep explanation. I get that this comes from a gender mismatch. But I know a lot of people have seen it otherwise. I think giving more space to just explaining this could have gone a long way. Yes, maybe ey don't owe an explanation, but if ey are going to share eir experiences with the public giving it helps immensely. Yes, queerphobes will hate whatever is said, but it will help educate those who are looking to understand. A lot of experiences are just kind of given. While I see what the author was going for here, I do think some reflection on some of eir experiences now that ey have a better understanding of who ey are could have added so much to the book. I feel like this book is more about representation than a message. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, bit we still very much need a stronger education aspect for non-binary identies. I probably wouldn't recommend it to someone who is looking to learn about them, but rather someone who understands them already and wants to learn more about non-binary experiences.
I feel like I haven't properly gotten all my opinions down here because I have very mixed views about this book. I might rewrite parts of this at some point. But is it as bad as the conservatives make it out to be? No . Especially since it's no even intended for young children? Is it an incredible and deep exploration of non-binaryness? Also no, but it does show how parts of how uncomfortable it is to live in a deeply gendered world. Would I recommend it? Probably. Maybe. It depends on who is asking. It's definitely not a bad book. It's deeply personal and the author put a lot of strength and bravery into telling eir story. But I do still wish it was more and maybe actually reflected on some of these experiences. I think exploring and re olving some of the discussions ey had had about eir identity could have helped a lot - especially as critics bring up some of the same points that ey never really dug into in the book beyond saying that the other person was wrong. The ending is also kind of abrupt so ey could even have included a deeper explanation at the end (possibly in text form as I can imagine it could be difficult to explain in graphic novel form).
Honestly? I was underwhelmed. Please note that this doesn't come from a place of hate. Again, I am agender so I understand how difficult it can be to live in a world where gender seems to be so central to everything. There were definitely some experiences that I related to, but overall? It was honestly just okay. Books with this kind of representation are so important. Gender non-conforming people are so often othered, even in queer spaces and seeing that there are others like you can be such a wonderful moment. But (and this is probably an unpopular opinion) I don't think that this book would be nearly as popular as it is if it weren't for all the controversy around it and people trying to ban it. While the representation is obviously important, I didn't think it was that special? (Please don't come for me!). I went in expecting to enjoy it, but it didn't quite hit the mark for me. I completely understand why people may love it, but I feel like while it explores deeply personal aspects of the author's identity, it fails to look beyond that very much. I know that this is a memoir, but given the limited knowledge most people have on the topic, this is an important part of these kinds of stories. At least for now.
While the author says that ey aren't misogynistic (and I am happy to believe em), the book does perpetuate a lot of stereotypes about what it means to be a woman. A lot of statements surrounding this made by other people (e.g. eir aunt and mother - and eir mother is even super supportive of eir identity - something many trans and gender non-conforming people don't have) are just brushed aside. I know that these kinds of statements are deeply problematic and that you are who you are and don't owe anyine a deep explanation. I get that this comes from a gender mismatch. But I know a lot of people have seen it otherwise. I think giving more space to just explaining this could have gone a long way. Yes, maybe ey don't owe an explanation, but if ey are going to share eir experiences with the public giving it helps immensely. Yes, queerphobes will hate whatever is said, but it will help educate those who are looking to understand. A lot of experiences are just kind of given. While I see what the author was going for here, I do think some reflection on some of eir experiences now that ey have a better understanding of who ey are could have added so much to the book. I feel like this book is more about representation than a message. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, bit we still very much need a stronger education aspect for non-binary identies. I probably wouldn't recommend it to someone who is looking to learn about them, but rather someone who understands them already and wants to learn more about non-binary experiences.
I feel like I haven't properly gotten all my opinions down here because I have very mixed views about this book. I might rewrite parts of this at some point. But is it as bad as the conservatives make it out to be? No . Especially since it's no even intended for young children? Is it an incredible and deep exploration of non-binaryness? Also no, but it does show how parts of how uncomfortable it is to live in a deeply gendered world. Would I recommend it? Probably. Maybe. It depends on who is asking. It's definitely not a bad book. It's deeply personal and the author put a lot of strength and bravery into telling eir story. But I do still wish it was more and maybe actually reflected on some of these experiences. I think exploring and re olving some of the discussions ey had had about eir identity could have helped a lot - especially as critics bring up some of the same points that ey never really dug into in the book beyond saying that the other person was wrong. The ending is also kind of abrupt so ey could even have included a deeper explanation at the end (possibly in text form as I can imagine it could be difficult to explain in graphic novel form).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria
Moderate: Medical trauma, Sexual content, and Transphobia
Minor: Misogyny and Blood
cymbal_curtain's review against another edition
emotional
funny
tense
medium-paced
3.0
This book was ok. This is a book about growing up queer mostly. about question gender and sexuality and about hanging out with friends and partners.
1) this book presents "brain sexes" as a scientific truth. This is instead a very controversial topic, without scientific consensus. read the linked for more info (it backs up my claim and is a scientific journal)
1) this book presents "brain sexes" as a scientific truth. This is instead a very controversial topic, without scientific consensus. read the linked for more info (it backs up my claim and is a scientific journal)
https://bsd.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13293-022-00448-w
2) it, if not misinforms, at least confuses, the reader about what "asexual" means. Although the word has some multiple meanings, it primarily means not experiencing attraction, not "not masturbating". And it's fine to me if the author identifies/identified to some extent with the label, but because this is a book I'm a bit disappointed about this.
cws:
I can't list this in the storygraph system as a content warning, but the book does contain romance.
2) it, if not misinforms, at least confuses, the reader about what "asexual" means. Although the word has some multiple meanings, it primarily means not experiencing attraction, not "not masturbating". And it's fine to me if the author identifies/identified to some extent with the label, but because this is a book I'm a bit disappointed about this.
cws:
I can't list this in the storygraph system as a content warning, but the book does contain romance.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria
Moderate: Sexual content and Medical content
Minor: Deadnaming and Outing
crackedspines_'s review against another edition
This is another one I read part of for school and didn’t enjoy enough to finish. I know a lot of people loved this one and I’ve seen a lot of people say it’s “groundbreaking” or that it adds something new to the trans literary canon and frankly I disagree with that. I feel like this is a very common queer narrative - a trans person who has always known they were “different” but didn’t know that meant queer, and they have an accepting family and friends and ample access to queer resources. This is in no way a critique on Maia Kobabe’s life. Eir life is eir life; there’s no arguing with eir lived experiences. Nor is it a critique of eir choice to write this book, especially knowing why e did. I’m just saying that as a narrative, I don’t think it adds much and it’s not a story I am personally interested in reading.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
dannothedino's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Dysphoria, Medical trauma, Body shaming, Medical content, and Sexual content
Moderate: Blood, Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Minor: Acephobia/Arophobia
stevia333k's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
inspiring
fast-paced
5.0
So I mean knowing about the Comstock act after the fall of roe v wade, it makes sense how racial capitalist patriarchy was organized enough to do the book banning shit
But OMG as a trans woman it helped give me context to my internalized transphobia
But OMG as a trans woman it helped give me context to my internalized transphobia
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma and Transphobia
Moderate: Sexual content
jjstoff's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
samanthas_bookshelf's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria and Sexual content
autumnk3lly's review against another edition
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
I don’t think words can describe how much this book effected me. I only picked it up because my Queer Lit professor mentioned it was currently one of the most banned books in the country. I identify as cisgender, but there were so many other parts that really hit hard; Eir struggle with eir’s sexuality and confusion on who they are. I can’t really describe it. I HATE how this book is heavily banned and censored; i think every queer person should read it eventually. I read it cover to cover in about two hours
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Toxic friendship
maxthefish's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
I have never felt more understood then I did reading this. I’ve struggled a lot to figure out if I’m asexual, bisexual, and where I fall on the gender spectrum. I’m so thankful to the author for writing this!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Transphobia, Sexual content, Medical content, and Medical trauma
sophiesometimesreads's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
fast-paced
5.0
An informative and inspiring read that has the potential to help so many young people discover their gender and feel like they're not alone. I felt so much joy through this book as Maia reached key milestones in eir gender journey and as ey had moments of gender euphoria. The art style was great too, very detailed but also easy to look at and absorb. The ending did feel a little abrupt but reinforced the well-understood circular queer experience of never having to stop coming out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Medical content