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rui_leite's review against another edition
5.0
OMG!!!! OMG!!!! THIS WAS WOW! THE BEST BOOK EVER THIS DECADE! AND MAYBE EVEN THIS YEAR! WOW!
Ok, ok, let me try to explain that... when I started I was bit worried, not because I don't like most young adult, because I do, you have to admire the genre that brought us classics such as the Twilight Saga and, by consequence, that masterpiece of erotica that is 50 Shades of Dorian Gray. That's awesome! But I was worried because Lovecraft is all yuck, I mean his ideas were sort of cool and all, if you are into that, but they were just too...weird. I mean, things with tentacles and fish guys? Yuck, that's just fishy to me (AH AH AH). Sometimes it almost looked as if he was trying to write weird fiction on purpose just to screw with our heads or something! That was not cool! It's yuck! Just yuck! OMG! But you know what's cool? Love! And that is what Awoken is here for! OMG!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sissi or anything like that, I like butch manly things, like sports, woodcarving, lumber-jacking, beers, having fights with my oily mates wearing nothing but skimpy tongs (THAT’S COOL! AND IT’S NOT GAY!), not shaving for days, wearing the same shirt for a week without even taking it off to sleep, that sort of thing… but I also have feelings, we all have them, just like girls do (AND I DO NOT MEAN THIS IN AN OFFENSIVE WAY, YOU GUYS!). The fact is, any proper man has to possess love! OMG, THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!
Still LOVE is complicated… it’s a bit like owning a sports car, or a TV set, or a refrigerator, or a sports car with a tv set and a refrigerator (OMG! I MUST GET ONE OF THOSE!)… you have to take care of your possession once you find the one you want!
Now, if you are smart (and a TRUE MAN should have brains as well as brawns), you will know what a metaphophor is! And this is it! See, you have to read between the lines! Serra, that mistress of wordsmithery, by making Riley, actually be Cathulhu (*SPOILER WARNING*) manages to show you the differences between sexes! You see, just like that hot girl Andy, a good woman will follow her mate like a lost puppy, being all fragile and stuff, and a man MUST take care of her, just like Riley does. This whether she likes it or not! It’s a duty! Sometimes you may have to restrain her (like Riley does in that enlightening chapter where he takes Andy to his home, gagged and bound, just to protect her from herself *SPOILER WARNING!*).
The truth is, reading about Riley and Andy shows you very well how to do that complex balancing act between "caring" and "taking care of" that is love (like in that beautiful chapter nineteen , for example, when Riley is such a cool guy that he actually DOES care if Andy kills herself after he leaves her, that's TRUE LOVE (*SPOILER WARNING!*) ).
As an added bonus, we get to see all this from the point of view of a girl! Now, this might scare most males at first, I know, as it promises to be a confusing and whimsical ride, but trust me, as far as girls go Andy has a wonderful head on her shoulders (a bit like Bella Swan), as long as Riley is there to take care of her, of course. When you read about her thoughts and emotions you will see how frail and weak she really is, you will sympathize with that dear, dear creature, and afterwards you will be able to understand ALL girls much better!
So, once you read this, you will know what it takes to make a relationship based on TRUE LOVE work:
1) Just be a man (or a Lovecraftian God HA!HA!HA! *SPOILER WARNING!*), if you are one
2) Just be a girl, if you are one
Now, in case of 1):
a) you should know that you own and are responsible for 2). (Riley clearly understands that! He takes care of Andy, but he also tells her like it is, that is why he’s so COOL!)
b) You should pay attention to a girl’s sobs and, you should at least try to make them happy sometimes (LIKE THAT PART IN NEW YORK! RILEY WAS SO COOL THERE! TAKING ANDY TO SEE PHANTOM AND ALL! LOVED THAT! *SPOILER WARNING!*)
c) Don’t be like that poor boy, the Indian one (NOT NATIVE AMERICAN!), who kind of would be well for the chubby friend of Andy . He was trying to treat girls as equals, when they are not (THERE IS A DIFFERENCE YOU GUYS!), and that was why he got friendzoned until he went all mean and stuff (*SPOILER WARNING!*)
Now, in case of 2):
a) don’t be like that sluty teacher, Miss Epistle, who dresses in a provocative way and is actually an evil slut (SEE? THAT WAS ONE OFTHE REASONS WHY RILEY METAPHORICALLY CHOSE ANDY OVER HER IN THAT CHAPTER WHERE IT TURNS OUT SHE WAS A CULTIST AND TRIED TO SUMMON HIM! (*SPOILER WARNING!*). That’s just tacky.
b) don’t eat allot, like Bree, because you’ll get fat.
c) be more like Andy, she’s one of the good ones, and that makes her HOT!
So, to sum up, yes, I’m not embarrassed to say this book is very important to me! I loved Riley (IN A MANLY WAY!) and learned a lot from him. I also liked Andy because she was just the perfect girl, so complying, so endearing, so frail and loyal… really, who wouldn’t be taken by her? Probably one of those smelly feminists who are all lesbians anyway, or gay guys, that’s who!
FOR EVERYONE ELSE…
IF YOU ARE A TRUE GIRL, PICK THIS UP!
IF YOU ARE A TRUE MAN, PICK THIS UP!
IF YOU ARE NOT, GO AWAY, I DON’T LIKE YOU!
Honestly, I really think Serra deserves a Nobel Peace Prize For Literature or something, because she really gets the intricacies of the human mind (AND LOVECRAFTIAN GODS! AH AH AH! *SPOILER WARNING!*) and writes about them with a beautiful prose!
IN SHORT, READ IT! NOW!
(Also… sorry for this very short review, but it was written a bit in a hurry… the book deserved a longer one… IT WAS SO GOOD! OMG!)
Ok, ok, let me try to explain that... when I started I was bit worried, not because I don't like most young adult, because I do, you have to admire the genre that brought us classics such as the Twilight Saga and, by consequence, that masterpiece of erotica that is 50 Shades of Dorian Gray. That's awesome! But I was worried because Lovecraft is all yuck, I mean his ideas were sort of cool and all, if you are into that, but they were just too...weird. I mean, things with tentacles and fish guys? Yuck, that's just fishy to me (AH AH AH). Sometimes it almost looked as if he was trying to write weird fiction on purpose just to screw with our heads or something! That was not cool! It's yuck! Just yuck! OMG! But you know what's cool? Love! And that is what Awoken is here for! OMG!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sissi or anything like that, I like butch manly things, like sports, woodcarving, lumber-jacking, beers, having fights with my oily mates wearing nothing but skimpy tongs (THAT’S COOL! AND IT’S NOT GAY!), not shaving for days, wearing the same shirt for a week without even taking it off to sleep, that sort of thing… but I also have feelings, we all have them, just like girls do (AND I DO NOT MEAN THIS IN AN OFFENSIVE WAY, YOU GUYS!). The fact is, any proper man has to possess love! OMG, THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!
Still LOVE is complicated… it’s a bit like owning a sports car, or a TV set, or a refrigerator, or a sports car with a tv set and a refrigerator (OMG! I MUST GET ONE OF THOSE!)… you have to take care of your possession once you find the one you want!
Now, if you are smart (and a TRUE MAN should have brains as well as brawns), you will know what a metaphophor is! And this is it! See, you have to read between the lines! Serra, that mistress of wordsmithery, by making Riley, actually be Cathulhu (*SPOILER WARNING*) manages to show you the differences between sexes! You see, just like that hot girl Andy, a good woman will follow her mate like a lost puppy, being all fragile and stuff, and a man MUST take care of her, just like Riley does. This whether she likes it or not! It’s a duty! Sometimes you may have to restrain her (like Riley does in that enlightening chapter where he takes Andy to his home, gagged and bound, just to protect her from herself *SPOILER WARNING!*).
The truth is, reading about Riley and Andy shows you very well how to do that complex balancing act between "caring" and "taking care of" that is love (like in that beautiful chapter nineteen , for example, when Riley is such a cool guy that he actually DOES care if Andy kills herself after he leaves her, that's TRUE LOVE (*SPOILER WARNING!*) ).
As an added bonus, we get to see all this from the point of view of a girl! Now, this might scare most males at first, I know, as it promises to be a confusing and whimsical ride, but trust me, as far as girls go Andy has a wonderful head on her shoulders (a bit like Bella Swan), as long as Riley is there to take care of her, of course. When you read about her thoughts and emotions you will see how frail and weak she really is, you will sympathize with that dear, dear creature, and afterwards you will be able to understand ALL girls much better!
So, once you read this, you will know what it takes to make a relationship based on TRUE LOVE work:
1) Just be a man (or a Lovecraftian God HA!HA!HA! *SPOILER WARNING!*), if you are one
2) Just be a girl, if you are one
Now, in case of 1):
a) you should know that you own and are responsible for 2). (Riley clearly understands that! He takes care of Andy, but he also tells her like it is, that is why he’s so COOL!)
b) You should pay attention to a girl’s sobs and, you should at least try to make them happy sometimes (LIKE THAT PART IN NEW YORK! RILEY WAS SO COOL THERE! TAKING ANDY TO SEE PHANTOM AND ALL! LOVED THAT! *SPOILER WARNING!*)
c) Don’t be like that poor boy, the Indian one (NOT NATIVE AMERICAN!), who kind of would be well for the chubby friend of Andy . He was trying to treat girls as equals, when they are not (THERE IS A DIFFERENCE YOU GUYS!), and that was why he got friendzoned until he went all mean and stuff (*SPOILER WARNING!*)
Now, in case of 2):
a) don’t be like that sluty teacher, Miss Epistle, who dresses in a provocative way and is actually an evil slut (SEE? THAT WAS ONE OFTHE REASONS WHY RILEY METAPHORICALLY CHOSE ANDY OVER HER IN THAT CHAPTER WHERE IT TURNS OUT SHE WAS A CULTIST AND TRIED TO SUMMON HIM! (*SPOILER WARNING!*). That’s just tacky.
b) don’t eat allot, like Bree, because you’ll get fat.
c) be more like Andy, she’s one of the good ones, and that makes her HOT!
So, to sum up, yes, I’m not embarrassed to say this book is very important to me! I loved Riley (IN A MANLY WAY!) and learned a lot from him. I also liked Andy because she was just the perfect girl, so complying, so endearing, so frail and loyal… really, who wouldn’t be taken by her? Probably one of those smelly feminists who are all lesbians anyway, or gay guys, that’s who!
FOR EVERYONE ELSE…
IF YOU ARE A TRUE GIRL, PICK THIS UP!
IF YOU ARE A TRUE MAN, PICK THIS UP!
IF YOU ARE NOT, GO AWAY, I DON’T LIKE YOU!
Honestly, I really think Serra deserves a Nobel Peace Prize For Literature or something, because she really gets the intricacies of the human mind (AND LOVECRAFTIAN GODS! AH AH AH! *SPOILER WARNING!*) and writes about them with a beautiful prose!
IN SHORT, READ IT! NOW!
(Also… sorry for this very short review, but it was written a bit in a hurry… the book deserved a longer one… IT WAS SO GOOD! OMG!)
scandalabra's review against another edition
funny
fast-paced
3.5
An interesting experiment. Certainly highlighted certain parts of older YA novels - both tropes and the way things were written about.
ithilwen22's review against another edition
4.0
This parody took everything from bad YA and made it 1000% worse. It is ridiculous and I love it like I love chocolate cake.
akrachel's review against another edition
funny
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
_kvjones_'s review against another edition
3.0
Torn between a two and a three, so I allowed a three because I think it accomplishes what it was meant to accomplish at the time it was created. I think, truly, parodies of this nature are a bit too hateful for me, even if I agree with criticisms of the materials they mock. The very people it mocks might enjoy it too genuinely to understand the criticism and people unaware it's a parody might simply believe it to be authentic.
There were elements of it that were very entertaining, especially the "I was not invited to the party" moment. I found the Acknowledgements and the sheer effort to be incorrect amusing. If it was genuine, it would at my most generous be a one, but I suppose that was the point.
There were elements of it that were very entertaining, especially the "I was not invited to the party" moment. I found the Acknowledgements and the sheer effort to be incorrect amusing. If it was genuine, it would at my most generous be a one, but I suppose that was the point.
febbles's review
5.0
This is everything you could ever want from a book. Not sure how to go on, now that I've experienced the epitome of literature. 5/5.
blueschala's review against another edition
4.0
Part of me hates being one of the spoilsports pointing out that this book is a stealth parody of the paranormal romance genre, but I feel I have to in order to be honest in my review. (And I heartily recommend looking up the back story on how the project came about.)
That being said, this book is exactly what a parody is supposed to be. It's an exaggeration of the tropes of paranormal romance. The bland main character. The deplorable, creepy love interest with superpowers. The token ethnic third wheel. The author's love affair with her thesaurus.
Yet, the story is strangely compelling. I didn't care one bit about any of the characters (except "Uncle Neil," of course), but I legitimately wanted to keep reading to find out what would happen.
In short, it's brilliant.
I detract one star from the rating because I did pick out some spelling and grammar errors in the Kindle version that were obviously not intentional. This is going to happen with most self-published books though, and it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the book.
That being said, this book is exactly what a parody is supposed to be. It's an exaggeration of the tropes of paranormal romance. The bland main character. The deplorable, creepy love interest with superpowers. The token ethnic third wheel. The author's love affair with her thesaurus.
Yet, the story is strangely compelling. I didn't care one bit about any of the characters (except "Uncle Neil," of course), but I legitimately wanted to keep reading to find out what would happen.
In short, it's brilliant.
I detract one star from the rating because I did pick out some spelling and grammar errors in the Kindle version that were obviously not intentional. This is going to happen with most self-published books though, and it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the book.
mermads's review against another edition
They really committed to the bit. They took all the worst/cringiest trends from the 2000s, 2010s ya paranormal/otherworldly romance scene and put it into one novel. If I didn't know it was satire, I would have believed it was a poor imitation trying to cash in on the popularity of Twilight and the likes. I would like to believe I wouldn't have fallen for this way back in the day, but I enjoyed Hush, Hush and Blue Bloods series when I was a teenager so.
I don't know how I feel about this as a piece of satire, as I rarely consume the genre unless it's The Onion. I was a young teen reader when the Twilight movies were coming out, so now I am always hesitant when people ridicule the trends that a majority of girls enjoy. But I don't feel like this was poking fun at the girls that read stuff like this. The authors were attacking the very questionable characterizations, romance plots, and overall story structure of those ya novels. They were very indulgent for readers, but there were just some objectively bad components (Cannot believe I liked Patch in Hush, Hush. As an adult, I want to smack him and report him for harassing a minor.)
I feel like there could be a discussion about the paranormal/otherworldly romance scene as the teens that were reading those books in the 2010s are now reading SJM, Ice Planet Barbarian, and the likes. It does not seem like the need for some supernatural indulgence has died, we've all just graduated to the adult section.
I don't know how I feel about this as a piece of satire, as I rarely consume the genre unless it's The Onion. I was a young teen reader when the Twilight movies were coming out, so now I am always hesitant when people ridicule the trends that a majority of girls enjoy. But I don't feel like this was poking fun at the girls that read stuff like this. The authors were attacking the very questionable characterizations, romance plots, and overall story structure of those ya novels. They were very indulgent for readers, but there were just some objectively bad components (Cannot believe I liked Patch in Hush, Hush. As an adult, I want to smack him and report him for harassing a minor.)
I feel like there could be a discussion about the paranormal/otherworldly romance scene as the teens that were reading those books in the 2010s are now reading SJM, Ice Planet Barbarian, and the likes. It does not seem like the need for some supernatural indulgence has died, we've all just graduated to the adult section.
captainhotbun's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
5.0