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crybabybea's review against another edition
4.5
I especially found the writing similar to other memoirs such as I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Dr. Maya Angelou and I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy, in the way that Ashley C. Ford is able to capture her own childhood voice and mix it with her reflection as an adult. She painted a full picture of the events that shaped her, as well as the people closest to her.
I appreciated especially the portrayal of her mother, who was imperfect in every way; abusive but loving, joyful but full of fear and stress, neglectful but caring, and overall just a woman trying her best with what she was given. As well, her father, incarcerated for 20+ years for a crime unknown to Ashley for the majority of her life (and unknown to the reader until the memoir reaches that point in Ashley's timeline) is a full figure of doting and adoration, while Ashley has to reconcile with the reality his crime and what it means to herself and her family. I found the exploration of familial relationships relatable and touching.
Definitely a standout memoir.
Graphic: Fatphobia, Rape, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Death, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Terminal illness, Grief, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual harassment, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Stalking, and Violence
wandering_canuck's review against another edition
5.0
On its face, it is the experience of a girl whose father is incarcerated for a violent crime throughout her childhood and the mother who raised her as a single parent. Oh, but it is so much more.
This searingly honest book captures the complexity of families and our relationships within them. This memoir recounts an imperfect life in an imperfect family with both kindness and honesty. Ashley speaks of her parents and grandmother with love, striking the delicate balance of treating them not as heroes nor as villains.
Ford's writing is akin to that of Roxane Gay, managing to be both poetic and accessible. Simply fabulous. I cannot give it enough stars.
Listen to the audiobook if you can; hearing the memoir in the author's voice makes it that much more convincing.
Graphic: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Rape, Toxic relationship, Bullying, and Child abuse
cartermon4's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Rape, Death, and Grief
Moderate: Sexual content, Miscarriage, Cancer, Classism, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Body shaming
hannahcstocks's review against another edition
4.25
Graphic: Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Rape, Grief, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Cancer, Child abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Physical abuse, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Gaslighting, Eating disorder, Body shaming, Stalking, Sexism, and Misogyny
Minor: Animal cruelty and Animal death
lipstickitotheman's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Grief, Rape, and Sexual assault
Minor: Terminal illness, Pregnancy, Medical content, and Panic attacks/disorders
kenzieburns's review against another edition
4.0
Memoir is probably my favorite genre of non-fiction, likey because of the focus placed on sharing experiences through anecdotal stories and shirt reflections on such. I loved the honesty that Ford brought to this book; she tells it as it is and was, without shame and without remorse, but also offers careful reflections on everything. There were times in her story that I wanted to scream at her mother for treating young Ashley so poorly, but was always reeled back in with Ford's detailed notes on how she picked out her mother's love even in the dark moments. The part of Ford's story that most resonates with me is her flight from her childhood home, and the duality of how leaving affects her. I deeply relate to the split feeling of not doing enough by your family/loved ones, but also knowing that to fully grow into yourself, you need to leave them. It was honestly so validating to read about Ford's internal struggle and see how it reflected some of my own feelings, and I really commend her for so bravely putting her deepest secrets and "shortcomings" down in writing.
A truly beautiful and poignant study of familial relationships, sense of self, and how we all respond to the self-proclaimed "bad" inside of us.
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Rape
Moderate: Toxic relationship
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders and Mental illness
silver_lining_in_a_book's review against another edition
4.0
“We don’t give up on our people. We don’t stop loving them.” She looked into my face, her eyes watering at the bottoms. “Not even when we’re burning alive.”
There is something about memoirs that are written so beautifully they almost read like magical realism that just does it for me. Ashley C. Ford's voice is one of the most lyrical and emotional I have come across this year - I couldn't stop reading it.
This book is so incredibly crafted, you can feel all the love and hard work Ashley has poured into it. I especially loved following this up with Ford's interview with Clint Smith, author of How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America, which touched on so many aspects of the book that I was curious about while reading; it cemented this book as a real masterpiece in my mind.
Considering how short this book is, I do not want to go into a summary of the novel, but I will mention what my favourite aspect - besides the prose - was. This is, of course, a trend for me at this point, but exploring different family dynamics and familial love was the highlight of this book. It's something that never fails to grasp my attention, but the way Ford approached it made me feel like I was experiencing everything she described for myself, particularly when it came to her relationship with her mother and grandmother.
The reason that I cannot give this book the full 5 stars is that I found the beginning to be difficult to get into and I almost put the book down. I am so glad I powered through it, but it was a little bit of a challenge. I also this that certain very important events in Ford's life were glossed over due to the conciseness of this book. I think it would have been very impactful to explore these (no spoilers!) in more detail.
Graphic: Sexual assault, Grief, Rape, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Grief, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, and Racism
Minor: Infidelity, Fatphobia, Drug use, Body shaming, and Alcoholism
moonpotter's review against another edition
4.0
Moderate: Violence, Rape, Toxic relationship, Fatphobia, Alcoholism, and Sexual violence
bashsbooks's review against another edition
5.0
I also greatly enjoyed the interview at the end between Ford and Clint Smith; it is always enlightening to hear great writers discuss their craft. (I may listen to that portion again after reading Smith's book, since he discusses his own word in-depth, too.)
Graphic: Physical abuse, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Rape
Moderate: Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, and Miscarriage
Minor: Cancer, Pedophilia, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Racism, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Body shaming, and Stalking
Incarceration also comes up a lot, since the author's father is in prison for most of the book.discarded_dust_jacket's review against another edition
4.0
Ford’s experiences speak powerfully about being a young woman, growing into a body you’re made to feel is wrong or dirty simply for how others react to it; about the disassociation from and turbulent relationship with that body after sexual assault; about desperately seeking the love and approval of an absent parent; and about so many other things—family, forgiveness, identity. This is such a compelling story in so many ways.
Graphic: Stalking, Rape, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Child death, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, and Pedophilia