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3.82 AVERAGE
3.82 AVERAGE
dark
reflective
tense
medium-paced
SUCH a good read. So incredibly interesting, humanizing, and allows so much empathy for people struggling with sociopathy.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
I think the author of this book is really courageous and I found the whole topic fascinating. It left me with more unanswered questions than anything, but did help me shift my perspective and how I think of "good" and "bad".
Fascinating life of a sociopath. I found myself connecting to it from my own experience as a neurodivergent person and started to make connections with other disorders. I'm not a sociopath, but I understood her frustration with people projecting and not understanding that what we're doing isn't a choice.
Edit
I found this book one day on Libby and thought it sounded interesting so I put a hold on it and forgot. I got a notification that it was my turn and started listening without looking up anything about the book. I don't know much about sociopathy; I took AP psych and my teacher couldn't explain it then or even tell me the difference between that and psychopathy.
Additionally, I believe I am autistic, or at least on the spectrum somewhere. For years I thought there was something 'wrong' with me and I'd ask people around me. They didn't know what it was but there was definitely SOMETHING about me that was different. I learned about autism in highschool, met autistic people and ADHD people. I went to school for elementary education and learned the signs in autism, how to they learn things, how to understand their sensory difficulties, and how their childhoods typically are. And I found myself relating more and more with that experience and the experiences of people who are diagnosed. My brother is diagnosed ADHD, even if my mom denies it and he never officially got help, he was tested and the doctor offered medication. I haven't sought out a diagnosis because they are Very Expensive and often not helpful. There isn't a treatment for autism. They just teach you how to mask and be part of society. I figured that part out, I struggle with balance and taking care of myself in a world that expects much more of me than I am capable of giving. Okay, now, one with my view on this book and everyone's speculation.
I also wonder about her credentials. She never mentions what schools she went to or even what degree she got the first time. She says she became a music manager, did she study this in school? I can tell there's a lot of stuff she didn't keep in the book. And I think a lot of it is irrelevant. To me, it seems like she got a 'doctorate' just so she could dedicate time to learning about her condition. Which, if I had the resources, I would absolutely do the same. I wouldn't want to practice, I just want to learn. I see some people concerned about her using a term that is not in the DSMV. That's. The. Point. She felt the term being used with the treatment plan for it didn't suit her. By telling her stories, she wants us to understand why she doesn't fall in that category. She wants us to start using the word, to not be scare of it.
I'm also now wondering why I see some people thinking she could be autistic. Her defining feature is her lack of remorse and how difficult it is for her to feel anything but anger and joy. Her antisocial tendencies can overlap with autism, but it isn't a defining feature of autism. It's more like... A side effect. There are lots of outgoing autistics. In regards to feelings, I definitely have feelings. I have so many. I just don't know what they are, what they mean, how to get rid of them, or how to identify them. It's all just a big unreachable cloud for me. What she describes, is a void. It makes me wonder how many people reading this has experienced true apathy - i'm not sure I ever have.
The book reads like a movie and I had a hard time remembering that this is a real person, not just a character. I think that was due to the style of writing, it was much more narrative like than recalling memories. To me, it felt like the period of time I spent after discovering I could be autistic. I went through my catalogue of childhood memories and picked out all the weird things that happened, that I did, that could be related to my potential diagnosis. It didn't feel like she was trying to sensationalize her actions, it didn't feel like she was showing off.
It felt like she was asking us what makes a bad person bad.
She clearly has a moral compass, something many people believed a sociopath or psychopath is incapable of having. But why? Does this not come back to the question we've always asked: are humans inherently good? How much does nature v nurture effect someone? In 'Patric's case, she grew up in a loving home. Her mother struggled with her, but she didn't doubt she loved her. Not all ND are blessed with this. She had people who supported her, she wasn't ever afraid for her safety. But having a moral compass doesn't stop you from doing bad things. I know stealing is wrong, but sometimes it's fun.
I think this book is flawed but I think people are looking for something clinical. This isn't a clinical book - it's a memoir. I think the purpose of the book is lost a little. In my opinion, the book is for other people who relate to her compulsions to seek help. To realize that there is hope for them. But it also is for no one but her. The point of the book wasn't to help anyone but herself work through her diagnosis.
Edit
I found this book one day on Libby and thought it sounded interesting so I put a hold on it and forgot. I got a notification that it was my turn and started listening without looking up anything about the book. I don't know much about sociopathy; I took AP psych and my teacher couldn't explain it then or even tell me the difference between that and psychopathy.
Additionally, I believe I am autistic, or at least on the spectrum somewhere. For years I thought there was something 'wrong' with me and I'd ask people around me. They didn't know what it was but there was definitely SOMETHING about me that was different. I learned about autism in highschool, met autistic people and ADHD people. I went to school for elementary education and learned the signs in autism, how to they learn things, how to understand their sensory difficulties, and how their childhoods typically are. And I found myself relating more and more with that experience and the experiences of people who are diagnosed. My brother is diagnosed ADHD, even if my mom denies it and he never officially got help, he was tested and the doctor offered medication. I haven't sought out a diagnosis because they are Very Expensive and often not helpful. There isn't a treatment for autism. They just teach you how to mask and be part of society. I figured that part out, I struggle with balance and taking care of myself in a world that expects much more of me than I am capable of giving. Okay, now, one with my view on this book and everyone's speculation.
I also wonder about her credentials. She never mentions what schools she went to or even what degree she got the first time. She says she became a music manager, did she study this in school? I can tell there's a lot of stuff she didn't keep in the book. And I think a lot of it is irrelevant. To me, it seems like she got a 'doctorate' just so she could dedicate time to learning about her condition. Which, if I had the resources, I would absolutely do the same. I wouldn't want to practice, I just want to learn. I see some people concerned about her using a term that is not in the DSMV. That's. The. Point. She felt the term being used with the treatment plan for it didn't suit her. By telling her stories, she wants us to understand why she doesn't fall in that category. She wants us to start using the word, to not be scare of it.
I'm also now wondering why I see some people thinking she could be autistic. Her defining feature is her lack of remorse and how difficult it is for her to feel anything but anger and joy. Her antisocial tendencies can overlap with autism, but it isn't a defining feature of autism. It's more like... A side effect. There are lots of outgoing autistics. In regards to feelings, I definitely have feelings. I have so many. I just don't know what they are, what they mean, how to get rid of them, or how to identify them. It's all just a big unreachable cloud for me. What she describes, is a void. It makes me wonder how many people reading this has experienced true apathy - i'm not sure I ever have.
The book reads like a movie and I had a hard time remembering that this is a real person, not just a character. I think that was due to the style of writing, it was much more narrative like than recalling memories. To me, it felt like the period of time I spent after discovering I could be autistic. I went through my catalogue of childhood memories and picked out all the weird things that happened, that I did, that could be related to my potential diagnosis. It didn't feel like she was trying to sensationalize her actions, it didn't feel like she was showing off.
It felt like she was asking us what makes a bad person bad.
She clearly has a moral compass, something many people believed a sociopath or psychopath is incapable of having. But why? Does this not come back to the question we've always asked: are humans inherently good? How much does nature v nurture effect someone? In 'Patric's case, she grew up in a loving home. Her mother struggled with her, but she didn't doubt she loved her. Not all ND are blessed with this. She had people who supported her, she wasn't ever afraid for her safety. But having a moral compass doesn't stop you from doing bad things. I know stealing is wrong, but sometimes it's fun.
I think this book is flawed but I think people are looking for something clinical. This isn't a clinical book - it's a memoir. I think the purpose of the book is lost a little. In my opinion, the book is for other people who relate to her compulsions to seek help. To realize that there is hope for them. But it also is for no one but her. The point of the book wasn't to help anyone but herself work through her diagnosis.
dark
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
Psychological inquiry: very interesting
Narrative: extremely boring
Credentials of author: questionable
Narrative: extremely boring
Credentials of author: questionable
Just an unbearable read. Full of self aggrandisement , internal
Logic fuzzy, and I suspect a few parts are untrue. I wanted to understand this person’s perspective but felt this was an unreliable
Narrator. But in the end this was mostly my own as this is precisely what you would get with this topic. Decided to quit midway as life is too short to be this dissatisfied
Logic fuzzy, and I suspect a few parts are untrue. I wanted to understand this person’s perspective but felt this was an unreliable
Narrator. But in the end this was mostly my own as this is precisely what you would get with this topic. Decided to quit midway as life is too short to be this dissatisfied
challenging
dark
slow-paced
this is a tricky one !!!!!
voy a empezar por lo bueno:
me encantan las memorias. normalmente me cuesta dar con una que me interese lo suficiente como para añadirla siquiera al tbr, pero a esta le tengo el ojo echado desde que salió. eso sí, cuando doy con una me dura un par de días
el segundo punto a su favor es que trata de un tema que me APASIONA. llevo 3-4 años leyendo e informándome sobre los distintos tipos de personalidades y este libro es una buena mezcla entre historia, diálogo e información. se me hizo muy ameno y superdigerible, se repiten las cosas unas cuantas veces (a veces quizá demasiadas) y aunque no sé si está hecho a propósito, a mí me vino perfecto
tercero: es una oportunidad de meterte en la mente de alguien diferente a ti (o no, igual te identificas muchísimo con ella). el libro abarca prácticamente toda su vida y nos va contando situaciones en ciertos momentos y cómo las afrontaba, cuándo se dio cuenta de que algo no iba "bien", sus intentos por encajar y el presente.
vamos con los puntos negativos:
el libro empieza literalmente diciéndonos que es una mentirosa
I am a liar. I am a thief. I'm emotionally shallow. I'm mostly immune to remorse and guilt. I am highly manipulative. I don't care what other people think. I'm not interested in morals. I'm not interested, period.
por eso me cuesta mucho conciliar esa primera página con la sociópata controlada que quiere ayudar a otros sociópatas, esposa enamorada y buenísima madre que nos cuenta que es. cuánto de lo que he leído es real y cuánto es simplemente una forma más de manipulación? por lo que nos cuenta, creo que su caso es leve porque a ella SÍ le importan las cosas. no estoy en una posición de juzgar demasiado porque mis conocimientos de psicología son bastante básicos, pero creo que puede haber más de un diagnóstico por ahí al que no le han prestado atención por querer centrarse solo en su “sociopatía”
por otro lado, aunque al principio nos dice que ha intentado recordar lo mejor posible, los diálogos son demasiado perfectos. están demasiado retocados y me llego a creer que de algo minúsculo haya podido sacar una escena pomposa y perfecta para un libro, porque está todo TAN bien hilado y por eso lo he disfrutado tanto, pero bueno, da qué pensar
por último quiero hablar sobre la relación con su marido. cuando se conocieron a él le parecía una pasada que ella fuera como es y me parece normal porque eran polos opuestos y supongo que en la adolescencia uno puede sentirse atraído a esa parte más oscura de la humanidad. luego ya no le gustaba tanto porque no se ajustaba a lo que él quería y necesitaba de ella. lo que está claro es que eran buenos amigos cuando rompían, pero estando en una relación él no se conformaba con que su pareja fuera de x manera. sin meterme mucho más en ello, me ha encantado ver cómo ha evolucionado esa relación en el libro (vete tú a saber cuánto de eso es verdad), me pareció algo muy real que le puede pasar a una pareja y se nota el trabajo individual (y conjunto) para que la relación funcione porque se quieren muchísimo
lo complicado vino después de leer el libro. supe que me había gustado porque no he podido parar de leer desde que lo empecé. ahora bien, lo trato como cualquier otro dándole una nota y ya? lo puntúo basándome en mi disfrute general de la lectura o incluyo el hecho de que no me creo demasiado a la autora?
en fin, dejo una puntuación provisional y si en algún momento decido cambiarla, lo haré
voy a empezar por lo bueno:
me encantan las memorias. normalmente me cuesta dar con una que me interese lo suficiente como para añadirla siquiera al tbr, pero a esta le tengo el ojo echado desde que salió. eso sí, cuando doy con una me dura un par de días
el segundo punto a su favor es que trata de un tema que me APASIONA. llevo 3-4 años leyendo e informándome sobre los distintos tipos de personalidades y este libro es una buena mezcla entre historia, diálogo e información. se me hizo muy ameno y superdigerible, se repiten las cosas unas cuantas veces (a veces quizá demasiadas) y aunque no sé si está hecho a propósito, a mí me vino perfecto
tercero: es una oportunidad de meterte en la mente de alguien diferente a ti (o no, igual te identificas muchísimo con ella). el libro abarca prácticamente toda su vida y nos va contando situaciones en ciertos momentos y cómo las afrontaba, cuándo se dio cuenta de que algo no iba "bien", sus intentos por encajar y el presente.
vamos con los puntos negativos:
el libro empieza literalmente diciéndonos que es una mentirosa
I am a liar. I am a thief. I'm emotionally shallow. I'm mostly immune to remorse and guilt. I am highly manipulative. I don't care what other people think. I'm not interested in morals. I'm not interested, period.
por eso me cuesta mucho conciliar esa primera página con la sociópata controlada que quiere ayudar a otros sociópatas, esposa enamorada y buenísima madre que nos cuenta que es. cuánto de lo que he leído es real y cuánto es simplemente una forma más de manipulación? por lo que nos cuenta, creo que su caso es leve porque a ella SÍ le importan las cosas. no estoy en una posición de juzgar demasiado porque mis conocimientos de psicología son bastante básicos, pero creo que puede haber más de un diagnóstico por ahí al que no le han prestado atención por querer centrarse solo en su “sociopatía”
por otro lado, aunque al principio nos dice que ha intentado recordar lo mejor posible, los diálogos son demasiado perfectos. están demasiado retocados y me llego a creer que de algo minúsculo haya podido sacar una escena pomposa y perfecta para un libro, porque está todo TAN bien hilado y por eso lo he disfrutado tanto, pero bueno, da qué pensar
por último quiero hablar sobre la relación con su marido. cuando se conocieron a él le parecía una pasada que ella fuera como es y me parece normal porque eran polos opuestos y supongo que en la adolescencia uno puede sentirse atraído a esa parte más oscura de la humanidad. luego ya no le gustaba tanto porque no se ajustaba a lo que él quería y necesitaba de ella. lo que está claro es que eran buenos amigos cuando rompían, pero estando en una relación él no se conformaba con que su pareja fuera de x manera. sin meterme mucho más en ello, me ha encantado ver cómo ha evolucionado esa relación en el libro (vete tú a saber cuánto de eso es verdad), me pareció algo muy real que le puede pasar a una pareja y se nota el trabajo individual (y conjunto) para que la relación funcione porque se quieren muchísimo
lo complicado vino después de leer el libro. supe que me había gustado porque no he podido parar de leer desde que lo empecé. ahora bien, lo trato como cualquier otro dándole una nota y ya? lo puntúo basándome en mi disfrute general de la lectura o incluyo el hecho de que no me creo demasiado a la autora?
en fin, dejo una puntuación provisional y si en algún momento decido cambiarla, lo haré
